I'm honestly getting to the point where my mental dysphoria is becoming more severe than my physical dysphoria, I've managed to take care of most of my physical traits that makes me dysphoric and I pass pretty well, but being moidbrained is driving me insane I put together a cute outfit yesterday for work, and looked in the mirror, it was pretty but it just felt wrong, like a straight man's idea of female office wear, so I just threw the clothes aside and wore the same plain and safe outfit I always wear to work. At work today, I looked at female coworkers with envy, I saw how idiosyncratic, conservative and yet unmistakably feminine their outfits were, there's a level of complexity and orchestration to them, that's just beyond my aesthetic capabilities Even my music taste is "vaguely feminine music that appeals to autistic losers", it's not the music tastes of someone who's genuinely feminine in mind and soul I just feel like a completely separated from the feminine collective unconscious. I always thought that trying to brainwash oneself into being more fembrained was regressive, but now I'm beginning to see the sense in it...
>>43410465sametahst why i manmode and just take my ahrt and do my skincare and sghut upi dont even have cute outfits they all dont fit well anyway cause of my body
>>43410465If you think that cis women who like Cocteau Twins, Kate Bush, The Smiths, MCR, or Beach House don’t exist then you’re completely out of touch with reality
i dont pass at all
>>43410486Ime those are typically the most masculine bands that women like, the bread and butter of most women's libraries will be stuff like Taylor Swift, with The Smiths or Kate Bush serving an auxiliary role. How many cis women have you met proclaim that "Oh the Cocteau Twins are my favourite!" None, and butch lesbians don't count either.Even if you're right, then I'm malebrained for not realising this. So regardless it's a lose/lose situation for me.
>>43410465>>43410511i get where youre coming from but i think you're overthinking this. cis women can be autistic losers too yknow, although i agree that this sort of taste is sliiightly less common in women.but most men are normie too!!! its a different sort of normie but fantanocore guys are also a minority. women are less likely to advertise it is all, ive met plenty of women into niche-r indie stuff, even a few unironically into harsh noisealso>wish over disintegration
>>43410465oh my goddddddd shut up. u need to get DRUNK. and HIGH. >>43410511oh my fucking god kys go talk to real ppl. i have straight hgs and fem bi hgs who LIVE FOR cocteau twins.>the most masculine bands>literally kate fucking bush straight up u don’t hang w cool ppl and u don’t have fun or get fycked up and thats why ur miserable. alt girls LOVE the smiths are you LITERALLY RETARDED. “alt girl talking about put on the smiths bitch we’re gonna listen to this duwap kaine and ur gonna like it” does that not ring a bellfem alt bi girls love mcr quirked up artsy girls WOULD DIE FOR COCTEAU TWINS. SHUT UP GO GET DRUNK RIGHT NOW.>the bread and butter of most women's libraries will be stuff like Taylor Swiftliterally how teenage boys view women. like maybe rlly mainstream women. big like literally ok like who even cares. pmo
just wear polka dots like the strawberry switchblade babes nona put some flowers in your hair
>>43410617This is quite good with a well thought skirt instead of the usual flowery grandma crap rapehons use
>>43410569I've never seen these women... maybe meeting them would make me feel less alienated, but still, the fact I've developed this taste despite never being in the same communities as those women just shows that my music tastes do not originate from some inner feminine core
>>43410465I'm just gonna boast about being complimented on for my music taste by teenage girls pre transition (they were my sister's friends)I have no doubt, then, that I am indeed listening to girl music or at least, like, androgynous music theyfabs might enjoy. I don't mind being androgynous desu
>>43410617Fuck you mean people hate Pornography?? It's some of the best Gothic sound. Cold is a fucking incredible track
>>43410465this is why i didnt bother transitioningwhen i realized i could never actually be female, just a more and more convincing imitation from a male's perspectiveno matter how much I thought I was fembrained, by definition it was just a mans idea of what was fembrained which felt borderline misogynistic
>>43410768Being androgynous is not for me, i wish I was more feminine... but I'm an autistic tranny, it's so fucking cursed.
>>43410786well said, but I still transitioned anyway because pre trans I was honestly ready to rope, I don't regret transitioning at all
>>43410465What's your favorite track on Four Calendar? I had a slight mental breakdown a few months back and listened to the album probably 30 times within a week. Theft has my favorite lyric in "keep cutting myself on the edges of reality" but Summerhead is my favorite track for it's vibes. The vibes of the track with the repeated "safe at last" was so comforting.
https://youtu.be/JpcqR5Wk1Owentertainment kinda sounds like cure's pornography at times
>>43410812Know who you are at every age, Bluebeard, Pur, Theft and Wandering around lost are probably my favourites, I can't choose between those 4, but the whole album is honestly insanely beautiful to meI listened FCC on the first day i started girlmoding full time, I remember finishing a project, booking the afternoon off work, sending that email around and then closing my laptop and screaming in my pillow, later, i took a trash bag with all my male clothes to the nearest charity store and donated all of them, I was listening to FCC on the bus back whilst staring at the snow outside of the window, it'll always be my favourite CT twins album thanks to that memory, so comfy...ironically, Heaven or Las Vegas was introduced to me at the absolute lowest point in my entire life.
>>43410797nta i didnt mean to imply "if you had known this then you wouldnt have transitioned like me" which isnt how i feeli dont feel like it is necessarily a mistake or somethingpersonally transitioning wouldnt have been that much of a mistake it just wouldnt have got me what i actually wanted out of itthere are alot of factors that go into itreading your post was weirdly like reading something from a parallel universe where i did transition
>>43410875It really is probably the most beautiful album I've heard. It feels like listening to heaven. That sounds like a really good memory nona
>>43410465cocteau are actually pretty femme coded. theyre very popular with goth/alt girls.what's not femme coded is spiraling over whether your music taste is feminine or not. If you were actually cis it'd be a point of pride that makes you *not be like other girls* while being a pickme for men.
>>43410789I am around 2 months in and I already basically look like a dyke rather than a boy
>>43410617looks pretty good as is but yeah a gold like, bar necklace would go pretty well here. for more specific advice, consult actual female fashion places and not 4chan lol
>>43411191I hate posting in female fashion forums because theyre all enormous hugboxers and I feel like I'm invading women's spaces, but okay, thank you nona, I like the gold bar advice specifically, that's unironically very tasteful advice
>>43411245what works for me is trying to break up large flat expanses with thick lines, generally, but that's because i'm a gigamoided shoulderhon. you look like you have good proportions so you can worry less about that, but see about a belt or something for the front of the skirt maybe too? gold-coloured chunky buckle maybe
