If you went to the psych ward, and the doctor advised you stop taking estrogen, and date other men while letting yourself act really fruity, would you do it?

>>43742482
>Have you ever gone to a psych ward? If so, what was it like?

been three times.
It was horrible because I was in psychosis the entire time. Eventually I learned to manage the voices. Still hear them every day but I am able to ignore them.

Unironically anti-psychotics nearly fucking killed me holy shit they are evil and I get why schizos never take them.

What's stopping u from buying hrt online unironically

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Should I move out? My job isn't exactly stable, I don't earn much (i'm a wagie college student) and I think it's probably a horrible idea to depend on it with rent and stuff being crazy high, plus I can be fired any second. But at the same time, I'm genuinely going fucking insane and I don't know how much longer I can keep repping, and I can't troon out while living with my parents. They have no concept of privacy and love to keep tabs on me at all times, where I went, who I'm around, etc. The point is I wouldn't be able to keep it secret for long. wtf do i do

>>43742482
>>QOTT: Have you ever gone to a psych ward? If so, what was it like?

yea i kept tryin to kill myself as a teenager so i went 3x. i dont remember them all very visibly cuz i was always chockfull of drugs but i met someone who had DID and would black out and break their own arms and their arms looked like they had been mauled to death by a tiger. another girl was a manic depressive type 2 assumedly and if you asked her to count anything she HAD to finish counting and she kept getting bootyjuiced cuz if she was being annoying wed just ask her how many clothes she had at home and if the staff tried to stop her from counting she would get violent. there was another guy who took a bunch of LSD and burned down his familys home. i was getting beat the fuck up every day and at no point in my teenage years was i ever over BMI 15 (not on purpose) so of course i kept tryin to die. tbf once i was in the looney bin i started thinkin like damn things arent THAT bad

I believed a naive lie thinking the meme waitlist wouldnt be a meme, it ended up being a 1-2 year long waitlist.
Getting therapy to get over my irrational fear of needles then doing DIY, I already have a vial just cant get myself to do it I tweak out too hard over the needle

>>43742796
maybe it's a sign you don't need estrogen to be happy at all

>>43742817
The fear of needles not allowing me to inject?
Its due to being forcefully injected in my arms and feet multiple times as a kid and now I just freak out.
Also I am not happy

>>43742496
the doctor would get thrown in the psych ward for hallucinating because reppers don't take estrogen

>>43742482
>QOTT
no because I'm not stupid enough to not lie

total honlarper death

>>43742482
>QOTT
not yet but I might go in the next 2-3 weeks depending on if my doctor believes me

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I know I asked this in the last thread but that is lost now.

How does one write a repressor character?

>>43742498
even if I take it, and even if a miracle happens and I magically transform into my perfect self fully formed the day after, all of the wasted years up to that point I can never get back and I don't know how to deal with that

>>43742482
>QOTT: Have you ever gone to a psych ward? If so, what was it like?
Got forcibly sent to the psych ward for my alcoholism and self harm scars when I was a teenager. It didn't help one bit and I ended up worse afterwards, whole week and 10000 dollars down the drain.

i'm a MTM trans repper

>>43743871
>that is lost now
no it isnt it's literally in the archives still dummy
scroll up

>>43743871
>How does one write a repressor character?
Sudden out of nowhere off-screen suicide

>>43743871
paranoia + depression

>>43743871
Kaczynski mixed with Mishima mixed with a dysfunctional hikkikomori

>>43742482
>Have you ever gone to a psych ward? If so, what was it like?
no cause i always keep everything to myself and i cant be taken there if people dont know something is wrong with me in the first place

>>43742796
I know this is like, a mental block and not a physical one, but something that helped me is knowing that nerves have a limited bandwidth. I always dig my nails into the skin I'm holding when I inject, so I don't even feel the needle go in at all. Of course, that's more of a pain management thing, and less of a "getting over the initial fear response" thing, but I hope that helps somewhat <3

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Used to anon, what server ya play?

>>43742482
so what are the practices
can we get a preference in 'meeting the goddess' because of anima possession agp crap
whatever you guys don't know shit

>>43746052
I might try subq next because I remember getting a vaccine that I did not feel at all and I remember the nurse grabbing a bit of skin before injecting so I'm assuming that was subq

i feel like i'm dying is that normal

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Thinking about buying a bunch of fem clothes so I can wear them and see how awful I look and maybe I can get the desire out of my system for a few months. Worth it?

>>43742482
yeah i have been once. kinda sucked.
>>43742499
antipsychotics are just makijg you numb stressed and fuck up metabolism. poison. smoking somewhat counteracts it.

i miss femrepgen

>>43743871
You didn't reply to my post with Lain pic. Was it helpful?

i hate you all <3

>>43742796
I got through my official waitlist in a few months but freaked out and didn't attend. When I applied again a year later while DIYing it was five years before I withdrew myself from it.
Thinking back, it would've been really embarrassing to go through an official transition only to desist sometime afterwards.
Thankfully I couldn't change my name due to solicitors refusing to sign off on it unless the name was masculine too. It'd be so embarrassing having to ask so many people to change it back.

>>43747423
I'm sorry but I'm having a hard time understanding what you are trying to say due to how its formatted

>>43743871
Read Garielle Lutz

>>43747504
I got through a waiting list quickly, but chickened out.
I applied again shortly after and it was five years before I withdrew my application, because no progress was made.
I'm thankful I never made it through the waiting list because had I transitioned "officially" and changed my documentation it would have been embarrassing to later ask for it to be reverted when I gave up on transitioning

>no vagina

Just throw me into a volcano.

>>43742498
No
I’m not trans

>>43747930
Trannies are somehow ok with having anal sex as if it isn't highly disgusting.
ANAL IS GROSS
WHY IS EVERYONE PRO-ANAL

Why does everybody hate us so much

>>43743871
i would love to read what you end up writing that would be much easier to comment on

Yeah I've been to the psych ward four times. The first was after a drug-induced psychosis (weed). I was there for a week. The second time was a relapse into psychosis one year later. It lasted about two weeks.
I then started having non-epileptic seizures while on the antipsychotic Olanzipine, that got more severe and frequent every timely dose was upped. I attempted suicide and was sent to the psych ward after getting my stomach pumped. I was there for a month and a half.
I was alright for three years, but then I relapsed at the beginning of 2024. I was in the psych ward for two months.

The most recent visit was by far the worst. I was incredibly unwell. Was delusional/hallucinatory for a much longer time. I was put on Rispiridone but it gave me terrible akithisia (a sense of inner restlessness/anxiety - it's like hell), switched to Aripriprazole but that didn't help, and then finally switched back to Olanzipine and this time it seems to be doing the trick. No more akithisia, no more delusions/hallucinations. Really the only symptom left is intrusive thought (still pretty bad but much better than the other symptoms combined).
Let's hope it doesn't happen again.

>>43743871
for trvetrans repper, just someone that is very quiet, meek, lonely shut-in, drinks a lot but never in public, asexual (but secretly attracted to men) and happens to have a huge bricky body

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I may be a shut in and unemployed but I have I am not an alcoholic like a lot of people here so I feel better about myself

>>43749275
no two trvereppers are the same. i'm for example a shut-in, but employed and also an alcoholic.

>>43749121
Me except I drink very little, more demi than ace (and only attracted to women), body not that big but obviously too big to pass

>>43749275
ive never drank alcohol, i wonder whats it like

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Genuinely what's the point in taking hrt if:

>I have genuinely unpassable, masculinized face (brow bone, jaw, midface and jewish fucking looking nose)
>broad, masculine AF shoulders (could probably have success if I decided to be gymrepper)
>Voice that many people commented on being boomy, loud and low
>I literally look my most mannish man father

Passing is not an option and fighting my own body is like mopping the rain

Idc if I have friends or a partner that would be tolerant (my gf noticed my experimentation with gender expression and said she would love me no matter what I am, even said I would look cute/hot with tits)

It all doesnt fucking matter since Im never gonna see myself as woman, only a deformed male.

I've chickened out of talking with my therapist about it, and thats probably a good thing

I wish I've never found about femboys at 16, maybe I would've suffer without knowing what it is, and it would make repping easier

>>43749320
>>43749275
don't know how you do, i have like 10-20 drinks every weekend evening/night

>>43749344
>maybe I would've suffer without knowing what it is
Everyone knows about fags/trannys anon. Even the legit straight right wingers know about it, they just angry.

>>43749351
Even at the time I wished I was a femboy when I was a teen, it still never occured to me that I could ever consider myself trans, I literally rejected that notion, the trans shit came up recently, like 2-3 tears ago, which comes in waves. Even before femboy stuff I knew about fags and trannys, and the sole knowledge about them didn't make me question anything.

If I was never exposed to any crossdressing or tranny bullshit I wouldn't ever think twice I could be one

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>>43749275
>>43749329
same. though one time i got pressured into drinking a shitty beer by my stepdad like 2 years ago, took a sip and it tasted like piss. never drinking again nor letting anyone pressure me into doing this shit ever again

>>43749441
>and it tasted like piss.
you drink to get drunk and learn to like the taste over time.

does adding cream liquor to the coffee in the morning count as drinking alcohol?
i refuse to add any other spirit excepts maybe amaretto cus its sweet but everything else sucks major ass

I don't understand how some of you can cope without alcohol. It's genuinely one of the few things that temporarily makes life worth living for me.

>>43749727
My grandpa was an alcoholic for years, seeing what it can do to someone I'm choosing to steer clear

>>43749727
Unfortunately for me alcohol isn't working anymote

>>43749344
What's the point in not taking it? If you are as mannish as you say you are, you can just stop if you don't like it. Yeah, maybe you have some breast tissue growth, but if if you don't do prog, it's nothing that can't be hidden. If you think it even has a remote possibility of making you happier, you should do it.

>>43750315
>Yeah, maybe you have some breast tissue growth,
Not that anon but I only took HRT for like 6 months before people IRL started questioning me about it.

>>43750390
nta but you’re either retarded or a luckshit

want to kill myself so much its insane to me there are real living trans people that just get to be their gender it makes no sense at all

>>43749275
you think you are better than us, huh?!
stop being a damn ugly faggot for once, man up and consume the Product!
>>43749329
kinda as pleasant as drinking gasoline and getting enjoyment from the brain cells blinking out of existence
don't touch the stuff if you can avoid it, it's pure shit

>>43749329
it's the only drug that
>a)
numbs the pain
>b)
actually lasts decently long
>c)
doesn't totally remove consciousness unless you really overdo it, which is easy to control
>d)
is really inexpensive and easily accessible

>>43749344
idk. some of us are born to suffer.
but to be serious there are many that while they'll never will pass fully will be seen as feminine even by the haters, not talking pity passing but troon passing.
and of course many troons are too self hating to see they pass better than they believe...
>i wish I've never
dumb wish. better knowing you aren't alone in feeling those things even if things are (partially) fucked?

>>43752599
as a swede i can't agree on the last one, booze is expensive as hell ;_;

>>43752618
it's way less expensive than opiates etc.

technically i guess cannabis is a little less expensive than alcohol, but for me it just amplifies the thoughts and makes me feel even worse

sometimes i wish i had a friend to do drugs with :(
would be better than drinking alone or even worse be sober

far too ugly and old to have friends so just something to cry about... like if i didn't have enough already

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What's the most AGP thing you've ever done?

>>43752823
i actually hate spending time with other people, being perceived is painful for me. i can cope at work because i just dissociate and focus on performing my role all day

>>43752886
totally get that
they say to get out and do things, and what do those things give you?! people seeing you as something disgusting, something to be feared as a big strange man behaving not totally as an npc

fine, i mean i get the feeling, not that you are even close to a cryptid like me, not even suggesting that

>>43749754
Funnily enough I remember being 10 or 11 and already knowing I'd end up an alcoholic. Wasn't even peer pressured into it, just started drinking alone in my room out of my own volition.
>>43752870
Would rather not say but I'm literally agp.

Iim going to start destroying my dick with death grip so that hopefully I lose feeling in it and dont get erections at all anymore

>>43748760
We remind them about the most negative aspects of their existence, which they want to ignore and forget.

>>43748760
too insane to be normal, not insane enough to be trannies

>>43748760
because we suck on a fundamental level

>>43743871
Someone with an irrational belief that they are destined for failure, somewhat to the point of narcissistic behaviour. "I'm a SPECIAL case, what works for these others, will NOT work for me. Woe is me.". Potentially competent but not driven. Rich inner world(i.e cope)

Good archetype to put into like the hero journey bit i guess.

>>43742720
this probably wont be helpful, but either way you gotta find a way to express boundaries to your parents. if you've already done this, just accept that fact that they might never love you again. my sister decided I was a fetishist (whatever that means) one day even though she was initially supportive; her brand of crazy. Ma and pa were abusive anways

>>43749275
>>43749329
>>43749441
missing out desu

I just saw a female deer run through my neighborhood. Reminded me of that boymoder image

Ngl it's extremely cringe to see anti-male / anti-incel trannies. Especially when they are non-passing or hon-adjacent. It's like a friend who drops contact with you the second they get a 5/10 gf, pathetic bucket crab behavior.

>>43756148
I agree, I think most sex havers (and i say this as one) really need to stop looking down on incels so much. I k ow how it feels and its not nice

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i don't want to be a tranny...

still agp but women are so annoying

>>43749727
i used to cope with gooning particularly anal gooning because y'know it's so fem and nice but it depends on psychological state and ever since i start poking some more psychologically anal poking doesn't feel so good anymore

>>43742670
it's illegal
they could ask you to explain why you're importing controlled substances

I would always be faketrans even if I got srs, but post-op cis male on hrt who wants to present femininely and be female frankly just sounds retarded

>>43755976
i was a hardcore alcoholic until i read about how much alcohol contributes to visceral fat storage, which is part of what gives guys a gut. then again it also suppresses T so I guess YMMV

i hate how i look so much i just want to die already being seen by others is so painful

>>43742670
i'm a neet so no money

>>43742670
>supporting some troon's bedroom business so they get to afford FFS and live happily
take the bitterpill

Passoids should be taxed at 20% extra to give to reppers.

>>43758912
i should be allowed to kill 5 passoids a year for being a repper

Do you think trannies are more paranoid/narcissistic than the average person.

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I wish I could've experienced highschool as a girl and had a boyfriend and had friends instead of being a shut in who choose not to go and will ever experience the warmth of another person without feeling repulsed.

>>43759447
I think they're more likely to have all sorts of attachment issues and personality disorders in general, not necessarily just narcissism.

>>43759447
Yes

>taking hrt will at least allow me to be comfortable with my body
>cone tits two meters apart
they got me good

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Fresh off another hangover from my latest bender, and already want to get drunk again but too broke to afford more cheap vodka or wine.