>>43567715
My bully is a hood rat. When I heard his older brother was killed by a cop during a robbery I laughed and never felt bad about being bullied by him again.

>>43567715
if its been years dredging up the past is just going to be bad imo
worst case she relives the memories, best case she doesnt case but ig it depends on what happened

>>43567715
>How would you feel if your bully approached you irl to apologize a couple years after school was over?
I would forgive him. Without reservation I would forgive him. But until he apologizes I cant forgive him
my mom likes to say shit like people change, hes probably a better person now. That's great for him but I still carry the scars, physical and mental

>>43567807
It never got physical, thats where I drew the line but sometimes I wish it did because maybe that way I wouldnt feel the need to be so needlessly cruel otherwise. It was the mocking, demeaning, repeating the typical little chudling catchphrases, im sure you know the ones. Theres one thing I did, the worst thing I did and that is the nightmare that I see the most because its one of those crystallized memories you can recall in great detail if you close your eyes.
There was a bunch of people sitting in class with the teacher out and she came in wearing very feminine attire which she very clearly put a lot of thought into, wasnt a dress but very clearly fem-presenting (is that the correct use of those words?), me and my friends started mocking her (all of the bullying she recieved from the other guys can be traced back to me, I feel like if I wasnt in the picture they wouldnt care or feel like they have the right to be cruel to her for no reason). I started very loudly comparing her to a girl in our class, comparing their shoulders and hands and waists and so on, the girls in my class told me to shut the fuck up, one even went out to find a teacher or someone to reprimand me, I feel like even some of the guys were trying to stop me but on that day I just wouldnt relent for some reason. I think its because she was always very resilliant to all of my agression and I just took it as a challenge to finally get any reaction to my words. She started crying and bolted out of the class and I havent seen her the rest of the day. I remember my friend telling me "dude what if he fucking kills himself" and I very loudly proclaimed how little I cared about that.

>>43567715
Honest to god I'd put it the way you're putting it to us. I think she'll understand

>>43568018
She never wore anything feminine to school after that day, kinda did sometimes but it was dialed back quite a bit. I feel like that memory is so crystal clear to me to this day because thats when I knew for the first time what I did wasnt right. I expected some kind of punishment, someone to call my parents and tell them what I did and for my parents to yell at me and reprimand me. (my family is very liberal, especially my mother). But no punishment came which made me feel even worse. I remember at the graduation her mother smiling and telling me how good I look in a suit with her standing next to her smiling and looking at me. I expected her mother to absolutely hate my guts but she very clearly did not tell anyone about what was happening to her at school or what I did.

>>43567715
3 years after I got out of high school I was at a party with some of my friends from HS. a guy who had bullied me in high school showed up becauae he was friends with somebody there. This dude had fucked with me in auto shop, called me a kike and a worthless jew to my face.

At the party I ended up starting a convo with him about cars (we were both into driving). We drank, we talked. We became friends after that night. A year and a half later I rented a house with him and one of our mutual friends from HS. It was a hilarious, fun house to live in and I loved it. Two years after we became friends I was trying to talk him out of killing himself over being foreveralone. I failed.

This was 20 years ago and I still miss him.

>>43568051
? You were bullying this kid but was friends with her mother? What?

>>43568064
Did he ever apologize?

>>43568091
For what he did in high school? No.

>>43568079
No, no nothing like that, maybe I worded that wrong. Her mother was just an extremely nice lady and everyone from my class was standing outside with our parents. She and her mom approached my group and she remarked about how good I look in a suit and how well it fits me before talking to my and my friends' parents.

>>43568051
>She never wore anything feminine to school after that day, kinda did sometimes but it was dialed back quite a bit.
Ha! you and this guy >>43567913 have something in common, you both snuffed a teenager's light

>>43567715
>How would you feel if your bully approached you irl to apologize a couple years after school was over?
Indifferent.
>Would that make you feel even slightly better?
No, lol. Wouldn't make me feel worse either.
Believe it or not, everyone grows up eventually. I don't give af about anything (good or bad) that happened in high school. Life is too short to give a shit but also a lot longer than the teenage years. All teenagers are stupid - including me, you and the girl that bullied me.
>If I do apologize is it cool if just go up to her irl?
You bullied her irl so might as well try to make amends irl too. And if she tells you to fuck off, then kindly fuck off and... that's it.
Realistically, she doesn't owe you forgiveness and nothing really happens if you don't apologize either. But since you claim to care, might as well try.
Who knows? Maybe you find a new friend. It's not quite uncommon for former childhood foes to become friends later on in life. Or maybe she tells you to go fuck yourself. One way to find out.

>>43568172
>And if she tells you to fuck off, then kindly fuck off and... that's it.
Different anon.. OP if she tells you to fuck off, at least get a sorry out as you leave. It will mean something to her eventually.

>>43568018
>knowing all the tranny pain points to attack with comparison to girls in class
you've revealed this as a larp by a tranny, or you're a tranny now yourself. which one

>>43568212
Maybe OP was the one that got bullied

>>43568172
Thank you anon, you put my soul at ease a bit.
>>43568212
I think you underestimate how good internet right wing sphere knows these same pain points and how easy they are to intuit in general. What I was saying about her wasnt even true by the way, I was just saying shit I knew would hurt a trans person.

I wish very deeply to be apologized to, but only because the people who treated me like you treated her are family members that I love involuntarily due to familial bonds so it's kind of a different situation

>>43567715
well that would be ridiculous, niggers dont apoligise

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>>43567715
>>43568018
Her whole life is going to be people slighting her and discriminating against her for being trans. You just played a small part in making her life shit but there are likely many other participants. She may not even think about what happened between you often. Or maybe she thinks about it every other time she looks in the mirror and you've permanently broken her. But someone would've done it eventually, probably.

>>43567715
I don't know how socially retarded you are but don't show up at her job to try and makes amend lmao that's a complete dick move

I don't think apologizing or something would be that bad I might just be to cynical but I don't think some random asshole I was forced to hang around near coming back up again later in life would make me feel better.

Thought process being something like "wawawa I was one of the several dozen people who was a fucking cunt to you for no reason but no-o-o-ooww I see the error of my ways milady please forgive me so I can feel better" I think I'd have a "wow this pussy thought he was better than me moment" I think any kind of things like this just made me worse then them in the long run

If I was you I literally wouldn't feel bad though it's easy to fuck up this sort of thing we all make mistakes just do better in future maybe donate to a charity or something I'd wager this matters a lot less to her than it does to you at this point kinda selfish to consider yourself as having this much of an impact on someone's life.

>>43568511
The lesson that people do things more often for themselves should be taught in schools, so few people understand that in making any flavor of "amends" they're just squirming under their own judgement and refusing to accept their darker urges without a pass from anybody they can convince

>>43568587
Yes thats the only reason I havent done it yet as it would be even more insulting to her if I would come begging for her to alleviate my guilty concious after treating her this way, which I guess theres really no escaping from that.
>kinda selfish to consider yourself as having this much of an impact on someone's life
Yeah I thought about that too, but the flipside to that is assuming the bad things I did had minimal to no impact so I shouldnt feel any guilt or shame. Reverse bike-cuck where im just rationalizing being a cunt. I wasnt going to ambush her at her workplace was more so thinking about waiting after her shift is done which after typing it out makes it sound creepy

>>43568635
conscience* esl moment

>>43568635
you need to dress up feminine when you make this apology. and you need to make it clear that what you said in class was about you and not about her

>>43568664
Do this OP it's the only way

Judging from your comments here, yes she 100% remembers and is haunted by it. Don't contact her. Leave her the frick alone.

>>43568754
If OP does this right, it could free her from behing haunted. It could free them both

>>43568635
guilt or shame aren't growth I've been their I have had pretty severe ocd with thoughts almost exactly like this endlessly feeling penance for sins of the past only causes you to repeat and relive similar circumstances.

As an mtf who's 22 right now and who transitioned at likely a similar age as this girl

I don't think you're a terrible guy if you think you're special for being mean to a newly out trans chick in highschool I've got news for you

I also don't see trying to make amends being productive for either of you.

I also don't know either of you so do your worst lol If you try to make amends I hope she laughs in your face

>>43568768
The tranny deserves to be bullied to suicide and OP deserves a medal for making these filth experience day in day out pain and suffering

>>43568783
you deserve to have your asshole glued shut and left to fend with out medical care

>>43568887
It'll never happen, what will happen is large swaths of people will hate you for being transgender

>>43568889
oh no whatever will I do?

kek. you are trying to scare somebody twice your age, you little shit

>>43567715
>I just see what I did in my sleep and wake up feeling like ending it all.
more useful to keep living and make a positive difference
>I want to apologize but at the same time I very clearly recognize that theres a big part of me that in a very selfish way just wants to feel forgiven.
you can just throw a one-way statement at them that you recognize how fucked up what you did was, and that it wasn't fair, and that you don't expect forgiveness but just wanted to acknowledge how shitty it was
do it in a way where they can't respond to you so it's obvious that you're not doing it for forgiveness, feel-goodness etc