Nothing tops the Jolly Rancher story.

Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.

It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...

He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.
So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.

>>43484662
previous bread >>43477116

>>43484642
https://voca.ro/1h79PeznM0bF

>>43484642
shiza

i wish to be loved by a top. not like a pretend sort of feeling, but like, authentic. real gay love..

>>43484708
real love hurts and breaks you down, leaves you constantly thinking about what you did wrong and how things could have been different, real love always ends abruptly, be careful what you wish for, maybe wish for fake love instead

>>43484662
Big penised hairy holed vers bottoms with love handles

>>43484733
You're way too smart to be here. I want to be in fake love with you. Conditional, impermament, low staked, stable...

>>43484610
not a ting unless u ai it

My sleep paralysis puppy is sitting on me and preventing me from getting up.

>>43484733
real love doesn't fizzle out instantly, it slow burns for centuries

Beatles ____ ____

>>43484768
will never be real women

well done lad, the Beatles are all dead

>>43484786
paul mccartney is still alive

grrr

>>43484768
loves thorny

>>43484786
they were all better as solo artists
should have never been a band
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BdU1XMg90A

>>43484733
>Real love is a passionate fling you had for a little while
>Riding the high of an intense and quickly progressing relationship that fizzles out is TRUE love
Girl, don't spread your retardation to other anons, we have impressionable users here

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shiza is a dung beatle

>>43484904
Bottom

real love is medieval
real love is dark age

>haha i posted it again!

>>43484904
he is croatian and goes by the name frank :3

>>43484955
Does he post hole

real love mentioned https://youtu.be/90c9pEtZquw

>>43484960
idk i have only seen him in undies or towel on xitter

>>43484963
Crispy chicken...
Wrapped up in a...

>>43484935
>>43484960
worse, he's b*sexual
https://www.lpsg.com/threads/frank_osmat.7167781/post-101580881

>>43484982
>he's bisexual
hottt

>>43484982
He looks bisexual, you really didn't have to dig that up

may consider dwarfmaxxing

>>43484982
yikes. thanks for the warning

>>43484982
fucking disgusting, but not surprising coming from someone from yug*sl*via

>>43484982
Ew
>>43484986
How does someone look bisexual

>>43484982
he looks like, and probably is, a straight queerbaiter
in terms of physical attractiveness:
1. straight men
2. gay men (not flamers/fats)
3. bi men

Starve the artists

>>43485007
>How does someone look bisexual
they look like a bottom

Why are y'all so fucking biphobic

so many jelly haterz luul

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gib me pls daddy bf cock

>>43485023
proximity to bisexual people tend to have that result

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I straightened my hairs

>>43485054
I want to make a joke at your expense, but you look ok and so I have no ammo

>>43484786
Based Sseth referencer

>>43485054
It amplifies the roundness of your face. No shade just objective critique.

The white trash slim shady haircut you posted yesterday was probably your peak, go back to that and start fucking black guys.
Respectfully.

>>43485054
u should get a perm like all the young twinks

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Does this is really a good look for me?? More than curly hair or no? Tbh I just brushed my hair and put hairspray in it

>>43484662
Don't make us chasers look gay, you homo

>>43485080
Looking like a good mature BBCissy for rough hung black primal fuck machines.

>>43485054
lord farquaad and shrek had an ass baby

>>43485086
>>43485080
your best look in a while

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1.11 MB GIF

>>43485073

>>43485105
Gross malformed fat ssething tranny

*takes off my work shoes*
hey, anons

>>43485119
are u winning

>>43485123
>Sniffs shoes
>Because it's part of my catboy RP, and I'm wondering where you've been, not because I'm a foot fag.

>>43485133
Wygrywasz, synu?

if shiza was just walking down the street on his way to the store to buy a sweet treat and you threw your cum on his face and ran away to observe what do you think you would see

maybe our world is so cringe and retarded is on purpose, so that when the elder gods rise from the sea to subdue humanity we'll be desensitized. a four dimensional squid would honestly not even phase me at this point

>>43485149
When you get really yellow we all shake zebras, so you need underwear.

shiza is the jeremy hambly of gaygen

>>43485151
i think i would observe him wiping it from his face and giving it a tentative lick then realizing it is delicious at which point he would slurp it up like a gogurt

shiza is what happens when dunning-kruger/klinefelter effect is given a human form

do gay men like fujoshis? Why?

>>43485200
no. you're smelly and weird.

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What's up gg?

>>43485200
>do gay men like fujoshis
No
>Why
Because

i'm glad it's warm enough to open the windows because i blew up the bathroom

>>43485200
it would be nice to have a lady to cuck

Sex with Claviculare

>>43485200
yeah they're cool

>>43485200
No, because they got too comfortable and started making women think it was ok to say homophobic things because they jack their clits to gay men or whatever.

>>43485200
are you taking a poll? i don't mind the archetype in anime but meeting someone who is actually like that is annoying

>>43485242
It's not that hard to find a crack head to fuck, you could solve this issue by tomorrow if you weren't just in it for the clout.

>>43484662
Why do guys like this and muscleanon over train the thighs but under train calves? Looks like ARK builds

>>43485342
I don't there are many hot crackheads with muscles, great skin, great bones and pretty faces out there

being on 4chan is the exact opposite of being a sociopath

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when i was a kid i used to openly hate on jews because i was mad i got circumcised. i remember some kid getting upset cus his father was jewish lul

>>43485368

Being on 4chan is exactly where I want the sociopaths and psychopaths to dwell.

>>43485376
your dick is probably just as big and hot as it would have been if it was intact

>>43485376
Don't blame us. We're victims too, and we're not the ones who brought it to the US and made it popular. That was Victorian era English quackery. I think it should be a criminal offense or at least regulated to hell so you have to jump through hoops and pay out of pocket.

Circumcision should be illegal unless medical necessary or the guy choose to get it done when he's a adult.

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>>43485105

would you?

>>43485452
Esau and Jacob

>>43485105
imagine nuttyyahoo being executed. we have so many trump shooting attempts why cant someone fly out to israel and take him out?

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1.79 MB PNG

>>43485054
get anime yaoi boy hair

>>43485465
Because shiza's fat jewish cartel family mother is protecting him with the might of an independent military group and intel founded by her money

would you nuke israel?

What are you guys doing? Feels like a boring day.

>>43485499
with the entire worlds arsenal

What if hitler was actually a good guy and he was just brainwashed by gobbels

karl is the exact opposite of karl like younger karl is the exact opposite of engels karl

No one wants to chat huh

>>43485559
Tell me about your hole

>>43485559
Who's your favorite cshotacon artist?

>>43485621
It's a little hair

>>43485502
i've finished eating breakfast so i'm gonna sit around for a bit and then start exercising. it's gonna rain today (real) so i'm skipping going to the track

>>43485622
Holden

>>43485622
Not sure how TF anyone can be into immature hairless boys

is bleagle still being a doxxing nutcase does anyone know

>>43485632
Tell me about the first time a man played with it

>>43485638
Can I get the lore on bleagle?

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>>43485502
texture editing / working out a bit / trying to diet

>>43485656
How is the weight loss going?

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It doesn't matter im losing weight. I'm still shaped this way. (Not me in pic)

>>43485653
they went crazy and started doxxing someone from a discord someone said they were posting it on here

>>43485703
Is it the tripfag Kuro-something?

>>43485656
Are you working on the crimson dessert content patch mommy?

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Masc is king

Which trip has the most reddit karma?

>>43485701
But is your hole hairy?

>>43485745
Some

>>43485751
Then you're winning bro

>masc this masc that
So if there was a small gay man, that shaved his legs, and dressed cutely.
But he could change 4 brake pads in right around 1 hour, and fix any mechanical issues with the house while asking his verse bf to pass him tools that all have cute nicknames, like pinchy pliers for side cutters or tippy-tapper for the finishing hammer.

Would that be masc or fem?

>>43485791
he would be my perfect neutral BC domtop bf

>>43485779
Hoorayy

>>43485791
i get what you're trying to go for but he'd be effeminate. fem.

>>43485791
That would be tranny

>>43485200
probably the most pathetic subgroup of women. and that's saying something.

>>43485791
Masc is a presentation

>>43485872
Was he hung?

>>43485791
>Would that be masc or fem?
trash

>>43485744
probably me i have some hobby accounts that have thousands of followers

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Cold weather is so best. I miss the sound of crunchy snow-steps and layered warmth.
>>43485744
What is "reddit karma"?

>>43485924
Posting yourself blasting your butt with dragon dildos is not a hobby bro

>>43485151
me when i see shiza
>make a sexist remark

mascbot will literally post every race of guy in the universe except black

>>43485998
4chan be racist bro, what's new

>>43485967
then why do you keep bringing it up like it is? put the bbc dildo away

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>>43485998
it's up to you to fill in the gap

>>43486022
You're comparing apples and oranges
Bbc dildo = very cultured
Dragon dildo = low class
>>43486035
I'd fill in their gaps iykwim

glad ramen died

jeffrey dahmer biopic should be screened at theatres at this point

>>43486064
We know this is you ramen

Ich bin's

ich liebe dick

i'm not black, i'm OJ

Reminder russians are white.

>>43485701
I wouldn't care

Hit my prostate dad

>>43486143
*swings my 2 x 4* sure son

your dick is in the left pantsleg right now

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I love this rainbow little fuck.

>>43486161
wrong

>>43486139
But you are not. Not russian, nor white, nor a man.

>>43486161
i cant.

>>43486172
You wish!

Slow day here

>>43486256
Burgers haven't come home yet

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Jacket I ordered had too short sleeves. Glasses frames I ordered were kinda mid. Why must I suffer
>>43486164
Ugly

>>43486284
You really think it's ugly? Wtf

>>43486301
Ya its the colors sorry just reminds me of those cheap plushies you get at theme parks that you just kinda wanna throw away cuz they're so chopped

>>43486335
It's OK and fair, I never like your fashiony outfits
But I like seeing people post and talk about things they enjoy

>>43486360
i enjoy it when you are away and silent

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accidentally made me smoothie too thick today

Accidentally pumped me dick too big today

>>43486389
.........*GULP*

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>>43486378
Stfu mom

>>43486275
i'm back from work. what do you have for me today?

>>43486412
post hole

>>43486161
mine goes right

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Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

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>>43486425
i had an idea to post a hole i had in my ceiling but that got fixed the other day

>>43485701
good build for bottoming if you can get that paunch down

>>43485986
based

>>43486389
i'm having to lap it up with my tongue and then lick it out of my mustache. is that hot?
well, it doesn't matter. it's what i'm doing.

>>43486446
i'd fix your hole iykwim

You and your demonic ways

the shizo casino

>>43486599
The house always wins

>>43486575
his hole too

He says it every morning. He calls me shiza, he calls the other kids shiza, he calls himself shiza. All the time. Shiza this, shiza that, shiza please. Bitch shiza. Shiza have you lost your mind? Shiza check that ho. Shiza, you bullshittin. Break yourself, shiza. He says it so much I don't even notice it anymore. Last week in lunch Holden says to a classmate, "Can a shiza borrow a pierogi?" My first thought wasn't "Oh my God he said the word, t-the s-word!" It was "How is a shiza gonna borrow a pierogi? Shiza, is you gonna give it back?"

>>43486638
Wig

Name a more iconic duo than ****** and Shiza

real love is a sacrifice of oneself for another
if you're still "you" you aren't really in love
real love turns you into a vampire

>>43486658
shiza and the pierogis
shiza and golabkis
shiza and pizza
shiza and cheeze-ah
shiza and her cousin
shiza and not vegetables
shiza and having improper relationship with food
shiza and agp
shiza and crismon desert
world of shizacraft

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>>43486684

>>43486389
what did you put in it?
i always have a blueberry banana mango smoothie very morning with hawthorn berry powder, mulberries (if in season, ripe, and i can pick from the trees), aloe vera gel, and liquid vitamin

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>>43484662
hello gayges

so i've been taking a DOG SHIT zoom class lately BUT there's a very cute boy who looks (and acts) exactly like swedetwink and it has turned me mentally into a 13 year old girl. I know you're thinking "but how cute could he be really, the fat old gay men on this shit board are always posting ''''hot'''' twinks that are actually just an average 18 year old" but i'd like to confirm that this is NOT the case. he is genuinely very cute.

as if that wasn't enough, he's also a model sad boi introvert. like today i learned he gets sad and has low self esteem because he has an (unspecified) neurological disability which affects his physical mobility. he can't even drive, even though he's a car mechanic. it's so impossibly cute and retarded i want to wrap him up and take him home UwU

i might see him IRL soon due to attending the same event and i'm worried i will drop my spagett (guaranteed). in fact, i don't even think he's a gay and even if he was i wouldn't have a chance. god is punishing me hard with this one. and why did i feel the need to externalize all this shit for fags (You) to read online, anyway? i'm not normally like this at all! what the fuck is WRONG WITH ME RIGHT NOW? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

thanks for reading my blog,
with love xx

>>43486736
Post hole

>>43486658
texanon and groomable tops

>>43486316
I hope he has a thick black bush growing over his lil uncut cock

my voice goes up when im anxious or stressed and im anxious and stressed a lot of the time :w

Why did shiza detrans?

don't judge me but i wish i had been groomed as a top

>>43486774
stop it, now i'm hard

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>>43486696
if a blueberry touches my smoothie i'm not drinking it.
it's just a bunch of random shit. strawberries, greek yogurt, nuts, protein powder, vanilla, spinach, flax, whatever. the reason it was so thick today was cause i'm also trying to get rid of the last of this mango/pineapple blend so i added extra frozen fruit on top of the strawberries.

>>43486780
realized women have it harder than men and couldn't hack it even as a larping tranny

>>43486783
tops being groomed is based bottoms being groomed is pedestrian

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>>43486736
Been there. Some straight guys are so perfect it hurts. You could maybe become friends tho?
>>43486780
She thinks she's masc or something

Guys i have a confession to make. I've been doing some bug chasing lately...

>>43486803
i hate that i know this scene and agree with it. it's more a roger line than a peter line but seth has a specific humor

>>43486780
the estrogen costs were eating into her pierogi budget

>>43486822
same but the bugs always manage to outrun me :(

>>43486812
you're right. pity i was never groomed

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Push your tits together, bitch. Because I'm gonna fuck'em.

>>43486812
shiza and holden are pedestrians
>>43486780
his spell no worked works on the magic resist body neither she is that young and beautiful for his tastes

>>43486740
but i'm a post gaydeath masc top
i've barely used my hole
it isn't even shaved
nobody's interested in that kind of thing
r-right?

god i fucking hate americans.

the choices were:
>vote for the black lady
or
>pay 5$/gal

and you guys were like i'll take the rapist, i like to get fucked.

jesus christ.

Stop bullying shiza >:(

>>43486857
i'm interested in putting my penis into it

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>but i'm a post gaydeath masc top
>i've barely used my hole
>it isn't even shaved
>nobody's interested in that kind of thing
>r-right?

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>>43486838
Chasing insects outside now that it's Spring! What kind of bugs were you talking about...?

>>43486871
Ants. I'm very slow...

>>43486863
Is trump even popular outside of his own cult?

>>43486863
Impossible choice between a black retard and an orange retard. They were fucked either way.

>>43486904
don't take the bait

>>43486870
omg where did you get this picture of me

have any of you ever been dped

>>43486870
is this jager?

>>43486851
I'd rather suck on his nipples and put my dick in his belly button

>>43486919
no. i would if i could find 2 guys i was into. you?

>>43486870
If he got a haircut, used moisturizer, and smiled he'd look way better

>>43486925
is your dick small anon?

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2.56 MB JPG

>>43486919
I want to try

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what the fuck are you doing

>>43486780
after break up with ex i realized i dont rly wanna date bisexual gynephiles and hrt makes you weak and retarded, i wasnt ever full in on the trans thing was just more of a dating thing always intended to live as a man otherwise, was also a massive dissonance with my chud politics

>>43486941
No. But would I have to put the whole thing in?

still not voting for the genocidal warmongering anti-immigrant antiqueer ex-district attorney who wanted to make Black women the face of US imperialism and its atrocities

>>43486949
i don't know, i've never fucked a belly button. doesn't seem pleasurable

>>43486930
i wanna try dping a guy one day but i don’t know how feasible rubbing cocks in a third guys asshole really is

>>43486924
No luv wrong assigned sex at birth, Jug's a poon that think she's a man with big tits and plagues this gen like her life depends on it and not her magic pills that stops her from killing herself.

>>43486947
your a week retard even without hrt, and there's no reason it would make someone less intelligent at all

>>43486963
how would you know what it does and doesn't do ma'am

>>43486947
Sounds like you're not different with or without hrt

I'm getting my bussy entered tomorrow
Exciting stuff

>>43486971
reading

>>43486959
seems doable in porn, not sure it's enjoyable tho. i feel like it's the type of thing i would do if i was like a teenager with a bunch of horny bros. it gets harder to just do random sex shit to try it out once you're an adult. unless you're into saunas i guess

>>43486962
Your obsession is more annoying than anything.

>>43486947
so you've had a bipedo ex and took hornomes because he wanted to see you a whore moaning as female and you've let that happen? was it holden or the other of your exes that is from other school and we don't know about? they operate in similar ways, same even i'd say

>>43486999
it was his dad

>>43486985
uhuh, anyway, it makes you dumber because it makes you more fatigued which impacts your ability to think right, its not complex, u have a lot more reading to do nigga

>>43486991
You are the most annoying fake ESL fake bitch than anything else ever.

it's more like some one asked you: would you pay 5$/gal for gas so you can call trannies men and openly hate brown people ans you guys were like sign us right the fuck up.

status quo or you can openly be bigots in exchange for fucking the economy and you guys were just like fuck the economy.

>>43487008
>it makes you more fatigued
lol

>>43487008
>>43485199

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>>43486947
>hrt makes you weak and retarded
Permanently from what I can tell

>>43487008
That isn't true at all. You got "fatigue" from becoming fat. If anything women just are more annoying because the hormones, but you act like hormonal woman anyway
>>43487013
>"no you"
Got em

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>>43487008
lupron depot is an injectable puberty blocker they give the kids. it literally retards them.

>>43487033
Giggled irl

>>43487006
was it? why did he do this? did he try to sell shiza as a milk tit cow and save his farmville from bankruptcy like in old times when they wed their daughters but had few cows and pigs and goats in return? ewww why is poland so stuck in medieval old times?

>>43484786
More alive than you are.

>>43487036
>Got em
You got cystic fibrosis that will rip the remains of your uterus or whatever abomination you have down there to shreds and eventually hopefully kill you and a host of mental and venereal diseases luv.

>>43487042
its more meant for those children who have precocious puberty, it delays puberty so they get a few more years of being a child
imagine being a 9 year old girl with double d's in elementary school, that would be traumatizing

>>43487036
okay regardless far more energetic and strong now even though im 90% sure my testosterone is not back to the same level as before

>>43487069
why would you reply to a 5 hour post with this weak ass shit genuinely

>>43487008
None of these shiftless victim blaming faggots deserve your explanations, btw, it wasn't your fault, and they don't even care to know the truth of the matter they just want an outlet for their misery.

>>43487086
You're still here 5 hours later. Point proven.

>>43487099
>victim blaming faggots
......like shiza?

>>43487117
beautiful t boy

>>43487111
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world without depth perception. Sorry every victim isn't a perfect pillar of high morals, you're still being disgusting at this moment.

>>43487099
not interested in responsibility or blaming so idrgaf, its not material its not productive

>>43487081
>imagine being a 9 year old girl with double d's in elementary school, that would be traumatizing
GIWTWM!!!!!!!!!

>>43487122
i'd put my t in his boy hole iykwim

This is an extremely retarded anon

Busting all overt shiza's fat ass on a crowded train.

Hello

just found out shiza's parents are billionaires

>>43487140
hi

>>43487138
ive seen that jav

>>43487154
Is there a porno you haven't seen?

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>>43487162
well u cant see it all but ive seen a lot...

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>an eye for an eye...
Never believed in this one
Be a kind person but
Give what you get. Fafo and allat
>>43487033
How are you feeling?

>>43487162
It comes up on all 3 orientation filters of a popular porn site if you are searching for humiliation or cum focused porn.

>>43487173
Living up to your pornsick AGP goon "girl" legacy

imagine if we had one thread that people didn't circlejerk around one or two tripfags for 300+ posts

also sorry about my lyme disease it causes me to make grammatical errors :/

>>43487175
>an eye for an eye
until the whole world is blind

>>43487081
i think she'd be popular. it's the parents that can't let their little girl blossom into a woman.

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*hip thrusts at you*

without trip talk id just use /hm/ instead lol

>>43487207
tripfags are always attacked like shiza or jager. you have to be a strong minded narcissist to tripfag

>>43487232
do that on my dick

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I can't wait to eat. I have an amazing curry cooking.

>>43487173
hapas are so cute

>>43487232
what compels grown men to act like this

>>43487081
my brother had that, he was born with a big penis and adult sized balls, so many family jokes about it, he also was born with six pack of abs that were already defined unlike most chubby fat babies, not even making this up

>>43487260
i think hes just latinx actually

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Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, ah yeah

>>43487268
unfucked prostates

>>43487270
your brother could have been the big dicked sadistic shota we all dream of

>>43487270
how big is his pp

>>43487289
shut the fuck up paige/thorny/modesto/shiza/holden/******/******/debaser/rexie/freshie/cdc

I was watching videos on the unite the right rally from 2017 and saw paige in the background matching with Nazis lol

>>43487211
Such a stupid quote/belief
>>43487207
I would like that a lot
I dont even trip anymore loll

>>43487290
we never had that talk but last time i saw it when we were teens he was well hung, he also would get aches in his balls a lot because they hanged low and is at risk at getting torsion

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waiting on an email

Fucking shiza off HRT:
>yes please! can we go another round? maybe two more if I can drain your balls completely... give it to me my love
Fucking shiza on HRT:
>you know what, I'm tired, I have a headache, I have a lot of work to do, my back hurts, it's that time of the month, I have an early meeting

>>43487330
is he single? i can help

>>43487343
>it's that time of the month
you do know hrt doesn't give trannies periods right

>>43487330
is your brother gay too? is he hot? is he hung? is he a dom top?

>>43487359
he's making an american dad reference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcrG_TcI97A

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https://www.webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/boyfriends/episode-1/viewer?title_no=2616&episode_no=1
https://www.webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/boyfriends/list?title_no=2616&page=24

anyone else read this cute shit?

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one hapa bf please

>>43487380
no but i would if they were masc boyfriends

I miss the times when shiza was on HapaWiki, alongside eden too...

>>43487380
no it looks retarded.

shiza isnt hapa

>>43487405
is eden still in jail? that hoe was crazy