so why didnt you start hrt before 20 nona
i grew up southern baptist and didn't know trannies or hrt existed, i wanted to be a woman just thought i was broken
I kept denying the idea of being trans cuz i thought it would change my personality as a kid, also I was just coming to terms with my sexuality
>>43318669I am im just waiting for my vial
I’m very incompetent at life, brain damaged, and probably not even trans
I thought it was just a fetish (it still is)
>>43318669I thought it was a fetish, I thought I could repress forever, I thought it would go away, etc. etc.
Didnt think i was trans because of the narrative of knowing you were a girl growing up
>>43318669thought I wouldn't make it and religious school broke me
>>43318669Because when I was 20 it was 2003. My mum couldn't even get HRT for menopause in 2003 in my cunt. Zoomers will never understand what millenial and Xer trannies have gone through to get the even pathetic levels of GAC we have access to now.
>>43318669Rural town, had no phone or computer, never got to pick what to watch on tv or movies either.
I thought you had to be Thai until I learned about Bailey Jay.
>>43318669I was giving testosterone one final chance to push me into Tanner 4
I'm unwelcome since I'm 18, but after I couldn't lie to myself any longer, my shitty best friend told me to wait to ask my doctor. Glad i started but i never shouldve entertained the health system
>>43318669i started at 19 but im starting to have doubts and thinking about becoming an hrtwink or a manmoder. maybe selfhate and brainworms are clouding my judgement, etc. Ive been super down in the dumps since lowering my antidepressant becuase I thought it wasnt doing anything since i also felt like shit for the prev year.
>>43318823classic
I was a coward and needed my bf to give me a nudge to finally go for it
I did!!!That means im a real wombxynhell f*icking yeah
>>43318669because i learned quickly that being anything but cishet is considered a very bad thing, and i am by nature very indecisive, insecure, unassertive and really, really don't want to create social friction.
>>43318669because the medical system took months to give me hrt and I didn't know about diy because I didn't use tttt back then. I started my transition when I was 20 if that counts for anything :/
>>43318669I was a bit dysphoric when I was younger. I don't mean to belittle anyone's experiences since this was really personal - but I realized I was dysphoric because i couldnt accept that I was just gay (and a bottom), so I must have been a girl because boys cant love boys etc. I ultimately decided to not pursue it because I was at the time living in a muslim country where it wouldn't be possible, but after moving to a more liberal country (where being gay isnt punishable by law) i gradually lost my dysphoria because i could more openly live, eventually coming out of the closet to my family (we're not muslims so it went well)i never really thought I was trans with any degree of 100% certainty, and it really was more a self-esteem and self-hatred thing due to the environment I was in. that and I'm 6'3 and was bulky af from rugby and weightlifting in highschool. anyways blogpost over sorry that i'm not trans :(
>>43318669Im a fucking retard who sissy coped till 20 and then femboy coped until 22 and then nonbinary coped until 24.Then the hard truth i didnt want to admit was revealed. I am a tranny destined to live life on hard mode
Bump
>>43318669I tried to repress which i did until i was 26, its the dumbest thing i've ever done and i regret it so muchI'll never pass now and im stuck being an ugly freak but at least im not getting more masculine
>>43321834
>>43318669but i did though
>>43318669my dysphoria developed into dissociation, self-hatred and AVPD, which made me very scared of opening to others and instead bottled up my feelings. i saw my youngshit years come and go in a fugue suicidal state, too embarassed to tell anybody about it IRL,
I did but it was too late, had to be before 14.
was on risperdal since 5 till 14 for a misdiagnosed case of general classroom tomfoolery typically referred to at the time as attention deficit disorder, got the titties and thighs to prove it.started feeling not right at nights when the stuff would wear off, like i was an other in my own head, made it impossible to do any homework because i was literally not in control of my own self, so i just stumbled through classes and was considered kind of retarded. realized things might be a little fucked up when puberty didn't start in middle school but nobody thought the medication had anything to do with it, this was before the lawsuits over risperdal causing gyno so i don't think anyone really made the connection.had to have surgery to mechanically drop my testicles before any of my dude shit would workspend the next decade and a half battling ingrown hairs tearing up my skin and generally feeling miserable and out of place. all my development was fucked up so i'm not well endowed, have smooth skin and soft light body hair typically. cut to about 25started taking mirifica just to see what it was like, made me feel awesome and i was like yeah, maybe i oughta do this.came out to my momshe initially was supportive, helped me move to the same town as her so we could be close, but then turned on me and said i'd never be beautifulgaslit me about helping me buy a house for 10 years or so, never did, got really depressed and detransitioned slightlymoved away to be with friends, started taking the mirifica againfinally at 36mom invited me back to her house one evening, blew up on me because i annoyed her by calling her repeatedly to help me navigate thru heavy rain and traffic on i-40, tried to have me "committed" when i broke down on my knees crying after being screeched at for an hour after driving for 6, had to fist fight my way out of the house, withdrew my savingsmoved out west with same friends from earliergot on the pills on my 37th b-dayfuck it yolo
>>43318669it was 2013, i was 19 and late going to university so i could try and get a life for myself out of poverty, and the rumours of some weird ukranian making estrogen on their kitchen counter werent exactly inviting. besides, the girls i knew who were on HRT were always girls, and i was just some boy who just wanted to cozy up to men. times were different back then.
>>43319547i feel so bad for early millennial girls desu, and even worse for the gen x ones who just never got the care and are just living in a world that passed on giving them a shot at life.>>43321834understandable>>43323118jesus
>>43318669I tried to around 17 and then the doctor said no to blockers and then I went to the ward and then I moved far away for university cause "it would fix me" and I still broke at 21 Not like I would have passed it was over before it started lol,,
>>43318669Didnt know it was a thing.
>>43318669I didn't want to be a tranny
Got raped at 18 and it took me three years to recover enough to think about transition
>>43318669I thought that I'm an ogre and that trannyism is only accessible to fem looking men
>>43318669I wanted to back in the early 2000s when I found it was a possibility. Then when I first started I was at a religious college and couldn’t, I broke down dropped out started diy but drug and alcohol addiction mixed with years of bad conversion therapy during childhood made me a bad and broken individual that couldn’t come out and then I detransitioned only to come back 4 years later and I kinda wish I would have just killed myself instead when I was like a child and not have the mess that I inhabit now in my mid 30s I just hate everything in my life soo much I hate myself and everybody around me
>>43318669cause i thought i was a femboy and that testosterone would just magically stop doing anything
>>43318669I didn't wanna receive any attention at all for coming out as trans and my family kinda made a medium-sized deal about me being bi, asking why I didn't come out thinking it was because I thought they wouldn't be supportive, when it was because I knew they would be supportive and didn't think it was a big deal.
>>43318669because i’m faketrans and didn’t get infected with the trans mind virus until like 18 and it took 6 yrs after that to come to terms with it
i thought if i pretended to be a man hard enough i would eventually enjoy it. i actually enjoy playing male xharacters in vidya more, now that i've trooned desu
>>43324576oof
