He used to be a really bad an manipulative guy I could never find in me to leave since he was kinda my closest friend. He hurt me in a lot of ways I can't really forgive, but the last year and a half he has really turned himself around.He has become so kind and loving and thoughtful, he doesn't hurt me, he doesn't force me into sex I don't want, he did a complete 180 from a douche I should have left a long time ago, to an amazing partner. The problem is I think it is too late...I do love him, but the trauma is still there. I feel no physical attraction to him either. It's still the same issue of me not having anyone else to rely on, alongside him being kind of a one of a kind friend. Honestly, a friend is all I ever wanted him as, but he pushed me into a relationship with him all those years ago and here we are.Honestly, I don't even think I like guys much anymore after my experience with him. I have found myself much more attracted to femininity and other trans girls these days, and I find myself dreaming about being in a relationship like that. I'm scared to leave him because I don't want to be alone and I don't want to lose my best friend, but I just don't think I can live like this. I want to be with someone I am attracted to, someone I am not always reminded of trauma almost every time we interact, someone who makes me feel something. He loves me. He adores me. I hate that I can't love him the same way he loves me. I don't know what to do.
>>43622548>I don't want to be alone and I don't want to lose my best friendYou'll make new ones>Inb4 no I won't-Yes, you will
You really believe he's improved and that he's good to have in your life?How important is physical attraction to you? Does its absence cause any problems?What does he offer you now besides just being there?
>>43622573I know I likely will, but I'm scared to leave before I find someone I can be that close to. I know it sounds dumb and silly...>>43622621He has proven he's become a better and someone I can trust. He's someone I can be around almost anytime. We share lots of hobbies and interests, so much makes me think of him. He helps me whenever I need to, whether it be money, food, or emotional support. Hell I would be homeless if he hadn't helped me in my roughest of patches, but that absence of attraction is important to me. He is attracted to me and wants to do things, but I just can't with him. My mind goes to an awful place, reminding me of what he has done to me, and I can't even bring myself to feel any way towards him that way. I have needs too, I lust and yearn and desire sex, just not with him, but I don't want to just cheat on him.
>>43622702It's over. Sorry. Don't cheat on him but find your way out.
>>43622908It hurts that this may really be the end of things. I really don't want it to be, but I wouldn't be making this post if I didn't think so as well haha...I don't know what to do about it. There's no easy way to do this.
>guy changes entirely for you>He helps me whenever I need to, whether it be money, food, or emotional support>Hell I would be homeless if he hadn't helped me>Your response is to still yearn to leave himI hope he sees this thread and regrets changing himself. You are legit undeserving of love, you entitled little subhuman shit.
>>43623473He raped me and emotionally abused me for years, kinda hard to get over that just because he decided to become lucid to what he did and get better
>>43623560>He raped meI straight up don't believe you.Your own side of the story makes you the villain.Again, I hope he sees this thread and rightfully regrets ever caring about you.You don't deserve anything. You deserve less than nothing, in fact. You're an ungrateful twat.
>>43622548You're already on your way out. But you will regret this. Anytime someone has thoughts like this, they realize grass isn't always greener. No matter what you're told here you will think it's best to leave either way.
>>43623600Rapist detected
>>43622548>is raped, emotional needs arent fufilled, in an active state of fear>not leaving instantlyyouve gotta set some standards for yourself - nothing but himself stopping him from raping you again, total moid deathif you want to have your cake and eat it too try to have an amicable breakup where you stay as friends just be direct about it and dont beat around the bush(fair chance of him blowing up on you or maybe even getting violent cuz duh)
>>43623621>anyone who doesn't believe unsubstantiated claims of rape is a rapistyeah, kys.
>>43623627I tried to break up with him some years ago and he told me he would kill himself, and that even if he didn't he couldn't be around me anymore. No clue how he would react nowadays. I do like the idea of us still managing to be friends, but I don't know how realistic that is considering it will absolutely be hard on the both of us emotionally. This whole thing is just hard...I know I'm stupid for staying with him for this longI know I'm stupid for not prioritizing my own needsI just don't want to be aloneI should probably work on figuring out how to leave him and not make this situation any worse, but I don't think I know how to.Maybe I should just keep waiting until I find somebody else...
God damn he must look NAAASTY based on your backstory (I assume you are a gigahon).Grown a spine and leave him. Are you independent at least? Like do you have your own place or do you still depend on him for that?
>>43623679man this is 4chan what do u expect a police report?
>>43623986I have my own place, but I live close to him. My financial situation isn't the most stable right now, so he has been helping me with some things here and there.
>>43624053You bum, fucking get a job and leave him.
>>43624078I've been trying. Got laid off and have been job hunting for months. Trust me when I say the last thing I want to do is rely on him
