>start e a few months ago because of emasculation fetish>do not become girl or sissy like in anyway>still attracted to other trans girls>go out with cis friends every other night and have the time of my life>come back home get a little drunk and flirt with trans girls on twitter burner>they never flirt back with me >get ultra horny at the idea of being alone foreverAll things considered, I think I'm doing pretty well for myself.
>>43357635>get ultra horny at the idea of being alone foreverwhat?
>>43357635Sorry I said "other trans girls" here that was a typo. What I meant was >still obsessed with online trannies who will never pay attention to me.I've now realized I'm more of an agamp femboy trying hard to not let his lust get the better of him
>>43357644I think like since maybe dysphoria appeared I get this really weird ping of electricity through my body when I tell myself bad stuff like "I'm never going to have a wife I'm never going to find a relationship I'm going to die alone" or anything extremely depressing it sort of shoots through my body. It's not necessarily a horny feeling but it's definitely some form of arousal or excitement.
>>43357681better than liking poop i guess
>>43357681I think that’s called pain OP and it’s not really supposed to make you horny
>>43357713There's a pretty good book I think you should read. It's called "Venus in Furs" and it's by a guy called Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
>>43357713It's not pain, I know what pain feels like. It's not a bad feeling. It's a pretty satisfying feeling.
>everything's coming up milhouse
>>43357811When my dad was 35 he drove a Vauxhall Vectra, worked as a ticket inspector and lost a house in a divorce. At 35 I ride a bicycle, am NEET but have my own flat. I honestly don't know who did better. I'd say him if he hadn't fucked it up at the end. He got sacked as well and fled to some third-world country where property is cheaper
>>43358852>When my dad was 35 he drove a Vauxhall Vectra, worked as a ticket inspector and lost a house in a divorce.save this for the opener of your autobiography. it's a good hook
>>43358868Are you being facetious?
>>43359090i mean, i think it's a good hook, bc i'm immediately wondering why you would start your autobiography by talking about your father at 35. but then you would make the comparison clear. although, i would be mindful of cellini's advice, and refrain from such a project until your 45th year of age, at least
>>43359122This is a level of roasting that I am not yet able to comprehend.
>>43359318even if it were a novel, i would be interested in the protagonist, if this were the opening line. it has form, it has drama, it has difference, it has specificity. i am genuinely not trying to roast you
>>43357681i get this same exact thing with the same triggers but it can be either dull / mild or extremely painful for me. i think its the vagus nerve. its hard to find info on. estradiol makes it go away though and the only other thing that helped was ssris but they only dulled it. SERMs make it worse so i think its estrogen related. idk how you dont consider it painful though. for me its a mental / psychosomatic sensation that could be worse than physical pain when it was intense
>>43359367Sometimes I do this autistic thing where I get super serious about some random detail and people think I'm making fun of them. If this is what happened, thanks anon, if I ever write an autobiography I'll consider your suggestions.
>>43359655yes, i also hyperfixate and give inappropriately detailed responses. ty for understanding
>>43359392>vagus nerveIts painful for you though? For me theres absolutely no pain at all. If anything its like pleasure.
>>43357681Wow I think the same thing happens to me. So I do SW and whenever I get depressed and think I'm going to be servicing men for the rest of my life I get that same feeling. Wonder if there is a name for it?
>>43357681>>43359392>>43359730doomersexuality
>>43359730I wish I could take you out on a date, because I feel like if I was in your situation I could relate wholeheartedly. I've never found out what this feeling is but it seems to be at the core of my sexuality and maybe even my life. It beckons me to get worse forever. I would relate it to degradation fantasies but it feels even above that, + typical degradation stuff doesn't really do that much for me. >>43359769Probably a better way of looking at it.
>>43357635I get it, you have masochistic fantasies of being ignored by your desires, good for you, anon.
mentally ill boardmentally ill website
>>43359841I'm not interested in actually being actively degraded either, I suppose that it's the internal feeling of being worthless. If someone tells me I'm worthless or treats me like I am that doesn't do anything for me, I have to feel it from within. You seem like a cool person. You feel things others don't even understand. Furthermore, you embrace it instead of fighting it. Perhaps I should as well. It's the only part of my sex drive that still lives.
>>43359728on e now but before at its worst i'd be writhing in pain in fetal positionfeeling like heart and soul were severedfeeling like billions of years of ancestors pain at oncethe pain was starting to migrate from my heart to my throat and jaw it would make me salivate in painthankfully e helps
