Hey guys, I want to leave this world soon. My plan was to block every single hole in my bathroom that would provide ventilation, leave hot water running in the sink, take a lot of sleepy pills, lay in the bathtub and wait for CO poisoning (my house heating is gas, and heater is in the bathroom). Do you think that would work? Im ftm, i hate myself and my life, if that helps. I have nothing to live for.
you're gonna be there like six hours lowball
>>43337922Do you live with others? because this seems really inconvenient for them. How is your transition going?
>>43337922You shouldn't kill yourself but this is so incredibly inefficient you'll probably get bored and cry and leave.
>man>doesnt know about home depot>doesnt know you can buy ropes at home depotdoesnt pass
>>43337922Committing suicide without bringing others down with you is fembrained, anon. Do you have a firearm and easy access to a supermarket or perhaps a politician?
>>43338002With my mom, I wanted to do this after she goes to work. I live stealth as a man, on T, legal name and gender mark change, post top surgery, but my life still fucking sucks. I feel more comfortable but it didn't fix my unhappiness. Ive been depressed since I could remember, I can't do this anymore.
>>43338051No, i dont live in the us.
>>43337922you could probably sleep in a bathroom for 12 hours and you wouldnt die from co2 poisoning.lit some charcoal that would make you go a lot faster (a lot of people does this inside cars in japan)
>>43338017That's what the pills are for, i go to sleep and never wake up.
>>43338109Ive would have done it years ago if getting a gun wasnt so controlled and restricted in my country.
>>43337922Don't opt out, why do you hate your life? Aren't you redesigning it from the ground up? What's there to hate?If you don't like being a boy stop it, being a boy sucks. If you don't like being a girl you already took steps. If you hate both get a fur suit, identify as a fox or something. If you want to be a boy, go to the gym, if you're done being a boy go to ultra or something. You can always find something. If this is loneliness stop hooking up on grindr or tinder and specify dates only. Don't sleep with them till at least the 3rd date.
>>43338102Glad you’re more comfortable. I don’t know what your relationship is like with your mom but you would be hogging the bathroom, she’d also probably find your body which would suck, and if she can’t afford another place to live she’d be stuck using the bathroom you died in. I think whatever your current state is now is less of a burden than that.What’s going on with your life that makes it so shitty?
>>43338121Thanks you.
>>43337922Don't kill yourself. There is literally nothing worse than finding a loved one dead.
>>43338163She can afford to move ou, I love her but I know that im a burden to her. It will be best for her if im gone, she could start her life again.
>>43338184This.Never kill yourself where someone you know will find you. You are already doing g them a dis-service, make it easier on your mom and take this as far away from your house as possible. Drive, walk, or Uber out of city limits.
>>43338203She will never move on. My friends mother drunk herself to death after finding her sister. You underestimate your value to her. You are her baby, you will always be her baby. She will never get over you, she will never be able to move on.
>>43338203Not trying to guilt you out, but I think you're overestimating a parent's ability to "start their life again" after finding their own child's dead body...
Give me your money.
>>43338203Never in my life I had been happy, only brief good moments. I tried to suffocate myself under my sheets when I was in kindergarden but clearly that didnt work because I was a stupid child. Still, the thought of leaving is always with me. My childhood has been hell, bullied relentlessly, never understood why, i tried to be kind so badly, my father was abusive, when I was pre T, a lesbian years older than me taken advantage of me sexually because I was a lonely trans kid. I spend hours in therapy, with doctors, went to court (required in my country) to transition medically and legally, I thought that I maybe could fit into the normal society, I made some friends. But it gradually got worse, and worse. I realized that I cannot fit with the others, something will always be off, my dream career turned out to be impossible for me. I'm a burden to everyone, because im mentally ill. I have no purpose and no pleasure in life. I know that some people have it worse, but its like Ive been born with the chronic inability to be happy. Whats the point? Why should I continue to live as a shell of a person.
>>43338167charcoal probably wont work and i think it will just fuck up your house.
>>43338203You are so fucking retarded. She will never move on. She will be thinking about your death every day for hours. I've seen this happen to my grandma after uncle (her son) committed suicide. She spent the next twenty years of her life thinking about him. It fucking poisoned her every waking moment.>>43338318>can't fit and don't know what's wrongYou're autistic. You will never fit but you can live a good life by doing the things that make you feel content. Whatever those things are, it's time to focus on them. If you're stealth, you are clearly "gonna make it" material.
>>43338224But someone will find me anyway, I don't want to inconvinience some rando. My mom will find out in either case.
>>43338411anon, go tell your mom you're feeling suicidal and can't think clearly. because this is exactly what's going on here right now.
>>43337922you shouldn't kill yourself anonbut if you did kill yourself please make it something fast and funthrow yourself out of a window, it's both
>>43338441This, you need help, now.
>>43338153who are you, why are you giving good advice, you should be a fucking loser like us
>>43338405Nothing makes me content, I live in constant stress, transition has helped me sorta but since I am stealth I spend every waking moment stressing about how other people percieve me, did they clock me, do they think im a ugly manlet or a hairy woman, or if I read as gay, if yes to any of these questions, could I be in danger because of it? I have hobbies but they don't do anything to me, like I do then out of boredom and loneliness, not because they give me pleasure.
>>43338459I was like this before, but nothing ever helped me, just delayed the inavitable.
>>43338491have you had any psychiatric interventions before?
>>43338491I agree with the anons who are saying your brain is just fucking with you right now. You’re objectively not a burden if you’re not worried about your mom’s financial status (even if you were you shouldn’t off yourself because then you’d be making it worse), and you clearly have things that do interest you if you had a dream job. What was your dream job?
>>43338529Yes, paramedics took me to a childs psychiatric hospital, threw up in the car, waited there for several hours in the night, they told me that I might have aspergers and to fuck off and we went home. On meds for around 9 years, On and off therapy.
if you're intent on leaving your mum distraught that you're gone anyway, jump on a train, or a plane, or hitch a ride or anythinggo somewhere new where nobody knows you and start again somewhere. be a foreigner somewhere, you'll look like every other foreign guy with a funny accent to them.
>>43338576you should probably try talking to a psychiatrist or therapist again. and changing/talking about different meds. you might have some other shit going on. you can always kill yourself a year or two from now, but it's a decision you can't come back from that will permanently destroy other people's lives, so you ought to try everything else first.
>>43338530I wanted to be a graphic designer and an illustrator, i have a degree for it. It means nothing now, no one will hire me in the rise of AI. Probably the same problem in other countries, but here it gets harder to get a decent job not in your field if you have any degrees. I am a university student for now, didn't look for a job yet because I get child support money for it from my father and its enough. Even like not doing it for the money, ive been burnt out for years, i hardly ever create something now, even if thats something that Ive liked to do. Its hard for me to even get out of bed now.
>>43338656I changed meds recently, i go to a therapist twice a month because I can't afford more sessions.
>>43338714well it seems like the meds aren't working as intended, should probably talk to someone about that. im not saying this from a place of callousness, i was in your position until two years ago. i found some meds that worked and i am comfortable i guess. most days are still hard but i honestly havent thought of ending it in quite a few months.
>>43338473I'm just a Bi-dad just here to give dad advice.
OP doesn't actually plan on killing herself, by the way.Women are known for throwing histrionic fits over anything, threatening and/or speaking about suicidal ideation is just one of the many cards they pull. A man at his breaking point doesn't go attention whoring online to talk about "sleepy pills" for a plan that'd fail if wasn't all a lie anyway.The miserable people on this board that have actual reasons to be suicidal are unfortunately drowned out by sluts like this and it's just another example of the female species being a constant plague on society.
>>43337922Try to find someone drastic to do that ISN'T that you can focus on. Make a crazy lifestyle change, find that one spot of field you're gonna obsessedly track the flower growth on, start taking walks at 1 AM for the lolz
>>43338411Anon, I found my mom after she did something like this. It is extremely different from just hearing about it later from someone else. I can still see it with absolute clarity, because is an image I will literally never forget for the rest of my life.You shouldn’t kill yourself. If you must, at least have the decency to not multiply the trauma inflicted on the people you love—do it elsewhere. Strangers who find you won’t give a fuck.
>>43337922>look at me everyone! give me attention! hey hey im gonna kill myself give me attention!doesnt pass
>>43338102yeah actually please do it only gigapooners deserve to be miserable passoids like you should just fuck off if they're gonna be fucking whiny bitches
>>43341705he passes tho that makes me mad as a sad miserable pooner
>>43337922Can you date me and be my daddy.
>>43341831Both of you are Cluster B women.
>>43341797Being a passoid doesnt mean that I look like a true man, im still a really ugly manlet.
>>43341021I guess, I am really lonely, I have no one to talk to, only a therapist that I meet every two weeks. I never attempted because I'm scared that something won't work and ill become a cripple. I hear all the time about people dying because of accidental CO poisoning, I thought that its a fairly easy way to go out, wanted to ask for some advice. I mentioned that Im ftm because I thought that it will push people to actually give me advice, since so many people here hate people like me, I hate myself too.
>>43341021Well if you don't believe me about "sleepy pills", its called trittico and i have it on me right now, actually works, unlike melatonin.
>>43337922i logically know i don't look anything like picrel but i feel like i do. anyway dont kys bro talk to a doctor
i don't know you, but I hope you don't kill yourselfit took me a very long time to become even happy just sometimes but I'm really glad I didn't kill myself when I was where you are now
No lmao
