>>43607278
>decide I want to be a tranny
>realize I will never pass without expensive ffs so might as well boymode and pretend I'm a femboy
>take e anyway
>feel better but start growing tits
>currently underdosing so they grow slower until I move to America.

>>43607278
>>43607347
hrt femboys are so cute and I'd socially and sexually treat them like a woman, I just hate that they grow boobs... tiny, mini, mini boobs are okay... like just the form, but no growth PLS

When it was getting harder and harder to have my figure look the way I wanted to. Realized I wanted to look like a woman after a year of hrt femboy repping

>>43607278
im still a femboy coper i just take anti androgens and dht blockers now. its much better, i was balding at like 22 anyway so trying to not take hrt was not a good idea. might just get gyno surgery

>>43607633
I used to be like you, then I started liking the boobs and it was a wrap

>>43607727
i kinda like them but i most of the time just feel like a guy with boobs and i think id be happier if i was just a twink instead of this chimeric creature, its much better than masculinising though. i got used to it

>>43607278
What is the practical difference for me, the boyfriend?
Just whether I call you good boy or good girl? Is that it? I'm fine with whichever you prefer.

>>43607837
This ain't a chaser thread, shoo

>>43607347
>>43607278
Do people like you not have gender dysphoria? You didn't want to be girls as kids? Puberty was whatever?

>this reread thinks I'm going to reply seriously to a tripfag with that name
lmao

>>43607278
Femboys and HSTS are second cousins.
Femboys are gay, most trans women are straight

>>43607888
Jokes on you, I was a straight femboy turned transbia

>>43607925
same, its quite common

I think being a feminine man just fits me better
>straight, no androphilia
>being seen as a woman in casual situations sounds like more problems than it's worth
>too many concerns with hrt
>want to have kids someday

>>43607278
yeah i did this but never took E so now im just a man again, fuck my life

>>43608107
Take E then

>>43608145
im old as shit it's too late. i want to have a normal life not be belittled by all of humanity

>>43608181
You will never have a normal life with these feelings. It's never too late to start

>>43608193
im taking the lesser evil, i can repress what i feel on the inside but i wont be able to stop outside hostility

>>43608229
John 50 awaits you

>>43608244
at 50 years old i truly hope i will have other shit to worry about

>>43607856
I thought it was either a horrible inevitability or something I would get over when I grew up. I grew up in a Christian household in Albania and told anything lgbt related was wierd and sinful, so I didn't know anything about transition until I was 16. There were a few moments I felt I should be a girl like when they preached a sermon about Adam and eve I felt I had eves curse, I wished there were a gender picker like in video games, I was jealous my sisters grew boobs and were allowed to have long hair and I didn't grow boobs and was forced to get buzz cuts, I peed siting down and never used urinals, and when i was a teenager it got to the point i thought everyone should have been born a woman because why would you want to be a man. But I couldn't think of myself as a woman then or now because the chasm between me and most women feels so vast that I am trapped lonely and miserable on the wrong side. Even if I somehow get ffs and pass I don't think I will ever internally think of myself as a woman, but being as much of a woman as I can be is better than completely being a man.

>>43608259
you will, like the damage alcoholism/drug abuse has done to your body and how you have no meaningful relationships

>>43608407
Had similar experiences growing up religious like that. Being an estrogenized thing is plenty good enough even if sometimes I feel terminally malesouled.

>>43608437
listen, i've never done drugs, and i drink alcohol very responsibly. But yeah i have no friends, i'd have even fewer fiends if i was trans doe

>>43608482
ymmv, i made all my friends after trooning out.

>>43608552
i live in conservatoland and i've already met the very very few trans people that live here, not worth it

>>43608480
It doesn't feel good enough but at this point I'm not sure if being a woman would help much. I don't know how much of it is me wanting to be a woman or me hating myself.

>>43608591
Ehhhhh I've found that even when I don't feel like a woman, when I don't hate myself I actually like being kind of an estrogenized fag. The things I hate are male features that I want to fix.

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>know I'm trans from a young age
>grow up in Florida and on 4chan so everyone says being a tranny is fake and retarded
>pray I either wake up as a girl or get cured
>refused to look at men's bodies because I don't want to be gay
>in highschool friends tease me and call me femboy because I'm feminine and look like a prepubescent girl (this board calls me a luckshit whenever I post for reference)
>I guess being a femboy is okay
>start DIY HRT in college
>guy confessed to me, agree to date him
>freak out when I think about disappointing my family
>break up with him, tell him I don't like men (lie)
>date woman, absolutely miserable
>she tells me I'm too feminine for her, break up
>graduate, move to libtard state, HRT from doctor, still femboy identity
>get gendered female at work by anyone I just met (tech), break down because im definitely a troon
>fully embrace it, start dating men, come out to family
>now I'm stealth and happy

I still kinda have a mixed identity since I feel like a fraud

>>43608860
Why would you feel like a fraud?

>>43608885
Because I have been indoctrinated into thinking I'm a fake woman my whole life. I feel like calling myself a woman is a offense to all cis women.

>>43608964
I understand where you're coming from but is it fraudulent or just you being traumatized?

you did hrt for all the wrong reasons but at least you know you're retarded

>>43608986
Probably just trauma. Growing up with everyone hating trannies and browsing 4chan everyday probably gave me a condition. In public I can integrate and socialize, but at home it comes out.

>>43609046
*hugs*
Hope you heal from it

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>>43609053
Thank you, I hope everything goes well for you

>>43609146
Thank you too. I'm kinda going through that rn. Still using birth name at work (despite having a phase where being called that hurt a lot internally, but I guess I got desensitized to it?) but get gendered by strangers as female if I even get gendered at all (usually it's the latter).

>>43608618
Hopefully one day I can see things like you do and not just constantly doom.

was having dysphoria since i was a kid, and start repping as feminine gay dude since 13 bcuz everyone told me how bad is diy and my dysphoria is just a fetish. trooned out and started hrt when i was 17, now sobbing about being lateshit 5.10" hon, atleast i don't have facial hair anymore

>18 yo ruzzian boymoder

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>>43609272
I mean I'm fairly honnish and idk why I get gendered female sometimes. Picrel is what I look like with flattering casual wear (sweatpants are a cheatcode for frauding hips)

>>43609467
girl shut the fuck up

>>43609505
Okay keep in mind I'm 5'9" with 18.2" bideltoid and I big square for a face with weirdly flared mandibles.

>>43609505
also the sweatpants flare out really wide, adding like an obscene amount of hip breadth that isn't there and I'm wearing shapewear underneath to bring my waist in.

Also side profile is atrocious. Genuinely horrific chest depth.

>>43609577
>>43609593

don't you have a bf? shuuuuuuuuut the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck uuuuuuuuuup

>>43609597
I do but we were online friends long before we met IRL and he's also kind of desperate and has mild chasoid tendencies.

>>43607278
yeah ok

>be me
>be in high school
>puberty hits instantly become depressed
>goth/emo
>grow out hair and start dying it black
>wear girl pants and tight shirts
>extremely aggro and angry all the time
>extremely jealous of girls
>graduate
>gf breaks up w me because shes lesbian
>depression spiral

>overdose on /dis/, hppd
>get into psy rcs
>420chan /cd/
>you cant be trans if you dont pass (193cm)
>okay i guess im a femboy

>19 yo now
>wear even tighter clothes and silly shoes
>shave and workout
>tell new gf im training her to like girls
>openly tell friends im a girl
>dont do anything about it

>24 yo now
>same gf, move out get job
>she breaks down crying because i wont marry her
>thinks i dont care about here bc wont get her preggo
>wanting to kill myself every day due to male role
>breakup, stuck in lease together
>psychotic break remember im trans
>realize thats why this all isnt working out
>shes too trad
>its my own fault for not living up to expectations
>unfair for lying to myself and her

>move back home, start femboy diet and cardio
>keep repping anyway
>move out, smoke weed, do nothing
>decide never to troon out
>convinced HRT is a permanent decision with no going back
>convinced a single dose of AA permanently gives you osteoperosis
>terrified of big pharma and medical dependence

>29 yo old now
>covid hits
>remember im trans
>realize its not a choice
>realize its not determined by passing
>keep fucking repping anway

>be 35
>get real job
>get therapy
>get insurance
>boymoders at my job
>see a post on twitter by a cute troon about how awesome it is to be trans and how proud they are of being trans
>remember im trans again
>more visibly trans people all around me
>wtf is going on

>hairline recedes by 1mm
>start having a panic attack install VPN load up /tttt/ go to /diyhrt/
>learn about monotherapy
>learn about reversibility of hrt effects
>open up old crypto acct and boot up old phone auth
>start injections a week later

>>43609615
you're just whining atp, enjoy it

>>43609615
>insulting your bf just to insult yourself
I truly hate people like you

>>43609655
I'm prefacing that this is not like a normally constructed passoid relationship and I feel like any twinkhon could have one like it

My bf is very sweet and attentive and funny

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>>43609467
Cutting myself to this. Of course you are fine with looking like that your a woman. Some people don't get to look like that. Some people just look like wierd men even after 6 months of hrt.

>>43609761
My face has wide set features that aren't fixable with FFS. Your face, while you have some clocky features does not have terrible overall facial dimensions and will improve massively with FFS.

Type 3 forehead reduction, orbital shaving, v line jaw surgery, and a lip lift will do so much.

Also you really don't see my side profile (which is fucking terrible I have a 35" underbust)

>>43609761
Also the picture does some serious frauding. Hiding one shoulder with a hand and the other shoulder with hair is the ultimate cheat code for front profiles.

>>43609815
>"spend more money than you can ever earn then you'll look like a woman"
Also your 5 9, which is at least probable for a woman, not 5 11 which is taller than most men (I have a 32 inch underbust but that's only because I have a misaligned chest).

>>43609952
What are your shoulders like?

Keep in mind this is 2yrs HRT + hipmaxxing with pioglitazone and being formerly obese.

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>>43610003
Haven't measured them in a while so I can't renember. Here's a picture of my proportions though when I put my hands behind my back.

>>43610186
You look like your shoulders aren't bad at all, and you have decent hips. I assume you're a college student so there's decent odds you'll get some hip growth too.

Wear shapewear and high waisted pants and start working out your glutes. It'll help.

>>43609687
fuck you, treat him better than going online to call him names behind his back

>>43610441
He literally gave me one of his shirts that says "chaser" on it and I'm echoing his own insecurities that he's talked to me about as a full acknowledgement that he has them and I want to be able to be there for him

>>43607278
I haven't failed yet, but very likely I will, eventually.
>puberty debuts
>all fantasies are me being penetrated
>get on grey market AAs at 14
>tell my parents i'm a femfag
>they agree to let me estrogenize but there's no legal way before age 17
>be on various forms of grey market aas
>hrt on 17
>get bf at 19
>he dies in a car accident when I was 24 (he was 28)
>get new boyfriend at age 25 (he was 30)
>femboy all the way till now (age 30)
>got married last year
buuut...
>get increasingly "confused for a woman" (gendered correctly, really)
>i'm unironically looking at srs options to be a 'cuntboy'
>even my husband sometimes addresses me in the feminine
>look closer to a late 20s kinda-sorta-flatchested cis woman than a fem "boy"
Idk what the future holds (besides srs). Maybe eventually I will want to be a woman socially. It's quite ironic that I could be a passoid today even though I didn't want that.
Also, it'd be a bureaucratic nightmare with the marriage.
>admit to being a retarded tranny and live more comfortably
I'll probably get there eventually lol.
>>43607633
you're going to fuck up your bones, anon. You can't keep both E and T at a minimum long term.
Get the gyno surgery if you must, but get on E for your long-term health.
I'm still paying a small physical price for doing AA only in my teens (but at least I had no choice).
>>43607856
nta but if i do, it's (still) very low
>You didn't want to be girls as kids?
Nope.
>Puberty was whatever?
No, puberty sucked really fast and wanted to stop it. And I did. I just didn't want to become a man, physically.

>>43610421
Thanks for the advice (I'm a graduating highschool senior so about to start college). Still chopped without ffs tho.

>>43608259
the reason john 50 is the meme is because he had other shit to worry about

>>43607278
Bro is there any way I can use estrogen and ffs to look like sephiroth.

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>>43610472
The shirt btw

>>43610751
Yw! State Medicaid will cover FFS in a lot of places.

>>43609761
Fuck bro I look a lot like you but rounded smaller chin and bigger lips. Same big forehead ridge and man nose. I hope we can make it I think ffs might actually save us since it seems made to correct those problems, and you have good features like big eyes ffs isn't made for.

bump

>>43612588
It's new york so it might work but will be hard.
>>43612609
No wonder everyone compliments my eyes. I am def passoid material with ffs, moid without it so I hope we can get ffs. Glad you have a nice chin (inherited my chad chin from my mom ironically).

I'm going to crack soon god help me

I hate this thread

>>43607278
femboy coped for like 3 months when i was 14 then i realised i was a girl

>covid lockdowns start, can't go into work
>never really had undistracted alone time in my adult life before
>decide to try crossdressing
>avid 4chan user but never been on /lgbt/ , check it out to see if i can find advice for getting into crossdressing
>join femboy discord server
>find out some of the boys are on hrt, which I didn't even know existed or was an option
>instantly order some online because i dont want to masculinize any further
>tell myself i'd never actually transition though, i can just manmode or if im lucky be cute enough to be a femboy
>start getting laser as well
>estrogen fixes my brain
>suicidality that has been with me my whole life just disappears
>decide that getting to be a trans woman would be awesome, actually
>pinkpill like half the femboy discord
been just over 5 years now :3
life is a lot better

>>43617939
lucky, that means that you get to transition and be a girl and you never have to pretend to be a guy again and life will finally start getting better

>>43607278
dont feel sad for having been retarded, feel thankful for being an hsts and not an agphon

>>43607278
I may be headed down this path. Or maybe not. Actually I should just kill myself I'll never be happy and I don't deserve to be. Sorry if anyone reads this.

>>43620033
Might as well try her before killing yourself. What's the harm in it?

>>43607278
I just realized I never answered the OP

At like 13/14 I had a brief "feminine male" phase (wasn't exposed to femboy culture at all) but then I moided out and got really heavy and tried to kill myself and repped until my mid-20s

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>>43607278
>Be me
>parents want short king son for angry manlet dad
>naturally fem
>smaller than everyone pre-puberty
>smaller than 50% of women post puberty
>only care because other people make it a thing
>realize being short and fem makes me happy
>slowly start to feel uglier leading up to 24
>realize that I'm likely a troon but can't accept self
>transition before accepting self
>develop BDD and hate self for trooning
>send another 8ish years procrastinating on self love and accepting self as a tranny

>>43619705
btw i am super tall and masc and was ugly so if i can do it anyone can <3

>>43620344
What do you look like now?

>>43620353
imagine a beautiful woman

>>43620399
that doesn't tell me anything tho

All pinkpillers go to hell

>>43621642
No matter what

>>43607278
>wanted to identify as a boy but body forced me to identify as a woman
least retarded and most valid trans woman

>>43622916
Many such cases

>>43609761
my guy you're so attractive, male model material, I lived in New York, worked in the fashion world, don't get ffs and stop taking hrt, just accept that you're a gay male

the world doesn't need another hot man turning into some trans abomination

>>43609761
you would look sooo pretty if you transitioned. your nose, skin and hair already lend themselves to more feminine features just take that next step

>>43609761
brow shave, chin shave, upper lip filler and youre golden babe

>>43623899
>if you transitioned
>they're already on hrt
When the hugbox becomes brutal

>>43623930
Maybe set back the jaw slightly (or braces?) as well.

Like it's one of those faces that FFS will do a lot for.

>>43623940
thought she was just naturally a femme beauty in boy form sorry. that just goes to show she will be a doll when she finalizes the work

>>43609761
can we see your body? particularly with your shirt off?

>>43624002
stfu that face is moided beyond repair. Its gonna take like 3 rounds of ffs and probably djs to fix it.

Hrt femboy cope until I hit 30 and could no longer be considered a boy

>>43609761
you are so fucking hot

u guys can call me a repper or whatever but is there a hrt does that wont give me tits bc i lowkey just want nicer skin and make fat distrubution better? or does it just sghrink ur penis and u get tits anyway?

>>43609761
ur hair is pretty!

>>43608860
very relatable. i think this is the standard pipeline

>>43625337
No, estrogen does everything buddy

>>43607278
Sure I'll greentext it
>Me, 19 years old, just moved to uni, living alone, feeling alone
>Get student loan payment and immediately buy womens clothes on amazon
>suddenly want to kill myself less for some reason
>I dont think about it to hard
>want to talk to others about how crossdressing is making me want to like bathe and brush my teeth again
>join a forum
>meet a bunch of old men who crossdress in private and hide it from thier wives
>realise if I ever look like them I'd immediately lifetap down to zero
>buy hrt online(I learn about this from 4chan, discussion of hrt is banned on the CDForum)
>I go home to visit my mum. She confronts me about my c cup tits
>she tells me it's ok, she understands, she knows a man who got breast implants and goes around town asking people to touch them, so she knows exactly what's going on with me...
>tell her im getting them chopped off, its a medical problem, please please dont think im a pervert mother
>rep for 3 years
>just live as a boy with slowly expanding breasts
>but a boy who doesn't want to kill himself
>eventually become boy who wants to kill himself again but V2.0 where im cuter
>pandemic hits and I experiment a bit, I go non binary then she/her
>make a bunch of friends, life improves drastically, only want to kill myself the normal acceptable amount
>hitting 10 years hrt this year
>probably going to have a party for it, ill invite all my friends

It's always the tits, huh?

>>43625471
I'm glad you had a happy ending. How are things with your mom now?

>>43625576
Things are good, shes accepting but not really interested in hearing about the hard or emotional parts. She doesn't think im a pervert im pretty sure though

I only see her maybe once a year but I was just a bridesmaid at my sisters wedding and we had the chance to catch up

>>43625630
Happy for you!

>>43625575
basically lol

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>>43607278
actual verbose as fuck biography ahead. deal with it

First phase
>know I'm probably a tranny by the time i'm 12
>already thoroughly horrified by what puberty did to me
>s-surely it's normal and lots of men feel this way right??? maybe it'll go away right???
>know my father would never accept it and would blame her
>plus I was terminally chan'd the fuck up since 12 (agony) and afraid of bullying
>only grow more depressed and self-hating

Second phase
>18 / 19
>only life plan is to become homeless
>finally start to crack b/c my mom couldn't stop me from growing my hair out now or buying clothes I'd like
>call myself a femboy to cope with not quite passing
>but deep down I know what I am
>19
>let an online friend fly over and stay in my room for a week
>first (and so far only) person I ever fuck
>also the first person to treat me like a woman
>he even gets me to go outside in a dress for the first time one romantic night
>I truly believe for the first time that maybe it could be alright
>then he outs me as trans to my mom before i'm ready
>then he ghosts me a week later
>still get on HRT since he gave me hope
>any hope =/= much hope
>2 weeks in
>cry endlessly, totally disgusted at my appearance
>quit HRT
>call myself a femboy again and cope it's better than trying and failing to pass

Third phase
>21
>life is hell
>developed severe intestinal illness causing 10/10 agony
>23
>experience personality TRANSFORMATIVE amounts of pain for TWO WEEKS in the worst episode while unable to eat
>nearly die
>viscerally know there's fates worse than death
>and that I truly hate my life
>24
>finally starting to heal physically and mentally
>realize I'll never stop wondering what-if
>realize I've never been living for myself, just ideas of pleasing others
>get back on HRT
>slowly learn self-care and ease into transition
>voice train
>somehow turn out only mildly clocky -- want FFS but friends say I pass
>wow i really should have done this sooner
>happy I'm finally alive

>get on hrt at 18
>try to transition and girl mode look like a total hon
>find femboy server and vibe with the people there
>i'm a femboy now
>keep taking and still taking hrt tho
>over the y ears more and more femboys turn into transs girls
>acknowledge I'm still trans, but know that the best I'll ever hope for is twinkhon
>work in a masculine industry where being trans would actually get me fired
Nowadays I'm too old to call myself a femboy but I present as a boy who's femme. I dream that one day I'll be able to get FFS and maybe girl mode one day, but it's probably never going to happen.

>>43608074
If you don't want the full experience you could try Dutasteride. It's mostly for staving off male pattern baldness, should be very easy to get issued. Causes fairly significant feminization, no breast growth. This shouldn't be a problem for you.

>>43609300
real