>read my book
Why do they do this shit?

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>>43536636
>Look into her eyes instead to distract myself.
>God, I'm so lucky she pretends i'm a woman....
>I get to live in this little world with her if I just block it all out. :)
>we change positions
>lie face down into the mattress
>hhhhfjlsdfds
penetration
>waow
... wait ouch :(
>kinda don't feel anything but pain now
>"how do you feel?"
>".. good!"
lie
>waow tho...
>gets so painful i start looking forward to the end: "how close are you?"
>"oh i could go an hour ^^ ..."
"... are you sure you're doing good?"

>everything i've been feeling through the day flashbangs me
>start crying but try to hide it in the pillow
>flashbanged by daydream fantasies from when i was a kid and coped with dysphoria by spacing out and imagining a life where i was a girl.
>i'm so so far from what i dreamed of...
>that life is impossible for me.
>god i wish i had a vagina
>god i wish i was born a woman
>god i wish she actually got to have a real gf.
>unlike what i am now.
>guilt at how ugly i am
>wonder what it would be like to be mentally well enough to have a family at my age.. something normal for cis people without trauma..
>wonder how having sex the way i want must feel.
>...how fulfilling that must be to be able to live that life.
>immediately start bawling
>i just start sobbing incoherent nonsense into her chest and apologizing
massive aura loss desu :(


this has happened the last times we've had sex like this.
how do i not do this? trans girls how are you able to bottom?
i don't think im a top (i would blow my brains out if i had to use It)
but this definitely isn't how i imagine bottoming to go either :(

>>43536642
i warned u with a "STORYTIME" at the top!!! :(

ur supposed to not read it if u don't want to :(

>>43536681
ouch, i'm so sorry nona, i feel this so much, i've had similar experiences. even up to the lube being next to tampons and shit. maybe you can do other things besides anal in the meantime. i hopehope we can get srs someday
>t. t4t bottom

>>43536636
so true nona i cant wait till i can get srs

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>>43536636
Stop doing anal then fag

You’re not even a gay man enough to bottom you’re just an amab who got groomed by porn

>>43536636
I'm sorry that your life is difficult, and I'm sorry if this is flaunting privilege as a cis bottom, but when I buy lube I'm not ashamed. Being a sex haver is healthy and good.

As for all the other things, how old are you now?
Do you see a long term future with your gf?
Would you guys ever raise kids?
Your insanity in this story seems to be mostly anxious neuroticism which feels terrible, but is pretty overcomable with cbt, unless you have other issues.

>>43536681
Don't lie. if it doesn't feel good, just say you need to change the angle or position or need more lube or whatever the issue is.

Secondly, how would you feel if your GF felt this way about herself? Also, she's literally in your guts, she's attracted to you, you need to figure out an effective thought stopping cope to break patterned thought, because you are going to silently undermine your trust for your GF and end up hating her for no reason, or self sabotaging.

>>43538419
>I'm sorry if this is flaunting privilege as a cis bottom
nah okay i'll take whatever advice i can get
>but when I buy lube I'm not ashamed. Being a sex haver is healthy and good.
desu true. i do need to get over this... bc even when i have a srsussy i'll probs need lube... ik cishet couples even need lube sometimes.
it would be nice to not need it though still T~T but that's just dysphoria... i shouldn't be embarrassed
>how old are you now?
23
>Do you see a long term future with your gf?
desu yeah :)
>Would you guys ever raise kids?
probably not :\
rly hard to adopt
extra hard if you're gay
extra extra hard if you're trans
impossibly extra super hard if ur clocky (probably will never pass bc gigaheighthon)
> Your insanity
Do i really come across that bad ;~;
>seems to be mostly anxious neuroticism which feels terrible, but is pretty overcomable with cbt, unless you have other issues.
i defs have other issues but maybe one day i can try cbt

>>43538153
Indeed. People are rising up, and starting to worship adolf hitler.

>>43538981
also idk if she even wants them.
also i have pregnancy dysphoria too but there's nothing i can do about that. and even if i could i morally shouldn't..... :\

>>43538459
>don't lie
but if i can just cope maybe i will get to a point where it's alright thoo!

>change the angle or position or need more lube or whatever the issue is.
desu shortened the story we did change a couple times

>how would you feel if your GF felt this way about herself?
wdym? like all of it? super bottom dysphoric + guilt at how things r + yearning for the impossible?
idk her thoughts on the whole family thing.. or if she feels dysphoria about bottoming like this. but i do know she has dysphoria and wishes for cisness too and i feel rly bad for her & try my best to support her

> Also, she's literally in your guts, she's attracted to you,
tbf that's not a guarantee... but i do know shes attracted to me in general. i just wish i could be prettier and feel better and look better for her in these moments and not ruin things.

>you need to figure out an effective thought stopping cope to break patterned thought
I know that's my problem :( i have these thought spirals that get triggered and it's hard to stop the spiral.
>pregnancy
>children
>period product ads i get spammed with for some reason
>short people
literally seeing these things is massive psychic damage

> because you are going to silently undermine your trust for your GF and end up hating her for no reason, or self sabotaging
idk how that would happen i can't rly forsee that but ig i don't want that to happen.

I guess i know my problem is i'm insane but i rly want to know how other nonas cope with this.
Am i alone in feeling this way?

>>43536759
how do u cope u have a bf right? do u have these issues? (sry if prying too much)

>>43538153
trvke

>>43536681
tldr ywnbaw hope this helps

>>43536681
im straight but this used to happen to me every time. I only solved it by getting srs

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>>43541268
wait srsussy actualy fixed you
so srs feels different than this it rly helps that much?! :O
what method did u get...? (& with who...)

i might actually be lucking out on this ..so i might be able to actually get a srsussy one day.. and i'm praying it fixes me. tysm for hopefuel

idk i just don't have sex

don't really have sex drive and am very ugly anyway so no problem

>>43541416
interesting ty.

>>43541374
I got penile inversion with dr Salim in SF. It's not the best, but it was free with insurance.

SRussy doesnt hurt to use, no prep, actually had erogoneous zones on it, and there is no dick flapping around remind u ur a man.

its harder to cum tho.

>>43536636
is your gf a top

>>43542308
tysm for info!

>SRussy doesnt hurt to use, no prep, actually had erogoneous zones on it, and there is no dick flapping around remind u ur a man.
GOD I NEED AAAAAgh....

>its harder to cum tho.
i can't do that anyway bc dysphoria lol so no biggie.

>>43542584
she's subby switch who can be dominant and is okay with topping me.
she's like rly obsessed with me it's rly cute i love her... <3

(also no i don't force her to top! i like super clarify what she's feeling/wants/if she wants it rn. i rly don't want to be the evil selfish bottom who forces the trans girl to top... T~T)

have you considered abandoning the original sin
saving up for srs and ffs(if youre ugly) and having a normal healthy family
walkkkk awaaay from the transbian lifestylleeeee ohhhh
yeahhhh
fr though I could never be a lesbian and trans it sounds awful especially with using natal genitals and all just yuck the story reads very gay maley
something something seek jesus and the holy st4t

speaking of gay male you guys gotta stop using this top bottom language
>mfw when my ideal world is where a man pretending to be a woman who wants to date a woman pretending to be a man
how do i justify my identity

>>43543089
>have you considered abandoning the original sin
like adam and eve style?
i will never stop eating and i will never stop being a fruit :gay_hand:

>saving up for srs and ffs(if youre ugly)
oh ffs plans are under way already (uber lucky !!)
srs potentially maybe possibly too i hope

>and having a normal healthy family
i'm not normal tho :(
t.ranny

>walkkkk awaaay from the transbian lifestylleeeee ohhhh
to what? some chaser who fetishizes me and leaves me for a cis girl when i'm 30 and he wants kids?
i am a gigaheighthon tranny, no man would want me. but that's fine! i love her + i would never leave her. and she makes me the happiest person ever.
i am rly happy in this.

> yeahhhh
nooo

>fr though I could never be a lesbian and trans it sounds awful
i mean the trans part is the problem mostly lol

>especially with using natal genitals and all just yuck the story reads very gay maley
how is being a straight trans girl any different it's lowkey more gay maley cause there literally is a male.

>something something seek jesus and the holy st4t
i'm 6'5" i wouldn't do that to a trans guy :\
as much as i'd be okay with dating one i think it'd hurt too much for both of us.
also read too many stories here about the rare good st4tcouples not working out when it's heighthon4heightdood.
>everyone thought i was his mom being incestuous
like no thanks :(

>speaking of gay male you guys gotta stop using this top bottom language
what else do i call it? "Mascs, femmes, stone, butch, stud, soft, dyke, boi, pillow princess" none of that applies...
also wait- lesbians literally do use top/bottom what r u talking about. Like why do you think they call them stone tops lol.
Maybe i'm an icky larping faketrans agp transbian or whatever, but you're a hussie straggot why are you acting like you know lesbian language lol.

>>43543319
>how is being a straight trans girl any different it's lowkey more gay maley cause there literally is a male.
trans women are males. It is male-to-male either way
>"how is doing anal with a male lesbian while using gay man terms and talking about lube more gay than being in a straight relationship with a man and having a family?"
hmmm
the real answer is straight trans woman soulpass more often
>i'm 6'5" i wouldn't do that to a trans guy :\
wow
im 5'5 lmao literally 1 foot down
I would love to marry an attractive trans guy and we would both get srs and it would be peak :>
idk ive never minded short guys
>Maybe i'm an icky larping faketrans agp transbian or whatever, but you're a hussie straggot why are you acting like you know lesbian language lol.
fair enough

>>43536636
sorry to say but it kinda sounds like a you issue. never had an issue with anything i do while bottoming cuz its fucking awesome & i love my partner
>t. hsts

>>43536636
don't buy lube at the grocery store you dumb freak (buy Xlube online like a high IQ freak, it makes things so much easier)
also read this:
https://github.com/regdude/anal

>>43543956
>trans women are males.
whar lol
>It is male-to-male either way
okay but u literally mentioned st4t tho, if you're being transphobic that doesn't make sense what are you even saying anymore?? also you were calling ME gay male coded...

>the real answer is straight trans woman soulpass more often
fish in body but bricky in soul it's over for me. </3

>im 5'5 lmao literally 1 foot down
yeah it's bleak up here. highkey probs gonna 41 me one day.
>I would love to marry an attractive trans guy and we would both get srs and it would be peak :>
Real that is peak.. I was not against that. I don't mind short guys either. I actually think they are cute/hot, (especially if buff and strong)
but that wasn't on the table for someone like me. trans men are still men, and there are a million other shorter / prettier women out there, so that probably wouldn't last either.
and all the trans guys i knew were gigafembrained and malebrained in a scary way (good friends but not my type. i don't want to be the abusive transbian4gayden trope lol. 4chan idealized st4t is actually rly hard to find...)

>>43544913
cont..
also t4transbianism is rly nice esp when you're both trutrans gigastacies and passoids(at heart :shh:) who support each other in transitions ^.^ <3

>>43544349
right but how do you get over the mindset of it? :(
like the dysphoria...
I don't have issues with toys. I don't have issues if I'm high/drunk to think about it. It's just... Maybe I set my expectations too high? (not on my gf, but on myself and in general)
Like duh: obviously my shithole is going to be gross and complicated to fuck and isn't going to feel like a vagina and can't be romanticized why would it be. Why should i want or expect that? I'm not female. I'm a bottom amab, it'd be faketrans skill issue to not instinctively know how to take it up the ass like a woman...

>>43544570
>also read this:
>https://github.com/regdude/anal
thanks. i have read that a long time ago. maybe i forgot some but ik *how* to bottom i just struggle with it bc dysphoria (and then ig this time it hurt for some reason maybe shitty grocery lube idk)

like
>wow yay a massive complicated megadoc on how to have sex that i have to study
>how to clean out shit
>how to alter my diet for sex so i don't have issues painting them
ewewew
>how to work out (sometimes for months if you're really cooked)
>how to mentally cope with the feeling of it.
and then when i do all that. it still doesn't work! bc i'm too sad that i can't fulfill this phantom sensation of what my body wants...

>>43538153
people dominated by evil acts never have a speck of the mountains of composure their facade claims. you are an urchin, sorry.

>>43545018
you just have a skill issue THOUGH

Do troons really?

>>43542717
>super clarify what she's feeling/wants/if she wants it rn. i rly don't want to be the evil selfish bottom who forces the trans girl to top
>>43536681
>>kinda don't feel anything but pain now
lol what if your both lying

i dont think its supposed to hurt btw

>>43536636
>>43536681
I'm not really lgbt but I really like the way you write, and I'm sorry for what you've gone through

>>43547388
Idk some do


>>43547758
> lol what if your both lying
Ive asked like 10000 times if shes lying id lowkey be so mad.
I lied too but thats bc i was coping and i broke immediately.. I’ve double checked with her every single time

tall man 4 tall man is hot.

so why is heighthon 4 heighthon so gross

t. fujoshi

>>43543319
Nigga is 6'5 typing like this

>>43551009
>be 6'5" and type malebrained
>"faketrans amab soul male socialization"

>be 6'5" and type fembrained
>"lol ur giant tho. why r u typing like that"

heighthons stay losing ;-;

>>43551080
I would dick you the fuck down don't worry about it princess

Shoulda frotted your nice penises together until all the transbian sperm dribbled out onto each other

>>43551144
>Princess
>He's the size of a door

damn i would be so happy if i had that. like i think that's literally everything i would have ever been looking for. a t4t relationship where both are switches. i would do anything to have that, i've never been able to have t4t.

>>43544913
Trans women are all males or at the very least intersex in some weird way
I don’t know what’s confusing about this your post is describing two people with male genitals engaging in sodomy
This is as male as it gets bucko
Nothing transphobic about acknowledging reality

>>43551682
same and same

also 6'5 btw ;.;

>>43552856
Having sex with male genitals = male genitals being used in sex.
I wonder why pre-srs t4t sc4t trans girls have sex like gay men. what could possibly lead to that.

>>43553043
i'm 5'5 but height doesn't matter when otherwise undesirable

>>43554306
so many shorties(in the most literal sense)
sad day for tall trannies
idk it could be worse

>>43554332
i'd rather be tall with a gf

>>43554344
oh to be a third gender freak
ohhhhhh to liveee in the reallll world

>>43554332
>sad day for tall trannies
its rly not even bad unless you are straight

>>43554702
hmm
are all straight tranners short?
is there a correlational there?
idk im mostly into guys and im 165cm
pre transition i just looked like a trans guy standing next to my male friends

>>43554702
how is it not bad unless you are straight?

>>43554948
im 6' and straight. easier to find a bf taller than u than a gf taller than u

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>How do I bottom without being Cucked by Dysphoria???
No offense to your girlfriend but its in the top. Im pretty sure its a scientifically proven fact that the real, primal desire from the man is the biggest turn on for cis women (aside from the partners physical parameters) and they can feel it on some subconcious level, mostly telegraphed via eyes and body language. Tragic fact of the matter though is most men are docile, they dont REALLY care, they have a need to fuck and they are going through the motions to achieve that goal with whoever is down to do it. Or they are too narcissistic to love someone besides themselves. Why do you think rape or at the very least consensual non consent is such a popular kink? On top of the obvious 'being overpowered' part the potential rapist has that unbridled beastial desire in him that women go nuts for. Its that same desire that dulls over time and leads to dead bedrooms. All that is to say - a partner that has that in him will make you feel like a woman, not just a woman you will feel like a goddes of all carnal desires granting the privelege of your angelic body to your most loyal worshipper, you will feel 10x the woman compared to that lady with her kids you saw at the grocery store.

I worship my women, you get me? I obsess over them. I flip the switch, the chain snaps and the caveman is released, all of my male ancestors line up like in those avatar scenes place their hands on my shoulders and bless me to pour my heart soul and semen into the lady im with. And im not talking about rough fucking specifically, although theres time and place for that too, im talking about the burning need within me to prove to my muse that she is the most loved and desired woman in the world and that she chose right when she picked me. Ask yourself, does your partner like having sex with you or do they just like cumming? If the latter is true arent you just helping them masturbate with your body?

t. chaser

>>43556411
this might be the greatest shit I've ever read on this board
honestly changed my opinion on chasers
thank you sir really thank you this shit was beautiful
>"I worship my women, you get me? I obsess over them. I flip the switch, the chain snaps and the caveman is released, all of my male ancestors line up like in those avatar scenes place their hands on my shoulders and bless me to pour my heart soul and semen into the lady im with."
is shakespeare really dead?

t. tranner

>>43556411
would you say most chasers are like yourself?

>>43557571
They stopped inviting me to chaser meetings so I really cant say. But what you really should be asking is
>would you say most men are like yourself?
Ill press my nose into your belly and inhale untill my lungs are filled with your pheromones and my jaw starts clenching like im a coke addict. Ill kiss and lick every (and I do mean every) inch of your body after we are done. Most men really arent like me

>>43554407
Truke. Height makes you permanently a hon