I don't know how to cope anymore. I want to get better, I want to live my life my way but I know that I can't. Even if I was allowed to, which societally I'm not, I'd never allow myself to be myself. I will always have to play this character for as long as I'm alive. There's no future in this world but I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself. I hate myself more than anything else, I wish I could just be happy. I'll never be able to be myself both because the world I live in will likely kill me for it and because I can never let myself be happy. I wish I could just die, or better yet have never existed at all. Being alive hurts and both ways of ending the pain are beyond my reach. I'm stuck in this body that disgusts me, I started too late to get any real results and my only option is to rep or rope. I can't do the latter and the former is just hell. I just want the pain to end. I just want to be seen for who I am instead of some disgusting male shaped subhuman filth. I need to kill myself. I will never be allowed to be happy, nor will my body allow me to. I need to die as soon as possible before someone kills me for being a disgusting degenerate tranny. I need to die. I need to die. I can't keep going, I will never be happy and I need to die as soon as possible. I wish I wasn't a pussy. Trans joy is a myth, trans pride is a lie, there's nothing enjoyable about seeing everyone and everything say that we're subhuman filth. We are universally hated, there's no world in which we are ever seen as anything more than subhuman filth. I wish I was never born, I wish I could have just been born a girl, not a disgusting mutant freak subhuman filth piece of shit. Death is the only option for me, I need to die. There's no point in living when I will never be me. Everyone hates us, it's dangerous to go outside, everyone would be happy if I killed myself. My life has been completely wasted and there's nothing ahead of me other than wanting to die and being hated. Fuck living
>>43533266Im sorry baby :(, I'd love to listen to you if you wanna talk about anything
>>43533276What is there to talk about? There's not a single cis person on the planet who is supportive of trans people. There's some who'll pretend but that's all it is. I'll never be seen as who I am, only as the ugly subhuman filth I was. There's no world in which I'll be able to be happy, I only exist to suffer and die. Why would I even bother trying anything to transition when no matter what I will never be able to convincingly disguise myself as a real woman
