Since I was very small I've had a fundamental difference in my brain that separates me from everyone else. I'm not autistic, it does look like autism though. I'm told the word is neurodivergent. I don't see myself to be the same kind of thing everyone else is. I'm not alone, but I'm not in the "normal." I didn't experience gender dysphoria until around halfway through puberty. I don't understand the circumstances of it. I became incredibly depressed around this time for a couple years. They put me on meds and got me out of it. My sexual feelings have begun to change too. I was addicted to porn for a while, but I feel less and less. I think HRR is to do with that. The two feelings quickly manifested into AGP, but my preferences have been changing. I don't find the idea of myself being feminized arousing. I also used to be purely sapphic but now I don't really fall into a group. I'm inconsistent now, and I've developed a fascination with the human body I don't think I've seen in anyone else I've met. I find illustratioms of blood and guts arousing now too. The dysphoria stayed despite the feelings of AGP leaving. Unfortunately I was a massive pussy and didn't start HRT until 17. I got unlucky with puberty and I look like a disgusting man now. I've only been on HRT for 7 months, so I have to have patience, but the effects feel like an actual meme. I know I'm not hondosing. I've begun to exercise more and fatmaxxing in hopes I can at least shift the fat around my unfortunate skeleton to at least look like a feminine girl. I probably need surgery but I don't know where to even get surgery. Whatever's wrong in my brain made school impossible for me past elementary school, so I dropped out and am trying to get a GED. The only field I'm interested in and understand is game development, but I'm still extremely new to that and I don't even know how to get my foot in the door. Is there any hope to be had for me? I can post photos later but not right now.
HRT* not HRR*. Got two sentences backwards too. Should have proof-read.
