I'm MTF, and I don't have a lot of romantic or sexual experience because I've been afraid to come out to people. I transitioned young and I live in stealth, but I'm so afraid of how people will treat me if I tell them that I just go to college and go home I stead of having a social life.I worked up the nerve to go out and try to meet a guy recently and I keep telling myself it could've gone worse but it felt pretty bad.I went to this party with some guys from my classes, and I ended up going home with one of them. We slept together, and I was over the moon about finally finding someone who accepted me and finally getting to be close to someone.The next morning has roommate met me and liked me a lot and the guy didn't force me to go hang out with his roommate but he sort of...made it sound like he liked me because I was easy, and I felt like I'd lose the only person I've gotten close to in ages I'd I said I didn't want to sleep with his roommate too. So I did.The roommate was disgusting. He smelled like he hadn't had a shower in a week and his room had dirty laundry and trash everywhere. He had a big crusty patch on his bed when he pulled me onto it that came off on my hand. His underwear stuck to his skin and left his skin red when he pulled them off.I've been in the shower for the past two hours just trying to feel clean again and I've been crying so hard I threw up a few times. I just want people in my life, I want to hope that I won't be alone forever but I can't do this again.How can I get a real bf without getting hate crimed or treated like this again?
>>43571017weird image because garak was the one that was flirting with bashir all the time, not the other way around
>>43571017I am in the same situation as you. Transitioned at 15 and then moved to a city where no one knows me for college.You genuinely cannot do anything until you get your vagina done. Just don't. I've went on dates with guys without telling them for fun but I know anything else is pointless and risky.
>He had a big crusty patch on his bed when he pulled me onto it that came off on my handi fucking GAGGED OHT LOUDnever go back there please, bro why in the world would you sleep with him wtf?? you sound like a sweet girl but your insecurities are visible to other people and 99% of the time that just means that the people you attract are going to have bad intentions and take advantage of you.you need to make friends, friends you can be honest and open with so you can really believe and see just how much you are worth. you are worth so much more than this. i know it’s hard to be so lonely, i’m lonely like you are too, but you can’t just leap at the first man (or woman) to give you attention.really you should try to make friends with other girls in your classes or join a club at your university. you need non-sex friends to be comfortable with and your confidence will only grow from there. and having a base support system is so important.
>>43571109I want bottom surgery but it feels too expensive and inaccessible for me to ever get it, and I don't want to be alone forever. I've been working in my free time to save money for it but I end up spending most of that on bills and stuff for school.>>43571143I was also kind of scared they might tell people I'm trans if I didn't sleep with them, and I was afraid of how people would treat me if they knew.Everyone seems to hate trans people so much now it feels impossible to live like a person.I'm worried if I start making friends that know about me being trans they might let it slip too so my only friends are on MMOs. I thought about trying to make friends with some stoners in my classes since I want to try weed and they seem nicer than a lot of the other people.
People do not tell you this but when you decide to be stealth you are deciding to live life on spectator mode. You get youself so deep in the lie you realise if you stop lying your entire social circle will be ruined. You cannot trust anyone with intimate stuff. You have to constantly make up stories and lies about yourself to maintain the facade that you are cis. Everytime my friends do a pool party I get conviniently sick (tbf I am sick most of the time). I've studied periods and vaginal anatomy in order to lie more convincingly. If you actually want to live you either have to stop being stealth or just gamble on progressively more insane scenarios expecting people to not find out. In your case (and mine) the gamble would go on something like this.>Find guy you like that likes you back>Confess to him you are a tranny>Expect him to be okay with that (insane gamble)>THEN tell him to never tell anyone else about it (insane-er gamble)>AND JUST THEN ask him to be your boyfriend Too many shit that has to go right just for you to survive. Such is the life of the tranny.
>>43571223you should try and make friends with the stoners. and i get how you feel about being outed. honestly tho you just gotta try and make friends anyways. this does not get any easier as time goes on, i’d say it only gets harder the older you are. i’m sorry for what happened to you nona, you didn’t deserve any of that.
ewww, you're used up garbage now
>>43571253It's really much easier than you you're making out to be. I've been stealth for so long, I don't fully remember when I was seen as transgender
>>43571294I agree, after a few years, it gets impossible to come out as transgender. Especially if you were bullied for being a feminine male. It's just so much easier to live as a woman, even if you can't make close friends with anybody
>>43571318I have been stealth for 3 years now. I do not remember the last time I was a tranny either. You know the difference? I actually am aware of the risks that come with lying to people for years and years. People DO NOT like being lied to and at least for me lying takes a toll on my health.
