I’m 23, fully dependent on my parents, failing at life and extremely depressed with gender dysphoria being the biggest contributing factor. I’m 6’5 and stand no chance of ever passing but I don’t care at this point I just want something. I’m not on hrt because my mother who has controlled every decision ever made in my life had basically full control of everything. She has access to my bank account, I am under her insurance, I don’t know how to live on my own because I’m an autistic retard and I was never allowed to. I tried to tell my mom I’m trans and she was ‘accepting’ but immediately after she started humiliating me by constantly talking about how masculine I was, when I told her she was obviously fucking hurting me she acted like she couldn’t even comprehend why and that reinforcing my masculinity would obviously be the right thing to do. I’m done talking to her about this, she’s done this my whole life, she treats me like a problem she needs to fix and she has told me this herself, she will not accept me but she will pretend she is and shift the blame onto me if I say anything. I can’t get on hrt, I can’t do anything, I have no hope for a future being a girl or a future in general and my mental health is rapidly spiraling. I don’t know what to do because everything is tied up in my mom, I have no money of my own and no idea where to even start figuring this shit out I just want to have estrogen before I get even worse, but I’m a colossal pussy whose scared of everything and every time I’ve tried to push through that it’s backfired. I have no money for hrt, diy or otherwise, my mom would find out even if I did since she regularly ‘cleans’ my room for me without asking and looks through all my shit.What do I even do
You do your best. You in a blue state or red state?
>wall of textJust get a job nigga
>>43624266You sound like a self fulfilling prophecy. Why don’t you just get on diy? You can buy it with cash. You only think you cant do it because it feels inevitable and you’re dooming. If you get out of that mindset you might be able to actually do it.
>>43624334Swing state, I actually don’t know what Michigan counts as right now since we went red in the election
>23>"my mother..."Get a job quickly and get an apartment with roommates or rent a room in a house or something. I know that's easier said than done at the current time. Never live with your parents past 18 you will completely stunt yourself in life even if you save money.
>>43624396I’m well aware that to some extent I’m a self fulfilling product but I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t have money, and my mom would lose her mind if she found out
>>43624460I want to do this but I don’t have any friends I could move in with and I would need to essentially need to win the lottery if I wanted an entry level position someone as unqualified as me could land that could also pay for rent
>>43624266try just going to a doctor and talking about it and seeing how far you can get towards going on hrt
>>43624626Just any doctor or do I need an appointment with someone specific?
>>43624266literally feel the exact same way at times, except im 27
>>43624848nta, talk to your primary dr. you dont have to tell your parents what the appointments for dont say shit, just go. if they get really nosy just say "dr wants blood work for some shit idk". the dr will hook you up with an endocrinologist who is the one that will give you the meds. if that dr wont or says "idk if i can do that" find another dr in your network that will. every insurance has a portal to do this. if you have a epo/ppo plan you can technically just skip the primary dr and go straight to an endo. when you go to the endo say youre trans and you want gender affirming care. what happened to me was they just immediately gave me a contract to sign about shit being used off label. if they stone wall just keep finding docs until you find one that will give it. you may have a gender health center nearby call them if you keep getting stonewalled theyll tell you who to go to. once you get the prescription you need need need to make sure that the pharmacy you go to has you listed as separate for notifications. basically dont want your parents to get sms alerts "EST READY FOR PICKUP". also you need to call your insurance preferrably before getting the RX, tell them that you dont want the gender affirming care to show up on any Explanation Of Benefits. The have to legally put them on the list but they will do some order bs so that if its at the bottom of the list and possibly get cut off. another thing they can do is if ur an adult, you can make your own "account" thats listed as dependent but the EOB is sent to you, not your parents. if you can do that, switch to paperless so a letter doesnt even get sent out. they can do stuff to hide the codes from your mom for privacy reasons but you need to talk to them. if ur parents take ur meds, first put them in a lock box and keep the key on you at all times, second thats illegal, get a police report for theft and go back to the pharmacy and show them that as proof your shit got stolen. theyll refill it.
>>43625151Thank you, will call my Primary Care soon
>>43625411np. also in case you need it every insurance has a formulary where you can look up what drugs will and will not be covered. if ur dr tries to play that as "not covered" you can literally search it yourself to see if theyre lying and you dont have to call insurance to ask cause theyre just gonna use the same list. each formulary is different per insurance so you'll need to find the one for your plan and it should be in ur insurance portal somewhere probs hidden. read ur presc carefully it needs to match the drug and the amounts 20mg/ml might not be covered but 10mg/ml will for example. i needed this info to get my dr to switch to shots. the hospital staff that does billing has access to this so if they do their jobs you wont have to bother with any of this they do it for you. get a copy of ur insurance plan details or certificate of coverage. it tells you exactly what is and isnt covered. you need it for surgeries and shit.
>>43625483I have a shit ton of anxiety with this kind of stuff because getting on meds for my other assorted metal illnesses as a teen was a nightmare. This all feels really fucking overwhelming but I’ll try to keep it all in mind. Hopefully I can get something done
>>43625997just keep that things at the back of your mind until something becomes relevant. im telling you because there will be hurdles and now you have more of an idea on what to do when they come up. it may not be all of them or any if youre lucky. when i started all this info wouldve been nice, so for whoever sees this its out there. you just go one step at a time.
>>43624266No advice to give, but I'm in virtually the exact same situation. Trying to figure out how to DISCRETELY gain independence from parents' insurance and sever other financial ties all feels very overwhelming to me as well. Good luck to you. :P
