Coming here has ruined my transition. I no longer feel any happiness or joy from my transition and I don't look forward to who I could end up being. All I ever do is feel miserable and feel like I need to detransition because I feel like I'll never be a woman. Every possible thing wrong with how I look and act and think is all I care about, I can't look for or even think it's possible for things to make me happy. I don't do anything anymore, I just sit on here. I just want to be happy again like I was when I started my transition. I'm sorry, I don't want to be this critical and miserable anymore
LEAVE
>>43630640its probably impossible to go back to being oblivious. i think the best u can do is do stuff that makes u uncomfortable(girlmode etc) so u can get used to the discomfort
>>43630640would u think other people in ur situation, eg their brain just got swapped with urs, would benefit more from ur life/circumstances than u? that u dont really deserve it…?
>>43630640GET OFF THIS FUCKING WEBSITE YOU IDIOT"Ohh lemme get on the make yourself a bitter and misrable website". just close this tab and never reopen it ever. Otherwise you want to feel miserable I don't care if you say otherwise. I'm here because I want to be miserable and give up. if you want to be happy then save yourself otherwise don't lie to yourself.Either you try to get better or you try to get worse you can't do both so commit.
>>43630665I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop myself from coming here whenever I feel bad. I keep coming back here to hurt myself. I don't have control over my own life or actions>>43630674I can't girlmode, I look nothing like a woman and nothing would look good on me and it'd just be AGP degeneracy. I feel like such a disgusting freak for ever thinking I could ever be a real woman>>43630679no, not at all. I started transitioning at 22 at which point my bones and fat had been fixed in place and since then (just over a year) I've not changed a single bit, I still look like a disgusting ogre of a man and that's never going to change because everything is locked in place. I'll never get better and I'll never be a real woman>>43630716I don't know how to. I keep coming back here no matter what. I don't really have anywhere else to go, everywhere else is so fucking disgusting and degenerate and they hate the way I talk about this sort of thing. I keep coming back here, I know how bad it is for me but I keep doing it because I can't control myself. I wish I could never come back here again but I keep doing it and I don't know how to stop
>>43630665i think many people try to run from otherwise escape their problems. they think the grass is greener. they dream of moving to florida. it's moot. you might be happy for the first six months. the honeymoon phase. sure. after that? you're gunna miserable again. i guarentee it. why? because you are your own devil. the grass looks greener when it isn't covered by your shadow.
>>43630640Oh girl you just need freinds.this place js not a substitute for a supportive network go befriend some hons and stop judging everyone so much. Irl none of this petty shit matters
hello nonawhat you need is to connect with something else. you connected with this place at one point in your transition and thats why you stayed. something about this place resonated with you, perhaps it was because it felt 'realer' in that it was not overly positive. you probably did get something really meaningful from that for a time! but now it has stopped serving you and its time to move on. you need to find something new to connect to in the same way. have a think about what you want - if you want to feel positive about transition again, its time to connect to something that makes you feel in touch with your womanhood. for me, that meant being more part of the world around me. i experimented with self expression again, like i got back into practicing new makeup looks, i started dancing, stuff like that. i made some new friends. i think you could also start finding spaces with other (normal, not self hating) women to talk with. all these things might allow you to find new things that are meaningful for you like this place once was.it is very possible to move on from the bleak doomerist perspective of this board but it requires you actively trying hard to move on
>>43630768who wants to be friends with hons?
>>43630777there are two types of 'hon'the first is like, the actual stereotype of a weird nasty tranny who acts inappropriately and cannot be chill. they are real but rare and easily avoided.the second is a perfectly cool, fun but clocky tgirl who is only someone you would not want to be friends with if you're full of self loathing because of how this board is. they are the vast majority of trans women, most trans girls are rad. the only reason you would not want to be associated with them is if you hate what we are.
>>43630777decent people (might be hard to find ngl) if the hons are decent people too
>>43630768how can I get friends when everyone hates me for the way I am? How can I have friends when I'm just a disgusting ugly ogre man everyone hates. I'm disgusting>>43630773I don't know how to find new places and make new friends, every time I try they hate me for the way I talk and am. This board has ruined the way I think about this and it has made me hate any attempt at being feminine, anything sexual, and make me have a really negative opinion of trans people as a whole. I don't know how I can possibly retrain my brain to fix the way I think about these things
>>43630787>dont let how negative this board is get to you>vast majority of trans women are hons
>>43630742You want to hurt yourself because you've been convinced that what you are is deserving of hurt and suffering. There's nothing wrong with transitioning and there's nothing wrong with being ugly or being a "hon" or having queer friends that are deemed unacceptable by society. There's nothing inherently wrong with struggling, there's nothing inherently wrong with having trauma, there's nothing inherently wrong with the desire to fit in. At some point, you will have to forgive yourself. You've inadvertently let the wolves turn you into your own predator while they sit and laugh at you, they don't even have to do anything to keep hurting you. You have to be the one to forgive yourself and when you do, you can move on from places that validate your distorted line of thinking.
>>43630640suicide
>>43630896i'm sorry i might not have been clear. i was trying to insinuate that being clocky is not the same thing as being a hon or being gross or whatever, and even if a lot of trans girls are clocky they are also often bad af and really worth spending time with
>>43630842>I don't know how I can possibly retrain my brain to fix the way I think about these thingsstop coming here and start doing the stuff that makes you feel scared or gross. the only way out is through. you can't just think your way out of it, you need your behaviours to lead. posting here is a behaviour that keeps you feeling this way, being a girl irl is a behaviour that is going to allow you to form new ways of thinking over time
Waow u sound just like meI can’t rly tell u how to quit cuz im still here but I have at times taken breaks from this place that have lasted months by just getting rly into a hobby like a good video game or creative project or smthU prob did smth similar to deal w dysphoria before u transitioned, right? I know I did… just try doing that againArmored core 6 and Elden ring are v good games… or maybe u prefer reading, I have been reading the three body problem books they’re coolSometimes the best u can do for urself is just distract ur mind from thinking about like, real life and being a person and existing and stuff cuz that shit is lame af>t. hrt at 22 lurking since 2019 permamoder
Find something to do outside of here. Find other people. You want people.
