Physically considered a conventionally attractive blonde woman. Primarily androphilic, meta-attracted to feminine women so not even sure if I'm properly bi.Unfortunately can't keep dates because I'm insane and only want to peg men, get extremely neurotic and insecure about my lack of penis/muscle tone and start acting edgy to compensate because my animus froze at the age of 13 as it couldn't be expressed publicly.Since starting college, a repressed transgirl (the most beautiful, physically attractive person I've ever met, and oddly similar to me in weird ways I've never seen before) basically started fucking guys and telling me about it and then I had a pathetic mental breakdown + flunked out of Electrical Engineering. Now I'm homeless temporarily, but have time to contemplate the mistakes that've gotten me here. Being a TERF isn't working, it just makes me bitter and miserable. Turning myself into a Cool Girl makes it worse. My self esteem is too low for FemDom and I get pathetic whenever I pairbond, but in fantasies only get off to the idea of beating men up. Unfortunately, I'm fucking weak and incompetent, physically and emotionally, revealing this sexual fantasy is just embarrassing. The only sexual relations I've physically engaged in have been traditionally heterosexual and effectively transactional as a result.I'm 5'10" and could conceivably pass stealth if I wanted, but compared to real men, I look like a fucking joke, vs compared to woman, I look like a box, and as said before, I like male attention, and being able to do "butch" things as a straight girl brings it on in droves. Also, everyone expects FTMs to do PIV anyway so what's the point. I don't see myself surviving for >5 more years as a woman, but bottom surgery is a complete joke.Posting here is highly pathetic, but since you people consider being pathetic as fembrained doing this just serves my point.Convince me not to be a FTM and to be a TERF instead. Freud was right about penis envy.
bait
>>43289114Everyone I know who was like this (like 3 people, but still) ended up pooning out to some degree. You could try being a TERF but maybe you'll just end up like my mum who is now hrtfemrepping in her 40s
>>43289114Fix your self esteem bruh. Then try pooning if that doesn't work.
>>43289114Have you considered repping and just beating up transbians instead
>>43289114you should poon out ^_^
>>43289114>5'10"Nigga you should poon out immediately. You're clearly not changing your mind and the longer you wait, the more feminine your face and body will get. If you're under 25, the second puberty is going to be brutal. Your whole body will feminize even more. Stop ruminating and get that T. Being 5'10 and whining about your stats is crazy work.>muh muscle toneGuess what gives you muscle tone? Testosterone. >muh penisT dick is better than nothing.
>>43289787Depoon, pooneryour heart compels you to
>>43289114Poon out. It made me so happy! Just use duta after a year to make sure you always look twinky and pretty and non bald
>>4329801> Just take androgens!> And take anti androgens!Come on do you even hear yourself
>>43289798I'm not a pooner.
>>43289809A FTM chaser? Why are you giving out pooning advice
>>43289826Repper.
>>43289114You should transition as punishment for being a TERFI did it and now I feel great
>>43289831Aha! You should keep repping thenIf AMAB you should troon, if AFAB I would suggest waiting it out
>>43289865Funny child. I'm way past 30 so maybe you should listen to me instead of clowning. It WILL get worse. You WILL conclude you fucked up your life. You WILL wish you could go back in time, get on T, get back to uni, and take control of who you are. Don't be like me.
>>43289877As an AMAB I am so glad you gave me the motivation to repAlso shouldn't you be tending to your, motherly duties? You are a matron now, and your kids need you
>>43289951>kidsLmao
>>43289979You know if life isn't looking up you can always set up a family right? Do something different and find purpose in doing something meaningful
>>43289995No way you're over 18.
>>43290007Maybe not, but what is your point? You know that you are dying alone if you don't get your act togetherNothing wrong with being a woman, why are you so distraught over it?
>>43289114you should poon out. bottom dysphoria is better than that + total body dysphoria + society dysphoria + life dysphoriabeing a dickless dude sucks, it does, but it has to be better than living a lie and spending your whole life asking what if? or worse, waiting until you are 40 to poon out when you are uber feminized by two more decades of estrogen, fat ass, stretched out boobs, insanity from repressing. t. mtf who passes mostly as an ugly femcel but will never allow a resisting relationship because of being stuck without a pussy.
>>43289114Get on Anavar + microdose T enough to get the high sex drive and bottom growth then get a bit of muscle while still presenting as normie cisfem and become a deranged femgooner top who gives strap to males voraciously whilst looking like a perhaps athletic normie woman, that's a flavour of person we could do with more of, the contrast is hot, I wish I had been dommed and feminised by someone like thatt. 10 years HRT twinkish trans woman who started out a semi-posh twunk
>>43290038>Maybe notGoodbye.>but what is your pointYou're too inexperienced and generally stupid to participate in this conversation. Just so you'd be able to understand: imagine being told that algebra homework is easy by a kindergartener.
>>43289114Winning the birth sex lottery and then pissing it away is retarded, that is the primary reason to not poon out.
>>43289114genuinely you should poon out
>>43289114you haven't said a lot about what you actually want/feel bad about. either way you can just microdose T and work out while maintaining a female social presence
