i go to work everyday at my boring as fuck retail job, get misgendered by almost every customer and sometimes my other coworkers on a daily basis (they know im trans). stopped caring. meander mindlessly throughout the day. eating the same exact packed sandwich for lunch. go home get either really stoned or drunk (usually both). usually start drinking around 5 so im not too hungover for my morning shift tomorrow. and gorge myself on shitty food until i pass out. i have my girlfriend over on weekends and buy her food and do whatever she wants. usually thats just watching her favorite shows or streamers while holding her very tight.i feel absolutely nothing. am i perma dissociating? the only times i feel happy anymore are when im piss drunk. i moved out of my shitty dads house 6 years ago and this has been my entire life since. i dont feel anything. once in a blue moon ill dry heave cry myself to sleep really loudly hoping my roommate doesnt hear but thats really it.have i turned myself into an empty husk? whats wrong with me. has estrogen made me numb?
>have i turned myself into an empty husk? whats wrong with me. has estrogen made me numb?lack of T can kill motivation
>>43590683i wasnt that motivated before hrt either desu
>>43590509you are depressed, nona.
>>43590509kinda similar except screen escapism instead of the regular drugs. been years now, I'm mainly busy speedrunning getting old and dead. wouldn't recommend
