Anonymous
Percent chances of detransitio(...) 04/26/26(Sun)00:41:48 No.43374117

File: tumblr_8dad09e5e25342c04f(...).jpg (89 KB, 720x540)

89 KB JPG

Percent chances of detransitioning? Anonymous 04/26/26(Sun)00:41:48 No.43374117

I wish I can scream so loud that it can make all the years of awkward loneliness melt away. The dreams of being a typical high schooler, of relating to a group of friends, of connecting with someone, of being an archetypal person. It never happened. There was always something off in those years and I never was able to do it.

These were the thoughts in my head during those years: Why does it always feel off, like I’m playing a performance everytime I’m trying to communicate with someone? Why do I feel off? Why do I feel weird in my body? A burning on my chest, on my crotch, a woman in the mirror, a body I see as needing to be femaled, how come I feel as if no-one ever sees me -

And I know I have all the body parts to make a compelling meat-suit of a man but I don’t see any of that as authentically me.

And I don’t feel anything, ever, like I’m constantly in a disassociative fog. I wish I can make everyone see what I feel internally without having to play in their dumb dopamine social games where I act as a male.

I feel strong. I feel masculine. I don’t feel like a man. Who is he? But all men feel like this, right? RIGHT?

I only feel closer to being alive when I recognize myself as she/her.

>“Its a false external female self projected because you hate talking to people.”
>“You’re just tired of autistic masking and confusing it for dysphoria.”
>“Raped?”
> “You just have trauma which makes you dislike maleness.”
>“You’re just a lonely failed man.”
>“You’re just Peter Panning it and having an early life crisis and sad you’ll never be loved.”
>“Death wish.”
>“You’ll have the same unresolved emotional issues even if you transition. This won't fix it."

No to all of the above. I’m starting HRT. I can’t live like this. That’s my scream and maybe it’ll all melt away. Maybe I’ll feel more human.

Anons, give me the percentage chances I'll detrans after I hormonally rip apart my body to feel whole!