It seems that every day I come across at something wherein my first thought is that you'd find it funny, or at the very least give you an opening to talk about something you're learned about.
As such, I haven't had it in me to throw out that box just yet, though I know I probably should.
It would probably benefit me also to stop making these posts, for all I am achieving is becoming the recipient of an extended grieving period.
But I digress. As always, I hope that you and your family are warm and well.

>>43323772
Id do anything to forget ever having met you or known you. I fucked up by ever having opened up to you and by getting closer with you. It's my fault for picturing an idea of you i had in my head and not the actual you. ill always hate myself for making these choices and i can for sure promise to myself ill never make them again.

Im actually pretty chill

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I will die a retarded jobless friendless repressed virgin, isolated & shunned from normie society.

sometimes it's not about what they say or do. it's about the security their pressence provides. they don't have to say anything. they don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. sometimes just the fact that they showed up is enough.

people insecure in their relationships feel the need to fill the void with small talk to reaffirm their status, but when you're truly content with someone you can enjoy silence together.

>>43323888
why does this sound so intense

my heart aches when i think about you. maybe we're better off separated, but nothing can fill the void in your absence.
each day is consistently filled with "what-if's" or wishes that i could see you just one more time, but i know its best if not. after all, we bring out the neurotic and darkest parts in each other.
all thats left is to try to move on, but i know i cant move on for a long time. take care <3

these threads used to be less spooky

i’m a repulsive simulacrum of a woman and i always will be. as much as i can build up a narrative and convince myself im really trans, the truth is that this all started with porn. i never would have even considered the possibility if it didnt, first, sexually gratify me.

but then once i actually started the transition process, it didnt seem like so much of a sexual thing, it felt like i was finally becoming comfortable and happy with myself

but now that i’m through to the other side, that period of sexlessness is over and its all pretty clear: i did all of this so i could hook up with other girls with cocks and get to live out my sick fantasies irl

>>43324430
So what. Just do what makes you happy. Who cares

>>43324448
yeah but that means it’s unethical for me to do stuff like use women’s bathrooms. sure this makes me happy but it is incompatible with the rest of society. i should be doing my duty to the world but instead i became a weird creep who makes like harder for real cis women and real transsexual women

>>43324484
Literally who cares. Charity begins at home. Your actions are just not that important in the grand scheme of things & ethics are a spook

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I go to school, talk to my "friends", school is over and I forget about them and they probably forget about me too. I am so goddamn afraid of graduation which I do this friday (Im in high school). After that the only time i will ever see those people again will be when writing the final exam in may. After that its over all the relationships that I formed over these 4 years will be gone in an instant. I had the same thing happen after 8 years of primary school, all my friends gone in a day. I say to myself that they have better friends outside of school and I am the second option (which is true, I have learned about all the things that they have done with their other friends during the summer break while bothering to invite me to hang out with them only when their first option is not available). But the most retarded thing about myself is that I do not come out with the initiaive to hang out first even tho I love to whine about how I have no friends (like now). I also do not have friends online. I had a lot even half a year ago but I just lost the will to play with them out of nowhere. They still write to me sometimes but very rarely like once a week. They must have moved on. My relationship with my family is also quite strange. I think I love them but I dont feel the need to spend time with them (and because of that I think that I am undeserving of their love). But I do have someone that I care about, one can say that I love. Unfortunately its a guy that has a girlfriend. And because of not only my faggotry but also my common sense Im unable to dull myself with any organized religion (specifically catholicism). Whoops! I mostly play hoi4 these days, watch some kino or read (which are great, I love doing these things). I am also writing this in some state of vulnerability, most of the time I gaslight myself into thinking that I dont need any of this and I am better of all by myself but there are these days that I realize just how miserable and pathetic I am.

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>>43326332
is it even reasonable to write about this? people here seem to have bigger issues then muh no friends

>>43326361
muh no friends is a fairly common LGBT issue anon it's okay
but I'm still not reading all that shit (by you) sorry

>>43324137
I ever so badly wish this post was made by my lost love, but at the same time, if it was it's just doubling down on there not ever being a chance to try again, so maybe not. Maybe I'm just wishing that I could hear from her directly again...

>depressed
>swallow all my remaining pills
>really scared and stressed, is this the end?
>feet go numb
>pass out
>later check the doses
>not even the maximum daily dose and it was all conpletely psychosomantic

>>43324399
No seriously it always feels like it could be about me who are you people did i knoe you

These are always hard to read I find myself fearing them to be about me or hoping they're the words I always wished had been said to me by those I lost

>>43323772
i hate the world and want it to end

>>43324137
this sounds scarily like something my ex would write
luckily they are way too woke to use 4chan so I dont have to worry

My girlfriend is so immature it genuinely makes me a little bit uncomfortable sometimes she'll laugh at like reddit femboy youtube shorts memes and I like genuinely feel like a pedophile for ever having sex with her even though shes literally less then a few months younger then me lmao

I'm sorry for what I did T. (Or M.). I don't plan to trouble anyone for much longer. I want to get better. It just seems unlikely. I do love you, and I'm sorry I failed you.

J.

my best friend sometimes starts kissing and groping me while shes still basically asleep (we sleep in the same bed and cuddle and stuff) and i engage with it despite her telling me she feels ashamed of it and doesnt wanna do it. sometimes she evens cums or makes me cum while she is still half asleep and while i would rather just have normal sex with her again like we used to in the past, this is the best im gonna get :(

I don’t know if I can make the week until I plan to commit(I want to give a youngshit I know my dose of HRT). I’ve been holding off on buying the shotgun until the last second because I know I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge.

Every year I look back and wish I had gone through with it the year prior. This is it.

>>43328029
You and me both, pal

>>43323772
I honestly never expected you'd be a coward. I'm starting to think you're not a nice person, after all.

>>43323772
I didn't mean you any harm, but I'm a severely mentally ill person who's been suicidal for a long time. I only want you to be happy and moving up in life, not tied down with someone miserable and sad and probably not going to be here long.

>>43323772
Fuck you.

>>43331286
S.D?

Longer rambly post. Sorry, don't read it.

I don't fit in with any queer demographic meaningfully enough to be wanted and have no sense of self outside of my hobbies. I feel undesirable and have become prone to crying fits whenever I think too long on it; I don't think I'm asexual but I've become indifferent to it.

I hurt a friend I'd hooked up with this way. I had brought a new friend I'd met at a convention to a hotel we shared for the week; I'd cuddled with the new person for a few hours before I had to return home. His reaction made me feel like I'd done something wrong by not fucking him. We weren't dating, infact at this point he'd had a boyfriend, and was mad at me for not fucking him and instead cuddling this person. Apparently he'd been blue balled by a few other people he'd planned to hookup with and I was option 3. I felt disgusted, this was someone who had been the one queer connection I had before he moved away, and he had the nerve to get upset with me over this.

>>43323772
I'm a complete fag with a boyfriend but my guilty pleasure fap is to the thought of a girl jerking me off. Would never date a foid though.

>>43331182
they need to make a confess gen where you have to put the first letter of your name or something Idk if my heart can take this

>>43328046
maybe i am! maybe im just watching u at all times :)
i doubt ur the person im talking abt cuz she doesnt like 4chan and doesnt ever go on here

I think we need to break up. I love you so much but Im not sure you love me anymore. We dont have sex anymore. You say you are asexual but we used to make love all the time. Is it not because my body has changed? You said you loved watching me become a woman. But my body is not like yours. I dont have perfect perky tits like you. Im not short and petite im tall and wide. You let me see other people to try to sate my appetite. Its so understanding of you. You are so understanding and its why i could never leave you. Even if I found another partner I dont think they would treat me with nearly as much love and respect that you do. Deep down i dont think i deserve a relationship as kind as ours.

You put up with me through all of it. All my hard nights and dysphoria and mental illness. And you say you love me. And i believe it.

But I also want someone who wants me. Desires me. Someone who can unravel the secrets of the universe with me. Someone who with wax philosophic with me. I want a boyfriend so badly. Ive never had one. And for now you are allowing me to have fwb fake boyfriends. But i want more. I want to be someone’s. I want to be a woman to a man. I want someone who will cuddle me and tell me I look beautiful. And although you are understanding you cant do that for me. Not anymore

Im sorry I wish i could’ve been exactly what you wanted. Lord knows you deserve it. And I deserve less

>>43329091
wish these were about me

for real

why dont you write to me?

>>43334019
It would prove much more effective to ask them directly if possible then to hope for their response on here anon.

I'm taking a diy HRT concoction right under the nose of my partner. Figured I'll just lean into it for a bit and hope they dont notice.

>>43334063
maybe

>>43323772
so, you moved here a few days ago. you were really touchy. i think it broke something in me... well, let's be honest, i think not seeing you for four years broke something in me before that. it's weird both being girls now. i remember wishing we were sisters when i was eight and you were twelve. please don't let me sleep next to you again, it'll only make everything hurt worse. i don't think normal sisters even do that. maybe you want me like i want you. i hope we don't act on it. maybe i should stop seeing you, but i don't want to cut you off. i missed you so fucking much. you smell different, now. you look ethereally pretty. i wish i could say that to you without it being weird. maybe i'll get drunk sometime and tell you everything. i hope i don't. i hope you like the necklace i made you. please don't start dating someone, i think i would want to die if you did that

>>43323772
T horny brain is real. More transfems should be interested in sex primarily. I am so fucking tired of romance bullshit. I think about abusing my ex every time I jerk off. I wish she wasn't a weak piece of shit who couldn't handle being choked. I need to find someone to tear apart soon or I'll go nuts.

I sometimes think about being a gay boy and reminisce by thinking about all of the gay porn I watched as a horny teen. I often find myself vising /y/ and /hm/ and it's the only way I've been able to get an erection on HRT to remember what it was like to stroke it to hot boys on the internet again.

>>43331286
you should let people choose for themselves and not choose for them like a total control freak. it’s manipulation and it’s unfair to both of you

>>43334019
>>43334063
This. Write them first, like a mature person. Dating app mentality and retarded mindgames/ghosting are ruining young people nowadays. Zero emotional intelligence.

>>43334019
no means to contact

>>43334714
that post wasn’t for you then

>>43334767
just having some fun don't get your knickers in a twist

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I desperately need a purpose. I want to fight & sacrifice for something greater than myself.

>>43323772
I still miss you line.

>>43326332
I’m in the exact same boat as you. My only way of coping with losing all of my shallow friendships in a week is telling myself I’ll meet more like-minded people when I move out of this shithole for college, but being a insecure fag doesn’t really help with making new friends. I suppose knowing someone somewhere out there is in the exact spot as me is somewhat comforting. We’re (hopefully) going to make it nona.

>>43323772
I miss them, I wish I knew what was going on with them, but at the same time I don't.

>>43334944
join the IDF

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>>43337873
never anon!

SS MASCHIERT IM FEINDESLAND
UND SINGT EIN TEUFELSLIED
EIN SCHÜTZE STEHT AM WOLGASTRAND
UND LEISE SUMMT ER MIT
WIR PFEIFEN AUF UNTEN UND OBEN
UND UNS KANN DIE GANZE WELT
VERFLUCHEN ODER AUCH LOBEN
GRAD WIE ES IHNEN GEFÄLLT

WO WIR SIND DA GEHTS IMMER VORWÄRTS
UND DER TEUFEL DER LACHT NOCH DAZU! HAHAHAHAHA
WIR KÄMPFEN FÜR DEUTSCHLAND, WIR KÄMPFEN FÜR HITLER
DER ROTE KOMMT NIMMER ZUR RUH!

>>43323772
cheated on last partner, don’t regret it

I was born M and I've been identifying as queer and nonbinary for two years. My partner is transmasc. I really don't think I like men very much, but my partner has been leaning into gay culture. I want to figure out how to be attracted to dudes and it doesn't make me uncomfortable, but it just doesn't turn me on. We've been together for more than 10 years and we're considering getting married but this scares me quite a bit. I truly don't know how to handle this but more and more it's becoming clear that I'm only attracted to fem people. I like trans girls, but am largely unattracted to trans men, which further validates my anxieties.

>>43334019
With how quickly and harshly you ended things, I rightfully assume you don't want to hear from me for a long while.

>>43323772
Egotistical, self centered CUNT

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>>43323772
oh god the eternal father, I ask thee in the name of thy son jesus christ to bless and sanctify these hons, boymoders, and anything beyond or between, lest they be reppers in which they will be driven to hell. may god protect and save all those who are brave enough to accept your true words and transition so that they may be saved, amen

Fumbling you is my biggest regret.

I'm amazed at my lack of self awareness sometimes. How easily I slip into familiar patterns

i don't feel this hopeless for years. i shouldn't be in uni, i just got lucky and now my life is gonna become the misery cycle again. even if i finally started my transition, it ain't gonna fix anything that weights me now
i hate people, i hate those who made me hurt. i hate my brain because i am too slow to live in society. i hate my trauma coping personality. and i still hate my body and always will, i'm never going to get pretty
why can't i just end my bucket list and kill myself soon, why must i keep suffering like this?

I wish you'd talk to me. I'm not even sure you consider me a friend and I doubt you'd ever consider me anything more. You do things that seem like you want someone to notice, but when I come to you then, you just wall up again. I understand, I think we're both scared of similar things, but even if it's not a change for me, you'll never be able to get close to anyone like this. I'm sorry people have hurt you and I hope you can get close to someone again like you want. Even if it's not me

>>43323772
early june. i've said similar things and chickened out of them before but this time feels different. like there's a lower temperature and a cool breeze in my head.

FUck you Ashley G. Fuck you you fucking bitch. Cockblocked by jesus. All you had to do was not be the scared little white woman from FL and TX, and just jump. I would've caught you. I would have told you that everything would be okay. That' I'd wait for you. You just had to fucking jump.

And what did you do? You reproted me for harassment. Two texts and a voicemail across 9 months is not harassment. Fucking coward. Fucking Emmett Til. Fucking Curley's Wife.

And what happened? Everyone believed you. The Director went straight to No Contact with ZERO fact finding or due process. Fucking frat bros in Title 9 get due process. Trump and Epstein gets due process. Did I get it? No. My own fucking parents sided with some sad white woman they'd never met over their own child. Believe Women. Yeah right. What kind. What color. Fuck you.

It's been like 14 months now. I missed a week of work. My therapist said this was Capital T trauma. I, I of all people, do not need more fucking trauma in my fucking life. Fuck you. I was feeling scarcity. You were feeling scared. Jen just pulled the fucking trigger when you panicked. Little scared girl running to get the real adults to solve her problem for her. Fuck you bitch. Literally the only, THE ONLY, people who fucking said "That's fucked up." were my cis het white male high school teammates. All my white woman friends just said "Oh that's hard" and nothing else. I became a fucking paraih. Anything you said, your word would have been law. If I had been arrested I would have killed myself. We spent any, any amount of time together alone, you could have said anything. Fuck you bitch. I still hate you. I want to move on. I want to heal. But bitch you scarred me real fucking deep. I'm still fucking healing from this. Fuck you.

>>43342769
This was disparate treatment. If our identities had been reversed, if I had been the little sad white woman who got too emotional and vulnerable, would any of the fucking shit have happened like it did? fucking no. Learn your fucking privilige bitch. I could report this to NJ DCR and fucking end that whole org.

I want to fucking nuke the whole thing. Email all the bullshit to everyone. Fucking reverse pariah you. I know it'd be a crash out, and I know it would just re-open the cuts that I've tried to hard to heal. But mother fucking bitch learn your fucking power. I try so hard in my fucking life and career to be taken seriously. And you just waltz in with a midnight email and take it all away. I've been trying so hard to heal. But bitch why. All you had to do was jump. You weren't ready. That's okay. I would have been there. Fuck you.

Why did I open this website. Now I'm just mad again.

if i werent so insecure, obsessive, and possessive, i would’ve loved to be your friend

I know that the post above could never refer to me because I'm unlovable beyond what I can produce for others

>>43342812
it’s likely. i have only ever added a handful of people from here and only one person has stayed long enough for me to become attached to them

I hide behind a layer of irony irl, but my antisemitism is genuine

I know you feel a similar way. Your girlfriend has told me you've been waiting for me to make a move. You wont see this but im so mad all the time at how much of a coward I am, how even when we sit with zero room between us watching movies on your couch im too scared to actually reach my arm around you. I notice the looks, how odd it gets when we're alone maybe thats just me but I dont think it is. I was so scared things would just go back to the way things were after we tripped and talked about it and they kinda have. I wish you would just say something, I wish I could even begin to accept truly just how it feels.

>>43342806
Is it too late to be their friend? Is it over?

i would probably like to do sexual stuff with you as friends
it doesn’t have to turn into anything or mean anything deeper but we could have the stuff we’re both missing at least for those moments
you make my stomach get butterflies

>>43323888
I love that my girl and I truly know each other and nothing will ever change that. We are more connected and our love is true. We are so much stronger than the demoralization and attempts at sabotage

>>43323948
Absolutely and my moon and I will have this when we are home with each other again

>>43327689
Teasing me

>>43329120
How my moon is with me when she's moves in with me

>>43343903
giwtwm

>>43329120
>My best friend sometimes starts kissing and groping me while I'm still basically asleep (we sleep in the same bed and cuddle and stuff) and I have no choice but to engage with it. sometimes she makes me cum while I am still half asleep and while i would rather just have normal sex with her again like we used to in the past, this is the best im gonna get :(

I wish you didn't want my body more than you want to talk to me or spend time with me, I know the expectation that you would was unrealistic but I was really hoping you'd want me for more than just that

>>43333667
Here is her dream come true version:

>I'm so happy to be yours. I love you so much and your love for me feels so good. Sex is different with us now. There's times where you just want to spend time together as besties so you tell me you are asexual,aromantic. We still make love all the time. Obviously its different because my body has changed. You loved watching me become a girl for you and how my body shaped similar to yours but even prettier. You live my perfect perky tits. I was already skinny and your height but I've definitely shrunk in height and you are taller than me now. I'm so petite.

>You keep making me go out on dates with men. I keep telling you I'm not gay and you urge me to not even think about it and just do what you say, think what you say, climb on him and touch him, rub against him, kiss him like you say.

>>43344077
>You keep telling me I need a man to satiate my appetite. I keep trying to tell you I only want you, only need you but you assure me that I am doing this for you because it's what makes you happy. You understand and know me more than I know myself. i could never leave you. With what you've done to me, you smile when you remind me that you physically ruined me for being with another girl and that I am permanently physicaly incompatibility to even attempt to be a girl's boyfriend, physically impossible to be seen as a man, she only would see me as a girl that could be her friend and paint each other's nails and sleepover gushing over hot guys we have crushes on and incapable to be seen as a real man, now physically impossible to physically provide for his girlfriend.

>And now with all the strong dominant men you have me date, even if I found another partner I dont think they would treat me with nearly as much love and respect that you do. Though you would love to be with me as you command , guide, and comfort me at night when he's in our bed and I'm being held into him with his muscular arms

>>43323888
>Id do anything to forget ever having met you or known you. I fucked up by ever having opened up to you and by getting closer with you
Relatable

It's Thursday... Don't leave your Thursday meds for too long if you haven't taken them already.

>>43344081
>I love that We are there for each other no matter what. I know I will do anything for you and that's why Even after I found out what you were doing and it was too late to even turn back I accepted and fell into it with you. Even if the ways in which you do it to me completely mentally and physically broke me. You say you love me. I believe it. Because I love you too
>But I need to confess something to you, I have been having these thoughts lately, like really strong thoughts. I think you've been whispering to me in my my sleep again. I Have this craving for someone who wants me, Desires me. Someone who can unravel the secrets of the universe with me. You are this person with me but for some reason I have this overwhelming need for another. A man. This urge and yearning feeling like I want a boyfriend so badly. Obviously Ive never had one (because I'm not gay) but it's become so regular with all the guys you are having me see. Which I know that it's not gay because you explained to me doing this is just like an erp date I'm doing for you and so anything that You have me do or make me feel that happens during it didn't actually really happen. It's just practice You tell me which I'm pretty sure is just part of the erp. It's just that You've been having me erp for/with you basically all the time now, more so than when I'm not.... I don't know why I'm having this feeling, honestly I really do hate it, But there's this part of me that wants more. I want to be someone’s, someones who will cuddle me and tell me I look beautiful as I am pressed against his chest looking up into his eyes as he leans down and kisses me. It feels fucking disgusting to say, but this part of me that I can't ignore, handle tells me I'm his girl and he's my man.

>>43344081
>I know that every night in bed you hold me and kiss me, All through the night. It's just that somehow I feel like that's changed, not in what you do, but how I feel about it. I don't know if it's with what you've been doing But I have these needs that I just don't feel like you are fulfilling for me. And at the same time whenever you push me a certain way suddenly I'm back to before with you, only you, all of you, just as you claim all of me in this physical strong love of ours as you take me in every way you want.

>You made me into exactly what you wanted, into the lesser sex, your girlfriend, incapable of doing anything I would have done to you before, but completely vulnerable and taken by you to be made to be everything you would have been to me. Our love means everything. And I do anything and everything to make you happy.

>Lord knows you deserve it.

>>43334171
Her dream come true version
>When you moved here, you were really touchy. i think it broke something in me... well, let's be honest, i think not seeing you for four years broke something in me before that. it's weird how willing I am now to do anything and everything you tell me to. Even with how you treat me now. Like your girl. Not just girls, but like I'm your little sister. The way you talk to me, the way you treat me. How you twist How we are with each other like from how we Shared our bed as bf/gf and now you make me sleep next to you so I don't have nightmares and wake up crying again. The way you are with me, I know it's not good for me and it is making everything hurt worse. i don't think normal sisters even do the things you have me do with you. Let that part of me that broke over those years, I'm vulnerable to your needs. maybe you want me like i want you. i hope we don't act on So many different things and then I always find that you are doing them to me. I'm unable to stop or say no, and even when I do you are stronger than me physically and make me anyway. Force me to feel that pleasure doing something I don't want to do. Overall those years i missed you so fucking much. i hope you like the necklace i made you. It means a lot to me that you wear it and kiss me thanking me for it on the forehead, on the cheek, on the lips. I don't feel like I should have to say this and I know that we are dating, well I think that we are still dating, It's just that I'm me with you in a certain way that you want me to be as your little sister. I just have this feeling that I need to ask you please don't start dating someone, i think i would want to die if you did that

>>43342270
Her dream come true version

>You know you can talk to me. you are my best friend and more :) I noticed when you do things that seem like you want me to notice, but when I come to you then, you just wall up again. I understand, I think we're both scared of similar things, but You should know that I am yours just as you are mine in this way that you'll never be able to get close to anyone else like this. I'm sorry people have hurt you and I know that with us everything will be okay. I love you

>>43342806
You needed to just be more dominant and firm in person with them keeping them, shaping them and reminding them of their place. Use you sexuality with them/to them while shaping. Line honey

>>43343642
Be present and spend time together. Dont start with ultimatums. Guide into it

>>43343927
I'm not gay tho...

I hope you at least hate me or think about me after cutting contact it would be nice to know i exist in the minds of others in any form at all and that you haven't just forgotten completely after everything, I think id rather you hate me then forget just so I know i had some presence