ive been transitioning for 8 years now and its clearer than ever before now that iwnbaw. i think i should have just been a femboy or something instead of actually convincing myself i was a female, gaslighting myself just made the dysphoria worse and now im crazy and feel like buffalo bill
>>43594280The label isnt important
>>43594280Me too but i stopped the hrt for a while. Now im just another cis man on hrt.
Do you like the effects of estrogen, all things considered? If yes, carry on. If not, stop.it really is that simple. it's not magic or some metaphysical shit that mandates a certain identity or w/e.t. estrogen user for 11 years
>>43594280Honestly I keep waffling between tranny and HRT femboy and idk anymore eitherI think just going with the flow is best
>>43599556>I keep waffling between tranny and HRT femboy and idk anymore eitherIKTF. eventually moved to "idc anymore" and suddenly everything just got better. Call me nona and i'll answer in the feminine; call me anon and i'll answer in the masculine. it really doesn't matter that much.t. >>43599524
>>43599608Well it's weird because sometimes being called a guy sucks and other times being called she feels incorrect so
>>43599617"idc anymore" solves that.also, since idc anymore, i've allowed myself to be me - a very weird mixture of fembrained and malebrained. sexually i'm very fembrained (like literally my arousal and attraction is contextual rather than visual) and my body is just fem enough that I can soooort-of "girlmode" but otherwise I prefer a more masc-coded demeanor/personality.pro: made finding a bf way easiercon: made managing agp a liiitle bit harder
>>43599678I honestly swing too much between being malebrained and fembrained. Like I've been turbo malebrained in a way that isn't actually that awful feeling lately.
>>43599833that's fine. you will swing a lot more. a live-in bf brings some stability in some aspects (I definitely know myself sexually better/more now) but not in others.reducing the amount of time spent overthinking every minute detail helps the most.took me a while to figure out why I'm more feminine in the summer. the answer was shockingly simple: the weather is way nicer so I spend a lot more time living and doing things rather than rotting and ruminating. Also, vitamin D, the real one, I mean (not that getting dicked down isn't gr8 too).
>>43599938I can't seem to find a predictor for it. Though I did fuck up my injection schedule last week so just swapped to patches to tide me over until I get back to my weekly schedule. Maybe just have elevated T at the moment?
>>43599959>I can't seem to find a predictor for itthere isn't any. You're wasting your time trying to autistically map this. And in doing so you let life run past you.
>>43599959sorry to be so harsh in >>43600038 but I just don't want others to waste the years I wasted and I want more to skip that and go straight to the fun part.Friday evening (May 15) me and my guy were due to go to a local black metal concert. I was looking for some jeans and a metal shirt.>bf: srsly, you're gonna wear that?>me: what's wrong? need flexibility to headbang>err... hold on>he throws at me a kilt and a longer black t-shirt>bf: there you go. wear thisInstant killer of doubt, did as he said, and had a lot of fun.Think less, act more. A lot of the minute details are a hindrance to your enjoyment of life when you overthink them (and you do, I recognize the pattern).
>>43600038Ehhhh rn I'm just coasting while saving money for surgeries and stuff. I have little ambition nowadays. I was always just kind of unambitious and I tried to socialmaxx earlier in transition and burnt out.
>>43600106>saving money for surgeries and stufffurther reason not to waste time on minutiae, imo.
>>43600123I mean I do need to figure out wtf I'm.gonna do with finding a new job. Honestly everyone knows I'm a tranny of some kind but I still use my brithname and whatnot at work. I used to present more femininely and would internally kinda freak out at being called by my birth name but now it's like, fine? Sometimes still sucks. I've straight up been asked if I want to be called something else too. Right now the plan is basically just wait to see how much FFS is gonna cost w/ insurance and then use the rest of the money I have to go towards rib/clavicle stuff.
>>43600154>I do need to figure out wtf I'm.gonna do with finding a new jobSounds like a more worthy point to focus on than how much you swing between fembrained and malebrained.>everyone knows I'm a tranny of some kind but I still use my brithname and whatnot at workyep, same. I don't even have a girlname lol. I do sometimes go in a dress (especially during summer). everyone likes the estrogenized faggot (me).>the plan is basically just wait to see how much FFS is gonna cost w/ insurance and then use the rest of the money I have to go towards rib/clavicle stuff.sounds like a good plan, unironically.
>>43600198See I had a name picked out. Then I felt unworthy of it and ended up with a different "starter name." And I'm called that by a few people but sometimes it doesn't feel right.
