My mood stabilizers are finally starting to do what mood stabilizers do again and I find myself hating it again.I hate this shit so fucking much. Lithium was poison but it made me feel alive. Being maniac/psychotic every day was nice in its own right even if it made me a terrible person.
>>43557107>Being maniac/psychotic every day was nice in its own rightWdym?
>>43557557Because I felt alive. I didnt feel like this flat souless thing. I still feel the exact same dread of losing days at a time to whatever the fuck but now I just get the full front of depression without any kind of thing over it to mask it.
>>43557557I could wake up in the morning, and I might have been acting kinda crazy but at least I was experiencing something besides this stupid fucking life of mine. Of going to work, coming home, doing nothing, being in a space that isnt mine and in a body that is fundementally wrong. Getting on meds fixes the mania but it doesnt fix any of the fucking problems in my normal life. At least when Im manic Im too fucking crazy to have a look at myself and realize just how shit of a situation I live in is and how small my life is and how small of a person Ive become with time.
>>43557107>>43558111You need a man to fuck you when you're sad and beat you when you're psycho
>>43558120Ik youre shitposting butI already had that and all that happened was I nearly murdered him after he beat me and when I was sad my sex drive was too dead to fuck and he raped me.
>>43558156Getting raped is apart of the tranny experience, get used to it sweetheart.
