>>43404505
The only friend I remember from before age 6 was a girl who later decided she wanted nothing to do with me because I wasn't masculine enough

>>43404515
this fits in to my theory very well

>>43404515
>Men or women?
I prefer men
>Any AGP
Yes
>Femininity pre transition?
Feminine before puberty, not feminine afterwards but not traditionally masculine either. Was a little faggot twink before puberty and then just turned into a theater kid and later a bear.
>First experience with discomfort?
Idk but the first thing I can pinpoint as dysphoria specifically was bottom dysphoria that started at age 11 or so and made me wonder if I was born intersex
>When did I first wish to be the other gender?
Idk really
>When did I first seriously think about the idea?
17 was the first time I was confronted with it and made a decision not to, but I didn't know much about medical transition prior

>>43404553
this fits incredibly well with my theory

>>43404586
what is the theory

>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
I had exclusively women as friends aside from my best friend until I hit highschool.
Maybe like 4-6 girls as friends.

>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
Men but i tried to like women

>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
I cannot get off to myself as a women. I can get off to the idea of a man treating me like a woman though.

>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
Lots of people told me I walked and talked like a girl, but not in a gay way. I did not have a gay lisp. I was nerdy/emo.

>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
In Kindergarten I was told I need to be a boy whenever we played any games and I chose to eventually just read silently each time.

>when did you first wish you were the other gender
6th grade I prayed to wake up as a girl for several months

>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
16, I was considering it but got scared when my parents started prying about why I needed to see a psychiatrist

>>43404589
still trying to work out specific details, that's why im asking for others experiences, but i think that some people become gender dysphoric because of experiences like i describe in the background. i think it could in part explain the more "agp"/g3 subset of trans women. cause like throughout childhood i never really felt like i "was a girl" i just felt vaguely uncomfortable with being categorized as a boy, then around puberty i started having like real physical dysphoria. i think it could also explain agp, cause im not like super agp but my earliest sexual fantasies were always with women as the object of desire but from the point of view of the woman, and i bet thats cause i had this discomfort about being romantically interested in women because of experiences as described above.

>>43404686
well it's probably that plenty of people get body dysphoria but not much identity dysphoria

>>43404716
maybe im misunderstanding what ur say but i had identity dysphoria(or i guess more like gender role dysphoria) before physical dysphoria i just never closed the gap by thinking i was a woman

>>43404747
So I would break it down this way:

Social == How others treat you
Physical == Body stuff
Identity == How you see yourself

>>43404783
ok then yeah

>>43404505
>how many friends were girls
none, i had no friends until like 8 years old, but i guess my sister would count as a friend
>men or women
women
>are you agp
no being a woman brings me no sexual gratification or attraction, most i ever feel about it get is feeling comfortable in myself in sexual scenarios
>how feminine/nerdy.
a ton of people independently assumed i was a gay guy pre transition, family, friends, acquainces, it happened a lot of times despite me never showing any interest towards men and never having any outwardly flamboyant traits, i was a bit nerdy though
>when did you first experience discomfort with your gender
around 11 years old when my first growth spurt started happening, i saw myself growing and changing and i felt severe discomfort at every single thing, i became super self aware of every single bit of me and it felt like i could no longer be happy in my own body, though i wasnt able to put my finger on why or what to do to fix it, so i almost got on like height growth hormones so i could be taller and more masculine lmfao im so glad i didnt.
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
around 12 years old when i found out femboys existed lmfao, i was like able to identify with them and get a vague idea of what i would be more comfortable with myself doing, but ultimately since i figured out that feminity was an option i felt like being a femboy was a half measure and the thought of being a woman made me feel way happier and better about myself.
>when did you start considering medically transitioning
like 5 or so months after the previously mentioned incident, until then i didnt even know that was something that you could do, i had no idea that was an option, but once i did i couldnt stop thinking about it, and every day that i denied to myself that it would be best for me if i was a woman and start going on hrt it would get harder and harder to deny it

>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
Well it was probably more accurate to say I didn't have any friends before the age of 6, but ig the kid I knew well enough to have a playdate with was a girl, and the only people I remember playing with more than once were girls.
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
Men, but like with zero repulsion towards women, I just feel nothing in their direction.
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
Imagining myself as a woman has never had a sexual component or been arousing
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
I tried my best to basically not be a person, and take up as little room as possible in every situation, to conform, avoiding in-depth interactions with other humans, not speaking unless spoken to, But I still had a few kids say things like 'but you're a boy" to things I did or said, and a kid told me to pretend kiss a classmate(who was more flamboyantly gay) So I think people did pick up on some hints of femininity under the self policing.
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
As soon as I was around other kids, maybe age 4? I was jealous of girls' hair and clothes, suspicious when they played *too* rough with me, or wanted piggy back rides; was it just because I was bigger, or am I being treated differently for being seen as a boy is the thought that kept drifting into my mind.

The first time I seriously tried to modify me body because of gender discomfort was age 11, I became anorexic in attempt to make my body look more petite and have more shape to my waist.

>>43405465
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
Maybe 5 or 6 the thoughts discomfort around gender dynamics turn into an actual desire to be a girl, I think the catalyst for that was an intrusive thought I needed to have a baby to take care of.
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
The day I found out it was a thing at age 16, there was no consideration period, no question its what I needed to live life.

>>43404602
>>43405465
Both of your experiences are very relatable. I knew I was different from a young age but I couldn't pinpoint exactly *how* until I was a teenager. But there were always signs.

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
zero. i wasnt allowed to have any.
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
i used to think it was neither then i started watching porn to feel normal and that made me more attracted to women (i think) but then i realized im (fake)trans and now its men
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
not sexual attraction i guess, early on the idea had this agp-like tantalizing feeling associated with it but that faded away pretty quickly and i became a miseryhon
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
i was shy and nerdy with a personality that people have described as weird, and on one occasion i was bullied for "being gay" but honestly i have no idea if i was ever flamboyant or really all that feminine
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
depends on how specific bc i wanted to wear dresses since i was four and i wished i didnt have a dick since i was like 5 and puberty was a dissociative and stressful mess for me
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
also depends bc there were minor moments but to my memory ive never had the thought "i was the other gender" until i was 15
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
around 6 months after i discovered it was a thing (17 (yes i was that sheltered))

>>43405506
I don't think I(>>43405465)
ever thought I was different, More so I thought this was just part of the human experience, like everyone has desires for traits of the opposite sex/gender and just pushes them away to maintain the 'proper' society.

>>43405614
Realizing that not every guy wanted to be a woman was critical for me.

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
no friends before I was 6
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
neither, i'm ace. although i wouldnt mind being in a relationship with either.
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
sure on occasion, it's hardly a common occurrence by any means but it happens. less so since i started e.
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
I wasn't remarkably feminine but I had some characteristics (I grew out my hair, had non-masculine hobbies like drawing, was a pretty big deal since i lived in the global south where doing that as a guy was unusual). Mostly though rather than being feminine I was more non-masculine and tried to consciously reject anything "masculine"-coded (ie chasing after girls, or playing/being interested in sports)
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
when i was like 7-8 and had to separate into boys/girls for certain class activities, it felt wrong to be in the boys group and i didn't like it. At the same-ish time i remember hating my deadname, but it'd a stupid fucking name anyways so idk
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
like 14, but only occasionally. It grew worse as i grew older.
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
when i was 17, repressed for a bit over a year.

>>43404505
ive never had any friends ever :|

>>43406963
>>43405612
>>43405465
>>43404970
i actually shocked by how many of you didn't have friends. thats actually making me super sad.

>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
majority around 5-6
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
more attracted to men have experimented with women but not for me
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
not really I need to be a woman at least in my head to be repulsed the idea of having sex but the focus isn't on the being a woman part
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
I was nerdy generally more idk "EmoTIOnallY IntEligeNt" or gentle or polite then male peers. Not outwardly gay at all really aside from some slightly feminine sided mannerisms I got made fun of for.
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
when I was like 5-6 started to become really uncomfortable with this girl who wanted to do the whole to kids "date" thing. at the same time wish I could've done the same thing with a guy I was friends with.
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
same time as above
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
when i was 17 and realized that there was still a chance you could be a fairly normal attractive woman instead of like all the 50 year olds I saw on the internet

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
zero. i had some "friends" throughout my childhood but i had the first real friend at 12, and he was a fat nerd

>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
men

>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
yes

>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
im out as gay since 12 yo, but never was really fem. in some occasions like Halloween or some parties i would wear dresses and makeup at school

>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
preschool

>when did you first wish you were the other gender
preschool

>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
i guess at 13, 14 yo

>>43404505
Probably half of my friends early childhood were female.
In childhood 6-12 it was like 90% female friends. I could not get along with any of the boys. Then my autism took over and I tried to fit in with the boys and they bullied me to shit and sexually assaulted me occasionally but nobody believed me.
I only had one agp experience when I took a shitload of adderall and stole my mom's makeup and got all dolled up (I had been sneaking into her room practicing makeup for awhile) and made the perfect solo masturbation video and jerked off to it after. I'm so ashamed of it now and how fucked my sexuality was on T.
I tried to rep as masc in high school/early college and looked like a pathetic twink but after that I just said fuck it and became a femboy.
I always hated being grouped in the boys in any gender segregated activity in childhood. Only once puberty absolutely started raping me did the cracks form.
I started thinking about taking diy hrt about 4 years before I finally did. I was forced to rep by an ex gf who was fucking evil to the core.

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
no friends at those ages but like 50% were for remainder of elementary school (ages 7-10)
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
bi but prefer men
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
no, being a woman in of itself provides no sexual appeal to me
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
i always had very long hair as a kid, a lot of people thought i was a girl, but wasn't wildly feminine in mannerisms, mostly just andro
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
about nine. something about the way the boys i knew acted made me feel out of place a lot
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
around 11-12, i had a few friends come out as trans (all ftm) which made me start thinking about that for myself
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
about 12. i knew i didn't want to be too visibly queer and realized quite fast that medical transition would potentially allow me to be stealth.

>>43407206
i sent this before reading the other replies, remembered some things and saw better ways to answer some questions
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both

I'm addicted to porn since 9yo or so. It started with gay porn, but I have masturbated frequently to femboy, futa, female anal, feet, armpits, fart and cbt(it started around 12 and it wasn't sexual at first, I just wanted to rip my penis off bc of dysphoria. Somehow I started liking it). The only ones I self insert are abuse, ugly bastards, worshipping nasty male parts, cnc, and pegging(as the woman)

I still jerk off daily to all of those things but I can't think myself with another woman(in a non-attracted way, not repulsed. i would like being gangbanged with another woman tho), and i don't even like my dick, i want to have srs and occasionally use strapons in a hunk or a bear

>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
when i jerk off yes but i think when i have sex with a future boyfriend no

>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?

I'm out as gay since 12 yo, but never was really fem. in some occasions like Halloween or some parties i would wear dresses and makeup at school

and everyone in my life thought i was gay, trans, enby or asexual since childhood, and I always had a extremely feminine behavior, but I don't like to use it as an example bc my father was like me during his childhood.

>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
preschool

>when did you first wish you were the other gender
preschool

>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
if you consider daydreaming about becoming a scientist and transforming myself in a woman then 7, 8yo

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
half
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
im bi but idk i only want to date men now and it has been like that for a while
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
yes but it came much later than GD. at 13-14 after i actually found out i was trans and decided to rep
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
andro/masc as a kid and masc after puberty, shy, anxious and nerdy. didnt show attraction towards nobody
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
very early on like at 4-5. i would try to make my clothes more fem, used to kiss boys, was obssesed with becoming a girl, would pray to become one, etc.
my puberty was early and i felt like my skull was getting deformed, hated body hair and facial hair so much that i asked my mom if i could get laser at 11, was neutral towards my voice even with people showering me with compliments
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
12-13, knew about everything. repped after

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood were girls
most, but not all, however that changed when i was around 9-10 and i started to get very self-conscious about it, and then towards the end of high school i was back to being friends with mainly girls
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
more attracted to men, used to be more split though
>are you agp
honestly not really sure if this counts but i like the idea of being and feeling weak and small next to a larger stronger more masc man
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
i was mostly just very depressed and had a lot of sexual development p late, but at least in appearance i was pretty twinkish and kinda in love w my best friend (guy) pretrans. but i would hesitate to call myself fem, moreso just not very masc. i had a lot of shame about not being very manly growing up, in part bc its something my dad clearly values and then also bc my brother is like peak masculinity---tho they've both been supportive
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
pretty young (around 7) i remember feeling like the genitals i was supposed to have were taken, and made the assumption that i must have been born with both as a kid and the doctors chose to "sew me up". i still feel the same way when i think about it :/ i also hated always being made to be the dad or brother when i would play house w my friends
>wish other gender?
probably around 5th grade was when i really started to be aware of it and 6th grade i saw this kid get bullied out of school for transitioning
>seriously consider med transition?
first around middle school and then i convinced myself that i didn't need to trans and i could make myself happy as a boy, and then again after i graduated high school and got really close to killing myself and i pushed it off some more and started at 20

>>43408095
as an addendum, i also remember my brother telling me a few times when i was around 12-13 that it was okay if i was gay bc he would beat up anyone who tried to bully me. i ofc vehemently denied being gay and very much did not trust him (or anyone for that matter) with the information of my doubts and questions around my gender/sexuality

>>43404505
my first friend was the granddaughter of the older couple that lived nextdoor to me, she was a year older than me
mostly attracted to men at this point, though before e I did have a couple relationships with women
yes situationally, not in a blanchard way
not flamboyant, more nerdy. Everyone always assumed I was gay though
somewhere around 5
somewhere around 5
somewhere around 18

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
basically all of them. i also called myself a girl sometimes back then lol
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
men, but sometimes i fall for clocky twinkhons.
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
im not sure?? maybe so yeah but idk the whole idea of agp just sounded so gross to me when it was first explained to me.
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
a bit geeky but definitely a flamer lol.
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
very very young, i'd say around 6
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
very very young also, i'd say when i was around 7.
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
learned it was attainable when i was 16, only started hrt at 19 after repping/boymoding became too much and i knew for certain i would probably pass and be able to live a decent life on hrt.

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
let's expand the field on this
before 6, I want to say 3 girls and 2 boys. Boys and girls were equal. In my mind this meant I could be friends with either
6-11, 7 girls and 4 boys
12-18, 2 girls and 2 guys, and one guy who I now realize was probably FtM. But high school sucked so hard it was more like people I could tolerate

>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
I like both, but prefer men

>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
there was an excitement to the idea of me as a girl but not quite what I'd call sexual attraction (huge attraction to the idea of getting fucked like a girl though). Now I just like being me

>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
nerdy, tall, skinny, longer than normal legs, often called girly or fag. Gynecomastia at 11 that never went away didn't help. When I was 15 in PE a girl asked if I shaved my legs (I didn't at the time). Perpetual victim. I had such a reputation as a punching bag that when a boy was raped in HS everyone assumed I was the victim

>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
proper dysphoria hit around 12. Before then I didn't like the idea of growing up to be a man I guess, and I hated how rough everyone was with me just because I was a boy

cont.

>>43408440
cont.
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
I was 6 years old when I knew I was supposed to be a girl.

>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
complicated
I wouldn't know any of what was possible until 16. Saw a documentary about transwomen describing their experiences before and after transition. While one tranner was talking my mom commented "oh she's so pretty, look at all that plastic surgery". She called her plastic. Fake. She was just being a snippy bitch but that threw me headlong back into repression
to my mind my ideal self would require more money than I could ever afford, and even then I'd be a fake woman in my mother's eyes
I wouldn't learn about HRT until my 30s.

There's a ton more I could say, a million things that point toward me being a girl, a psychiatrist who saw the true me, etc. but this is getting long (2 posts) and exceeding the bounds of your questionaire

>i think my gender dysphoria stems from having mostly female friends early in childhood but getting messaging from society that platonic cross sex friendships were weird/impossible
there's nothing wrong with a young boy have girl friends. But it's quite possible that you sought to associate with girls because you identified with them better than boys

You aren't asking one of the key questions which is
>Do you have autism
Not all transgender individuals have autism, but it's like a disproportionately high affected rate in autistic individuals. I believe from those perspectives, rigidity in terms of what gender means (ironically) combined with a lack of 'social glue' truly confining your mental status to the norm causes any myriad of reasons to add up to gender nonconformity.

I actually think it's more unusual for a gay man to decide to be fully femme without transitioning at this point but this statement has no real evidence unlike the 30% cited above which has studies.

I think autistic individuals are more likely to observe their own sex and say 'well, I don't feel like this stereotype, I feel a bit more like the other stereotype' and box themselves in. Just into the other box.

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>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
two or three i think, i don't quite remember. most of my male friends hated me because i was a nerdy introvert.
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
both are nice.
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
i used to read a lot of weird agp stuff when i was really young but it was mostly a coping mechanism and most of the attraction to myself as a woman went away after transitioning. the mental scars from reading that as a kid won't go away no matter what though.
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
i was nerdy. i wasn't really outwardly feminine but i hated the male social role and hated being forced to dress and act like a boy.
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
i always hated having to fit into the male social role and act like a man, but i first started experiencing actual physical dysphoria when puberty started around ~14.
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
as long as i can remember.
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
as soon as i learned about it when i was 12, though my social circle at the time groomed me into thinking it was dangerous so i avoided it, even when offered the opportunity by doctors until i was 15 and bought it online. i think about it every day and hate myself for not doing it and losing the opportunity to cispass. though i understand that a lot of people here have gone through a lot worse.

>>43404505
>Any Female friends
Yes exclusively
>Men or women
Women. Im ace now tho due to hrt
>Agp
No i dont find myself attractive at all
>How feminie
Not really? People would ask if i was gay occasionally though
>When did you first wish you were the other gender
Idk 10 maybe
>When did you first think about transitioning
Like 14 but i pussied out and reppped

>>43404505
About equal
Women only
Not really I kinda just didn't let myself have those thoughts?
I was called the gayest straight man my friends ever knew
It made me upset I could not be a lesbian since I was like 11
Probably around 18, 19ish
Had a serious period of gender questioning in 2022 that I repressed until recently

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
can't remember our childhood vurr much but, the earliest friends we remember having were three girls.
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
I prefer men visually and behaviorally but women mentally.
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
No, the only sexual stimuli that came of anything similar to this had to do with the threat of being caught. now that we are simply a woman, there is nothing sexual about it.
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like, were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
we were always a meek kid who was very fearful and avoidant, the first memory of anything queer I had was in middle school where I realized I was crushing on a guy and laying on him without realizing until after he uncomfortably left. we were unable to hide our flamboyance and appreciation for things like mlp throughout our educational experience despite repressing it due to unsupportive family.
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
we had access to the internet very early and we remember being jealous of the women in stereotyped content we saw for the amount of attention and care they got, it showed us it wasn't just limited to potential biases from our family members.
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
I moved back to the city I grew up in after a few years in another state, and, the comfort that someone very important in my life provided me made me realize that I can't live without that, and, so, I spent the next few years being miserable, knowing exactly what we wanted but not being able to until we met someone online and they funded flying us out to date them in another state, free from family.

I had zero real friends

>>43404505
I don’t remember, for all my childhood I had two best friends and the friend group was 2 eventually trans men 3 girls and 2 boys if you count me as a boy.
I’m more into men but my sexuality has genuinely fluctuated back and forth so much throughout my adolescence so I can’t be certain about labels
I genuinely have more AAP via dissociation
I was kind of a flamer in elementary school but I don’t remember what happened I became a quiet lonely kid with no friends outside of that previous friend group who sort of split up barring birthdays, the extent of our time together was mostly walking to school together

I don’t remember, I have some hazy memories. Might have one or two experiences in puberty, but my first intellectual acknowledgement was around 16 when started browsing tttt
Very early
Roughly 17, I went to the doctor for blockers but they said it wouldn’t do much despite my puberty having been relatively weak till that point
Then I gave up cause I needed every excuse to call myself not valid cause tttt worms

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
all of them
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
men, 50/50 prehrt
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
no, but sometimes i see myself naked and want to be railed so idk
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
yeah got bullied for it a lot in middle school
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
puberty
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
when i was 12
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
seeing my roommate troon out and finding out HRT existed and that the stuff i read on /pol/ about trannies when i was 15-18 wasn't true

>>43404505
does having no friends at all count

>>43404505
>>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
most were girls
>>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
men more, but am bi
>>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
??Yes?? I feel like if trans no one would answer no though cause is way too general
>>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
very flamboyant
>>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
earliest i remember is cub scouts, so elementary school
>>when did you first wish you were the other gender
same, as above, elementary school
>>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
16

hope u like these answers nona

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
I don’t remember who my friends were before I was six; that was more than twenty years ago. What I can tell you is that almost all of my friends before puberty were girls. After puberty, the only girls who would associate with me were social outcasts.
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
Attracted most to trans girls, their bodies and personalities. Attracted to cis women’s bodies but repelled by how they behave. Also their genitals disgust me. Meta-attracted to cis dudes.
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
Yeah.
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
Nerdy but didn’t behave in a way that people would call “feminine” or homosexual, just wimpy and histrionic. People thought of me as a spaz, not a sissy.
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
Discomfort with my gender role since childhood. Discomfort with my physiology from the onset of puberty.
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
16
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
17

>>43404505
i had a lotta platonic female friends and we had fun but like half of them had one sided crushes on me no one thought they were weird/impossible or anything, they ended after i went through puberty
>are you agp
i guess, i cant imagine having sex as a man, im not really attracted to the concept of being a woman im just female in my head, i probably used to be a bit agp before thinking of myself as a woman instead of a feminine gay guy
>were you a flamer or nerd pretrans
i was a flamer on the internet but i guess just a nerd in real life due to not being physically feminine
>when did you first not like being male
probably when i learned about puberty and realized id have to go through it
>when did you first wish you were female
i saw a woman outside once and told my mom i wanted to grow up to be like her
>when did you consider hrt
late 17 when i found out about it
im bi btw if that matters
most people would consider me bad and agp because im ugly even though i like men, i dunno what went wrong in my brain

>>43410109
oh i forgot to mention that that time where i told my mom i was gonna grow up to be a foid was like age 5

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6)
I didnt have friends at this time. Now when I was eight my best friend was a tomboy and I was friends with an older girl who tried to groom and sexualize me.
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
Men. Its always been men. I tried denying this when I was young.
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard...)
Am I the retard? I thought thats what Blanchard meant? Anyway, yes. Probably more so when I started my transition/just before/pre transition.
>how feminine were you pre...?
Hhmm this is kinda tough. Ive been called a girl, soft or a sissy but honestly I was probably more androgynous. I tried my best to hide this and be masc tho.
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort
Ages 6-17 were very strange and uncomfortable. Around six I would fantasize about removing my penis. Purposefully hurting myself there. Although I was only six so "hurting myself" is a bit of a stretch.
>when did you first wish...
17. I fully knew I was at 17. I had crushes on male friends and was so desperate to convince myself of my masculinity.
>when did you first seriously think about... [transitioning]?
Years later, sadly. After the damage was done. I grew up in the 90's. Only trans people were sex workers and drug addicts. Gays were still openly mocked. There wasnt resources for queer people. Not unless you just happened to be in the right, tiny circles. Certainly wasnt any resources for a tranny like me. In a small hispanic, catholic conservative town. You were only one of two things. Moving out of town or in a gang. Neither encouraged queer people to be themselves.

>>43404505
>25%
>men
>yes, i am
>i wasn't muscular or anything, and i didn't have a strong puberty, but i acted masculine because i had to due to my surroundings. i was quiet and nerdy but liked and respected tho.
>16
>8 (but they were just random daydreams)
>16

>>43404505
>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
3:1 ratio favouring girls
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
exclusively men
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
no
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
was mostly an unassuming nerdy kid but apparently i had obvious fagcent. i did gravitate towards a handful of stereotypically feminine interests though
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
whenever in school they would split us up by boys and girls
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
same time as above
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
around 20 when considering how i'd rather age

Maybe having no friends early in development is a risk factor for transgenderism or does being a tranny make you less likeable as a child?

>>43410261
yeah honestly im kinda shocked by the trend there not really what i was expecting at all. could be a combination of having a preference for female friends but not being accepted by them or maybe its just the autism overlap showing, or maybe like autism + female friend preference = tranny.

>>43408511
honestly yeah i think that might be the bigger take away i've gotten from this

>>43404505
>>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
All of them any one else I hung out with was a neighbor I was forced to spend time with
>>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
Exclusively men
>>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
If imaging my bf fucking my vagina or fingering me counts yes but never just oh I'm a girl erection
>>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
I thought of my self as very masculine but no one was surprised I transitioned and I got a lot of I assumed you were gay so I guess feminine
>>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
When I was 4 my sister dressed me up i was very happy then my parents yelled when she showed me off and that really hurt me. I guess specific dysphoria moment would be around in 3rd grade at a friend's birthday party her other girl friends there treating me different felt terrible I wasn't allowed to stay over and do things with them
>>when did you first wish you were the other gender
I guess 4 during the dress thing I thought of it as just wanting to wear those clothes and I liked being cute but the desire of being a girl only intensified
>>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
I learned about it at 14 shortly after trying to cut my penis off at 15 I ordered diy hormones

>how many of your friends in early childhood (before age 6) were girls
none, essentially
>are you more attracted to men or women or equally to both
women, and in a very visual malebrained way.
>are you agp (not in a Blanchard way but like have you ever had any attraction to the idea of yourself as a woman)
yeah. it mostly faded over time but i still get contextual meta-attraction
>how feminine were you pre transition and in what way, like were you flamboyantly "gay", were you nerdy, not really outwardly feminine at all?
not outwardly feminine.
>when did you first experience any type of discomfort with your gender in any way
12
>when did you first wish you were the other gender
~13
>when did you first seriously think about the idea of medically transitioning
~13
yeah i'm basically a troonjak