>>43523837
Also did I mention I'm black?? So there's a lot more pressure on losing my family i.e. if my girlfriend is white and I lose my family and current black friends there's probably there little other black people that I will run into.

This has happened before too, I was friends with cis lesbians that somehow caught onto me liking femboy shit (didn't know I had dysphoria) and shunned me and said they wouldn't hang out with me anymore if they ever saw it again. A few of them were childhood friends.

>>43523837
dont tell them? wear a mask? edit your own videos so your face and tattoo dont show? make a second anon account for internet friends?

if they see it just deny and flip it around and accuse them, why the fuck are they looking at whatever they ask you about

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>>43523837
>>43523888
It's ok to goon as long as you're not hurting anyone and keeping it to yourself. but yeah I feel you. the shame that comes with being a gooner still hurts. I channel all of the horniness into my artwork honestly.

im also part black so I get how you feel. The problem with other blacks is they're not as accepting as they probably think they are. I mean shit, blacks on average aren't even accepting of gays let alone trannies. idk.

I relate though.

the only reason i sleep with my underpants off is because i get discharge and need to let the minge air out. was the sheets once a week or more.

>>43523837
Friend, I'm not religious or anything like that, I promise. I mean, I'm in a poly relationship for fucks sake. So just wanna be clear I'm not gonna shame or anything...

That said, as a fellow trans person, I ask that you please be careful. We tend to go a little further into kinky shit than most other people. Putting your photo out on the internet and having relationships with people online who you haven't met in person (which I've done and actually still keep up with a couple) is extremely risky. There's waaaay too much that you simply don't know.
Same with pics online.

And that public humiliation shit and everything... I mean if you stay safe kink is safe, but there ARE limits. Especially if you are at all into men and, unfortunately, *especially* if you are black. Hell, if I was black and bi/pan, I wouldn't even consider experimenting personally, though I'm getting out of my depth here and I digress...

Anyway, know that kink is addictive. There really are people that become addicted to being controlled, being hurt excessively having no money, or putting oatmeal inside themselves or else, in some extremes, they can not get off.

You can be kinky, but please try not to ever let it hurt your actual life. I've come to realize that some of my kink might just be weird toxic femininity bullshit where I don't feel pretty unless a man wants me in a certain way or something (I prefer women, for context) or I just act submissive, even to women I'm into, in general. If this stays controlled, it's fine, but if I don't control it, I know from experience that it becomes an issue. Please just be careful and maybe consider changing some of those habits and directions.

Least that is my two cents

>>43525345
>>43523837
(to be clear, I still am VERY kinky btw. Like, if my partner was up for it, I would do more submissive roleplay/foreplay like impossible tasks and stuff, but I have to stick with more or less the basics as it stands, like occasional bondage. Its a long story).

>>43524799
>dont tell them?
>if they see it just deny and flip it around and accuse them, why the fuck are they looking at whatever they ask you about
So if my current crush ever became my girlfriend and posted a picture of me or if I tagged her in my story you would instantly go to her page and see a picture of her on a leash. You can assume a lot about me already from that. I do currently have a second anon account and it's chill but it quickly becomes a small world. I.E. people I know irl will occasionally pop up. It becomes even weirder because when someone is attractive on there you sort of have to "bridge the gap" between your IRL world and theirs, like I know a lot of people on there I'd love to know irl even if they're freaks but how am I supposed to when its an anon account and I don't give out any location.
>edit your own videos so your face and tattoo dont show
I don't know if I could even do that without it being obvious.

>>43524981
>It's ok to goon as long as you're not hurting anyone and keeping it to yourself. but yeah I feel you. the shame that comes with being a gooner still hurts.
It sucks because like. I need to talk to some of these people about how they do things/what they do. But when they put themselves out there with their face and their location and I'm a random anonymous account online there's a lot less for them to attach to. So it's a zero sum situation.

>>43525345
>>43525365
Hey you're literally preaching to the choir. Like I know this, and it's my worst fear. I really don't want an online relationship, or pictures of me out there. That's why I made this post. That shit could actually hurt my life and I'm trying to keep it away. But it's hard to stay away from base desires and unfortunately very wrapped up in my trans identity and sexuality. Like I'd never publicly humiliate myself.
>Hell, if I was black and bi/pan, I wouldn't even consider experimenting personally,
Easier said than done, but I'm not into men at all and definitely not into hooking up with random people.

It's just sad. I have nowhere to go. I've never had a real relationship so I can't go on fetlife or some shit when I'm so unexperienced, yet I can't hop on Tinder or whatever else pretending that I'm not trying to eventually have kinky sex at some point. Can't opt out of being kinky either, I mean it's what I'm into and to have a partner not be ok with it would break my heart. I'm just stuck.

Publicly uploading nudes/videos is one of my biggest regrets. I did it a ton early into starting E, but I've since grown out of that all-consuming horniness. Yes my family and friends found my porn account. Yes it was an actual nightmare. I still can't escape the shame when I'm around them. I feel like I can't publish my art anymore without risk of my past resurfacing. I don't think it's immoral to be a whore or whatever, live your life and screw anyone who judges you. Being a gooner is just another way to kill time. Just please think carefully about whether it's something you too might regret or grow out of. It can't really be undone

>>43525582
How did it happen if you mind me asking?
>all-consuming horniness.
Yeah I feel that exactly. I don't want to become a puritan or sexless being in the future but I kind of wish it was more manageable, or at least that I had an outlet for it that didn't feel like assaulting or sexually harassing myself.

>>43523837
tbqh you need to lock ts down for about 10 months. if you're still a gooned out tranny after 1y hrt (injections on a good dose) then accept it but just incase it goes away (did for me eventually) you should really try to avoid the embarassment

>>43525734
lock ts down? Like avoid being horny for 10 months? What is it that you think I do?

>>43525755
i mean you can be horny and goon but not do it in front of others? don't get into a relationship earlytrans, hooking up with strangers is fine in moderation, and being overly horny online or in public is always a bad idea

>>43525774
I mean I don't think I will goon in front of others I will probably never upload pics of my face. My worry is that a year+ from now, I will be in the same thought process. Earlytrans relationships I know not to get into and a part of me is fine never attempting to contact anybody romantically until I'm happy with myself. Another part of me though, is constantly experiencing a more intense version of the repressed yearning-angry-horny-sadness that I felt when I was repressing and the only outlet for that feeling is being with someone or masturbating or making up a fantasy that keeps me in bed for hours. I don't know how long I can stave off that feeling.

any mtf pervs wanna cuddle and maybe pet me
cis moid

>>43525726
Idk how it happened but my brother found my account. I assume he read my @ over my shoulder one day or snuck onto my computer or maybe just stumbled upon it. I was pretty volatile at that point in my life, and I desperately wanted the attention of other trannies in my city. Sex was the best way to get it I guess. Everyone I interacted with online acted like it was a normal part of "the culture". I had very serious plans to film videos of myself being fucked and tortured as a sort of fake snuff film thing. I was going to do it with people I hardly knew while high out of my mind, then let them post it. Only reason I didn't follow through was because my family stopped me lol. Most of the people I knew from around that time have since cycled out of the culture, deleted their accounts, moved on, whatever.

I also had old high school friends reach out after years going "yo this you?" which was mortifying. I don't want people to remember me that way.

I gotta be annoying and bump this cause Im still curious
>>43525991
Fucking sucks anon, I'm sorry. I hope you haven't beaten yourself up about it since then.