>be me, boymoder>trying to be a kinder and gentler person>have friend who only recently started estrogen>she was previously kinda creepy to me but I forgave her>she trusts me>one day she sends a picture of herself>face at a near 90 degree angle from the camera, pointed up by like 30 degrees>I explain what anglefrauding is>I realize that the word itself is kinda mean so I explain that I also do it frequently>she understands it>ffw to today>she sends a pic looking directly at the camera>she looks exactly (1 to 1, even making a similar face) like front and center of picrel>the realization hits me as a completely unwanted thought, just pops into my head against my will>she asks if she looks okay>truthfully tell her she looks fine (shes not ugly just looks uncannily like that adam sandler drawing)>I sit there for a bit composing myself>walk not 3 meters from my desk before I just burst out laughing>tears in my eyes, can't breathe, everything>feel like a piece of shit the whole time>keep laughing for a few minutes>suddenly it's not funny anymore >start crying and whimpering on my bed>sniffling so hard snot goes down my throat and I wretch it back out>weakly collapse on my bed for a minute>pull out my laptop to write thisWhy am I such a piece of shit? I don't wanna think like that. I don't wanna be that person. Why the fuck can't I just be nice for once? I hate my stupid fucking brain. She's all sad about her appearance and I can't be fucking helpful about it. God dammit.
>>43611687Aw sweetie, you don't have to feel so guilty about it. You didn't say anything mean to your friend, it's okay.
>>43612553okay I'm fine now I'm mot crying about it anymore. It still just feels evil though . I don't like thinking like that
