>>43368717
>cheap ffs

>>43368747
15k for QQ is dirt cheap, if you can't afford that you're probably too young to be trans or have your priorities all wrong.

>>43368717
if youre sure you wanna be a girl at the age of 12 you should probably get a hobby

>>43368758
Then give it to me if it's so cheap

>>43368797
If you marry me maybe!

because boymoding isnt about not being feminine or passing, its about not having the self confidence to assert your identity in public. they think that there will magically come a time when they feel that they are authentically a woman but feeling you are authentically a woman can only come from living as one, not looking like one. because they choose not to live as a woman they dont feel like their identity is legitimate and dont have the confidence to be one in public. if they had that confidence they would have been honmoding before FFS. thats why you should be honmoding as soon as possible or you'll end up one of those people 10+ yrs into their "transition" never actually socially transitioning.

>>43369248
>you'll end up one of those people 10+ yrs into their "transition" never actually socially transitioning.
This is me but I don't know how to ever fix it what does it even mean to transition

>>43368717
I'm just nb

>>43368877
Only if you like brown short woman that dont pass at all

>>43369248
>they think that there will magically come a time when they feel that they are authentically a woman
I believe the complete opposite actually.

>>43369424
assuming youre a trans woman because this thread was about boymoding, do you still use a masculine name? do you tell people you're a boy or your pronouns are he/him? do you wear only masculine clothing? do you avoid wearing make up? do you date as a man, or avoid dating entirely? do you get your nails done? do you have a masculine hair cut? do you use the mens bathroom? do you shave your body hair? does your family know? do your friends know? have you legally changed your name and gender markers if possible? have you voice trained? those are all things that I would consider changing as part of a social transition.

if you never go out in public presenting as a woman, maybe you can try going out to a park or on a walk with some friends, or somewhere where you can easily leave if you feel too uncomfortable but is public and isnt a strictly trans friendly space. then maybe go out to eat at a restaurant somewhere presenting as a woman. you have to rip the bandaid off and see that the sky isnt going to come crashing down if you want to live as a woman. its going to feel uncomfortable at first but you have to confront that because theres no other way through it. I could understand if you maybe havent done any laser and have a visible beard shadow or havent taken any HRT, but if you no longer have a beard and have been on HRT for years theres probably not going to be a point where you feel like its right to socially transition so you just have to take the leap of faith and do it

>>43369491
I love brown girls

>>43369492
you believe there will come a time where youre authentically not a woman?

>>43369549
>do you still use a masculine name?
At work and with family yeah
>do you tell people you're a boy or your pronouns are he/him?
Yeah
>do you wear only masculine clothing?
Yeah
>do you avoid wearing make up?
I've never tried
>do you date as a man, or avoid dating entirely?
Avoid... I don't pass so it wouldn't be healthy
>do you get your nails done?
No but I wouldn't want to either way
>do you have a masculine hair cut?
Too depressed to get a haircut it's been a few years...
>do you use the mens bathroom?
Yes
>do you shave your body hair?
Yes
>does your family know?
Some but they reacted poorly so never told the rest
>do your friends know?
Yes
>have you legally changed your name and gender markers if possible?
No because I don't pass
>have you voice trained?
No but I'm trying and can't figure it out

I'm scared because if I don't pass is living as a hon really what I need? I want to be a woman not a tranny...

>>43369564
Then I'll marry you

>>43369598
I the best possible way i think Im scared of ended up like you like I prefer having honfidence that be like that

>>43369586
i believe there will never be a time when i am authentically a woman

>>43369651
You can be a girl without being mean to me...
I never wanted to turn out like this

>>43369598
if youre depressed while presenting as a man is it really serving you to continue the facade? I get its scary, especially the fear of being seen as a hon. I want to be a woman and not a tranny too. but I still find life more fulfilling being out as a clocky trans girl than living as a husk of a man. every year I the first time I wore a dress in public I was absolutely terrified and felt like I was doing something wrong. but nothing happened. you have to normalize it to yourself. if you have supportive friends I would try leaning on them for some support so you dont feel so terrified being in public and take some baby steps towards presenting as a woman full time

>>43369424
I'm dying to see what a 10 year boymoder looks like. Is that 10 years on estrogen?

>>43369656
I mean I think thats still a similar issue though. believing that theres always just "one more thing" that you need to do or that theres NOTHING you can do to legitimize your identity I think ultimately comes from the same place and leads to the same conclusion. I didnt believe there was anything I could do to authentically be a woman but I still tried to live as one because being a man was killing me. now that Ive lived as one I feel secure in who I am and want to be. its not really that much different from trying to reinvent yourself in any other way, just maybe a much more drastic change than like changing your career or where you live or how you dress. theres going to be a period where you feel like an impostor or are faking it but theres nothing you can do but keep trying to assert who you are to the world.

>>43368717
>cheap ffs
it's like 15k minimum for good results, many of us need more
>early hrt starts
what are you classing as early? everyone has an age they would've stopped theoretically passing with just hrt. for me that was about just after 16, i got hrt at 17.5
most of us are midshits and that's usually not enough

boymoder is a stupid word anyway and has the connotation of a 30 year old autopedophile, it shouldn't be used by anyone over 18 and they shouldn't be on this site

>>43369729
Yea, I look like an underaged boy basically but I don't pass
>>43369725
My friends don't have time for me they've all moved on with their own happy lives, their patience for me runs out quickly
Glad you're happy though anon it must be nice, I'd like to voice train at least but I can't figure it out I've been trying recently to no avail

>>43369598
Do you at least get gendered correctly from time to time?

>>43369549
>just go out like a sissy, hon!
groom someone else into your fetish

>>43369840
Sometimes... But when I see myself or post pics here I'm told I look like a man and will never make it

>>43369804
im sorry your friends arent able to support you. voice training is tough and I struggle with it too. i get it feels shitty having a non passing voice and makes going out in public as a woman scarier. if youre getting frustrated with it maybe theres another step you could take towards coming out and come back to it later. Im not trying to make you feel bad, i just dont want to see a girl give in to despair because I truly dont believe anyone is beyond hope

>>43369864
im sorry that you have rotted your mind but nothing I suggested was sexual. this is not something that crosses most cis peoples minds except for the extremely hateful or those who watch porn content and have fetishized all expressions of femininity. most cis people do not see a trans girl minding her own business in public and think shes acting out a fetish.

>>43368758
This girl grew up in an upper class family and doesn't realize the average yearly income in the US is like 30k.

>>43370006
they do if she looks like a hon, that's exactly how the media demonises is
>look at these disgusting fetishists who look like men in dresses!

>>43369930
My friends are great but they're right not to waste time on someone like me... I could afford ffs or put effort in but I'm too terrified to do anything.
I don't know what else I could do but I know voice would make me feel safer and maybe hopefully more confident about other things.
It sucks because it's killed any chance of me being comfortable with dating too and I really hate being alone and I feel like everything compounds my misery even more

>>43368717
I'm boymoding for the betterment of society. One less tranny optic nuking.

>>43370017
some media (not all) portrays us that way and some people (certainly not all or even most) may believe that, I didnt deny that, but trying to make those people comfortable is no way to live. most people have no interest in confrontation even if they do believe that, and if they do theyre likely going to look like the crazy person harassing someone who is just minding her own business. transphobia is undoubtedly a significant issue but I dont believe things are so bad that we should give in to doomerism and give up entirely.

>>43370061
im sure your friends will be more receptive than you think to helping you get out of your rut. plus its not like you would be asking that much of them. if they know your trans and were supportive, then just say like hey I want to stop presenting as a man in public and I would like to have a friend with me. or if you don't want to tell them you dont have to, just make some plans to hang out and wear something thats more obviously women's clothing

>>43368717
I started at 15, it's been 10 years hrt +ffs , I don't pass, so I boymode.

>>43370403
I'm going to the hair salon next week... That's something at least :( I haven't had a haircut in a couple years so it's long broken damaged hair...
But it feels so temporary compared to real things that couldn't be undone by my depression (voice training, ffs, coming out to family I guess)
But I couldn't ever tell my dad because the look he'd make knowing his only son is dead would send me over the edge...

some of us don't pass. weather that's because of genetics or effort, not everyone gets to win.

yeah some of us just look underaged. i started at 18, after wanting to for a few years and not being allowed. but it was over for me at 13 no matter what i did bc im cursed with awful upper body genetics. and probably a huge amount of testosterone in early puberty. im hideous and ik the reality at this point is i either age into a manmoder or just kill myself and the latter is looking increasingly like the better option

>>43368717
being openly tranny will still get you beaten in the majority of the world

>>43370625
Yeah, and if not assault then verbal harassment. honmoding is a privilege.