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The next few posts without pics will be copies from last thread because GOD DAMN IT.

Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct afaik.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

>>43922977
>I think I've hit some sort of limit with my girlfriend.
>She's really pushy and in general somewhat controlling of me, my life, finances, etc.
>I'm repping hard and have been basically my whole life.
>it's a firm boundary that she won't stay with me if I need to explore this more.
You know, all this in isolation, without all the context of how you got there, would already be reason to rip the band-aid off, so to speak. None of this sounds sustainable.
>Am I being retarded?
Not at all, I threw out my chances at a normie life over 15 years ago and I have yet to regret that, just by getting into academia. I would like to hear more about the controlling aspects of your gf though, if you are okay with that.
>>43924212
>Managed to suppress sh urges by playing guitar instead.
Awesome, Anon! These things are so damn important.
>>43929323
>Is anyone else trying to cope with being alone?
>Both in a romantic and platonic sense?
You're quire isolated, I take it? Mind telling me a bit more about your circumstances? I had some time where all I had was online contacts, and even if it was just for a year it was rough. Do you live in an area where it's hard to find people you might vibe with?
>>43934884
>swe education but the work/coworkers/open office made me so miserable that ive resolved never to go back
>multiple different diagnoses n sectioned four times but disability is not an option
Is it okay to ask what specific diagnoses you had? This might be important for context. Also, what part of the work/social env made you miserable? So we know what to avoid.
>therapy does nothing, medication does nothing
>mostly bedridden in my free time
Hm, from sickness or depression? And it is clear that your current line of work makes you miserable, hell, if anything it might be worth to consider pivoting your career trajectory.
>pic
no need to belittle yourself, Anon. Nobody here should make fun of you, and what you are talking about is on topic in this general.

>>43929385
>I don't think I would want to talk about how I tried to kill myself in the mean time
You don't have to, you can say you had a really bad time though and self isolated as a consequence of that. I think most people will take this as a cue along the lines of "I am not ready to talk about the details right now". Does that sound like a bad thing to tell them? It seems pretty much in line with the truth.
>or about how I just wasted years of my life now on doing nothing
You were in a depressive pit and are presently clawing your way out of it, it's not an easy thing but you are trying.
>not to mention me still being a miserable freak who can't do anything
We're working on that, denying yourself to step in front of people flawed and miserable is akin to denying oneself to go to the doctor unless healthy.
>the way I deal with scheduling is by getting anxious to the point of semi paralysis
Yes, a common ADHD issue sadly, it is not just you. I also need a quick reminder what the state of things was with seeking out medical help for it.
>I have opened the drowning house smth book twice but I still haven't gotten to reading it as
>I always have something else to do at that exact moment
Okay, next time you try, can you write down the other thing you wound up doing for me? Do you remember the last times? Just for the sake of trying to help you, I am not judging, promise.
>>43934949
>I think I am going to fully commit to emotionally dis-associating from my life.
>Unless there's a way to make money or get ahead, it no longer exists for me.
>I'm too worthless and dumb for [goals, relationships] to matter to me.
Could you elaborate these points? It sounds like you feel massively stuck in life with no momentum, but I don't quite understand the set of circumstances you are dealing with.
>>43939991
>Everybody is fucking awful.
Did something specific happen, Anon?

>>43938105
>I do not think life is inherently worth ti for me
>I tried transitioning even thinking it mattered to me but it seems nothign matters to me.
Hm, what you are describing sounds an awful lot like depression. As for example your transition, how did it go? I understand you expected to feel relief but felt nothing instead. What else is going on in your life, the surrounding circumstances? I know it doesn't answer your question directly but it matters.
>>43942699
>Trying to stop intellectualizing and reconnect with my feelings by looking at art throughout the day.
A lovely approach, absolutely!
>>43949176
Heya Navy!
>The only reason my brain can come up with as to why the FFS surgeon's office refuses to actually confirm they've booked the date for surgery is that they don't believe I am actually dysphoric
Can they actually do that? That sounds absurd. Honestly, if they don't respond to emails I would gradually escalate until I knock on their door.
And if TERF island fuckery is trying to actively sabotage you, do not lose hope just yet. I get why you feel the way you do, and given the sheer amount of malicious incompetence I have second hand witnessed on sig alone I believe you it is a goddamn mess, but I would hate to see you give up. If everything else fails it just means you have to do it abroad, which will require careful planning but fucking hell. You mentioned physical fitness and FFS as goals for you, but it sounds like there are other things you would like to change about yourself.
>>43950975
>Now, /sig/ how do I make use of this useless hour and make it into a better use of my time?
This sounds really interesting a work env to be honest! Well, if you want it to be productive I would honestly suggest something that is good for you mentally. You are forced to spend time away from home (distractions) so you could for example read a book or work on a skill you wish to improve. Is there such a thing you usually never make the time for in your life?

It pains me to see that I take about a week to respond now, on average.
>>43952066
>i gained 160 pounds over the past 5 years (140->300)
Sorry to hear Anon. If you need help to keep your weight loss sustainable, we are there for you. Ana stuff usually strains your body and mind needlessly as you surely know, and I know that you don't do it for fun but because it worked for you. So obviously I wanna help you create something that works for you sustainably.
>I think there is thought communication and im being experimented on and everyone is lying to me, would be sad if it was me just actually going insane
I do not know if there is much solace in this fact but you're far from the only person with schizophrenia experiencing these exact things. As much as it sucks it's in the nature of it.
>first time posting here, used to lurk a decade+ ago in middle school.
Awh, first of all, welcome, Anon! Sorry it took me so long to respond, I genuinely hope you see this.
>>43959906
>had an unusually productive day today
Glad to hear, Anon!
>>43960355
>i'm such a fucking coward.
What's on your mind?
>>43961254
Nice to hear about the dinner, though what's got you paranoid?
>>43973272
>I want to gain a bit of weight but it's HAAARD
Need help, Anon?

>>43962274
Sounds like things are going well overall, glad to hear!
>>43974483
Welcome back, catscratch! Happy belated birthday. I always flinch a little on the subject of smoking, but I don't wanna preach.
I think what you said about repping pretty much encapsulates why I try to help each and every repper coming here find an alternative to repping.
>This board has been there for me at my lowest. I've only been on /sig/ a handful of times, but reading everyone's struggles made me feel seen.
I am glad to hear, it is why I made this general to begin with, after all.
> A friend drew a portrait of me recently
Awh, such a sweet thing to do! Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you plan on moving on from here, so.. just in case we don't speak again, just know I wish you well.
>>43975114
>i know this is reach if any of u are university students struggling do any of u wanna be study buddies/accountability buddies
Wish I could chip in there but I've graduated a decade ago now and terribly offline as of late.
>>43981802
>I'm pretty sure I am too far behind in the rat race to survive it.
In what way, Anon?
>>43984464
I hope you're well on your way to recovery by now!

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Now for the new replies..
>>43984690
>I need to stop being a weird retard and just get my act together.
Hm, what needs doing for that to happen?
>>43985125
>i want to lose weight but i'm really struggling with food noise/obsession...does anyone have advice?
Hm, could you expand upon the food noise thing a little? Just to make sure I follow.
>>43987036
>i respond to music the most, but not in a very emotional way imo
Oh? In what way would you describe it? Perhaps intellectually? Something else entirely?
>i can't find anything that stands out to me, and these days i just put a youtube video in the background and barely listen to it
Do you remember something from the past, perhaps? If not we will really have to move on to trial and error. I think a good start on that front would be to feel out creative pursuits to get you going. Have you ever messed with writing, drawing/painting, any crafts (knitting, sewing..), or cooking?
>>43992397
Glad to hear the smartwatch approach works out for you!
>pic
I know you were intoxicated but I think you know why people wouldn't appreciate that.
>>43993715
>It's been rough on everyone, the family is really reaching a breaking point.
I can very much imagine. Did your sibling recover by now?

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>>43991607
>>43991669
>I can't even vocalize it well.
I fully understand the position you are in there, the only thing I can tell you is that it is extremely likely that this pull you feel towards it can actually be satisfied with something entirely different. Most of the time these things happen it is more a matter of fixing something unrelated, because I can pretty much assure you the craving will not go away even if you were to reach your goal. I know this isn't helping on a level this abstract but I need to preempt with an explanation to be able to help at all. Let's try and break it down into means and ends, it will require some soul searching on your end. The goal here is to critically dissect this urge and ask to what end you wish to, for example, reach that weight. Try dissect how you feel about yourself, what makes you unhappy and why. I can try walk you through this in greater detail if need be.
>Todestrieb
Oh, schon lange nicht mehr gehört den Ausdruck!
>No, but I assume a one-pot meal would serve enough complexity.
>Though I hate meal prep so much
>Washing cutting vegetables would probably take 4x the time of cooking.
>Meats are even worse
>I fear for the clean up.
Okay, taking all of that into consideration one of the first things that come to mind is pasta recipes. Do you have a chef's knife? Personally I find ones with a large blade particularly beginner friendly. You would hold it with your thumb and index finger pinching the blade itself while wrapping the remaining three fingers around the handle, as can be seen in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chef%27s_knife#Technique. The first recipe I have in mind would only require whole milk, bouillon cubes/powder of your choice, short pasta (penne for example), milk, meltable cheeses of your choice (for example gouda, gruyere, any blue cheese, parmesan, any swiss..), salt, pepper, butter or oil, a measuring cup (or scale), a cooking spoon, a pot and perhaps a grater. (1/4)

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>>43991607
>>43991669
(2/4)
The recipe would be pretty straightforward, although I would have to measure things rather than doing stuff by eye to give exact instructions. Off the top of my head though..
A scale is not needed but helpful, none of these need to be exact, but a pack of penne is usually 500g, and butter usually has 25g markings for slices iirc.
Grate the cheese. The recipe hardly cares how much cheese you put in but if it is enough to fill a cupped hand that is a good ballpark. Some cheeses (blue cheese, some cheese products) don't need grating and melt even as chunks.
>Penne in creamy cheese sauce.
In a pot, melt 15-25g of butter at medium heat (3-4 on a stove that goes from 1 to 6).
Add 250g penne, coat in the fat. Take 500mL of water and pour in as much as it takes to have the penne sit in liquid without being covered, and put in as much of the powder/cube as the package suggests for 500mL.
The liquid should simmer but not boil like crazy and make a mess, so adjust the heat a little as needed. Stir to ensure nothing sticks to the bottom of the pot, a few stirs every few minutes is fine, you can be overly careful the first time. The pasta will absorb the water, so keep topping up with more water until your 500mL are exhausted. You can top up with more water OR milk from this point, but I recommend some milk at least for more creaminess. After 10 minutes it is worth checking if the pasta is done. If it isn't, keep going adding small amounts of liquid each time, basically such that the pasta sits in a slightly too thin sauce, but isn't swimming. The stirring ensures everything cooks evenly. Once done, add grated cheese and stir until it melted completely. Season with more stock, salt and pepper to your liking and serve hot.

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>>43991607
>>43991669
(3/4)
What needs cleaning: pot, grater, measuring cup, cooking spoon, dishes you ate off.
It can be upgraded to nicer dishes, the original recipe actually using homemade stock, parmesan and saffron (no milk). The milk just makes it more versatile and mellows out the instant stock. It is a very "student survival meal" that can be adjusted to fit higher standards of quality or dietary preferences. "Milk in a pot with things" can get you anything from pasta dishes to soups to even gratins, though require either cutting veggies, other tools or both. A stick blender can save you a lot of work as turning veggies into a sauce or soup with it means you don't have to cut things very finely.
>I find it impossible to do cooking without a big spice rack.
I get what you mean, I personally like recipes where I only need very few spices, which is one of the reasons I make a lot of Italian/Mediterranean dishes at home I think, where the focus often is on having a small number of ingredients shine.
>Learning to cut different ingredients has to be taught too.
Very true, Youtube can be a surprisingly good resource for that! I think I did that in particular for onions and bell peppers, for example.
>Venting about how my life sucks
Hm, I see! It might be worth, as stupid as it may feel, to catalog your emotions a bit in there, and perhaps the things you would like to achieve. Still, of course venting is important in all this.
>Could you elaborate on this, I have no idea.
Sure, a template would work to get you started, depending on what time of day you write. Think of cataloging things you do in the day, as well as trying to recall at least one thing from your day. Such as "today I brushed my teeth. I cooked a meal. I saw a bird outside. I felt angry because I had to talk to my parents." So basically things you did, things you felt, things you perceived, all make good templating fodder. It will be REALLY hard in the beginning but get easier.

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>>43991607
>>43991669
(4/4)
>I am open to suggestions but just expect that I might/not do it.
Of course, there is no burden of expectation here. I can't make you reply to me, or follow advice, Anon! And I don't have all the answers to begin with. I am just trying to help, and you're trying to let yourself be helped, which is appreciated enough. I need to ask
>I want to just prove a point really by losing that much weight.
What is the point you are trying to prove, it ties into what I said earlier about means and ends. To what end do you wanna lose that much?
>Good examples are like learning a language or playing a musical instrument, a piano for example.
Hm, both of these things greatly benefit from making time in the day/week for it. Sticking to it is another matter of course and I know that neurodivergence/ADHD fucks with normal (SMART-type) approaches for these matters but I think it would still be great to set one day in the week at least for you to dedicate 1-2 hours on either subject for now. Which days doesn't matter, only that you have something concrete to do in them and have reminders for yourself, ideally automated. Are there any days where you are (kept) busy, or any preference for days? Ever heard of Anki?
>So does keeping ingredients, I feel like I have to keep that in check too.
When I am at my lowest I usually stick to shelf stable ingredients with fresh additions I can buy spontaneously.
>You must be old here.
Let's just say I am mid-30s and have found 4chan at the age of 16-17.
>Bros, I am just tired of nothing ever happening for me and things actively backsliding.
>I just want one thing in life, that is that for my efforts are actively rewarded.
It is immensely tiring, which is exactly why I am so sympathetic of your circumstances. Nobody deserves to be in a pit like this and I hope I can help you out even a little to break free.

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>>43997707
>Yeah I'm thinking I'm back
Oh? Welcome back, Anon!
>>43997747
>I've been going without weed a lot more often lately,
>nicotine is next (for like the 3rd time lawl)
These things are tough, Anon. I am rooting for you, and am glad you are making progress.
>>44000647
>Are there any really thorough guides about self care like hair and skin that start from super basics?
I am not aware of one but we can start with a kinda initial overview of your situation.
A good starting routine would be brushing your teeth twice (initially maybe once) a day,
bathing or showering once a week on a set day,
and making a list of personal grievances you have with your appearance.
Forming a schedule for hair, skin and nail care would be next.
>>44001761
>I hate being this fucked up.
What's up Anon?

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>>44003060
Heya, Panty!
>I started taking a Vitamin D supplement
Hell, even I do that these days, it seems to help but my primary struggles lie elsewhere at the moment I think. Made wraps again too, recently. One thing I am kinda fond of which one of my roomies taught me when I was a student was to add crushed tortilla chips into them for crunch. As for reading, I have picked up The Stranger by Albert Camus based on the rec of a loved one. Glad you got a replacement part for your blender, this kinda stuff has become increasingly hard.
>I’m still getting used to drawing on a PC with a tablet instead of on an iPad, but it’s happening.
Oh, naisu!
>>44003529
Well, how often do you cum a day, on average?
>>44011936
Which show? Digital circus?
>>44005943
>>44014796
>I wish I could have prevented it.
We all do at times like this, ESPECIALLY the ones that went through it, in their own way. We can just take solace in having more strength combined than isolated.
>This wasn't the first attempt made by them
>The past attempts have led to some form of neurological damage
That is deeply upsetting, of course. It might be worth to sit them down and talk to them about it if they are ready.
>How do you mean?
As difficult as it is you are constantly keeping us up to date about things you are trying to make a living, find opportunities, etc. Many things lead nowhere, but that is a lot of the time out of our hands, it still counts, and it is still necessary to get anywhere eventually. You aren't wasting your time.

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>>44014709
>>44015659
>so I either got very tired and sleep right away normally in the morning, or try to sleep at a good hour at night
Ah, so you are generally stuck with a night shift essentially?
>the bad thought of being gay seeps into my head, partly because of social media
Hm, what exactly does that entail for you? Would you prefer to be straight, are closeted, something else?
>>44016211
>I am quitting Reddit, yeah should've never used it in the first place and I didn't for a long time but then out of boredom I got sucked into that toxic cesspit.
Things can wind up this way, I am just happy for you you are pulling the plug on it.
>>44020688
>>44032920
>got a doctor's appointment tomorrow, going to bring up my suspected OCD.
>update: not very fruitful
That sucks to hear, was the doctor just overall unhelpful?

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That's it for now, time to go shopping in Hades.
>>44024414
>Yes!!!
Okay, perfect! So you you wanna gain weight, do you generally measure your intake? What is the hardest part for you? Volume? Remembering to eat?
>>44024667
>I graduated 2 months ago and I am still unemployed.
It is perfectly normal for the job hunt to take a few months in the current job market, unfortunately. So you are not failing, this is very important to keep in mind, yes, the structure education provides is a lifeline and right now you are on an express train to depression if you don't build yourself a daily routine.
>I want to do something but I get overwhelmed
Well, we should plan out a schedule for you in that case, something that for now is mostly self care with at most a small percentage of job search to not fry you. Would that sound good? What you lack right now is mental energy to do things. Which means you will try to "weasel yourself out of doing things" all the time. The first couple weeks will mostly be you catching yourself early doing it, putting reminders and notes where you will find them in time and journaling your inner monologue to catch and correct bad habits.
>>44025713
>I wonder if I can go to Sweden or something.
If you are within the EU that should be easy enough, vacation or?
>>44026175
>i wish
tell us your wish!

>>44044608
>Awesome, Anon! These things are so damn important.
I failed today... a bit.
Punched my guitar once, because I got frustrated after being angry over being poor and everything being shit, especially work.
At least I didn't punch my head...

pg7 pawmp

>>44044642
>Oh? In what way would you describe it? Perhaps intellectually? Something else entirely?
no idea, some sounds just feel good to me like feeling a nice texture or smelling something good
>Do you remember something from the past, perhaps?
playing videogames maybe, but that was a long long time ago
>Have you ever messed with writing, drawing/painting, any crafts (knitting, sewing..), or cooking?
i've tried to make music on my computer in the past, i was so bad i had to give up on it because it was too much frustration
i cook sometimes but it's very rare

p8

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oh yeah i love niggers

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>>44044680
> One thing I am kinda fond of which one of my roomies taught me when I was a student was to add crushed tortilla chips into them for crunch
That’s not a bad idea, I’m going to try that myself. Hell, any bag of tortilla chips has a ton of crumbs on the bottom, I can use them for that.

>As for reading, I have picked up The Stranger by Albert Camus based on the rec of a loved one
One of the last nonfiction books I was reading, “The Free World: Art Throughout the Cold War” by Louis Menand had a chapter about French literature including Camus. I want to read some Dashiel Hammett and I should probably read The Stranger after, since I think I recall American noir influenced Camus. I would also recommend reading up on France’s colonization of Algeria after, because I’m pretty sure that‘s relevant to The Stranger as well.

I needed to switch over to desktop because tablet art programs have fewer feature, but getting used to all the extra features is the learning curve, essentially.

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>>44044651
>>43991607
>>43991669
IMPORTANT ERRATA: I cooked it today and need to adjust some quantities. Start off with 250mL water, not 500. It is easy to add more later but 500 is a bit much if you wanna add milk too.
Also adjust the boullion cube to that new amount of water.
Finally, once the water is added, CRANK THE STOVE ALL THE WAY UP until the water boils.

Pardon the fuck-ups. This is at least 2 servings by the way, but can be more.

>>44044699
>do you generally measure your intake?
Vaguely, like within the hundreds digit of calories
>What is the hardest part for you? Volume? Remembering to eat?
On some days I just don't have any appetite until the evening and trying to eat before that makes me feel nauseated

>>44047816
>I should probably read The Stranger after
That one's on my list too

goodnight bump

I failed the thread again
I HAVE ABANDONED MY CHILD

>>44044647
>I need to preempt with an explanation to be able to help at all. Let's try and break it down into means and ends,
Let's try:
I don't want to gain weight because it puts weight into my stomach, I am subject to feederism unless I can demonstrate cooking well. I had this obsession of minmaxxing fat redistribution by severely starving myself then bulking heavily on pioglitazone, I want to erase every muscle.
>Todestrieb
it's just Freud...
>Penne in creamy cheese sauce.
I might try the recipe, however.
>I find it impossible to do cooking without a big spice rack.
I come from a shithole where big spice rack is the common. In fact spices is the Raison d'etre of the history of this shithole which gets exploited by colonizers.
>catalog your emotions
>templating
is this the same thing?
>
>I want to just prove a point really by losing that much weight.
>What is the point you are trying to prove
that I have control? I want to erase most muscle and I got fed on the fragile look pill etc etc
plus I am fed up being told that I have to be muscular. I hate it.

everytime i post here i feel like i'm larping and being performative. it probably says something about me but i'm too dumb to give it a thought. i've just been bumping the thread lately. life updates: summer classes end soon, so looking forward to a free second half of summer. i have come up with a decent calisthenics based routine. time to push for the final stretch of cutting down weight!
as always ly all /sig/mas <3 sending virtual hugs ⊂((・▽・))⊃

life is hard and i am soft (penis and emotionally)

Good night

i feel like I'm starving but by the numbers i ate a lot today and am definitely NOT starving.

p9

>>44044674
>brushing your teeth twice (initially maybe once) a day,
>bathing or showering once a week on a set day

I'm showering and brushing my teeth every day, I just wanted it to start from basics to make sure I wasn't missing anything simple.
In the shower I do body wash, exfoliant+scrub, lotions, then face wash. Then tend skin after I've dried off.
For hair I rinse with cold water and use shampoo and conditioner every 3 days.

>preparing stuff for a weeklong trip, 30C+ with 70% humidity indoors so my brain has been cooking for a week whenever I'm at home
>have to dig around the absolute state of my room
>can't even fully open my wardrobe door
>huge pile of laundry
>can't do too much laundry due to weather
>get sidetracked throwing out trash for a bit
>laundry done, then a short break
>look around my room and start feeling absolutely terrible over how much there's still to do
Not a full-on panic attack yet, but I still feel like shit and crying despite getting at least something done.
Why does EVERYTHING have to be so damn hard and make me feel like utter shit...
Can't even hug my plushies because it's too hot and humid

pg9 pawmp

*paws at you* don't die
*paws at you* don't die
*paws at you* don't die
*paws at you* don't die

>>44054090
Panic attack still looming, maybe coming back. Still feeling like I'm about to turn into a sobbing mess.
Not able to play guitar today, but now I have half-assedly polished nails.
Still hot as fuck so sleep is gonna be shit and gotta get up very early tomorrow.
I wish I wouldn't feel horrible like this so often ;_;
Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I did wrong to deserve the suffering I'm enduring.

bump

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>>44058693
Page 8 again

Good night I will get back to reading

pawmp :3

What's on the docket today

I hope you all are doing okay.

I wish I could post more but I am at a bit of an impasse at the moment.

I'm pretty sure my life is falling apart and it is all my fault but I am going to avoid taking it personally and just focus on making money and staying out of trouble as much as I can.
Just gotta move forward.

I'll be 26 soon and I have nothing to show for myself.

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New therapist gave me a few pointers and I've noticed that I tend to blow things out of proportion sometimes. I've started to use the stereotypical "British understatement" in my head more often. It's working. It does, however, feel a bit silly, if I may say so.

well its road trip pooner again to report i do feel less suicidal nowadays. though it is just as punishingly lonely when my bf talks to his virtual friends who rejected me and dont wants them to know probably because it is gay and age difference so i cant talk to thme anyway, yes i am here back to report because lonely and drunk, it doesnt get better i just get better at putting it out of mind.always so busy.
i had a breakthough a month ago , its weird how things in life connect like that many years ago as a preteen picking fruit of neighborhood trees, blesed by the bounty of californias climate, it led to an interest in dumpster diving and although i tried it once yearsbefore at a university i have tried it again. ppicking up a book on the art and getting enthused not to his great delilght. firstly we ofund lobster a college student threw away and then a week later a safeway dumpster full of produce from which i found over 20 colored bell peppers with the only problem of being slightly wrinkly, etc, convincing and now he is more enthusiasthic than i, and then followed other great scores like 16 lbs of organic stawberries not counting other berries, half of which was salvagable, stuffed the car so full it was a hassle to see. 50 loaves of bread just expired. eggs thrown out a month early because someone misread the expiry date. mushrooms still cold and fresh. an orange in a bag goes moldy the whole thing is tossed, similar for egg in a dozen. mind boggling also yes free food so much free groceries, more than we can eat. now we spend food money mostly on cheese chocolate coffee cookies ice cream and milk, and the good luxurious stuff, feels rich man. a real confidence booster, a way to provide while sayinf fuck you to the system, maybe a way to make money when we get settled.

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i push for him to go home instead of go south because its fucking roasting here. and then maybe we can find some more dumpster fun, while having storage space. it is like a loot box and i have gambler genetics from both sides.
in texas now the worst place so far the people are loud and rude , in two days i have fonud 50 nnovel species of bug to me, so many bugs,terrible climate and mosquitoes which itch me awake (allergy), there is litter everywhere
There was a 2nd part to this i think, couldnt post it and lost it.about a month ago hostile 4chan cant post anything mobilee data/starlink/libraryw ifi

heres a picture from black canyon of the gunnison NP, CO

and ill write up another one sad tranny shit happened today

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So the past month its been travelling through TX and LA and had to spend too much time hanging around there,waiting for a package, to replace the shitty solar panel cable design which snapped, but probably will hardly see use anyway. What a hellhole TX was but even more fucked was the climate of LA where you just sweat. I already had a taste of humid heat, and gators, before (separately), did not care for it again much, although the curiousity of the cuisine, and their wonderful gulf shrimp did....

Pretty boring in that place where we had to linger, we spent most of it indoors or in car. RUnning the air con all day. All night. Too hot to go outside while the sun is up. Too many mosquitoes to go outside while the sun is down. Eating benardyl like candy because the allergy is bad yet the bloodsuckers love me, me specifically. I'm extra tasty. I've got thirty bites on me right now. The mosquitoes always prefer me, so he doesn't feel any empathy when I'm hitting my legs at 2am woken by the pain. I've just been in constant pain for the past month. The no-see-ums aren't so discriminatory.

So hot and humid, the worst I ever felt. The dumpster diving's going well. We haven't bought produce since. We tried some things which were previously not on our radar, favorably, like zuchinni. In this climate the dumpsters fill up with flies and maggots to an unbelievably gross degree. My cotton pants grew mold. Then I bled on the other one. Then we went to the laundromat and it didnt get the bloodstains out and he cooked the mold pants and that kind doubled or tripled in price because plastic-free clothing is a niche allowing price gouging. And half the laundromats we go to don't actually do anything. They don't use water.

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Everywhere I turn there's a scam waiting for me. I found out 5G is BAD for the consumer. It just offers worse performance. Carriers know this and turn off the ability to disable it. We ate out at a decently regarded place. Well the gumbo was also a SCAM with barely any seafood and it tastes like chemicals. I'm talking to gemini a lot now, as an interactive search engine. Yeah, the laundromat just scams you bro. Yeah, commercial kitchens all use shortcuts. There's gums everywhere. I can't eat out because I guess my supertaster tongue detects that funny stuff they use for flavor, or my gut rejects the gums they use cut corners or costs. What hell. There's more scams-- Got some rotten shrimp lately. But maybe I could have avoided that. You can't avoid a systematic issue where laundromats just use near zero water and commercial kitchens don't give you real food.

I wore the new pair of pants I found for him at a thrift. A nice pair, it's everything I ever wanted aside from not my size. Cargo pockets, elastic waistband, zip offs, full range of motion due to gusset, pen pockets, zippered pockets, 2 ply supplex nylon super quick dry... I wear as shorts and fall in love. It's uniform pants saying FOREST SERVICE cut for bike patrol officers. So it trunciates at my ankle, important for a sandal wearer. And it got room for the feminine thighs and ass. And I can squat to pick up those chanterelles because there's mushrooms everywhere in the humidity of LA. If it's possible to get it my size, it's perfect. Wow, another rabbithole. They just don't make clothes good for the consumer, just the industry, cause only business can sue. So now I got a thinkphone, thinkpad, and tactical pants. Go enterprise. Everything is a scam, there's so much more I've discovered, like chairs. And apparently thrift stores throw out clothes my size, despite me not being close to any statistical anomaly. And I've got hardly anyone to talk to about it.

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I already knew there was scams everywhere by reading my food labels but by golly it's actually fucking everywhere and requires too much time or brainpower or intellect to understand. I have an engineer's brain. I'm used to it and I'm glad the internet offers me choice. If one's got the money, too.

THe area makes me miss the climate of home. Less buggy, Never humid. Good fruit. It's peach season. Good peaches don't come in stores. I introduced my friend to many new or fresher fruits when he stayed over in California. Tasting the difference, he said there's only fake fruit where he's from (although the problem might be shopping at walmart). He thinks peaches aren't good. If I only ever had store peaches I'd think that too. The people in california are more varied, more varied ethnicity and foods that they bring and also intelligence. It's like everyone south is stupid. And I can see the heat has probably throttled their brains bad over generations. The reason doesn't matter much does it? But there's more variation where I was from.

The novelty's still nice, some cool bugs i wouldnt have seen had we been there in winter, first time trying chanterelles and doing a crawfish boil etc. I wanted to go to the 51st state, Canada, instead of south. Probably will sometime....

And then a cop woke us up today probably thought I was being trafficked >>44067717

Wow what a headache that life is and now Ive got to install Lineage on my new autismphone Which i got to use Verizon (T mobile has the worst coverage) but actually lineage doesn't support verizon 5g oops.

thanks for reading my lonely blogpost sorry

It feels i'll never be rid of the lonely. All i do is repress it until I am overcome with urges to drink until oblivion. its been a year now

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and I havent got that catharsis in quite awhile and i'm also mad over the clothes industry as my previous boy scout switchbacks blew out (two different pairs) because "stuff is built for consumers to look gay rather than consumers to squat" - the slop generator. and it was impossible to find these pants that are actually usable gear pants because there is no fanbase for some mysterious reason, not enough of those kind who are intelligent and curious enough to be captivated by such design and quality of the uniform assigned. That or being unwilling to spoonfeed anyone what the perfect pooner pants are

It's too damned hot but I worked out anyways

Fuck summerrrr

>>44069999
why is my name not summer :(

bump :3

Good night
>>44061766
I need to figure out what to read next...

final for summer class tomorrow expecting to be more free after that. hopefully i get the part time i interviewed for, i don't think i'm getting it desu. but hey it is what it is we keep trying.

Do you guys ever plan on going back to college at some point?

To study something new I guess, if you had the money.

>>44073131
i can't imagine university is fun in the chatgpt age

>>44073131
some years ago I really thought about going back for a masters' but I don't think I'd do that now for the reasons >>44073172 mentions

>>44073131
I tried a couple of times, but it seems a little pointless tbqh. And my ADHD's made it harder too

okay i love you buhbye

>>44073131
i finally decided to do it online after a decade of waxing and waning and its really boring and pointless. ofc chatgpt ruins it all but even without it. i dont feel like im doing anything really. just completing assignments because i have to which i dont learn much from. feels like a waste of time.

>>44073131
no

>>44073131
too old and too far behind on life, so no time for college
used to be in a too precarious financial and legal situation to be able to get masters, and the BSc was incompetent af anyway, so yeah

>>44044599
This week I have to decide:
>Go back to Australia, at my grandfather's expense and pray I can do better in that small town

Or

>Stay in my 3rd world nightmare of a country and work via online means only until I build myself up and leave for some place better

I genuinely don't know what to do, either option is turning my stomach.

I am terrified of being alone and abandoned.
I feel really alone.

I know that nobody has a magic solution for me but GOD I wish they did.

Goodnight for now.

>>44071772
tanks

pg9 bump :3

I've been taken showers every 2-3 days (instead of every week)
Today I mopped the floor for the first time in... I don't know how long, but easily over 6 months
Depression is a bitch, but I am trying... I am trying...

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Hi /sig/! So I ended up reading 12 graphic novels for the month of June. Less than my goal, but more than I read last month. What’s weird is that I read for fewer consecutive days in June than April or May despite reading more overall. (I know this because I’ve been writing down what I read every day I read a book). I think this is because I made an effort to finish an entire book each time I sat down to read. Either way, I’m happy with my progress and I’m just going to try to read more than 12 books next month.

>>44073131
I’m already in the habit of learning recreationally, so I think I would only go to college if I needed some kind of degree for a job. I’m not ruling that out, but it’s not the plan for me right now.

>>44044599
i don't have it in me to fully exert myself in exercise and i don't know why
i'm taking iron supplements and vitamin d and i walk everywhere and i do work out until i get a nice burn going but i KNOW that i'm leaving so much performance on the table because i just can't seem to actually access it
fuckin' sucks
t. works out at home alone

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>too tall and fat to twinkmaxx
>not hairy or muscular enough to bearmaxx
>likely wouldn’t be able to achieve either one naturally
Fug

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>>44044614
>Does that sound like a bad thing to tell them?
saying that I spend all that time just sitting in my room isnt something that I would want to talk about either even if that would make me a jerk again but at that point why would they even want to meet with me again? and trying to meet with them again just for the whole meeting to be me being a jerk and them seeing that not seeing me again may be a good decision would be another thing pushing me to end it all
still no meds idk maybe Ill try beggin for money for it or smth idk
and finally I havent been doing much to improve my life as I can barely function enough to cook, take care of the dog and sometimes take shower partially thanks to the heat

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here have this <3

big pawmp

Good night
>>44072558
I think I will read the Lord of the Rings next

I'm starting a new job after 8 years of doing nothing. I've had debilitating anxiety and depression for most of my life, and I usually quit or run away from things. It doesn't help that it's a call centre customer service job in which I can expect a fair bit of harassment from people. I don't feel ready for the job, but I also don't want to disappoint my mother and run away again. The antidepressants I'm on have improved my mental health, but that improvement is really only from a 2/10 to a 4/10. I'm somewhat functional but far away from really feeling human and enjoying life.

I've been looking into mushrooms to improve my mental health and tried my second trip. I tried a 2g dose this morning but only ended up feeling sick and like I might faint or vomit. I'm currently on antidepressants and a glp1 inhibitor, which I know don't play well with mushrooms. I thought at worst the trip would be weaker, but maybe the antidepressants/glp1 made the trip unpleasant. I'll have to stop my medications to fully give the mushrooms a shot, which means I'll probably be feeling worse for a while, and the mushrooms may not even work. I don't know what to do and feel like I'm fighting for my life to end up only feeling worse.

Sorry for the wall of text. I hope things will get better for myself and everyone else here.

>>44077690
come to australia and live off the dole

>>44083215
What is the dole exactly?

>>44083543
unemployment benefits, i bet most queers in australia are dole bludgers

>>44083550
I don't wanna be a burden on anyone, especially financially but I'll consider it.

My main considerations are:
>I'm not a citizen, I am a permanent resident, a foreigner
>I will have to live with father, he's unlikely to help me with that sort of thing

Good morning

If anybody here believes in God, please pray for me.

p8

p8

the guy above is gay and one tranny below is sucked a dick this week

>>44088393
I'm more of a bisexual to be honest

this feels like a catch 22 situation
frankly i feel a little targeted

I'll be posting some more context tomorrow for now.
I gotta get some sleep, because this week is gonna be rough for me no matter what.
Gotta try to keep a cool head.

In any case, good luck to you all.

>>44083160
I am glad you are out there trying your very best.

see you tomorrow you weeaboo shits
stay strong

>>44088651
It seems like many of your weeks are rather rough, bunon.

pg8 meow

goodnight /sig/

>>44092021
mornin

>>44090839
p7
kitty

page 3, 4, knock on the door

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the more I recover from my mental illnesses the more I realize I'm not really attracted to any gender sexually OR romantically what the fuck is my problem. I want a long term boyfriend and think I would be happy if I could do it but I just don't feel romantically about people especially not long term I don't get why, how do I fix it?? its not that I hate the idea of being "aroace" but that I want a monogamous relationship so I hate not feeling configured right for it and maybe it's something I can fix like I have my other symptoms

>>44088948
Hey thanks, that makes me feel a little less alone in all this. Hope the best for you too

>>44093168
You are very welcome.

anxiety gives me crazy nausea

pg8 pawmp

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>>44092994
Being aroace doesn’t mean you couldn’t be in a monogamous relationship. Just look for a boyfriend who’s also aroace if that’s how you want it.

Don’t think you need to put out to be normal, or that you need to be normal to be happy. Making yourself do something you don’t want to do isn’t going to make you happy.

Also, unless you’re ready to start looking for a boyfriend, you don’t need to worry now about what you’ll want when you are ready to date.

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June came and went, huh..
>>44033312
Very good that you manage to keep a fair amount of bad habits in check!
>Addictions/bad habits I still struggle with:
>>nicotine pouches
>>impulse buying
>>trolling and being mean to anon online
>>laziness, social withdrawal, parasitism
Hmm, do you feel stuck in these regards or do you feel like you are making enough progress on your own for now?
>>anamaxxxing since that's becoming possible for me for the first time now
I am not super familiar with helping people escape the pull at the stage you are in but I do know how to make diet plans that keep you in a band of caloric intake without sacrificing progress. Do you have a concrete goal in mind?
>>44034906
>i can't even starve myself right
Could you elaborate on that, Anon? What's your circumstances like? What are you trying to achieve?
>>44037030
Welcome back, Anon! Wishing you all the best with your driver's license.
>First things first I am no longer hitting my dogs and I don’t have a grudge against them anymore.
That's good progress!
>my german shepherd is resource guarding me and picks fights with my other dog because of his resource guarding.
The good news is that with dog training of that sort there usually is a decent pool of knowledge to tap into, the only issue is finding out where/who to ask. Assuming your family doesn't wanna shell out for a trainer I would suggest doing some online research on tried and true methods.
>Also someone came by and claimed that he bit their son
Hm, worrying. Do you think it is some neighbor trying to stir shit, or something of that sort? Assuming they are making shit up at least.

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>>44045331
>I failed today... a bit.
I think you deserve plenty of grace on that front. Progress isn't perfectly linear, and you are definitely trying your best to stay away from it. And yes, it is much preferable to punching your head.
>I got frustrated after being angry over being poor and everything being shit, especially work.
It sucks when existential matters like funds get in the way of us living the life we want to. What exactly is shit specifically, would you like to vent perhaps?
>>44047816
>That’s not a bad idea, I’m going to try that myself.
Definitely report back!
>I would also recommend reading up on France’s colonization of Algeria after, because I’m pretty sure that‘s relevant to The Stranger as well.
French colonialism is definitely a theme in it for plot related reasons, absolutely.
>>44048830
>Vaguely, like within the hundreds digit of calories
That is accurate enough, I never measured my own intake beyond +-100-200kcal and lost 40kg in total anyway, in my case. Gaining is much the same.
>trying to eat before that makes me feel nauseated
The usual tricks there are snacking (peanuts and the like) and drinking calories, what are your experiences with that? Try it if you haven't!
>>44049675
It's good, but my God, some of it hits close to home for me.
>>44051243
I greatly appreciate your efforts, Anon. You're one of the ones that keep the thread bumped, right? I know your pain.

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Goodnight.
>>44046427
>no idea, some sounds just feel good to me like feeling a nice texture or smelling something good
I would file this under emotional, I think. I get it though! Are there any places of interest near you that play music that might cater to your tastes? It would be worth looking into.
>playing videogames maybe, but that was a long long time ago
Hm, alright! Then we better start from scratch.
>i've tried to make music on my computer in the past, i was so bad i had to give up on it because it was too much frustration
I get it, the creative process is generally frustrating, especially if you are on your own with it.
>i cook sometimes but it's very rare
It is worth trying to mess with it a little, it's a good start with an immediate reward (a nice meal). Okay, taking everything into consideration, best you can do right now is cast a wiide net. I would like you to dedicate some time to learning, once a week at least, maybe once every few days. It should not burn you out, but it will occasionally feel tedious. It should exhaust you no more than occasional light exercise would. Your goal is to look into a broad range of subjects. Try cooking a beginner friendly meal, if you tell me about your tastes I can give pointers. Pick up a book on any subject, any kind, ideally go in a library and browse. Take something that catches your attention more than the rest, even if just for a fraction of a second, and try to immerse yourself in it for a bit. Initially it will feel like nothing. Satisfaction comes from accumulation. I can try go into detail there if need be but you urgently need to expose yourself to a broad range of subjects, be it sciences, history, media, philosophy, anything. The reasoning here is that having only things you do passively (without mental engagement) is going to fuck with your mental, and we gotta probe your brain for things it responds well to. Unfortunately, depression dulls everything, so the effect will be subtle in the beginning.

having a chill weekend got high binge watching joeishungry. life is goood! internship is my only goal for the foreseeable future. exhausted but life is still good ^-^ going out for a walk to pick shawarma for dinner :3 how have your days been? :D
ly all /sig/mas <3 sending virtual hugs ⊂((・▽・))⊃

Tomorrow I'm probably going to come out to my sister
Within the month I should start therapy (not directly about my gender but still important)
By the end of the year I hope to lose 15kg

These are all "probably" and "should" and "hope" rather than "will" but even so, for me just this is great progress.
Things will get better for me.

>>44098657
thank you...

I love all of you.

Goodnight.

I need to make more than 16 an hour. How do I get a better fucking job?

It should have been who died
If only my death meant nobody else could suffer
Alas Im no Jesus

pg9 bump

>>44099236
Don't say that.

Good night

goodnight /sig/

>>44101727
nighty nighty

>>44096792
Panty is a so cute.

intrusive thoughts are cool because even if i do get on some medication that stops me having them i'll never forget all the ones i've had until now

>>44103181
thats a
good point

rewatching old youtube. how did people let corpse husband get away with making straight ass music?

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>>44096792
thank u pantyposter ill remember your wisdom. I think if I look back I've met more guys who had similar feelings both cis and trans than people stereotype men as honestly so ill be ok ur right
also I hope you're doing well. I remember you posted one day that certain improvements are like a grind you keep building up little by little and it grows into a big improvement overtime (something like that) and I read that at rock bottom n have a really different life now so you were right and it always stuck with me. I hope you're doing a lot better ever since too even though ik progress isn't linear

how do i work out and effortmaxx when i unironically have never gone to the gym or even deliberately exercised in my life. i'm like deathly thin and have no hips and its one of the worst insecurities when i look in the mirror. i don't know what exercises to do or how much to do them, going to the gym seems ridiculous and i feel i would get stared or laughed at by people who actually are supposed to be there

>>44106233
i started working out recently. i started eith calisthenics before getting into a proper gym. i think it's a good gateway into getting used to working out, plus the returns on initial time and effort investment are pretty decent. i'm on the other side of spectrum build-wise but here's a resource which really helped me: https://youtube.com/@hybridcalisthenics

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>>44105243
>I remember you posted one day that certain improvements are like a grind you keep building up little by little
>I read that at rock bottom n have a really different life now
I do remember writing that post. I’m really glad it helped you. I’m glad I could pay it forward since you may know I got my share of pep talks here too. I’m doing better now for sure, thanks for wishing me well.

I just bought a wok and I’m going to make fried rice with it soon. I also bought a larger wig cap so hopefully I can move forward on my wig wearing plans. Reading through my book hoard this spring and summer has felt great.

I also started doing a new upper body exercise routine, and if I poke my forearm I can feel the muscle in it.

Let’s say I’m still grinding too, but I’ve leveled up a couple of times.

My mother's meaning in my life converges towards zero.

>>44107272
Most people have three faces: One they show the world, on they show their family and one they show no one (except strangers on 4chan). Until a few weeks ago, I only had two.

i would just like to post here about some stuff. 5 years ago i was a loser, no job no education barely able to leave the house. stuck in some self loathing baby tranny mindset. now all of that is different, i got my degree and have a good job and i pass full time now. i just wanted to post here because back then i didn't think any of that was possible. today i am writing an application for a new job, it would be a really big pay rise and i think i can get it. things can change when you get into the mindset of slow but steady progress!

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How do I talk to my trans girlfriend about her looks?

Sorry if this is the wrong place, but I need help here

I've been with my trans (MTF) Girlfriend now for 6 years, she started taking HRT about a year into the relationship, got top surgery for larger breasts, she looked AMAZING, she was passing with flying colors

Buuuut...as the years went on and she got older, her looks started to fade, like...hard, really hard, and I realize the other day after looking at old photos of us together that she looks NOTHING like she did before

She just turned 30 this year, she's still on HRT, I just can't figure out what the fuck happened to her

She doesn't smoke/drink/do drugs

Her breasts are starting to wrinkle, like big time, especially in the cleavage area

Her teeth over time started looking like shark teeth, they're pointy all of a sudden

Her face started turning square, hard to explain this one, but it's like her entire head changed shape

Even her hair just constantly looks dirty/oily despite her spending so much time on it

Other people have noticed this as well, I posted a photo together of us on Facebook and people commented "That's not (Her name)" And "Who is that?"

How the fuck do I deal with this? What do I say?

>>44107680
have you considered that its normal for people to age and look different?
also, what do you mean speak to her about her looks? please place yourself in her shoes for a second. i get the impression you have not really done so and are only thinking 'i want my girlfriend to be hotter' instead of treating her like someone you love and care about

>>44044599
I love you all.

pg8 pawmp

Good night
I bought more books

I am so damn ugly and fat, im gonna starve myself

>>44111785
That doesn't help you lose weight.

>>44044599
There should be a support group for stupid people.

We need all the help we can get.

How do I explain that being lightly jabbed for my mistakes makes me so fucking mad that it renders me apoplectic

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After 3 months of self hatred and doing drugs at the start of this year i was at my lowest. I ended up losing more than 12 kilos in just 3 months. But in march i met someone who helped me realise how to feel good about myself again.i ended up stopping the drugs completely. I finally managed to get a decent job and now i am almost back on track with my physique. I was in a constant cycle of beating myself up over things i could change but i wasnt doing anything about it. Just do 1 thing at a time that helps you escape from that cycle anon. A little task done at a time goes a way longer way than no tasks done at all. Might be a retarded advice with how bleak it might sound but thats what helped me. As a bonus heres a recent photo in wich i actually liked myself for the first time in months.

I didn't do jackshit with my life.

>>44115221
Me neither.

>>44114615
>I was in a constant cycle of beating myself up over things i could change but i wasnt doing anything about it.
same
>Just do 1 thing at a time that helps you escape from that cycle anon. A little task done at a time goes a way longer way than no tasks done at all.
amen
>Might be a retarded advice with how bleak it might sound but thats what helped me.
thanks anon, hopefully it helps me too. my one thing for today is to go to bed before midnight
>As a bonus heres a recent photo in wich i actually liked myself for the first time in months.
miring fizeek, I'd be very happy if I reach that

>>44115991
I really appreciate you for reading trough it all.i am sure you can reach that physique and an even better one at that. Just be consistent and dont think about the stuff that you shouldve done yesterday or what you could do tomorrow. Do what must be done now and youd be closer and closer to where you would like to be. Good luck anon. You got this <3

I love twinks.

me too but now you have to kiss with the one bellow me

>>44044599
how do you lost weight as a shut-in

Only reason I'd go outside is if a job hired me
(only because I can't afford HRT)

>>44119272
lose** im so retarded </3

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You think I could eventually pull off this kind of look as a 6ft2 25 year old repper twink if I started hrt?

Good night

>>44119350
life's full of surprises

>>44119350
never make your body type goal an anime character or drawing but if you just mean the general vibe fuck it get stylish as hell

>>44119802
This.

>>44077690
Small update:
>I now have until roughly the end of this week, to decide to go back to Australia or not

That's something at least.

This weekend was good for me, I'm a little less panicked about the state of things, so I can make a better decision during this week.

>>43981589
>>43993715
>Heya, bun. Sorry for the radio silence
>I have been keeping up with your updates and will slowly respond to them, as always
Thank you, it's no problem.
I know how hard it is to keep track of things, especially with a lot going on.

>Jesus fucking Christ though, I am sorry you had to go through something like that
I appreciate it, I really really do.

It's been rough on everyone, the family is really reaching a breaking point.

>>44044680
>We all do at times like this, ESPECIALLY the ones that went through it, in their own way
>We can just take solace in having more strength combined than isolated
I will, I will take some peace in that.


>That is deeply upsetting, of course
>It might be worth to sit them down and talk to them about it if they are ready
I can try my best, but my sibling isn't very receptive to these kinds of conversations.

It doesn't help that trying to get other family members to help either leads to them making excuses, or them yelling.
Which doesn't help anything of anyone.

Extended family has been getting harder to deal with, everyone is angry and stressed a lot.
Spite and dysfunction is constant.

>As difficult as it is you are constantly keeping us up to date about things you are trying to make a living, find opportunities, etc. Many things lead nowhere,
>but that is a lot of the time out of our hands, it still counts, and it is still necessary to get anywhere eventually. You aren't wasting your time
Maybe not fully wasted, but I should have put more stock on work and career development.
It's my own fault, I did this to myself.

>>44064680
I have to move forward with my life, and stop trying to rely on family and friends to save me from possible poverty or my own mind.

Nobody seems to know how to help me, and when they do its clearly too much to do when it comes to time spent and effort.

Every day is drama and dysfunction but I need to let it wash over me, this is just what my and many families are like.

I have to let it go, no sense looking for a solution where it can't be found.
I wonder if I can go out and try to live with friends for a while.

>>44089624
Yes, sorry.
I have a habit of repeating myself and my points.

I need to let things go every now and then, especially if my points are very obvious.

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I'm not back yet, just figured the thread needed something more pleasant to look at for a bit.

>>44119350
nice boots

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RIP flags, see you next year. Alright, time to write up some replies.

>>44124620
Best of luck, and thank you for your commitment.

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>>44051507
>I might try the recipe, however.
Do tell me when you do!
>I don't want to gain weight because it puts weight into my stomach
Very understandable, on its own. I would like to hone in on the control aspect, because that is something where addiction-adjacent behaviors like EDs can *really* fuck you up. Because while it won't start as compulsive behavior and is easy to follow through in some ways it will become compulsive and harder to quit, slipping into the illusion of control rather than the real deal. Would it be alright if we for now focused on your culinary skills to get parental approval as quickly as possible, because I think this external pressure is also something pushing you in that direction, as you yourself very clearly express.
>I want to erase every muscle.
Remind me, do you have access to estrogen? As for the fragile look, I strongly assume you mean likely a full-on anorexic kinda aesthetic?
>plus I am fed up being told that I have to be muscular. I hate it.
There is a good chance you won't feel the urge to starve yourself once you lose a fair bit of muscle, judging from what you are telling me.
>spices is the Raison d'etre of the history of this shithole
I get it, and personally I find it very valid to throw local cuisine out of the window if it doesn't suit your tastes, I hope your parents grant you that much freedom. I can provide a few more basic recipes to start with and can point you to various cuisines that might get you started. Online recipe resources tend to be.. very mixed bags, I have very few I can recommend in earnest.
>is this the same thing?
Essentially, templating can work in many ways but cataloging your feelings is one very useful application.
>>44052091
Ah, impostor syndrome sorta stuff. It's not uncommon, and is more a matter of most people having biases against themselves they don't have against others.
>>44052278
What's up, Anon?

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>>44053759
Ah, in that case I think you are already reasonably set up, from what I know. Usually, in such a case, the next best thing is to be on the lookout for issues like pimples, impurities, etc. If you can't find anything you are actively unhappy with, frankly, I'd say you don't have to worry about having missed out on something obvious. You could get argan oil for your hair, perhaps.
>>44054090
>>44057197
Sorry about things being so rough, Anon. I know I am late to the party but I hope things cooled off and went well overall. If you still feel overwhelmed with anything in particular, I'll gladly try and help you get things in order best I can. I assume you feel incapable, being this overwhelmed. I would like you to know you aren't. Things can pile up and be a lot and needing a break or even crying doesn't make you in any way lesser, okay?
>Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I did wrong to deserve the suffering I'm enduring.
Wanna give me a bit of a bigger picture view of your circumstances, perhaps?
>>44066429
>It's working. It does, however, feel a bit silly, if I may say so.
That is very much its strength though, isn't it! Adding a bit of absurdity makes it easier to cope, or evade dooming.

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>>44067120
>44067158
>>44067919
>>44067937
>>44067981
>>44068130
Welcome back, Anon! Thank you for sharing so many pictures.
>And half the laundromats we go to don't actually do anything. They don't use water.
Wait, what the fuck, how does that work?
>I found out 5G is BAD for the consumer.
What happens in these cases is that there is a lone 5G tower in the middle of nowhere where there should be several times as many. You are generally right about consumer protection being a fucking mess. In certain ways it is particularly bad in the US, but a lot of things are the same throughout the west. There is a reason I generally vie with the right to repair movement, of which the free software movement is a digital offshoot.
>It feels i'll never be rid of the lonely
Not until your circumstances are adapted, sadly. In your current position it won't change, but once you settle down (avoiding ending up in bumfuck nowhere if at all possible) it will be easier to fix. For now I am glad to hear you're alive and doing your best in a challenging situation!

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>>44072702
Do keep us posted on the parttime gig, Anon! Fingers crossed.
>>44079673
>Depression is a bitch, but I am trying... I am trying...
It is, but you know what? You did great. You are not just trying, you are succeeding. And I'm rooting for you.
>>44080072
>i don't have it in me to fully exert myself in exercise and i don't know why
Hm, what is the point you usually stop at? As in, what usually makes you go "okay, that's enough"?
>>44080711
Well, what is it you wish to achieve? You probably aim to body build to make yourself more desirable?
>>44081729
>saying that I spend all that time just sitting in my room
Oh, that is why I was choosing the phrasing I did, they don't need to know all the details. You have a right to privacy. It is enough to say you were going through a rough time and seek to reconnect. If they have any sense they should be capable of reading the room. This is normal social protocol anon, if they take offense that would be 200% on them, most people would be sympathetic. How does that sound?

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>>44125031
Thanks, bun. I saw your posts and hope to catch up with you proper soon. Family matters can be hellish at the best of times, and your situation is far from the best of times, to put it mildly. It may not make it easier but I applaud your perseverance.

goodnight bump

>>44126522
goodnight

>>44125664
>Hm, what is the point you usually stop at? As in, what usually makes you go "okay, that's enough"?
there used to be a point where i'd hit the first wall of exhaustion and simply be able to push myself through to a second wind and get my muscles burning, but now i cap out and just kind of lose interest or something
i don't think it's anemia or illness or anything like that since i eat pretty well and i take iron supplements, and my cardio is ok since i walk everywhere, but it's like my body doesn't give a shit even though my mind does, i can't make it Do The Thing

how pathetic is it to be a cis dude at 36 who hasnt gotten laid
how pathetic would it be to lose my virginity to a trans woman, I already think it's fucking pathetic that I'm a virgin at this age. what would you think if a partner said he was a virgin lmao
god I'm such a fucking LOSER
I hate that I hate myself so much but I genuinely do not know how to fix that
besides therapy, but I keep setting up appointments and missing them because I'm just so tired from work

Headache driving me nuts right now.

I need a dopamine detox or something.

Good night

is it odd to be inflicted with visceral nightly existential anxiety? It's really annoying and frightening to find myself feeling like a bug on a wall in a cave waiting to drown in a storm I can't see coming just because it's later than 10p.m.
I'm basically sure it all just goes black eventually, and while that's scary, it seems like every single night I have to slide into a place of acceptance with that inevitability just to sleep, only for it to happen again in the next ~20 hours

>>44125699
I imagine picrel is scooping chocolate protein powder directly into her mouth, hope that's okay

>>44125629
>What's up, Anon?
nothing has gone my way for months. everything is harder than it has to be for no reason. sometimes i feel like one of those gang stalked schizos.

I need to pause with all the fucking sugar.

I can't wait to have an actual life one day.

to thrive as a trans woman in the US:
- look at your closest community colleges for a program that will allow you to get a job that pays a living wage (25/hour)
- do that and get a reasonable boob job
- move and enjoy life

>>44098024
>Are there any places of interest near you that play music that might cater to your tastes?
not that im aware of
>best you can do right now is cast a wiide net. I would like you to dedicate some time to learning
>you urgently need to expose yourself to a broad range of subjects, be it sciences, history, media, philosophy, anything
got it
>Satisfaction comes from accumulation. I can try go into detail there if need be
that'd be really nice of you

I like when it is quite.

general life updates i've been doing cardio and calisthenics again, hit another plateau after the last stretch of cutting down weight. i'm not really discouraged by it this time i just know i gotta stick with my program and make sure i burn more than i eat. started preparing for a course i'm taking up next sem, if i study early i'd have more time to apply for jobs when the usual hiring starts. i'm considering trying out mtg, found a store not too far from my place. i'm hoping that helps me socialize a bit more + the game seems fun i want to try it out ^-^ that's about it for this time :D

>>44125629
>Ah, impostor syndrome sorta stuff. It's not uncommon, and is more a matter of most people having biases against themselves they don't have against others.
mfw the imposta sus! but yeah i guess that's what it is o(--(
>>44125664
>Do keep us posted on the parttime gig, Anon! Fingers crossed.
they ended up going with other candidates got a rejection mail a couple days ago. but we ball or bawl, i'm gonna continue applying for more stuff.

as always ly all /sig/mas <3 sending virtual hugs ⊂((・▽・))⊃

>>44132445
me 2

Nigger

>>44044599
i like realised i have many more problems then i thought but i am very keen to fix them! i just arent super sure how
ive talked with someone about my mental emotional problems and they said to go do dbt or wtv so im going to book that sometime soon

but i feel like such an awful person i have so many friends that i love so dearly and i just dont talk to them, i dont message, i mean sometimes i do, they dont rlly talk to me either but i take full responsibility for that like ive been an inactive friend!
i will talk about hanging out then never plan anything and ughhhh some of them months have passed some of them years and i feel like im ruining EVERYTHING ughhhhh i need to do alot better but i just cant and i dont really know why

I am so very tired.

I just want to be loved.

Bump

>>44097956
No yeah I am really glad just going to take it step by step and not rush things for the written part and I am also practicing driving so I could take the driving test. The thing is I don’t know if my dog bit her son because I didn’t have glasses on and I didn’t really see it all that well.
I also wanted to talk about my project I have been slowly adding more stuff for the characters, but it looks like I lost a part of it. It was mostly stuff for commissions to get artwork but it’s really not necessary. The issue is I keep having more ideas that are separate from my project and it’s a bit tiring. It feels like it’s piling up, but my project is more important because I haven’t done 3D modeling as of yet so I don’t know if I am going to enjoy it.
However, first things first I have to get my life in order because I my room has been dirty, clean, dirty, clean and rinse and repeat. Also, I found out one of the libraries has yearbooks of my high school year and I plan to look at them because I don’t remember much and I have to see someone’s face again in order for me to let go of him. I have been holding to what ifs and it’s been hurting me and I want to remember things and let go of my past. There’s also another guy who I had a crush that lasted from 2014-2022. I am getting really nervous thinking of opening to see the past again.
I went to visit a friend who had a mental breakdown and I didn’t know what to do because their phone was broken and I couldn’t contact them and I was bit anxious going to visit him. Well I did, but two months after the fact and it looks like he moved away. I kept having thoughts they were already dead and I would have to contact the police in order to take their body and it’s like why didn’t I just visit him to make sure he’s okay on that week. I wish I didn’t have those thoughts.

>>44135400
I kept thinking they committed suicide, but now I don’t have to worry anymore I texted one of their phone numbers and I hope they are ok and doing well in life. I am glad I met him because I was thinking trans people where on the iffy side but I watched drag queens, feel more accepting towards other lgbt+ folks, and feel a bit more grounded nowadays.

>>44135372
same anon same.

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Hello sig, and hello siganon.
This is shinjianon. I haven't been here in a very long time.
I wanted to say thank you for the reply you sent me on my last post.

Life is still as strange as ever. I am still in a long-distance relationship with the same person. I still work out. I still have suicidal thoughts. I still go to the hospital.

I wouldn't say that I feel satisfied with my improvements or my life, but I don't see any other option than continuing what I am doing.
Even if I am doing the opposite of isolating I still feel distant and removed from the rest of the world due to my illness. Everything continues to feel like it is dying and that I have already run out of time.

Take care everyone.
I'll keep trying.

Good night

goodnight /sig/

>>44138650
nighty night

I feel a little more numb these days.

Which is a good thing, since being emotional and attached to things is where are our problems really start in this family.

I can't wait to have my own decent place.
Decent is the key word obviously, don't wanna be too ambitious.

>>44128248
Drink some water.

>>44140108
On it.

>>44136798
Take care and be safe.

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hi sig. going sober on everything starting today from everything. just wanna be healthy.
weight loss been going ok, but any advice on exercises related to posture correction? something without gym equipment or greats would rock. dowagers hump, rounded shoulders, hyperextended knees, mostly. thanks friends and stay healthy and hydrated this summer
>>44136798
stay safe and i wish you the best evanon

>>44142772
i'm a huge hybrid calisthenics dickrider and that guy has a video on posture correction. apart from that there's movement by david, he might have something on posture correction. his content primarily revolves around mobility and stuff. here's the vid by hybrid calisthenics ^-^ good luck <3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC5pPsiXO7s

>>44136798
take care and stay safe <3

>>44142887
thank you so much, I actually love that dude so that's a great suggestion

>>44142772
Best of luck.

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Why did I think I could season a wok on an induction stovetop? Why did try to buy a wok without doing more research? Because I got into another big damn hurry and looked before I leaped. You might say I was… reckless.

So I’ve got to get a pre-seasoned wok, and make fried rice some other way in the meantime. And thankfully, these days I can handle a setback like this without wondering if it means anything about my fundamental competence as a human being.

>>44044599
Any tips for greasy hair and bad skin?

>>44145795
I would also appreciate some (beginner) skincare advice

>>44144655
that's the kind of situation i end up in because i'm too lazy to actually do my research before buying stuff ;-;
>>44143053
welcome ^-^ IFKR it's peak content!! his stuff helped me actually start working out and cutting down weight :3

Good night

Not a regular poster, just wanted to share the joy. I've been working out for a month for general health and energy (and hopefully pushing my transition a little further along) and I crushed it today, 10km biked, 10km on the rowing machine, finally got my deadlift form locked in enough to start stacking weight on it. I know 100lbs isn't a lot, but I've come a long way and I'm starting to end every session happier than when I started. Good luck to all of you!

W-what do you mean there was a limited Modeus plushie? Awh..

Pg8

I'll be back in a hour or so I swear.

>>44149657
Okay, more than a hour.

I gotta get more rest.

>>44151057
Yeah, probably man.

goodnight, updates tomorrow

>>44153089
thanks

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>>44144655
I tried on my new wig caps, and the first wig I ordered. I’m going to need like sewing needles to actually style a wig on the styling head, and bobby pins to put my hair up in my wig cap better, but I’m one step closer to wigging out when I dress up.

Also, I did make a batch of fried rice today in a frying pan I’ve had. I did something I wish I had done last time and measured out all the ingredients in advance (So there was a cup each of corn, peas, carrots, and cubed spam plus four cups of rice mixed with 8 raw eggs), and that definitely made the cooking process way smoother.

The thing that’s hard for me to wrap my head around is that I have the time to measure my ingredients beforehand, that it’s worth slowing down to do that.

Been trying to eat more

>>44147333
Fuck yeah, anon, keep it up!
Cardio + Strength + Happiness—yours is the best kind of fitness: All-encompassing.
Myself, I’ve been benched for 2 months now, recovering from skin cancer biopsies and excisions (nothing serious; literally skin-deep), but I’ll finally get to start running again tomorrow—look forward to joining you when I do!
>but I've come a long way
There’s the view you get after traveling far from home, and then there’s the feeling you get at home after having traveled far.
We’re still out there, and we always will be, imagining a longer way for one another yet.
>10km…10km…100lbs
Respect for swapping between metric and imperial to get those uniform digits.
Aan you guess what letter (0)1010100 is in ASCII binary? “T,” as in—among many other words—“Thank you.”

>>44052456
Eat slower digesting foods to feel more full for longer. 1000 calories of dextrose will have u hungry again in an hour but 1000 calories of something high protein, high fibre, and long chain fats will stay digesting for a while and stop you getting hungry so quick

Good night

Every time I get into a routine of working out consistently I end up injuring myself somehow and can't work out for a week or two and then I get depressed and forget how good working out feels

>>44156861
night

Massive SH urges this week. Purely due to this fucking job that is killing me every day, but I can't fucking quit.
Anxiety, RSD etc going brrrrrrrrrr
How the fuck do I fight this and finally quit?
Just today I somehow stopped five strong impulses right before my hands touched my body to do damage.
Why do I even get this urge when others are the ones wronging me?

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I am hopeful to try and entangle myself here a bit more.

I have been on a good sleep schedule for a bit, and am starting to schedule better using a nice app that meshes well with me for deciding what I want to do roughly over coming days.
I always struggle with staying consistent at this part, but am hopeful. Life feels a lot warmer with consistent sleep and getting stuff done.

I am aiming for a decent amount of work plus art today, I think Ill aim for giving the hours scheduled vs did at the end of the day here, I wish everyone the best and good morning all <3

>>44158620
Happy for you.

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>>44158476
>Why do I even get this urge when others are the ones wronging me?
The psychology behind self harm, as I understand it, is you hurt yourself so that you can focus on that physical sensation of the pain you inflict on yourself. You can’t think about your shitty job while you’re in physical pain, which means that you have to focus on how your body feels.

It’s also a way to get a feeling of control. There’s a Family Guy episode where Chris starts pulling his hair out from stress and says, “I’m in charge of my head, that much I know.” That’s actually part of how self-harm works. You can learn things from the dumbest places.

I want to recommend a product that helped me. This company, Picky Party, makes these 3D printed cylinders covered in little spikes. You can squeeze them in your hand or roll them across your skin. They’re designed to provide a sensation of pain without causing actual physical harm. Like the opposite of a stress ball. It’s made a massive positive impact for me. Just in case you want to beat your self harm urges with help from something besides willpower.

https://pickypumicestone.com/products/stimmy-stick-soft-spikes-sensory-pain-stim-and-anxiety-release-roller-with-soft-spikes-for-focus-regulation-and-stress-relief

This post is not really about anything concise, I just need to vent somewhere acceptable and this is the only place I can think of.

Stuff on my mind:
>Family doesn't seem to understand how hard it is to get and keep a job
>Friends and peers don't reach out to me socially, I can't be mad but it still sucks
>I have no real goals besides making money, yet that doesn't help my case at all
>Dad told my sister if she succeeded in killing herself she would go to HELL
>Now remembering, years ago when he scolded me for allegedly doing something wrong by saying that I shouldn't leave a suicide note because "I'm not going to read that shit' and that I shouldn't count on staying with my grandparents if I ever try to leave the house
>I didn't even say anything about suicide or my grandparents, that's just him talking

>When I pissed him off back in Australia he stated the fact he could throw me out any time, and I would have nowhere to go
>Everyone, and I mean everyone in our family is angry and upset at their life
>I don't do anything I used to enjoy, I see no reason to even bother trying to do stuff that makes me 'happy' or accomplished
>Life is only about money and hurting people from what I see and hear
>I either bedrot in my shithole of a town or go overseas and feel like crap in a small town I don't belong in
>Family and extended family alike just get mad or annoyed when we ask for help or ask for JOBS
>Constantly reminded that there's no legal reason for anyone to take me in or keep me housed, I am always at the mercy of the family

I have more things on my mind but I'll save that for a hour before bed maybe.
Now, I am off to have some exercise and food.
Best of luck, everyone.

pawmp :3

>>44161301
thank U, kitty

>>44160145
I do use something similar already, a bunch of things actually.
Had the urges under control and maybe even lost them completely, for like half a year but they are back quite strong now ugh...
Guess work, poverty and other issues just fuck with me too much. Stagnating in life again. Very rough times in general.
The only progress I'm making is playing DRG and guitar to forget reality while in flow, as well as injecting e, hoping my hair comes back. Holy fuck, me...

i have nothing of worth to offer

why the fuck did i even bother

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I will try to catch up with the whole ass thread within the coming days.
A lot of new Helltaker content is dropping recently, the creator is making daily comics for a few months, happy times for me.
>>44081730
Cute, thanks Anon!
>>44083160
All the best in your endeavors, Anon! I am glad you are carving out a way for yourself in spite of how difficult it is.
>I've been looking into mushrooms
From what I have heard mircodosing is what is meant to help in the long run, but I have no backed, concrete info on this and generally avoid giving automed advice, but you should probs look into it if you haven't! Of course, unfortunate interactions with your current meds probably would persist. Hm.. For now I would strongly suggest not to fiddle with your medication and only experiment with it when you feel like circumstances have stabilized a bit.
And nobody here minds walls of text!
>>44085543
>If anybody here believes in God, please pray for me.
Did everything turn out alright? I do send you my well wishes, as the thing I have the most faith in is.. people, unfortunately.
>>44088460
What's up, Anon?

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>>44098657
The heat is slowly roasting me alive but I am doing well besides. Well, I apparently missed out on a plushie I would have wanted but them's the breaks.
>>44098737
>Tomorrow I'm probably going to come out to my sister
I hope it went well, Anon! Wishing you nothing but the very best.
>By the end of the year I hope to lose 15kg
If there is any help you need planning things out, remember we're there for you!
>>44099155
>I need to make more than 16 an hour. How do I get a better fucking job?
I wish the job market wasn't so fucked worldwide, I know very competent people with a useful degree struggling to get back replies. I don't say that to discourage, but just emphasize that it is not at all a mark of shame to have to look for a good while, even with a good CV. I sadly don't truly understand what specifically is the cause of this, it wasn't like this when I was younger from what I've seen.
>>44099236
It sounds like you're in mourning, if do then let me preempt by saying sorry for your loss.
I hope you don't blame yourself for anything, nothing good can come of that, which you surely already know, but it sometimes helps to be reminded.
>>44104993
Oh, revisiting things you used to watch?

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>>44103181
Unfortunately, yes. They can be harrowing things even to those that have them infrequently. Would it maybe make you feel a little lighter to share a memory?
>>44106233
You might wanna look into the butt shaping exercises book in the resources, if you aim to supplement your curves there.
>>44106276
> https://youtube.com/@hybridcalisthenics
Huh, cool! Thank you for sharing, Anon. I might put this in the resources file.
>>44107272
Hah, I love the way you phrased that! It pains me to say that parents very rarely are mentioned in a positive light in /sig/, or this board in general, so you are certainly far from alone on that front.
>>44107315
>Until a few weeks ago, I only had two.
Oh? Wanna expand upon that?

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>>44107389
First of all, congrats, Anon! I am delighted to hear the past five years have been such a massive leap forward for you. I wish you nothing but the very best, and I wanna thank you for sharing your experiences. It's such an uplifting thing.
>>44107680
A lot of it comes down to aging, I'm afraid. But some of the things, the teeth, the cleavage, sound almost like health issues. It is a thorny subject, but I feel like it is one that is kinda divorced from her being trans. If she got a boob job, it might be worth looking into that because.. if the shape of her boobs changed this might be a serious health issue, though I am far from an expert for silicone implants and the like.
>>44111785
So you wanna lose weight, and urgently. I would love to help you do so in a way it stays gone without making you suffer needlessly. Would you like to talk it through?
>>44114615
Awesome, Anon! I am glad to hear you're doing better these days. And I wholeheartedly agree, one thing at a time. It's what I always tell people here, too.
>>44115221
Well, what would you like to accomplish and what stands in the way?

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>>44161513
>I do use something similar already, a bunch of things actually
Good, excuse me for assuming you weren’t already familiar.

The urge to self-harm is a coping mechanism (just a bad one), so the more stress you’re under, the more you’ll be tempted to self-harm.

I can tell you’re still giving it your all even if it feels harder than it has in the past. Remember that resisting the urge to self harm is a kindness you’re doing yourself. And that there’s a difference between motivating yourself and criticizing yourself. Think about what you want to do, not what you regret not having done, you know?

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>>44119272
I have lost 40kg with 0 exercise essentially. CICO is what you are looking for, and if you need help figuring out your diet we're here for you.
>>44121203
>>44121327
>>44121889
>That's something at least.
It most certainly is! We can talk about it sometime this week if you wanna, I think I will catch up with the thread.. hopefully come Saturday. Maybe a little late to chime in?
>It's been rough on everyone, the family is really reaching a breaking point.
It checks out
>I have to let it go, no sense looking for a solution where it can't be found.
>I wonder if I can go out and try to live with friends for a while.
Not gonna lie it would likely do wonders for your MH. Or even getting to study or do whatever in Straya away from your family. Would require some friends over there to hang out with though.
>>44127385
If you think it is psychological, you might want to try work out with a spotter for a bit. Is there anyone you could ask to help you with that? Otherwise the personal trainer option would be there but that's an expensive experiment for something that might not actually work..
>>44127511
Not really pathetic, it's something that matters a great deal to people in their teens to early 20s but honestly in my experience people are too caught up in their lives to judge someone for that by the time they hit 30 unless they make gossip their personality.
>what would you think if a partner said he was a virgin lmao
If anything I would be sympathetic and supportive.
That said, what are the things about you that make you hate yourself?

>>44161463
ty mreaoww :3

tonight's a tv girl and bedrot kinda night but it's been pretty nice. done marinating chicken for tomorrow's dinner, tonight's dinner ready as well just gotta eat and rot ^-^ life is alright, looking forward to hanging out with a couple friends later this week!

>>44162560
pls istg the heat it's so bad i'm dying o(--(

>>44162583
>Thank you for sharing, Anon. I might put this in the resources file.
welcome welcome :3 love his content sm!! it's really simplified and he actually has a fun personality so always nice to see his vids ^-^

as always ly all /sig/mas <3 sending virtual hugs ⊂((・▽・))⊃

bump

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>>44145810
>>44145795
>greasy hair
The first thing to try is to avoid sleeping on and in synthetic fibres.
The second thing to try is switching shampoos.
Standard shampoos use Sodium Laureth Sulphate, which is rather stripping and in some cases irritating enough that your scalp will react by producing more oil (and potentially dandruff).
In toothpaste it can also lead to acne around the mouth if you are unlucky.
Another common thing that can influence it is the ph value and mineral contents of the water you shower in.
>bad skin
Niacinamide and a topical vitamin A (tretinoin, adapalene, retinol) in the evening, coupled with a vitamin C serum and sunscreen during the day can take many people quite far.

>>44142198
>>44142772
>>44142887
Thank you anons. Wish you the best of luck with your endeavours as well.

Good night

>>44166587
Night night.

pg8

>>44166587
morning

>>44162668
>It most certainly is!
>We can talk about it sometime this week if you wanna, I think I will catch up with the thread..hopefully come Saturday. Maybe a little late to chime in?
I have until the end of this week I think, to decide my fate.

If I decide to go back, my father will have to cut his vacation back home short, another sacrifice on his part again.

I have questions for him this weekend, things that he should be able to hopefully answer either tomorrow or on Sunday, to put my mind at ease about certain things.

>>44162668
>Not gonna lie it would likely do wonders for your MH
I think I'll have to postpone any sort of emotional development or peace until I can escape survival mode.
At this stage emotional catharsis means nothing to me, life's bad and I need lots of money to survive it.

>Or even getting to study or do whatever in Straya away from your family
I wish I could study something I like, but it's not in the cards.
I just need to focus on money and a *sustainable* career.

>Would require some friends over there to hang out with though
Yeah, that's an even bigger hurdle to get over.
I really don't have anybody else at this stage and I don't know how to make real friends, never really learned.

I hate being broke and mentally wacky.

I need a joint.

>>44171392
me too

A friend once said to me: "It's all just love, Anon." It didn't really get it at the time. But now I can see it from his perspective. It's so beautiful. I'm crying. You get angry and you get sad, but it doesn't matter in the end. It's all just love. I'm so glad to be alive. I'm so grateful that I get to be who I am and see things through the eyes of the people I love.

i walked to get some joints last night :D

>>44164790
bestest kitty, have a treat

I'll be venting more tomorrow, sorry.
I need to winge at the void for a bit.

>>44044599
Stay safe out there.

goodnight /sig/

Good night

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I woke up at 8pm today after a drug bender I hate myself. so im gonna do productive stuff like wash my hair and go to the post office and apply for some important college related shit and I already do so its ok im not a total waste. have a beautiful weekend sig
>>44162668
>I have lost 40kg with 0 exercise essentially
nta but if anyone would care to drop some advice cus im also trying to lose weight. I'm recovering from an ed so its rough
>>44173700
I feel this way too and it makes me regret how bad I've fucked up old friendships and relationships so bad. not like I was wrong to be angry or sad or hurt but like I wouldn't even care enough to be hurt by people if I didn't care about them and I regret how long it took me to realize. I try my best for the people in my life I just miss a smattering and am venting. big love to you anon

>>44176435
>>44176539
morning

Pg8

>>44176991
I never watched Evangelion.

pg9 pawmp :3 mreaow

>>44180768
thank you again kitty
youve done a very gud job

>>44181523
mreaoww :3
mre-iacceptscritches-aoww

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Hi /sig/. Got a pedicure today. Feels great, worth every penny. I skipped getting a pedicure in June because I didn’t think I could afford it, and I really wish I hadn’t, but that was a valuable lesson in how important this is to me.

I need to look into laser hair removal soon.

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I've dropped about 120 pounds since last year by aiming for 60 miles a week of walking and eating right, started actual gym training recently for a more toned look.

Actually thinking of starting DIY or waiting till October when I'm off my parents insurance to maybe start e, thought I would look retarded if I actually started trooning out if I was over 300 pounds but I'm now 210 looking at 160 by the end of this year. Is it worth it for me to actually start at 25 (5'10 male) or is it over?

Ate a lot of food today in a good way

goodnight /sig/

Good night

>>44183388
You're gonna make it anon i believe in you

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>>44186480
Thank you Anon, just did 13 miles tonight around town. I like looking at the cute summer fits in the shop windows when nobody is around

>>44186849
>just did 13 miles tonight around town.
I feel so lucky to read something this beautiful.

I love my mommy.

Powering through my med-induced brain fog, so I can get back to being a human again.

>>44187864
nice

>>44187864
Not med induced but somedays i have the same problem, godspeed anon

*paws at you* meow
*paws at you* meow
*paws at you* meow
*paws at you* meow