Am I even trans if I can only feel fear and dread at the thought of passing? I'm not even remotely close to passing, nor will I ever manage to pass without surgery, but even despite that, the thought of being seen as a woman is enough to make me nauseous. Like, I despise being a man and wish I were a woman, but I can only imagine feeling even more male if I were to pass as a woman
>>43496756nope
>>43496756people like OOP original are so fucking pathetic tbhon. normalfags who constantly spew 'advice' that's just them self-aggrandizing to project their flaws onto an audience so they can pretend it's all heckin over and aren't responsible for their own mistakes are the lowest of the low. 'working so heckin hard man' doesn't equate to actual life experience, it just means you bought into american propaganda and unironically think work will bring you salvation. it's so pathetic how the most braindead fools will pretend to be a sage of wisdomanyways no take your meds. you're just insecure and mentally ill because you're in a society that hates your tranny ass bad. drop these insecurities. this is an excellent opportunity in that your repressed emotions and fears/insecurities manifested that way, you can face and therefor destroy them by working on your transition for your own sake. the idea that you aren't really trans is fueled by fear, not thought.
i think passing is rad but also it fucked me up when i started passing. i don't think it was for the same reasons exactly but to me it was confusing and scary. i wish i had thought about how it might feel before hand instead of deluding myself that it was over and i never would, because the adjustment was hard. i think you have two choices OP. you could spiral and use this to get crazy like how >>43497588 is warning against. or you could use this as a point to reflect - how will you feel when you pass? how you describe in OP is a symptom of insecurities, and if you spend some time working on them now you will find it easier to adjust to passing and just be able to enjoy it.
>>43496756Clown type fearsLike being worried that trying to look cool only looks even more cringe because it's so "unnatural" to have to try. That with all of the skin deep conditions met, you'll surprise people with some Eldritch clocking feature that makes all the pretty melt away and turns it into something hideous and repugnant. People don't look that deep nona. It won't stop scaring you any time soon, but if you look the part people stop investigating fast. If you pass you pass, there's no magical way to fuck it up, the first glance is all people use to decide if they're not retarded and schizo
>>43497785>Clown type fearsThen I must be the funniest clown there is, performing for no audience but my own misery.
