i feel like i'm not ready to start HRT bc if it can't make me capable of feeling content with living my life in this body i will have no more options. right now i still get to enjoy the hope of the uncertainty of "maybe hormones could work", but if i take them and they don't work, then i will feel an extremely undesirable sense of doom and resignation. feeling bad but having hope there's something that could fix it feels like it has better expected value than taking the gamble on potentionally being hopeless forever. am i being completely fucking moronic?
>>43596670yup, just take yer pills
>am i being completely fucking moronic?yes.
>>43596684>>43596688how do you get over the fear of transition not solving your problems/making your life worse? like taking hormones blows up my relationship with my family and doesn't let me feel better in my body won't my life just be over?
>>43596730eventually ur dysphoria will get bad enough that you will john 50 and/or rope it's better to start now than later
>>43596670>am i being completely fucking moronic?yes>how do you get over the fear of transition not solving your problems/making your life worse?not any of the anons you're responding tothe best way is through. you just do it and find out. transition won't solve all of your problems (that much I can tell you for sure and anyone telling you otherwise is lying or larping), but it may solve some of them while, yes, making some other aspects worse. there are no solutions, only trade-offs.>like taking hormones blows up my relationship with my familyare you 12? You literally don't have to tell them. It will be at least a year until you will have some answers to yourself anyway.
>>43596670No this genuinely happened to me. As a repper I could hope that one day in the future maybe I wouldn’t hate my body but after taking e I now realize such a day will never come so even tho I like the effects I feel more depressed than before
>>43599561I care about my family a lot and they would be very hurt if I transitioned, which I would feel bad about. And I know there's trade offs for everything with transition, I don't even want much out of it, I'm not trying to pass as a woman I just want to not be a man and present as nonbinary. And I don't expect it to solve my problems, my hope is that if I took hormones the changes would make it possible for me to be okay with my body, so maybe I could be happy with it some day.
>>43600296>I'm not trying to pass as a woman I just want to not be a man and present as nonbinarynonbinary transition is the easiest to hide from everyone, lol.
>>43600383I guess that's true. I also worry about getting like reverse dysphoria from breast growth. I don't want to make myself feel worse by going on e.
>>43600496not trying will also make you feel worse, just slower.there is no neutral and "safe" decision, anon. nothing worthwhile in life is "safe" and perfectly calculable before doing it.again, are you 12? because you absolutely do sound like a 12 year old.
>>43600542No I'm 25 I just haven't ever actually done something that is both positive and self-intersted in my entire life, every major decision I have ever made has been the choice other people in my life would approve of, made out of fear of their disapproval. I am unhappy with nothing to show for it other than years of built up stress at the idea finally doing something for me even though it would disappoint the people I care about.
>>43600672>every major decision I have ever made has been the choice other people in my life would approve of, made out of fear of their disapprovalregardless of whether you eventually choose to try estrogen or not, you need to fix this about yourself.you are not living in a healthy manner at all. you are actively harming yourself for no benefit whatsoever.
>>43600708Yea I hate it and I feel like I'm stuck doing it forever because without the approval of my family I feel like I'd be giving them a poor return on the investment of raising me and financially supporting me through college. I'm very lucky to have had their support in those ways but I feel like if I don't give them what they want out of it I'm a bad person for not repaying their generosity.
>>43600796>cancer mentalitysorry anon but you're flat out wrong and you will end up disappointing both yourself and your family by clinging to this dogshit mentality.nobody sane talks about "return on the investment" when it comes to family relationship.
>>43600880I guess we'll see. Maybe they'll forgive me if I decide to do it. I often think I don't have a choice but it ultimately is up to me
