you should definitely leave, no doubts
but thats not your main problem...

>>43590962
her catching feelings for someone else isn't a reason to break up by itself but her being cold toward you is
if you stuck with her through all of that and she can't make it a turning point then it's already over

>>43591014
>her catching feelings for someone else isn't a reason to break up by itself
why are people here like this lmaooo

>>43591036
most people in long-term relationships catch fleeting feelings, not that you'd know

>>43591014
>>43591036

is it impossible to have a relationship without the other person having feelings for other people?
genuinley asking, ive never felt for other people i dont even watch porn but im starting to wonder if i might just be autistic and unable to understand how other people are in relatinoships
she seemd completley unable to understand why id be upset if she didnt act on it
and she told me she couldnt promise that she wouldnt start to feel for people she was close to
am i asking too much?
please help me i dont understand

>>43591051
yes. most people cheat too lol

>>43591054
you'd probably be able to brush it off if she hadn't previously cheated on you and wasn't treating you like trash
you're not asking too much, you just want to feel secure

>>43591054
>is it impossible to have a relationship without the other person having feelings for other people?
no but there are few people like that. your gf is not included

>she cheated a lot
I never understand why people tolerate this

>>43591109
I dont have anyone my family is gone and I have like maybe one irl kinda but he wouldnt be able to help me everytime its happend shes begged for me to stay and promise to change
i think she has changed insomuch that she hasnt cheated one me this time
but it breaks my heart she felt like that for someone else
shes begging me to stay again I dont know what to do
>>43591090
this makes me cry i dont want to live in a relatinoship like that
all ive asked is exclusivity thats all i want too
my mom killed herself partly because of my dads unfaithfullness it hurts me a lot everyone i dated before her cheated on me too
it makes me so miserable but I think she does love me and i think she does want to be with me which makes it so hard to deal with

File: Screenshot 2026-05-16 001624.png (188 KB, 1128x628)

188 KB PNG

here is the msg she sent me please tell me what you think please please please
i feel so alone i want to rope maybe im insane and retarded

>>43590962
You got cheated on and stayed? Bro you deserve whatever you get.

>>43590962
My advice? Stop drinking.
In a t4t relationship myself, used to have lots of fear of infidelity, so we did molly/shrooms/went to therapy together and opened our relationship. 3 years later and we're thinking of having kids. This next sentiment is not a brag, just want to let you know its possible. My partner and I talk about who we love very openly, but never has my partner fallen IN LOVE with anyone else. That feels like immense disrespect to the bond that you share if she's emotionally open to something like that with someone else. Homelessness is not worth it, but you can't just keep drowning your sorrows in a chemical that will only push you further from the point.

Tbh it sounds like you're both holding on to something you value very differently. Don't off yourself babe, the world needs more faggots like you. But also do yourself a huge favor and DO NOT marry that bitch.

>>43591251
Im genuinely praying for the kids you might have. I had abusive meth head parents, but i think the only thing that wouldve fucked me up more is having two trannies with an open relationship raising me.

>>43591285
Lmaoooo exactly this

>>43591285
Yeah some people are able to keep things private.
My partner's transmasc btw. We pass for a cishet couple. A weird one. But we pass nonetheless. Nobody is aware of our polyamory and our sex life is 100% private. We also met while we were getting our education degrees, so it's kind of our whole career to "raise kids." I had abusive druggie parents too but if you cant overcome their destructive patterns and learn to RESPECT the substances you put in your body, then I'm sorry, but you're a druggie too.

You're drunk babe. Your brain is hurting itself. I'm going to be perfectly honest, and i hope it doesn't trigger you, but, you'd be better off on dirty meth than whatever disgusting quantity of liquor you've been ingesting. I know you're angry, but I didnt cheat on you. And I didn't tell you to go back to her. You can't honestly blame her for cheating a third time if you let her get away with it the second time, that's all I'm saying.

Maybe you need therapy? Sounds like a lot of subconscious guilt and denial.

>>43591340
the nona who responded to you isnt me im op

i wont judge. i wont judge. i wont judge

>>43590962
medium-bad case scenario you'll get cucked forever
best case scenario she has changed and things will be ok
>I dont have any family or friends (long story) but i mean that genuinley she is the only one i have and leaving means being homless
this is a big risk for my brain: I'd want to
- find a sustainable job that can allow me to have a roof over my head
- or a support system (trans/lgbt support group or friends or even just coworkers) for said roof if things stay bad or get worse, and also just in general to be able to get back on your feet
>is it insane to want to breakup over your fiancee catching feelings for someone if they dont act on it?
given her history, no
but, be strategic and figure out the roof over your head thing - you're not a hot cis woman so you can't just use your body for that as easily

>>43591371
I am thinking about just asking if someone would let me stay at their place if id let them rape me at this point maybe ill ask on 4troon if i actually commit this time to leaving
I hate myself and I hate how relatinoships are
i dont think I hate her because I love her but i think shell always hurt me my life feels over at this point
i go to college and I have a college job but since its a goverment program for students the job has a cap on hours
>>43591365
please judge please i dont have anyone to ask or talk about this so i only have this board to rely on i know thats proabably a bad base but i dont know what else to do

>>43591397
>please judge please
not meant for you lolz

>>43591360
My bad I'm digitally illiterate and admittedly am getting my shit pushed in as I type.

Sorry babe, realized it as soon as I clicked send, and honestly i tried to find a delete button. I'm a dumb bitch and I earnestly hope you can find a way to leave her and take the house out from under her. Seriously tho, do not stay with her. She will only do it again, even if she says she won't. That one is for the streets, and from the screenshot u posted it looks like they can't even admit to their mistakes properly?

You deserve better. Everyone deserves better than that. Don't rope. Depending on the state/country you're in there should be a local queer resource line you can dial for aid in these exact situations.

The fact that you called me out so gingerly is proof that you're better than the vast majority of us. Please bless us with your patience for just a bit longer. Also uh... get revenge. Sleep with everyone/everything.
If you're really committed on going out at least give her AIDs first.

>>43591397
>i go to college
good
>and I have a college job
even better, at least you're employable
>but since its a goverment program for students the job has a cap on hours
sure, that's an obstacle
use the college environment to ask around - job counselors, whatever teachers are responsible for you, lgbt clubs, your job coworkers bosses and so on: how you can go about being able to independently have food and shelter, since at the moment you're dependent on a romantic partner for that and that's a really bad spot to be in for a woman, let alone a trans one (for a man too, but who gives a fuck about those)
no need to rush things, you've been through worse and you can survive, but indeed do stop the booze (or drugs or cutting etc) if you can, shit really affects your emotional stability
and, sustainably work toward a point where you have a choice of staying in or out of the relationship without it forcing you got whore yourself out for food and shelter

>>43591443
>and admittedly am getting my shit pushed in as I type.
kinky

>>43591452
>without it forcing you got whore yourself
to*, that's what I get for editing in this small text field without final proof-reading

>>43590962
curbstomp cheaters

You can't expect that people will never catch feelings once they're in a relationship. People wouldn't get into more than one relationship their whole lives if that was how things worked. People don't have a kind of lock on what they feel, you can't turn off feelings just because they're inconvenient, whether romantic or otherwise.
You don't trust her, though. That's at least half of the problem, mostly that's on her to be sure, but in reality you're taking anxiety that you feel and reacting to IT and not her. It's like a feedback loop.
Even if you can be sure when you're totally sober and thinking very carefully and honestly about how you want to move forward, do not ever impoverish or harm yourself in response to a problem. It doesn't help, it doesn't solve anything. You're feeling horrible, and you want that to stop, but committing to even worse circumstances isn't going to make things feel easier to deal with. Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to feel like shit.

You're building up this whole entire world of imaginary expectations about what it means to be in a relationship, it's the only way you could believe that nobody EVER even THINKS about other people once the relationship button turns off romance until they're at home. Those expectations need to change, for your sake. Not to allow her to cheat or yearn for other people, or to just accept some kind of "lesser" outcome. They need to change because you're ignoring decades of extremely common and well known depictions of and wisdom about the struggles of maintaining a life long marriage. That ignorance is hurting you badly, that imaginary world where people are always starry eyed about every facet of their partner and never about anyone else only serves to make real life seem dull and cruel.
You really need to examine whether you can ever trust her again, whether you can believe her in your gut and soul about things like this.

>>43591501
suifuel for us true exclusive monogamous folx

>>43591458
School's finally out so I can actually do a anal extasy bender without having to worry about grading papers.

The anus suffers more than the brain but it's not like I'm leaving my cranium un-violated throughout this.

Boyfriend fell asleep, so I'm just riding a chair dildo for the second consecutive hour while I line up more mystery pills and roll myself my 12th cigarette for the day. But b4 he passed out we split a case of whippets, 4 big mollies, and smoked two joints.So horny I'm tempted to go CRUISING. So horny I just had to say that on a thread involving S thoughts.

Idk if thats you but, again, don't commit rope OP. Go cruising instead. It doesn't have to be rape. Lots of creepy-nice cis sugar daddies would let you spend the night just for a footjob. That's partially why I suggest you drop the alcohol in favor of something more confidence building. Not only would you be happier, but you also wouldn't have to be a rape slave for housing. Bonus!

>>43591501
this is really hard to hear but i think you may be right
from what i see online it isnt that case for everyone but im scared that thats the only option for monogmous trannies
i could see that being the case
I dont mean this in a way that is mean to aynone but living that way does sound horrible to me it makes me really sad
I dont know maybe im not cut out for relatinoships
i love her so much but this kind of thing isnt something i think i can accept and be okay with i could accept and be sad about it maybe but never happy or even okay
i wont keep drinking though and other stuff for now youre right about that
i have around 4k in savings i live in eugene so ill see how far that could take me
maybe im not cut out for relatinoships
>>43591548
im sorry nona you are a nice lady but i cannot imagine living that lifestyle it may end up being that way if i need to find housing and theyd accept being a manmoder but thinking about having to give myself up for any reason other than love is suifuel for me ... idk we started dating in highschool so i havnt had experiences with people like that i think id rather feel raped than feel cheated on
i dont even know if that will be an option
i dont know anything

>>43591617
>see how far that could take me
Unless you can ensure a job or stable housing in the next three months, do not do this if you can help it. Moving out and trying to heal, I understand must seem tempting, but if you rush through it you could really damage your life and circumstances that lead you to having no other options than to come back or commit to years of dangerously precarious living standards.

Do you think love is some limited thing, that only so much can exist? Why does a shallow interest in another person devalue the years of demonstrable affection and love someone feels for their partner?

>>43591548
not op, I'm more shitposty and she's more tactful
hoping you can be happy without droogs nona

>>43591501
>You can't expect that people will never catch feelings once they're in a relationship. People wouldn't get into more than one relationship their whole lives if that was how things worked.
that's retarded, well adjusted adult people can keep their feelboner in their pants until the current relationship is over
>>43591617
don't get gaslit by cheaters op, you deserve a loyal partner

>>43591617
what the other anon said, don't go out without stable housing and sustainable income lined up, unless it gets abusive. you can be a cuck while you prepare for independent life, and of course don't take advantage of your fiancee either while doing so, she doesn't deserve the man treatment

>>43591646
>Do you think love is some limited thing, that only so much can exist? Why does a shallow interest in another person devalue the years of demonstrable affection and love someone feels for their partner?
Bruh
NTA, but some people are really like that. Is it that hard to understand? I'm exactly like OP, just not naive.

>>43591659
>people can keep their feelboner in their pants
You're saying the same thing I did, just with a little less brain.

>>43591680
>a little less
it better be a lot less, I posted with my drooling retard hat on while barely reading a few words from your post, I'd hope there's more brain in there

>>43591687
>barely reading a few words
Adds up, good luck dear

>>43591677
yeah polyfags will use the weirdest mental gymnastics to gaslight you into thinking you're the one that's broken for being able to properly pair-bond

>>43591693
Fucking grim

>>43591691
never mind, reading a few more and it does appear to be poly gaslighting. not exactly a good look, nona

>>43591693
I don't consider polyfags weirdos or anything. I think it's a natural thing, but some people genuinely can't comprehend how monogamous brains work.

>>43591698
I'm in a nursery built for a miscarriage, talking to badly made furniture

OP Please take care of yourself, think more on how to move forward without being drunk, please. You shouldn't trust this partner in my opinion, but i'm not going to tell you how to make this work. Hopefully you can find a way to confront this anxiety without attacking yourself, but nobody here is going to be able to give you the playbook for that game.

>>43591707
I don't mind them doing their own thing, there's plenty of poly people that are decent folk and probably plenty that have healthier relationships than some toxic monogamous ones.
Not exactly a fan of the gaslighty ones like >>43591711 though.

>>43591728
True tbhon. This >>43591501 is so dumb.

>>43591541
Yeah sorry to agree with the demon but truly exclusive emotional monogamy is a pipedream. Physical monogamy is possible, but inevitably boring. Nobody's heart is sworn to one, unless you're looking for a genuinely delusional/explosive fling, which I can definitely relate to.

The only exclusive couples I've met that last more than a few years are ones where they channel their hatred into their children instead of eachother. Or ones that live separate. :(

I'm going to reiterate this without the mean-ness this time. You really need to contact your local resources and find a social worker and/or a therapist. You need to make sure that if you do decide to stay with her, you make your wishes and boundaries crystal clear, and keep her at arms distance. This is a serious issue and you can't deal with it by trannyposting and sad drinking.

>>43591617

The lifestyle is frankly a lot less harmful than whatever emotional pit you've got yourself stuck in at the moment my fren :( that first big breakup hits hard, especially if you've been sticking it out through what sounds like A LOT of bullshit. I still haven't cried for harder or longer than I did for my first breakup, not for my dead grandparents, not even at the Florence concert.

It could be weeks, it could even be a couple months. But it will subside. And you will be better because of it. Ready to face new challenges, with a greater understanding of the shitty world around you.

Committing rope now = putting in all the work (suffering) and not staying for the payoff (growth)

And yes sweetie, I would pay top dollar for a stinky homeless manmoder to sit on my face any day of the week. If you were canadian you'd already have a place to stay.

>>43591707
Considering there's no difference between a "polyamorous" and a "monogamist" brain, I'm unsure what you're inferring. Like most other aspects of sexuality it's not taught, it's not genetic, it's a spectrum and nobody is exclusively one way or tother. U immune?

>>43591750
yawn

imma let you groom op, not worth the captchas
probably better to get abused in a poly agpartment for a year and speedrun the usual mistakes that'll prepare her for her future relationships, than to get stuck with a fakemono cheater in her first relationship, i'll give you that

>>43591800
Giving the game away saar
a bridge too far

>>43591800
I wasn't the one telling OP to get into polyamory. As a matter of fact I said that I thought it was disgusting of their partner to disrespect their consent/relationship like that. My partner and I are currently not seeing anyone else.

Think u got me mixed up.

>>43591858
seems like everyone was getting mixed up in this thread lol mayb i shouldve done a tripfag for it

anwyays im op thank you everyone who took the time to reply i dont think any of you are bad people or anything even if i cant feel how some of you do on relationships

if i choose to leave im not going to stay here im not a strong person ill just end up giving into her again its very hsrd for me to when shes sad
i hope that the world i want to live in exists i dont know if ill rope yet i really dont have anyone or anything anymore so it might be my time
maybe ill ask on 4troon if homless is inevitable ik some posters here live in my city
it feels bleek right now

>>43591879
>i really dont have anyone or anything anymore so it might be my time
dont rope you retard, get help. you're in a shitty situation, but you have food and shelter, are in college and can keep a job. this is a base from which you can get help and work your way up to independence and friends

>>43591858
>telling OP to get into polyamory
Nobody was?

>>43590962
cheating shouldn't have a 2nd chance so that's is on you for making that mistake but get some confidence and self worth and find someone who actually respects you

>>43591879
fix your situation. leave your relationship. dont rely on your partner for everything. get comfortable with being alone until you find the right person for you. the world you want does exist

>>43591917
This.

The only thing that will make you feel better is realizing that you ARE better than her. She doesn't deserve you. You don't deserve to feel like this. But you DO deserve to see the next couple thousand sunrises/sunsets <3 no rope pls OP