>have hyper specific dating preferences that make it impossible to find anyone I can remotely connect with>meet someone who hits NEARLY EVERY SINGLE THING>they cheat on meThis should genuinely be a crime. I was even their ideal in a shit ton of ways it literally only happened because they're fucking retarded and stubborn. I will never meet someone who's all of that + not a cheater and it's all I can fucking think about. There is no way for me to recover from this, ever, outside of getting exactly what I want, which probably cant even exist. I can't function any more and can barely exist day to day, and if something makes me think of them fondly I get irrationally upset at the fact there isn't a single fucking thing I can do to get the one thing that would make me happy again.
>>43319157what are your preferences?
>>43320694Trying to explain it is like trying to unravel a giant tangled ball because so many things interconnect and inform each other. I've tried to give more overarching explanations but people just come out of it thinking what I'm describing should be really easy to find. I want to be able to show things - movies, music, games, whatever - that are big inspirations to me or which are important to me in some way and have them 'get it' in a similar way to how I do. I have very convoluted views on morality and I abide by my beliefs very strongly, some would say to a neurotic degree. This has led a bunch of different kinds of issues, but while my overall ideals here are almost universally considered 'virtuous', I very rarely meet anyone who sticks to any of it.I have ADHD and maybe autism, as well as a few other mental health problems, and a bunch of bad experiences in the past. This alone causes a massive amount of disconnects with anyone who hasn't had similar experiences or who doesn't have similar problems. Most people I end up meeting online (which has been the ONLY place I have met people who share much in common with me at all) live on the coasts in very different social environments and with significantly more people around them. Trying to explain my issues with socializing invariably results in people thinking I'm just doing it wrong and doubting everything I say about how people here tend to think and act, and there also tends to be a belief that I have way more options than I do. Meeting someone who shares some interests and has the capacity to value them in similar ways or at least grasp the ways in which I like them, who cares about the same problems I do and has a similar desire to try to fix them, who can relate to my experiences and doesn't just dismiss half of what I say because it wasn't what they personally experienced, who is ALSO both attractive to me AND attracted to me, is by all measures basically impossible.
