>>43288376
If he can do so much better, why isn't he? Seems like he's happy where he's at!

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>>43288376

I came to /lgbt/ to entertain myself and be mean yet I keep seeing threads of trans people beating themselves up and depressing over dumb shit.

Seriously. He chose to be with you.
The notion of not being good enough for him or him being out of your league is bullshit you made up in your own head.
Why would you sabotage your relationship over nothing?

>>43288376
and yet he doesn't
ask yourself why, maybe you are what he wants and you offer something other girls couldn't
not everything is about the looks or the sex.

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For the love of god, don't ruin the relationship with your own damn insecurities. If not for yourself because you hate yourself so much, then at least for your bf's sake assuming you love him.

My ex broke the relationship through her rampant self-hatred, self-sabotage and her lack of self worth, and to this day I'm miserable and miss her. All this shit about not passing or her having a dick never mattered to me. She was beautiful and the sex was great, though besides that none of that mattered compared to simply who she was. Beauty and good sex you can find anywhere, but never was there someone as funny, caring or protective as her. No one made me feel as loved as she did. If you make your bf feel even half as good as she made me feel, don't even fucking dare think about this shit. Love yourself and keep loving him. Don't break his heart with your selfish lack of self worth. Finding an actual good woman is hard as shit.

>>43288376
The main thing really is that he deserves a woman who doesn’t hate herself

I wish she gave a shit about how I felt

>>43288508
Cissies deserve to be with real people that won't kill themselves and are able to give them children. If you don't get how hopeless dating a tranny is then I hope you never have to experience it, for your sake.

>>43289246
I understand the implications of dating a tranny. It's never going to end well if you'd like to create a family in the future.

OP's boyfriend appears to have chosen to date them for the time being, so whether he deserves a real woman or not is irrelevant.
It's about OP's insecurities preventing them from enjoying the relationship while it lasts. That's what makes me feel bad for them.

>>43289290
Inability to mother a child isn't the only issue. Trannies are self-destructive degenerates, they can never be truly happy because of the way their brain works. It will always end badly, and OP's boyfriend deserves better.

>>43289246
This is retarded. I don't want kids y tf should I care about fertility. Also dating trans people went just fine for me no idea what you're whining on about.

>>43289342
Okay. But what if OP's boyfriend is into that?
What if he wants to dominate a male that's trying to be a female for him?
Sure, people don't troon out without having a fucked up brain, but I'm sure at least some of those mental issues can be worked around.
It's the "I can fix her" meme but for gay men.

>>43289401
People are different. Anon here probably just came to trans porn and is riding on the post nut regret.

>>43289401
>I don't want kids
Give it another few years.
>Also dating trans people went just fine for me no idea what you're whining on about.
If you're still with him, give it another few years.

>>43289409
Because it will end in catastrophe for him, and he doesn't deserve that. Nobody does.
>but I'm sure at least some of the mental issues can be worked around
no

>>43289417
I don't masturbate.

>>43289470
Well, that just means that we approach life differently.
I'm pretty blackpilled on the current state of the world, so I don't place too much emphasis on long term goals. Dating someone while knowing that it's only going to last a couple of years is viable from my point of view.
We can agree to disagree on the "working around mental issues" thing. From my experience, it's possible to date an unstable person, even though it's always going to be an uphill battle. I only have experience with women though.

>>43288376
Once I had a dream...

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yeah he hates when you say this because its the same shit test that literally every single foid that has ever existed runs on their boyfriend constantly, its extremely fucking annoying.

>>43288376
This is my mindset when it comes to dating cis women; they should date an actual normal man instead of me

t. repper

>>43289854
Holy shit it's like two sides of the troon coin.
On one side there are people that argue that they are the same as real women and should be treated the same.
On the other are people that are so insecure about it that it's depressing.

Despite what Reddit gas taught you, gender doesn't matter. Unless your partner has specific relationship goals that involve physical traits you lack, no one cares.
If they actively choose to spend time with you, you are good enough for them at this specific point in their life.

>>43288376
I think we both know that your bf likes penis. If he liked females, he would be dating them. Its you who deserves better than a homosexual

>>43289117
I understand your ex. I would leave my bf if he was ok with the penis

>>43289246
No, men generally don't deserve to make babies. Most men are never going to be fathers so its good that they are with people who cannot reproduce. Most men are not worth a child

Can you even do anything about a tranny's self-hate and sabotage? Every story I've heard seem to end up in the tranny either killing themselves, making the other party hate them, or break off the relationship themselves, is it really not possible to love these poor souls?

>>43289996
retard

>>43290000
That's kind of the problem.
You won't magically start loving yourself when you transition. Even if you end up looking like a woman, have years of HRT, all of the relevant surgeries, you will still be you.
The only real solution is therapy. Too bad it's hard to find a good therapist. Most of them will push you towards transitioning since that is almost guaranteed to secure them a client for the observable future.

>>43289996
Option A: You didn't have a father.
Option B: Your father was a piece of shit, so now you think that all men are pieces of shit.

There is no option C. You won't find anyone who says this shit that grew up in a functional family.

>>43290033
>The only real splution is a jewish scam
no thanks, Goldberg

>>43290188
>has a mental health issue
>noooo fixing my mental health would benefit jews i want to stay delusional
Sounds about right.

>>43290259
therapy fixes nothing

some of y'all are really good at self sabotage

>>43292111
Have you tried?

>>43292696
yes. grok as unironically been 1000x better than any of the 3 therapist ive had

>>43292705
So, have those therapists addressed your self hate and self sabotage or just reinforced your delusions?

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>>43292142
self sabotage is the heart and core of a 4tranner. thats why they seethe at passoids, cissoids and just anyone in general who is happy to any degree, because they dont allow that to themselves

The people in this thread are failing to realize that OP's insecurity is almost certainly the only reason SHE hasn't left HIM. Trying to comfort her and argue her out of her delusions would just ultimately lead to destroying the relationship anyway. Evidently regardless of all of her flaws, he picked her - if her self confidence is this low, evidently she didn't pick him, and who's to say she would if she started respecting herself more? People in general are not known for truly appreciating others who picked them even at their worst.

>>43293363
yea I would probably leave my bf if I wasn't scared of him being the last one ill ever have
>>43292753
all therapists want to talk about is CBT and a bunch of other crap. At least grok tells me what I am weak at and doesnt hug box. This is average therapist appt
>I feel like shit because I look like a man
aww no you are a beautiful valid woman
>everyone calls me sir and im 6' tall with basketball palming hands
aww no you just need to stop obsessing over those features blah blah be mindful in the present
>that doesnt work because in the present I am a disgusting estrogenized man-creature
well actually you are sad because you have major depressive disorder here is 8000 godzillion pills and also if you say you want to die I will send you to jail with no trial

>>43294718
>yea I would probably leave my bf if I wasn't scared of him being the last one ill ever have
And thus you are evil and do not deserve him, nor any of the empathy people in this thread have shown you.

why does everyone in this thread talk about op like she has said the craziest thing in the world
>>43288376
arent those at least semi normel feeling to have in a relationship

>>43294792
I know, im a bad person. He is no gem either tho. we really deserve each other.

>>43295106
I need to ask for my own sake as someone who might end up dating trannies, who are known to have self esteem issues.
Since you feel like you're shit, do you respect him less for being with you? Might you even have contempt for him for that?
I can handle having to reassure my tranny and such, but if she implicitly thought of me as worse for "putting up with her", that would kinda suck.

>>43295927
no, but I do see him as a little gay, and his behavior certainly doesnt go against this. my lack of respect for his is caused by how he acts. to make your tranny respect you, just show that you are stronger then them in every way. you have to make it look like you put up with them because you are getting something you can't get from a cissie.

>>43295978
>his behavior doesn't go against this
Can you elaborate?
>stronger than them in every way
What are ways your bf doesn't appear to be stronger than you?

I mean physical strength is a no brainer, I don't see how that could even be an issue. What else is there? Like can the tranny not be better at something?

My reason for going for trannies is that I have the impression the correct one will be more loyal and loving than cis girls, and thus be more worth my genuine commitment. Physically, finding the existence of a little dick hot. Higher sex drive. Frequent anal. Don't need to worry about periods or contraception. Likelier to be totally submissive

>>43296187
>gay behavior
he is into designer fashion, Aaaalllmost has a fagcent, I met him pre transition (as a hrt femboy), kinda sensitive, obsessive about grooming and his outfits, likes eating ass, does a gay sport
>how he is weak
always complains about temperature / discomfort, fat/can't lose weight, addicted to junk food, needs caffeine, generally not stoic at all (while I kinda am), needs people to like him, horrible shot, complains about traffic/long travel time etc.
I think at my peak fitness (still post trans) I actually was stronger than him.

obviously you can't be better at everything, but you just need to be mentally stronger and physically ofc.

I think by and large they are going to be much more loyal. When I was weaker and he was stronger, I really felt like I would kms if he left me.
IMO nobody will ever remain totally submissive. Like 24/7 submissiveness is a product of trauma, and living like that will actively cure that trauma, so they will stop wanting it. But you can still have a generally submissive partner permanently.

>>43296187
>My reason for going for trannies is that I have the impression the correct one will be more loyal and loving than cis girls
This isn't true. Loyalty from 95% of trans women solely comes from self esteem issues making them think you're the best they'll be able to get, like OP here. There isn't any actual love or loyalty, just 'settling' dressed up in a fancy bow.
>Physically, finding the existence of a little dick hot.
Many will call you a faggot for this and refuse to date you. Even some who wouldn't will be grossed out simply because they don't want their dick acknowledged at all. Not always, but very commonly.
>Higher sex drive. Frequent anal.
Estrogen use nukes libido for a ton of trans girls, and there's a surprising number who are anal repulsed. Supposedly progesterone counteracts these things but a lot of them are also opposed to that because despite having feminizing qualities they view the return of their libido and desire to take dick it induces as indicative of it being a daterape drug.
>Likelier to be totally submissive
This is true but a lot of that stems from learned helplessness and they'll be dead fish both in domestic situations and in the bedroom.

There's a lot of things about trans women you would rationally think would make them worth dating, maybe even marrying, but a lot of them are just kind of awful and even more neurotic than the most undateable cis woman.

>>43296361
sadly mostly true. Vyleesi is better for libido than prog, but it can only be safely used 1-2 times a week.
I think all LTRs are settling tho

>>43296309
>gay sport
alright, now I'm really curious, but you don't have to divulge it if you don't wanna lmao.
I see. Only thing that applies to me is that I wanna eat my tranny's ass. something I always want with cis women too.
>strength
I see. A lot of those sound like emotional strength and discipline, then.
>mentally stronger and physically
right.
>totally submissive
should have rephrased that. I mostly mean very submissive in a sexual sense, while also respecting my lead generally, but not needing excessive supervision.

>>43296361
>loyalty
hmm. seems fair enough
>little dick and sex drive
that seems to be the case. I must have fucking lucked out initially then. the first and only tranny I dealt with was somewhat okay with her dick, and had a very high sex drive. she was about 2 years on hrt and couldn't get hard. very anal focused.
>submissive
yeah I see your point. I clarified a bit in my other response.
>a lot of trans women are awful
yeah, idk, I don't really consider most of them either. I can handle certain degrees of neuroticism, because I do actually really like being comforting and such.
a big issue for me is just even meeting or finding them. never mind filtering for the right one.
I drop the occasional bait on /lgbt/, but it'll often be someone from a different country
that aforementioned first tranny had good morals too, we had great chemistry, but the relationship that was beginning to form and "feeling seen" sadly was too much for her right now. genuinely saw a future there.

>>43296863
>I can handle certain degrees of neuroticism, because I do actually really like being comforting and such.
>a big issue for me is just even meeting or finding them. never mind filtering for the right one.
Lol. Yeah a lot of people come here feeling like this. I did too. Thought "surely I can handle all the neuroticism in the world so long as we actually connect". But everything I described was from experience. I met a girl, she ticked every single on of my boxes, I started shifting everything in my life to be able to get her to a good place. She was across the country but I was more than willing to get everything set up, and we spent every waking moment together (albiet online) for months. Even though she was timid and neurotic she would say a lot of shit that could only ever be read as caring deeply about me and being excited for the next step.
Then she hung out with a transbian pedophile for 2 days, fucked her behind my back, and told me she "just cares so much" about both of us and couldn't choose. Which, of course, was a complete lie because she wanted to placate me to stick around and give her attention still.
I have watched near identical situations happen to other guys. Trans women are not even that into men most of the time. The vast majority of them view men as a tool to make them feel more feminine, not as actual relationship material. The MOMENT someone they view as even slightly better shows up, they will be GONE, and this is doubly true if they aren't very explicitly into guys and it's a woman showing them attention.

>>43297000
>she hung out with a transbian pedophile for 2 days, fucked her behind my back
jesus im sorry that happened

>>43297000
eh, this is terrible man. sorry to hear this. I personally only consider trannies who are straight or "practically straight", so I guess that should remove THAT particular risk. at least I want someone who is really into men. and since thus far it was people with some daddy issues who I was also going to fulfill a father-like role for, that was kind of a given.
this is of course from my male chaser perspective, but a lot of things to do with transbians just reek. I might even consider being close friends with a bunch of them as a red flag lmao.

>>43297575
>I might even consider being close friends with a bunch of them as a red flag lmao.
fag

>>43297416
Thanks I spose. I've talked about it a bunch cause it's practically all I think about if I'm not distracted by somethin else, but at this point it's kind of sardonically funny to me since it's so cartoonishly fucked up.

>>43297575
>I personally only consider trannies who are straight or "practically straight", so I guess that should remove THAT particular risk.
You'll wanna do this regardless, but you won't find a ton around here. Also they can just lie - some of the ones here do. If you don't post in CG you should know a good number of trips larp being into men to farm attention. None of em would admit to it though.
>a lot of things to do with transbians just reek. I might even consider being close friends with a bunch of them as a red flag lmao.
Also not a terrible idea but it's, I have to admit, not ALL transbians are awful. Just a lot. And even if they were there's just so many that basically any trans girl will inevitably have some for friends cause it's the only trans girls she can interact with.
Good luck I suppose. No one gave me any words of warning so hopefully if nothing else you temper expectations and use a bit more critical thinking than I did.

>>43297974
>any trans girl will inevitably have some for friends cause
just go after the trans girls with no friends at all.

>>43289978
But that anon is also a homosexual. As are you.

>>43298210
If you do this they will leave you the moment they develop any amount of self esteem and someone so much as looks in their direction. Would only work if she's the type to intentionally choose isolation over having shit friends, but that's basically no one. World would be a lot better if anyone actually appreciated when you saw something in them that no one else did, but that just ain't how it works for the vast majority of people.

>>43298333
AVPD trannies are a dime a dozen.

>>43297974
I think anyone should have verrry limited expectations with online relationships, at least until meeting up.

>>43297974
>CG
CG seems like cancer, mostly trips blogposting and attention seeking. I don't know why anyone would care. and being a trip is a massive red flag anyway
Likewise, if you look at /soc/'s catalog, it's just gooner hell. Hard to imagine one will find a gf there.
>only trans girls she can interact with
Yeah, I understand that part. I would like to at least see that she isn't toooo aligned with how they tend to be and that they're decent people at least.

I appreciate the good luck. I suppose I'm already kinda hyper vigilant about some of those things, cause yeah, that's the last thing I want to run into.
When you say you spent every waking moment together online, I had such relationships with cis women, and I don't think it's quite good. First case, I was getting a job, she was somehow bitter about it. Cringe as fuck. The second one also became bitter because I needed some alone time. It's not a good dynamic I think, though I don't know your details and how much time you actually spent. It's probably better to have more of one's own life going on too. I think that might also filter out people who are terminally online and need someone to give them attention at all times.

>>43298443
>>43298210
The problem is you can't find them though, because of the self-isolation. They're unicorns.

>>43299741
Besides AVPD making it so they're likely to nuke the relationship at any moment, this is the biggest thing. I have had to explain to people so many times over that all their advice on meeting a girl - not even trans ones explicitly, any - who is 'my type' is all basically useless because they don't understand that the kind of girls I look for never fucking leave their room, or they're just completely checked out of normal social life. Only way to meet them is completely randomly online and that means they're probably on another fuckin continent or at least across the country.

>>43299794
>and that means they're probably on another fuckin continent or at least across the country.
This isn't really that big of a problem, flights are cheap, the bigger problem is convincing them to meet up with you.
What makes it difficult is just happening upon them, it's entirely up to chance, as you said.

>>43299794
i can't imagine someone with avpd would make a good partner. there's a reason they avoid others

>>43299875
It's just a meme peddled by newfags who don't know anything.

>>43299875
They aren't I am just also mentally ill and a shut-in and while I am not completely socially inept and incapable of dealing with problems, I can only relate to people with similar experiences which basically only includes AVPD people.

I'm a cis dude and my gf is trans.

I love her and I don't want to date anyone else, I don't see her being trans as a downgrade from dating a cis woman. I just want her to be happy.

I assume your bf feels the same way, so don't worry about that.

>>43288376
you should just accept a good thing because in the grand scheme of things EVERYONE deserves better than ANYTHING this gay earth has to offer. nobody realizes how bad things really are.

>>43300111
>EVERYONE deserves better than ANYTHING this gay earth has to offer.
and that includes you OP, which is my point. he isn't good enough for you either. nobody is good enough for anyone. even the best humans are trash. we should all just love each other while we can.