Can any of you relate? Be me, Forced into the closet for decades>Physically beaten into submission>Inheritance stollen by psychotic brother and dad's x-wife. Lifelong trauma conditioning with no privacy>Typical right wing cultist familyGot married, had kids, Still got treated like retarded fag by abusive surviving family Wife couldn't be happy like thatFinally come out of the closet Even though late transitioner, Kept in excellent shape from anorexia and tons of fitness Always wanted to transition Finally start transitioning Wife takes the kids and leaves Fall in love with 20 year old trans female Saves her from deathDefends her from violent traffickersSuper happy romantic honeymoon phase for less than a monthPsycho family abuses herWe escape to different state Nothing was ever the same againNow we're still trying but just want to die... Is this relatable to any of you?
>>43951955>anorexia>excellent shape
>>43951955Yum
>>43953851Eating at a constant deficit + putting in cardio doesn't put you in auschwitzmode.>>43951955Cptsd's a bitch, sister, and I'm glad you're out and relatively safe. Cut contact with both of your families and disappear. You will feel you want to do nothing and kys for months to years. That's okay. That's what your nervous system does to you after you've been to hell and back all your life. > You need supportProfessional if you can afford it, and you should even if you need to eat less for that (try to stay near your maintenance calories tho). Claude/Chatgpt if you cannot. It's not a therapist but better than nothing. At first, you will need to sleep more and do less. That's okay. That's not failure, that's you adjusting. Stay strong, sister.
>>43954857You won't believe it will ever end. Not now, not til a long time, and when it gets a little better you will blame yourself for being a monster to the mother of your children and your children, too.Nona, you are carrying a lot right now.It's okay to not be okay.You are not a monster.You deserve freedom. Even if it feels worse than before.Believe me, time will make it more bearable. It won't heal your wounds. But each time you circle them, the circle will lead you just the slightest bit farther out.I really, really hope you're not alone right now and you have someone next to you. Because you need people in your life. People who could help would be the best. But people who you need to force a smile to and lie that you're all right just to keep you going just one more day - that's enough.Remember that you only need to kys tomorrow.And in time, that tomorrow will always stay in the future.
>>43953925That made me tear a bit, thank you.>You will feel you want to do nothing and kys for months to years.Currently in that phase... I hope it ends. <3I don't see an end to it...Therapy seems pretty pointless... Common sense advice... had to switch therapists already. My first therapist was trans, I had high hopes, but they transitioned at like forty, nothing wrong with that, but they were like cold as hell/former army paratrooper or something... That wasn't a fit for me... lol... ;,(
>>43954902>oops (@>_<@) Was fixing my first reply and adding to it. Yeah, you really get it.... Me and my partner really are alone in this world for now. At least she got a supportive therapist.
