is it worth it to date a trans girl with BPD when she passes extremely well, is unbelievably fucking hot and has a voice so angelic i wouldn't even mind if she ruined my life?i think she's into me and has flirted with me before. but the problem is she's liable to just randomly flip the fuck out on me for no reason when i don't even know what i did wrong.
maybe you're just autistic
>>43599425It takes a lot of paitence. Genuinely read the wikipedia page for bpd, yku need to understand her brain genuiely works a different way than yours and emotion is more intense and her ability to cope with stress is loweredYou cant fix her, you can only make her feel secure enough she feels safe tk fix herself.Please understand the burden you take on.
>>43599425i dont have bpd(atleast im not diagnosed with it) but from what ive read way too many people underestimate how much bpd can fuck a person up and how its not just le clingy quirk. listen to >>43599736and do ur research and be sure that u know what ur getting into and that u will support her despite her struggles
People with BPD will hurt you and genuinely believe it's your fault they did. Not worth engaging.
>>43600331Not all bpd people are that bad
>>43600356well how do you separate the two? SUCKA
its not worth itt. bpdemon
>>43599425It takes a special kind of person to handle dating a BPD girl. A BPD trans girl? That's another level. I've done it but I will say if you have an active social family and friend group, I don't recommend at all. If you're a confident strong minded and strong willed person who lives alone though, it's.. doable?>>43599736Just wanted to say this anon is smart. Know what you're getting into man. The memes and shit are just that, memes.
>>43600413how did you make it work.
Its never worth dating a bpd persom, Ive spent legit 3 years trying to unfuck my life after leaving one
>>43600677what happened? not op but pls share
>>43600715She was cis but I was extrememly nieve and trying to force a cishet repper relationship and I think she just recognized that I was a pushover and took advantage of me for years without me realizing. When I realized and it all hit me at once I left her, which caused my house to foreclose, then she raped me and got pregnant. Since my life was ruined anyway I figured I would stop waiting for my parents to die to transition. Now I can afford rent because of cjhild support payments so Im forced to live with my transphobic parents who hate me even though I waited to pass to fully come out
>>43600807i'm really sorry to hear that
>>43600356They absolutely all are.
>>43600842Its okay, its my fault for trying to rep and force myself into my parents idealized version of my life. Im starting to see the end of the hardships now and I have become a much healthier and happier person from embracing myself.
>>43600912
>>43599425No because one day she’ll snap and decide you’re the devil and she hates you so she ghosts you despite a close relationship of several years. xD
>>43599425No, and if you do and break up get ready for them to lash out and do anything to try make your life miserable.
>>43601295wtf i am bpd
>>43601377D B TN O W
>>43601471i dont need this im free
>>43599425No.BPDemons are near universally childish cowards. People will tell you, understandably, that it takes a lot of effort, a lot of know-how, whatever else. This is technically true. The problem is it doesn't matter unless you act in a way that is something they will never actually tell you to do.You can be entirely aware of their BPD tendencies, what it looks like when they split, what might be going on in their head. You can be a literal perfect partner for them with infinite patience. It will not be enough, and they will just escalate to push boundaries because they want to see what will finally make you give up on them. They will do all this and then act like you were the problem. Like you just didn't love them enough to ignore that they cheated on you or something equally awful. In reality the only way to date a BPD woman long term is to be a massive piece of shit. People made extreme statements about how BPD women should be treated and I used to find it absurd, but after dating multiple of them it's clear that they actually have a point. They basically NEED to be abused. You CANNOT give them any real agency. You CANNOT give them any real freedom. Because at the end of the day, BPD is "retarded child" disorder except they're also old enough to own a car, or a house, or drink, or have sex, or whatever else. Even if they know they have BPD, and even if they know what it makes them act like, they WILL give in to those retarded impulses and then act like they're the victim. The ONLY way to have a long term relationship with them is to be domineering, controlling, and often outright cruel - up to and including basically raping them as a means to show their retarded backwards brain that you still find them attractive and that they "belong" to you. If you cannot or do not want to do this, do not even try to date them. If you do want to do this, well I think you're fucked in the head, but maybe unleashing you on BPDemons is what they deserve.
>>43601957Some of them are self aware enough to tell you they don’t deserve you, that they want a partner who treats them like they’re subhuman and abuses them. They may even cry and encourage you to seek someone else.People really need to hear this so they don’t fall victim: believe people when they tell you who they are. She is not ready or deserving of your love. Not now. Seldom will she ever be. Save yourself the heartbreak, OP.
>>43601957ignore this guy dont rape people lmao
>>43602153I don’t think anon is encouraging that (at least I hope not lol). Pretty sure they’re pointing out the fact that bpdemons will choose a literal abuser and forgive them infinitely while demonizing a decent partner that implores them to communicate and have a healthy relationship.
>>43601957Splitting is when they change from idolising you to treating you like absolute garbage, right?>what might be going on in their headHow do you even? Felt like walking a tight rope where nearly everything I say or do would be taken in the worst way possible or cause drama, like I don't understand her thought process at all, how she came to that conclusion it just made no sense.Was constantly turning it into blocking me for weeks and messaging all our friends to tell them how horrible I was to her.
>>43602170Essentially yes. My ex outright told me she "needed" CNC for a relationship to ever work. We talked it over thoroughly and came to a fairly intricate compromise that made it so she would still feel "fulfilled" in that way, but which let me feel like she gave me a real go-ahead and I wasn't actually doing anything she didn't consent to. I viewed it as an unfortunate necessity for the relationship to work because I was just that into her. She cheated on me with a pedophile transbian who put out cigarettes on her and beat her. She attempted to justify her actions because she was afraid I would physically hurt her. To this day she openly fantasizes about being abused, raped, gunplay, whatever else - but when she had someone who was both ACTUALLY healthy for her, ACTUALLY in love with her, AND willing to engage in things they found uncomfortable for HER sake, she chose the literal threat to society that had no intentions of treating her like a real person and immediately dumped her anyway, without even a real second thought about anything she was doing. In essence the way to keep a BPDemon around is to act awful because they feel on a subconscious level that's what they deserve. The idea of being a better person so they can feel like they deserve better is not something they ever actually entertain. The idea that they can have someone there WITH them who will help them reach that point repulses them. I have met exceedingly few BPD women who have supposedly 'overcome' their impulses and grown out of it - every single one did it after reaching a point where it was do that or basically just die. They also all became weird schizo life coach types and still failed to have real relationships. They're the ultimate case of "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink". The more you try to be what they need the more they will try to destroy you.
>>43602321>Splitting is when they change from idolising you to treating you like absolute garbage, right?Or the inverse. As the other person said they often idolize terrible monsters and give them infinite forgiveness, while demonizing decent people. It's not strictly a BPD thing either, more just an issue with people with poor self awareness and low self esteem and a bit of narcissism (BPD is cluster B after all) where they feel they're awful people, while simultaneously having insane, grand idealization of themselves ('angel' motiffs are extremely common for them if you haven't noticed) at the same time, and the inability to reconcile that cognitive dissonance, which just manifests in convincing themselves anyone who truly cares about them is 'gross'. >How do you even? I got good at it because I have a bit of the tism and developed extremely mentally destructive OCD related to it. You probably won't manage it without that. Only other type of person I've interacted with that 'got it' was someone who has BPD themselves. Just get out of there, genuinely. Cut her off. Don't interact at all. She'll have a meltdown but if you are full no contact she can only make claims that you can easily refute. If your "friends" blow you off and immediately take her side anyway, well, you weren't very good friends anyway.
>>43602474>Just get out of there, genuinely. Cut her offIs there no other way? She has said in the past that she will harm herself if I ever leave, and I can't live with that guilt.
>>43602522it’s not about you. she’ll harm herself no matter what you do. if you haven’t even started dating and she’s saying this, a relationship will be a living hell. save yourself.
>>43602641I don't even know if we are together anymore. She hasn't responded to my messages for 8 days now. I get needing space, but just nothing.
>>43602522Run far, far away
>>43602741perfect opportunity to block and forget
>>43602741She’s going to finally respond crashing out about you having a “laughable concept of time” because how DARE you worry and want communication?
>>43602741You're fucked probably. If you leave her be and just pretend she doesn't exist for a bit she MIGHT come crying back, but she'll do the same thing again later. You won't listen to me, because people just generally don't when it comes to BPDemons (and for whatever reason people always ignore me and I endlessly end up being right) but you aren't going to "fix" them. No amount of patience is going to get them to improve or stop. No amount of kindness or effort. For her to change, IF she ever does at all, it will be because she is out of options. By staying you are enabling her. The more she gets to do this things and face no consequences, the less inclined she is to ever work on herself. You could literally be her perfect ideal partner, and she yours, and it does NOT matter. She WILL NOT improve for you. She MIGHT only improve after she loses you. I am speaking from years of experience spread across multiple people.
NO NO NO DONT DO IT NO PLEASE DONT SHE WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE
>>43602884>people always ignore me and I endlessly end up being rightsus
>>43602895Actually developed pattern recognition is seen as either delusions or witchcraft, yes. The only reasoning you could have for that to be "sus" is the assumption that I'm somehow making the things happen, but if you think me telling someone things like "don't try to have a relationship with that person, they are using you for easy sex and will dump you like a cumrag right after" is what somehow CAUSED that 'relationship' to play out exactly like that, well, I would have to ask how you propose I instead use my newly recognized reality warping magic powers to better benefit myself.
>>43602946milky
