My meta-attraction has never been a problem until now. I find men ugly but whatever, I really love my boyfriend to obsession levels and used to get more than happy when he'd have sex with me and call me pretty.Hell started some weeks ago when i asked him to try viagra out of sheer curiosity. I had never seen him rock hard before and was getting kinda insecure that he just didn't like me enough.>heaven.jpegThe way he pounded me that times was different, and he acknowledged it. I felt good for the first time, he was deep inside me and calling me names making my brain melt quickly. Went so fucking well it made the constant anxiety and sadness i've been feeling since this year started go away for 3 days. I was genuinely happy.>ffw to todayWe fucked again, but no meds. Mid, i just wasn't enjoying it like I should. I was relaxing, the way you do in a hug. I'm still horny and begged for him not to stop till he eventually came and I started crying.I feel like shit now. I'm sad, anxious, guilty and thinking about how should i cut myself. I have to go to uni tomorrow and have groupwork and that sucks and fml. My bf is just the perfect man and doesn't deserve a stupid sex addict tranny that can't even enjoy when he shows affection. I *really* wanna feel that happy again but it isn't worth the price being the scumbag i'm being rn. Bleeding is the fucking least I should suffer to make karma even right? Should I cut upper arms or thigh this time? Ik killing myself is the right thing atp to make him stop wasting his time with me but I'm such a fucking wimp
