>Can't masturbate with hands due to 0-depth bottom surgery>1 month in>demisexual nesting partner has a vibe. Its the only clitoral vibe we have right now and I stupidly forgot to buy one before the surgery>I'm way too awkward and shy, even with my almost-wife, to ask if I can casually test it like the post-op person says I could plus I'm not sure if she understands it's okay anyway and probably won't let me. Also Id have to clean it and get rid and stuff and it makes noises so I still can't masturbate silently before I fall asleep like I'm used to doing...>hard for me to even do as much normal physical intimacyYou'd think itd be hot to have her control my horniness and for me to not be able to do anything about it, but not like this it isn't...I'm so horny and tired and kinda touch-starved... I feel so gross wanting to get off, too, because it seems so gross to me...Not only that but my partner is fucking grieving and my secondary partner (that I happen to have; long story) is also dealing with some complex bullshit.This process is just so annoying. I really don't know if I have it in me to get the canal. I might just have to stop here. This already seems like so much... I mean, I can handle it just fine I guess, but goddamn... I just hate that I can't be independent in anything. Maybe if my partner was a bit less vanilla and I was better at communicating that I'm not going to die if I get turned on and reassure her that I won't be in constant sex mode all the time regardless, I could make something about this manageable, but then again, that's only if it wasn't so fucking gross down there right now...I really hope this weird monster thing on my crotch heals well. Sure, its a great surgery and I feel way, way, way better after it even now, but Idk if she realizes how hard this is. I want to tell her, but when I try to talk about these things it's just so hard to get the words out and I feel so, so vulnerable.
>>43502906Oh I selected the wrong image. Looks way too depressed. That's not quite it. Oh well.
>>43502906just buy another vibe? and do it in the bathroom?why did you get 0 depth srs?
how did the surgery go?
>>43502906wtf is a nesting partner. is it one of those
>>43502906>polyshit nonsense you brought this on yourself
>>43502906Yikes
>>43502906Yeah but if you touch it in the first 8 weeks you have a good chance to get lost in the sauce and damage the nerves before they have a chance to heal. 12 weeks is ideal. Look, I’ve been there, for like 3 different mods and procedures. You feel a bit cranky. If you’re really struggling, go down on your prog. But! No nut is worth of the risk of being your last. Stay safe.
>>43502906imagine cutting your penis off for a fetish
>>43502906>my gf who sleeps across the hall won't let me use her vibrator because we haven't workshopped the terms and conditions of our situationship yetIdk try throwing some therapy talk at them like "Hey there person who I have currently undefined boundaries with, how would you feel if I tried to get in on your vibe, and by your vibe I mean your vibrator, I would like to borrow it."
>>43502906What if you could fuck a plushie to get some relief?Oops sorry, no dick to do that! :P
>>43503027>Why?Faster. Live in America. Also, its part of a surgical style where I can get the canal later. I probably will get the canal later, but I need to process all that this entails.Im in a Legally Distinct From Gay Spouses relationship. And even if I do get the canal, its actually still faster than the other way cuz electrolysis backs up the process. That's the main wait list; hair removal. Its insane. I'm dependent on insurance cuz I ain't rich and live in a blue area.Even so, I was both dysphoric towards and scared of having a penis. Regardless, they advised me that this is the preferred method of getting a vag: get one of the stages, then get offered a second. I don't mind. >just buy another vibe?Yeah but it makes noises. I can't be private about it so much and I'm dependent on my partner while I'm in recovery; I get tired very easily and we have no car, so I need her there and I just... I'm not used to not doing things on my own. I'm like 37 and have been with a partner for only about two and a half years of my life. Before that, I was a lonely, but fairly independent girl. I'm not used to this. And it's so gross down there right now... I feel like she'll associate it with bad things and find it gross if we go to a sex shop while we can't have sex to get something for my bloody, injured, vag... As it stands with the healing and all, it feels almost like going to an IBS paraphernalia store to take care of some loose stools and having my girlfriend there to talk shop about diarrhea with the employees.Something like that, anyway.At this point, I'm horny, but I do not feel sexy, like towards how I look and such. To be clear, yes, it does help the dysphoria and everything but it still needs to heal...Also, my gf is disabled and obsessed with schedules and sex shops are open late, so it's kinda hard. We're usually in bed by 9.
>>43503089It went very well. I'm still healing though, but it is going smoothly>>43503495I'm barely poly and that has nothing to do with my post. I don't really care for all those labels and such anyway. Its a lot more mature and reasonable and circumstantial than it sounds. I know.>>43503503I'm following my surgeons advice with all of this :/
>>43503646Anon, what the fuck are you even talking about? Do you know how vulvas work?
>>43502906>casually I meant to type cautiously btw
>>43503495poly "people" are not fully human>>43503488it's a poly thing, its basically the person they live with. you may think that this is their most important partner but it doesnt really work like that for poly "people" as they don't really form emotional connections at all
>>43503640>undefined boundaries>sleeps across the wholeNo?... We live together and it is going well although you're also not wrong I should just ask her and am probably making this a bigger deal than I should.Now that you mention it.We did talk about it I just um......I don't know. I'm so incredibly shy and nervous that I act that way even towards close friends and family. Its a problem. I often can't get words out when I talk about things like this.God I knew I shouldn't have mentioned the whole secondary thing. Its really more like I just have a casual lover every once and a while who I'm allowed to also openly reciprocate having a crush on.Its been going very well. I can't see myself without my primary girlfriend. The other girlfriend is just sort of a thing I was able to keep going without any issues or conflicts, provided this person just stays a secondary or whatever. We all get along well and everything. I just feel so insecure about my healing genitals.
>>43503969Do you fuck with a vulva anon? Do YOU know how vagoos even work?
>>43503924I think that right now you really need to talk with your partner tell her about what you're feeling, if she loves you and is helping with your recovery, you shouldnt take her love so lightly that just because you're in recovery from a post op she would think you're gross. relationship sooner or later involves really gross things and both partners should be ready to deal with it.>>43504046if you have problems getting words out,why not trying to write them down? sometimes when I get huge burnouts I basically cant speak at all so I use a small notebook if I need to say something
