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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

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Ah shit I missed quite a few posts last night! Damn it.
>>44304244
>I've been isolated and scared for most of my life.
I am sorry to hear that, Anon. Would you like to tell me more about you, for context? I assume not much of a supportive family, probably the exact opposite, school was perhaps a bust as well?
>>44305484
>I have an annoying wart on my hand that keeps coming back no matter what I do to it.
You might wanna have a dermatologist monitor that, I assume you have tried the standard otc stuff that is available according to the instructions and it came back?
>>44309153
>I have been trying really hard lately to lose weight and have lost 5lbs a week five weeks in a row
That's amazing progress, Anon!
>>44316999
>i feel guilt when i take people's time. it feels like i'm stealing their time and personal space interacting with them.
On the one hand, time is a valuable thing, but it seems like you feel like there is absolutely nothing you can bring to the table that is a good return of investment for them, if you will. There are a couple issues with that sorta mindset. For one, maybe the simplest first sanity check, imagine someone a lot like you stood before you and managed to voice their concern, telling you they would like to talk to you but would hate to steal your time. How would you respond?
>>44327810
Oh that fucking sucks, I hate how locked down and impotent smart phones are.

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>>44325523
>>44332703
In spite of everything, we persist!
I am happy to hear you found a great therapist, although it sucks that you don't have many people to talk to. Are there any old contacts you would like to rekindle, or perhaps you feel ready to make new friends?
>>44328643
>I've been doing my best but my best is never good enough
What recent example did you have in mind saying that?
>>44335804
>I didn’t end up reading a lot this month, but I still read a few graphic novels, and I’m sure I’ll get back in the groove next month. Still looking for that balance of doing stuff that’s important to me I guess.
Heya, Panty! I don't know about you but in my case the main issue is the heat distracting me/slowing me down.
>>44337482
>i'm thinking of getting started with making sourdough anyone got any tips for complete beginners?
Honestly, if you start completely from scratch you will know rather quickly whether it worked, though the main problem is the amount of waste if you don't bake often in my experience (by scent). Bear in mind that the container you keep the stuff in will be pressurized if you close it tightly.
>>44337534
>I WILL call my old psych today and get them to send my medical records so that I can get on meds again
Checking in on you Anon, how did it go?

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>>44335252
>nobody reaches out to me
>>44343976
>I have to shift my sleep schedule to being awake during the day.
More of a night person, huh? I know that feel, it sucks but it does get a little easier with time.
>>44346365
>Gonna be going for a therapy session today most likely
Do tell me how it went!
>>44346384
>Yeah pretty much, I'm chronically depressed and have little energy or drive to do absolutely anything.
Improving these things is most commonly a spiral facing outward: the very first few cycles, the very important steps, are tiny. The bigger steps come more easily to you once you build momentum, but at the beginning no success is too small to matter! I assume brushing teeth every day and basic maintenance would be a good place to start? It depends how deep in the pit you are.
>>44347290
>Then he told me not to LIE to him.
His paranoia might be legitimately pathological, bun. Stupid question but does he sometimes hear things that aren't there?
>I'll explain more later, I need to make some breakfast and take a nap.
Good call.

>>44349477
>Wtf? Why does /sig/ survive on lgbt board
Do you mean in contrast to.. I believe /fit/sig which gets moved to /adv/sig?

Even sig anon wants me to kill myself through his white lies I can't stand it every friend* keeps lying and friendship is not a real thing

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I'll reply to all the previous posts I missed, and I'll do my self-pitying trauma dump after I wake up and apply to some more online jobs again.

For, now I am wishing you all the best.

Thank you for all the feedback and advice.
Especially to Siganon, I can't thank you enough for humoring my rambling.

>>44352668
Yeah I think so.
It's fucking confounding how quickly it dies everywhere else.
You'd think it would last somewhere in those two.

>>44353188
Please don't spiral, just calm down.

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>>44352234
sometimes I have intrusive thoughts of having a hook up with a greasy chaser fub even though I don't like men what should I do

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>>44352585
>I don't know about you but in my case the main issue is the heat distracting me/slowing me down

I have comics I’ve been meaning to read and comics I’ve been meaning to draw. I made some good progress on reading, and then I guess I wanted to focus on drawing. The drawing will be a bit slower because I’m building a new routine there. But I want to make time for both, and I think I’ll be able to. It’s a process of trial and error, you know?

Today I made this mango stir fry. Fried tofu in a spicy marinade, pan fried zucchini, oven roasted bell pepper, and a spicy mango sauce made with about 3 tablespoons of Lao Gan Ma and 3 cups of mango chunks.

>>44354230
okays im sorry for overreacting

pg7

Good night

>>44352234
Today is the day I run ten miles without a break

>>44356391
good luck

>>44356391
stay strong and take care of yourself

>>44356391
you can do it nona

>>44356391
best of luck

Even now, my father plots/plans to sell the house.

He's telling this to my other sibling now, he must not realize I can hear him from my room.

This is never going to end, is it?
I'm just some loser living in his world.

I need some deodorant.

>>44343976
>>44352654
>sleep schedule
Been fighting this all my life - since I was a toddler - supposedly. Complete night owl, because I can feel my body being in peak condition at night but only rarely during daytime. Currently, I use a few things to help me, including plushies and a noise box. I can't stand absolute dead silence for falling asleep, especially with neighbors who dgaf about being loud retards at night.
Doesn't always work, but it improved falling asleep for me.
Aside from that, there's the ADHD and anxiety symptoms too, so I still can't keep a good schedule for more than a few weeks at most.

>>44358437
>ADHD and anxiety
Oh, and I forgot depression, of course.

Dating apps are such humiliation rituals I hate them so much.

>>44359411
Yeah, I'm glad to not be part of that stuff.
Seems exhausting.

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another day another venting into the void ^.^ i hope that one day i will be able to not be force into self isolation it too lonely but i am not good friend material

dont forget to clean your room :)

>>44361177
I'll try.

Nobody is ever going to admit they were wrong in my family, are they?

Stay cool out there, fellas.

i'm doing laundry and somehow massively fucked up the loads and temperature. at least i'm doing laundry. on saturday i will go hiking which is also pretty great. how do you all deal with the fact that it feels easier to not do anything for yourself and rot away? i sometimes want to go back to the way i was.

>>44362471
no that's how families are

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>>44362471
>>44364877

Yeah, people aren’t always rational. They don’t always admit fault when they should, and can’t always articulate why they think the way they do. Besides that, a lot of general mental health concepts, terms, and skills either didn’t exist or weren’t as accessible to older generations. Things like introspection and emotional regulation are things that need to be practiced. You don’t automatically gain them with age and turn them off to be nasty.

A lot of behavior that’s considered unhealthy or unfair now was more tolerated in the past because most people didn’t know what else to do about it. So the Boomer or Gen Xer in your life might not be apologizing when they should because they literally can’t understand why they need to.

Sometimes you need to trust your own convictions and accept that a family member like a parent, someone you still love, isn’t going to be able to understand where you’re coming from. It’s something you’ll need to process on your own.

I know I wasted a lot of time trying to reason with my dad, and not getting that his shitty attitude was forged by trauma, not logic. It was hard needing to change how I felt about my father as I got older — admire him less, like him less, tolerate him more. But it’s what I needed to do in the end.

Good night
>>44361177
Too tired after working out today

Bump

Sorry for the late reply, but yeah I do keep it in a scrapbook to jot them down and write how things should be, but unfortunately there is one I don’t understand and I recently updated previous storyboards just not being able to understand that one. The issue it’s many things like character lines, animation, their theme song and three different storylines regarding characters. Sometimes it’s like maybe I should create an AMV for another thing, but with original artwork but I have never really done much besides making art. I am still updating it and it does make me happy doing all of this even if it might come it true it’s fun doing.

The thing with my room is it’s usually dirty is because I stockpile things and at days I masturbate and wash my sheets every other day because I masturbate on my bed and the smell lingers on my sheets when i do it. Sometimes I put dishes in my room so I could wash them later and that usually happens 3 days after. There is a lot of just stuff on the ground that are just there and I have to clean my closet but I’ve been planning on it since I have earbuds now so I don’t feel so weird because I think I get overstimulated without them.

I did clean it recently and I feel better I wish I had a rug in my room because I want to exercise it feels weird being on a dirty and cold floor. I saw a youtuber’s shelf which looked like it didn’t take much space and it spirals too which is neat so I can put some of my books on it. I just have to check the measurements to see if it’s in my room.

I haven’t got around to that yearbook and I’m still scared of opening that can of worms, but I have earphones so I think I can do it bit by bit. I still don’t know how he is doing nowadays, but I hope he is okay because I ghosted him back then when I was going through psychosis and I don’t know if it’s true but I think I overhead him knowing about my next door neighbor having attraction towards me when I was 16 and I think he said that I was disgusting.

>>44366208
I am still unsure if he even knew or said that about me.

I wasn’t okay at all back then because everytime he snapped his fingers I thought he was part of the Illumnati and was trying to mind control me to be his sex slave. I know it sounds ridiculous but that’s what my head keep thinking that he was trying to do that to me. I hated him so much I wanted to hurt him so bad because I thought that’s what he was trying to do to me. The final straw was my mom found out my dad cheated on her in the beginning of their relationship and what I saw was me and him and how that could be us as of that time and in the future and I decided that we shouldn’t be involved even though it was a situationship. The heartbreak and the screaming and I just saw my mom crying and it wasn’t something I wanted in my life. I wanted it to be more I know he liked me and I liked him, but I didn’t want that to be us.


We walked down the same stairs to go to the same class and our hands were close and I wanted to grab his hand I felt so warm near him and thought if we were together it would solve every problem I had, but everything that was going on during highschool was too much and I didn’t want for either of us to be in a relationship were we hurt each other. I decided it was that I ghosted him and that was that once I graduated I never saw him again and now I don’t even know how he is doing anymore or where he is I guess maybe it’s fitting that I don’t get any closure.


I haven’t done reading on doing my driver’s license because I was all about porn for three weeks and I hate that I can’t quit it because I forgot to put no +18 material on reddit I am not kidding.

>>44366220
Right now I am with my sister and I stayed for like 3 days so I can have time to myself and don’t have the feeling I need to masturbate. I am doing good as of these past days I was watching movies, brushing my teeth, doing my work for my project, and hanged out with some friends I feel more better and once I go back home I am going to study to get my driver’s license.

For entertainment I have been watching Precure shows which are magical shows and I am really happy I have always loved that genre and wishing I can get one. The thing is Precure has these dance videos for the ending song and I have been wanting to do those dance moves because it looks fun to do I just need some space to practice to do it. I also want to cosplay some of the characters, but I am on the fence whether I am going to shave my moustache for an accurate cosplay. I think maybe I might from what I seen to change the cosplay to a genderbent outfit from a girl outfit to a boy.

For my friend who moved I hope they are doing well and I know where he headed off and hopefully we meet again and even if we don’t I am really glad I met him. I don’t have that much internalized homophobia and feel more accepting to myself and open to watching more lgbt+ material. I just need that and more self-reliant because I still have the issue of hoping I meet a guy and it fixes all problems and not having crushes like a guy talked to me and he has a fagcent and it’s like I am now having a crush on you and want to go out with him and it’s like I am not really interested in him.

It’s literally he is a man and now I am all over him because of one interaction and I want to put an end to it. Some of the crushes I had no interest which lead to me falling head over heels where it’s like I know I don’t care but I can’t stop myself because I have so many issues I haven’t resolved from 10 years ago which has been affecting so much of my life.

My mother and father plan to put our house on the market in 2028.
That's the deadline now, I suppose.
I have to think about where I can live in the future, I have to see if I can call in a few favors.
At least it's something, unless they end up going back on thier word somehow.

Now, even my sister wants to come to Australia because how shit her relationship with my mother is.
I have to talk to them about it somehow.

I feel so fucking hopeless everyday.
The two of them hate each other so fucking bad that they turn EVERY conversation/dicision into a marriage issue.
They won't let me fucking SLEEP.

My dad started this fucking shitshow with his lies and insecurity, now he's fucking WON.
He lied to me and then tried to pin all this instability on my mother.
I hate my life, and I hate myself for not being able to prevent this nightmare.
He's been a pig for years, and now he has lost my sympathy.

I am done.
The world just toys with me.
I'll tell more of the story here and the full story in my therapist visit on Thursday.

I am done keeping all of this to myself.

>>44343341
>That is more than fair, yes. Blaming anyone is not something that will help you be productive anyhow but least of all yourself, for the past at least, okay?
Yeah.
I can't let this weigh me down, there's too much at stake get stuck in my head.

>That checks out
He hates my mother.
He hates that he can't control or have her anymore.
We can all see this, he's treated her poorly for years with no one at my mother's side, not even her own parents.

But now, there's enough proof we can legally finalize to keep him from damaging things anymore.
To hold him accountable.

He DID abuse and manipulate people all his life, my mother is no saint but everything started with my dad and his own ignorant decisions.

>In most jurisdictions I know he needs to be legally married for that to mean squat
I know, that's why I can't confirm anything since he's so tight-lipped.

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Gym progress over the past ~1.5 years
Went from 140lbs to 170lbs but pretty stagnant recently

>>44367057
beautiful

>>44367227
Thank you!

>>44365082
i need to be better at remembering this. i'm almost 30 and need to be able to form my own opinions and beliefs about myself. i feel like i'm such a stranger to myself because i've done a lot to conform to a person that's the most palatable to them and my community at large.

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The few hours of sleep I managed to get are a Godsend.

Feels good to feel like a human every now and then.

>>44367296
You are very welcome, you should be proud of your progress.

>>44367057
this is so gay but youre so hot in both pics

>I understand wanting some kind of immediate certainty about the big picture, especially if you’re laying in bed and can’t fall asleep
I'm just tired of not having anything to look forward to anymore.
I always dread the next day.

>I’ve been there many times myself
>Many a night agonizing over all my uncertainties, getting more tired and more miserable, none of which contradicts the simple fact that getting a good night’s sleep can have you wake up happy to live another day
I've been there a lot for the past few months.

I just wish people in this house would just let me sleep, nobody seems to believe in having 8+ hours of actual rest.
It's always dramadramadrama.

>You don’t need to decide right now if the rest of your life is worth living. Right now you just need to rest. You’re making ultimatums because you’re tired and anxious. So do something that will help you relax
>That’s a hell of lot simpler than wrestling with these existential questions tonight, no? Feel better and remember, all you have to do tomorrow is tomorrow’s work
Okay, I will.
Before bed, I will just focus on calming down.

Thank you for the help, I just want to get some rest.

>>44368305
Sorry, forgot the proper link:
>>44335666

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>>44368199
Tyty, I am especially around the booty hehe
>>44368236
It sure is lol thx

>>44368356
w-wowie

>>44368356
dat ass

>tfw got stretch marks all over the sides of my butt cheeks
>was never fat
Guess it was over for me the entire time I've been alive.

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>>44368539
stretch marks can be really cute too though imo

sig anon will be happy

>>44366343
>>44343341
>Yes, recovering but fine overall!
I am glad to hear that!

>I understand, but I hope my words bring you a bit of comfort
They do, they really do.

>What is next on your agenda?
Next week Thursday, I will be going for a two hour therapy session, I am writing down everything I suspect is relevant to my life.
In addition, I've been trying to get some legal advice from a friend in the police.

I still have to decide whether I will bother going to Australia, because my dad's word and his reliability as a source of guidance and stability is in question.

Him and my mother have reminded me once again, that I really am on my own when it comes to getting the stability I want out of life.
My dad will talk behind my mother's back with us, trying to squeeze incriminating information out of us. And sometimes even my mother will have to but it's only because he started this kind of exchange.

Last Tuesday it got so bad he gave me his favorite line 'Don't lie to me' after I told him exactly what we we're doing with the money in the shared bank account.
I didn't try to cover anything up but because it involves my mother, the woman he can no longer have, he has to try to smear her as a manipulator.

One of these days, she will have to take legal action to get him to back off.
At that point, it's out of my hands:
I've been trying to play peace keeper for over a year; I got nothing.

>>44368625
cute little piggies

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Panty here again! I made some pineapple curry yesterday. I listed a few things from my toy collection on eBay. I’m trying to let go of things I’m keeping in a box waiting for someday.

Small cooking W: My mom cooked a new recipe and I was giving her advice about it and teaching her things.

>>44367324
Glad I could help!

>get the motivation i need to lose weight again
>start stair stepping
>7-8 sessions, sharp pain shoots down my right hamstring
>too many pushups makes something in my shoulder sharp and painful (has been like this 4-5 years)
>left thumb has had a sharp pain when i make a fist for like over a year
>wrist has had pains for years after trying kickboxing to lose weight and twisting my wrists hard one too many times
welp back to zero exercise and light stretching for the next month, awesome. maybe ill try swimming next what could go wrong. i need like 3000$ worth of physical therapy at this pointlmao

>>44368625
holy fucking shit how do i get an ass liek dis

>>44366046
siganon pumping anons full of love (spiritually and emotionally)

Good night

>>44374668
good morning

>>44352668
Yeah I was expecting it to survive in /adv/ or /fit/, read old threads like >15532952 and came looking for it and if I'm not mistaken I remember seeing the threads in /pol/ also. No idea what happened, I saw a /fitlit/ board too

>>44369655
thanks lol
>>44371133
I train legs (and ass) twice a week and make sure to eat enough calories and protein each day and take creatine

>>44376401
>thanks lol
no, thank (you)

I do not trust my father.

pg7

>>44378269
I will never trust my father again.

>>44044647
>
>I can't even vocalize it well.

>I fully understand the position you are in there, the only thing I can tell you is that it is extremely likely that this pull you feel towards it can actually be satisfied with something entirely different. Most of the time these things happen it is more a matter of fixing something unrelated, because I can pretty much assure you the craving will not go away even if you were to reach your goal. I know this isn't helping on a level this abstract but I need to preempt with an explanation to be able to help at all. Let's try and break it down into means and ends, it will require some soul searching on your end. The goal here is to critically dissect this urge and ask to what end you wish to, for example, reach that weight. Try dissect how you feel about yourself, what makes you unhappy and why. I can try walk you through this in greater detail if need be.
I just don't want to be stuck at this shithole but ever time I wanted to go out something always dragged me back, like "Don't Forget, You're Here Forever" and "
Online I'm fine! But IRL I'm an...
(insert nationality here).
i have a genetic disease called being (insert nationality here)
I'm so sorry for being (insert nationality here).
It's not my fault!
I smile all the time... so that... No one knows that I'm
(insert nationality here)"
Like I can't ever ever ever ever fated to erase this nasty stain about me.
I want to collect citizenships like collecting infinity stones so I can forget about this nightmare.
I want to relive my 20s again while being almost 35 or something I feel like I have been forced to spend by best years in such a gruesome situation

>>44044651
>
>No, but I assume a one-pot meal would serve enough complexity.
>Though I hate meal prep so much
>Washing cutting vegetables would probably take 4x the time of cooking.
>Meats are even worse
>I fear for the clean up.

>Okay, taking all of that into consideration one of the first things that come to mind is pasta recipes. Do you have a chef's knife? Personally I find ones with a large blade particularly beginner friendly. You would hold it with your thumb and index finger pinching the blade itself while wrapping the remaining three fingers around the handle, as can be seen in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chef%27s_knife#Technique.
If you put cooking like a degree or something
what are like the steps to learn cooking like what kinda skills you have to pick up
like with language learning you often start easy with grammar that describes the present, then some easy words
i feel like I am trapped if I were to not being given a curriculum or something I like cannot see a positive progression type shit

>>44044668
>
>I am open to suggestions but just expect that I might/not do it.
>Of course, there is no burden of expectation here. I can't make you reply to me, or follow advice, Anon! And I don't have all the answers to begin with. I am just trying to help, and you're trying to let yourself be helped, which is appreciated enough. I need to ask
>I want to just prove a point really by losing that much weight.
>What is the point you are trying to prove, it ties into what I said earlier about means and ends. To what end do you wanna lose that much?
I want to erase every gained muscle on the wrong time of my life, I would bulk on pioglitazone once I reached like super low BMI and cowmode until back into a healthy BMI so I barely have arm muscles. There's this femboy in the internet once I saw, his BMI was like, 14 and I know that it isn't a healthy role model but it kinda seared into my brain.
https://twitter.com/catkaldir/status/2061960329400332652
yeah nevermind

>>44044668
>
>Good examples are like learning a language or playing a musical instrument, a piano for example.
>Hm, both of these things greatly benefit from making time in the day/week for it. Sticking to it is another matter of course and I know that neurodivergence/ADHD fucks with normal (SMART-type) approaches for these matters but I think it would still be great to set one day in the week at least for you to dedicate 1-2 hours on either subject for now. Which days doesn't matter, only that you have something concrete to do in them and have reminders for yourself, ideally automated. Are there any days where you are (kept) busy, or any preference for days? Ever heard of Anki?
Is this SMART approach would be good for me?
>Anki
tried that once when I tried to learn Japanese but because of circumstances in life, I dropped it. SO I don't have like great memories of it.

>
>So does keeping ingredients, I feel like I have to keep that in check too.
>When I am at my lowest I usually stick to shelf stable ingredients with fresh additions I can buy spontaneously.
I mean, spices are mostly shelf stable and they don't really expire but still, I don't like keeping a lot of unused things in my place

>
>You must be old here.

>Let's just say I am mid-30s and have found 4chan at the age of 16-17.
meanwhile I never see the golden age of /b/ where greentext like Damaged Good and Blindmute Loli https://wiki.bibanon.org/Stories#The_Father_and_his_Daughter
I wish I could experience early internet culture.

>>44044668
>
>Bros, I am just tired of nothing ever happening for me and things actively backsliding.
>
>I just want one thing in life, that is that for my efforts are actively rewarded.
>It is immensely tiring, which is exactly why I am so sympathetic of your circumstances. Nobody deserves to be in a pit like this and I hope I can help you out even a little to break free.
at this point of my life I just don't exactly wish a lot of good things happening because everytime it happens I always get monkey paw'd

>>44044661
>
>I find it impossible to do cooking without a big spice rack.

>I get what you mean, I personally like recipes where I only need very few spices, which is one of the reasons I make a lot of Italian/Mediterranean dishes at home I think, where the focus often is on having a small number of ingredients shine.
I sent you my spice rack >>44194501, please respond.
>>44047853
>>44284670
>Honestly it seems like the amount and variety of spices available has also grown quite a lot across the west since my childhood, at least from what I have gathered traveling to various countries in the past 10 years and extrapolating.
Anon I live in a place where it's so far from the West anon, have you even read >>44194501 ?
>The book is the Silver Spoon from Phaidon, and is available at all shadow libraries. It has a lot of recipes for every skill level!
I could also offer you a few more dishes, some more strugglemeal-y than others. And you are right the amount of liquid is very deceptive in the pot! I know you wanna lose weight but I don't think we ever talked about meals you actually enjoy eating. I know you dislike overly spiced food so Italian is in fact a very good choice of cuisine to look into. But what do you like?
No, I am raised on a spiceful kitchen and like the cuisine, just not the hassle of the preparation.
the fact that I added a lot of black pepper and stock means that maybe I just might need to either explore Italian cuisine more or maybe I should so stronger cuisine culture.

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im scared... i hope siganon is okay...

How do you stop boozing? It's been my only coping mechanism for the past 20 years, but my organs hurt so I should probably stop.

Good night

>>44378269
>>44380652
So much stuff happened this week. I can barely compartmentalize it enough.

I'm gonna wake up after a few hours of sleep and just start typing again for as long as I can until I get hungry enough to make breakfast.

pg7

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>>44382836
I am fine, unfortunately out of comission and barely online the coming days, I should be more responsive come late Monday or Tuesday.

>>44385293
No problem at all, take your time.

We appreciate what you do, we will keep things going here.

>>44352234
Anybody got advice for aging gracefully as a dude?

I realised yesterday that as a cis man I'm attracted to women emotionally and men sexually. what does that make me? (inb4 mentally ill)

>>44352234
I'll be doing three posts after I get some rest tonight:
>the belated trauma dump
>the conditions with my father
>the situation in the family

As for a Short Update:
>Therapy session is set for Thursday, 9pm
>Currently writing a major list of all the things I believe are impacting my mental health
>Not considering any medication, although I don't believe it will be suggested anyhow
>Will ask the therapist honestly if its wise for me to leave for abroad in this state
>Compiling evidence regarding the mismanagement and negligence my father has displayed in the past, but crucially since 2024 to now
>Need to be sure I don't hold anything untrue against him
>Rest assured I have legitimate reasons to feel and view him the way I do
>There's very little support for our family, financially or socially so I must handle this carefully and find people I can trust beyond our extended family
>My father mistreated my mother greatly while I stayed with him, he may not be held accountable right now but one day it happen and I will not stand in the way of it anymore
>Nobody listens to me anyway so it's not like I can stop anything
>He owes my mother a TON for standing by him for years despite all he did and allowed
>I must be strong and calm somehow

This week has been hell due to many things, this sleep will be an amazing reprieve.
>Travel ticket is paid for
>This weekend is the last chance for me to chicken out about going to Australia

>>44388555
Bi?

>>44388555
“Aromantic” would be a label I think you’d find helpful when interacting with men who have sex with men. It’s a relatively well known and accepted concept in that scene.

You’d have an easier time finding men who just want to fuck than women who want an asexual relationship with a man, but it’s not impossible.

Also, labels have their place in exploring and understanding one’s own sexuality, but if you’re still figuring out what kind of relationships you want and you’re interested in more than one thing, you probably aren’t done learning about yourself so be mindful of that.

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A little bit of levity before I really get into the friction and pressures of my life and the household I live in.

I wish you all the best, please take care and be safe.

>>44389142
fwiw i like australia. i met my wife from aus in /sig/ :) but im not a good solo traveler so idk your circumstance if you have the support overseas. you already paid for it!

>>44389193
I mean I am attracted to women and can get aroused, but feel more aroused by men, maybe its the "taboo" of it that still lingers in my mind

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>>44389358
It does sound like you’re bisexual, but also like you’re used to people expecting you to not be too sexually disinterested in women.

Lots of people feel pressure to conform to straight society, and see some capacity to do so as a good thing. Maybe you should focus more on what you want and less on appeasing other people. You can do what you feel expected to do and still not satisfy some people.

Normal as my parents were, their families didn’t get along because they went to different churches. They didn’t practice different religions, they just went to different churches! Sometimes it’s better to take the trouble that comes with what you really want out of life.

page 9. it’s scary here

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Do you ever pee yourself a little the moment you sit down or stand up?

Good night
>>44392089
no

>>44392089
usually when I am tired or sick

>>44392089
what?
no twinks?

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>>44389142
Updates will be done later today, after I take care of a few errands and chat with my mother.

>>44389243
>fwiw i like australia.
Me too, honestly.
In my experience it is a good place to be, I just don't have enough cash or stability to enjoy it.

>i met my wife from aus in /sig/ :)
That's awesome, Anon!
I am very glad you met someone special :)

>but im not a good solo traveler so idk your circumstance if you have the support overseas
I will be traveling with my father, and a few contacts of his.
So, that's something.

>you already paid for it!
True, it's already set in motion but I still have a choice at least.

I have to focus on part-time online and irl work this time, if I decide to actually go.
No other way abroad, yet.

pg7

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>>44352234
Does anybody have any advice on learning new skills?

I need to skill up in IT, Software and other online skills so I can do something more reliable with my time.

>>44389142
Trauma Dump (Part1?):

*Lost a treasured family friend and two dogs near the end of highschool, finale exams were hell
*None of us really dealt with the grief, just moved forward
*College was unpleasant, exhausting and lonely
>Full-time studies, so no internship or part-time work to speak of. Not much else can be said
*First year out of college I was so burnt out I applied to any tech, software of it gig possible
>I was ashamed of how unprepared I was. It didn't help my career at all

>>44394404
curious, what other country is your choice?

I need help quitting competitive games and replacing my obsession with something productive.
I am delusional and think I have any chance at all at making it as a streamer but I lack the personality and the skill and I'm only going to get older and worse.
But at the end of the day it's the only thing I'm good at and studying and trying to learn something new, even if it interests me makes me anxious because I'm bad at it and worry I will never be good and am only wasting time.

>>44396593
Trauma Dump (Part 2):

>Many years ago, my driving instructor accused me of driving unsafely with her in the car, to my father
>She didn't confront me in person from what I recall, didn't say anything after the lesson to me at all
>Dad woke me up by poking me in the head to confront me
>He took me for a drive to continue berating me
>He told me I shouldn't bother running to my grandparents because he would make sure they don't take me in
>Basically, he said theres no escape or support waiting for me
>The lecture was long, he said I could've killed this woman and it would've traumatized her family forever
>Keep in mind, this woman NEVER confronted me about it the day before, I didn't know any of this
>To my knowledge, all I did was take a few sharp turns to avoid reckless traffic during my driving lessons
>The woman herself has a reputation for being rude, so who even knows
>I apologized heavily, crying and sniveling
>I basically begged him to punish me physically in a way that no one could blame or get arrested him for (I wanted to protect him) because I felt so bad
>He said no thankfully, he said it wouldn't change anything if I don't learn my lesson
My father loves taking the word of other people over his offspring or ex-wife.

>My father told me at the end of the lecture or punishment or whatever he wants to call it that:
'If you ever try to kill yourself, don't write me a letter becouse I won't read that SHIT'
>Then we went home
>I got yelled at, and then my dad told me my suicide note wouldn't mean anything to him
This happened during highschool.

>>44396605
Hard to say but my first impulses are:
Japan, The Isle of Man or The Netherlands.

Those are just the places I can think of, haven't had enough money or options to really consider anything else.
It has to be somewhere that someone like me can live and make money without friction, above all else.
Also, I can only speak English and my own native language.

What about you? Any places you are keen on?

>>44396920
to be honest I am not as privileged as you so I can't really say anything.
I still think Australia just because it's proximity to western spaces enables you to have a higher glass ceiling of wage or something.
Not saying that the netherlands isn't western but the kingdom of netherlands kinda don't want you to have multiple citizenships,

Is there a term for the kind of insecurity where you only feel comfortable talking about things if you perceive yourself as an expert in it, or at the very least the most knowledgeable person in the room

>>44396750
One option that comes to mind that it doesn’t sound like you’ve explored is getting a behind the scenes job in streaming or e-sports. Any streamer or e-sports competitor or event will have management, and it’s possible you have some amount of knowledge that would be transferrable to a more stable, lower-stakes position in the same business. You could get a degree in accounting or small business management, public relations or IT and that would put you ahead of everyone fan with enthusiasm but not credentials, and every responsible normie who doesn’t know what’s popular in that scene.

Accepting that you’ve peaked in a competitive field is not easy, but you don’t have to accomplish something huge in the spotlight to survive. Big stars burn bright and fade away fast, but there’s always a crew of people they depend on.

>>44397017
>I still think Australia just because it's proximity to western spaces enables you to have a higher glass ceiling of wage or something
That's my main motivation at the moment, so that's a solid point.
The best option for now.

>Not saying that the netherlands isn't western but the kingdom of netherlands kinda don't want you to have multiple citizenships
Yeah, that's another hurdle.
1st world places have their own individual sets of standards, not to mention the crackdowns that can happen too.

More for me to think about then.

>>44389142
The Situation in the Family:

>Father is set with his new gf, he seems very serious about her, we will see how well that goes
>He's still on unpleasant terms with my mother but any mistreatment is more maneagible for now
>It doesn't make any of it right or moral, but this town was never a place for decent people to behave themselves
>Me, my mother and our family are still dealing with the fallout of last year both financially and mentally
>In addition to the general gossip and small-town politics of where we live, the very thing that helped galvanize my father's paranoia and remains a source of constant pressure for us
>So far, my mother claims she has living rights and that my father will never be able to sell this house from under us without our full consent - I will explain why this is the case soon
>She said he must ask HER for the freedom to stay here and the right to store anything of his here
>I hope she has all her facts straight
>I am helping collect any legal information I know that can 'protect' us from more of his paranoid behavior, like when he ignored transferring money for my siblings lunch in order to talk to multiple lawyers, none of them being able to help him by the way
>My father wanted to ruin my mothers life by the looks of it, he's pretty much succeeded despite how optimistic we force ourselves to be
>He has spread misinformation and gossip around for no reason other than spite, a massive blow to any respect or sympathy I can have for the man
>He has his own set of skeletons in a closet I know of, he has zero reason to be this bold in his accusations
>I must handle this nightmare carefully and cautiously

More to say tomorrow but this should cover the gist of it for now.

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I will be going to sleep soon.

Goodluck and goodnight, everyone.

Take care of yourself and anyone you care about :3

A special thank you to Siganon and many other posters, for giving us a space for discussion like this.

I want it to cool down so that I can work out whenever I want

Good night

>>44401774
Night, have a good rest

pg7

>>44352234
Are chronic stomach problems just something that happens in your mid twenties?

>>44403125
Not traditionally, no.

>>44403125
It’s more likely you have undiagnosed IBS or Crohn’s Disease, a lot of people realize they have them in their twenties.

>>44389142
The conditions with my father, as of this week.

My Father's health:
>His shoulder is very worn out, as is his lower back
>He is currently 47 years old
>He's dealing with an illness at the moment
>His job is very demanding for him physically
I am aware how hard things are for him in health.
I feel really bad for him, and I wish I could help more but the only way how is by not costing this family so much money.

My Fathers promise:
>He said he wants to be a better father to me, he's said it both sober and buzzed now
>He said he will try to understand me more when I try to be honest with him
>He will do what he can to support me in a career where I can function/excel in

My conditions for going back to Australia:
>NO threats of homelessness or displacement in another country, if he wants me to leave then all I want is to be sent back properly and I will not hold it against him
>If online work is on the table, then I need a decent internet connection, so I can help pay it off down the line and possibly have it count as a write off
>I need my privacy, I don't want any intrusion or to be brought into more drama, especially since nobody will listen anyway
He did seem fine with these, he was pretty clear with not wanting me to be homeless under any circumstance he can think of.

We will see, I suppose.
I sent two emails to him with these conditions, I need to ask him to type out a confirmation response to my second email.

I am mentioning all of this now, just so I can paint a honest picture of things with my father are going at this point.

I want to be fair to him when it comes to certain things, he's not ALL bad but he has made many irradic decisions that have made trusting him a very stressful thing.

>>44396750
Try journaling.

Fucking urge to SH and an hero because fuck work and NT spaces.
Losing to the SH urges a bit, but keeping the other thoughts at bay.
I hope I get fucking fired tomorrow or ran over by a truck or something, because while this job is hell every single day and pays just above minimum wage (over here), I can't fucking quit. It's killing me.
How do I find the strength to work on getting therapy and meds when every time I ask doctors for help, actually telling them "I can't help myself, I can't make appointments, please help me" I get told "you can make an appointment, I believe in you" instead of actually getting fucking help.

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Tomorrow. Stay safe, everyone.

>>44405915
Thank you for everything, wishing you the very best.

so tired

bun>>44406040
bump0

Good night

>>44410590
night

pg9

I really need to get my shot together.

The therapist dropped me.
The appointment doesn't exist at all.

My dad is dealing with health issues and hospital nonsense.

We have to fly on the 13th.
I hate this country.

>>44396782
Trauma Dump (Part 3):

>My dad's family never accepted my mother
>My mother's family treated her poorly at the start and throughout her relationship with my dad, kicked her out of thier house when things got serious
>She wasn't treated well by them before then either, but it got so so much worse
>My mother's Bf lets his family walk all over us with their gossip, and he's up to something behind our backs by the look of things

Nobody will leave us in peace.
Even with no money, no support and no prospects, people still refuse to leave us alone.

The worst part, my father wants to pin ALL of this mess on us and our mother.

HE started this nightmare, he's just upset that's its catching up to him now.
Now that the drama is complicating his comfort and situation, NOW he wants to act like he's the reasonable one.

There's no going back from this, we we're never really a family to begin with for the last few years.
Now?
There's no point in pretending anymore, all we can do now is survive.

I don't believe in him anymore.
Or that there will be emotional cathersis after all of this.

>>44405915
baller

test..

ive been getting contour work done while losing weight, hows my figure looking?

https://litter.catbox.moe/xghtlv9kixxmej5n.jpg
https://litter.catbox.moe/d2g20koqk5ulbjiz.jpg
https://litter.catbox.moe/1o8pejbj4i58qmym.jpg
https://litter.catbox.moe/pcpjf0zphtwo9sym.jpg

>extreme anxiety and depression for weeks again
>no real hope of things getting better in general
>third day of not eating anything
>most shitty fuck ass day at work yet again
Despite or maybe because of this, I fucking walked home for two hours instead of taking the bus. Then showered and ate a expensive microwave meal.
Guess tomorrow is back to being no-energy miserable and anxious again once the massive fuckery of today fades.
Unless I finally do something about it.

At least I managed to not just rot the evening away completely.

>>44415045
Also somehow managed to not sh today, despite having been to hell yet again.

>>44414915
I can imagine this may look good. Keep going!

>>44342949
great choice, i usually have robusta heavy blends or pure robusta because it pairs well with the cigs i smoke. as a standalone cup of coffee i love fruity blends! i'll give v60 a try that sounds nice :3

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I am a man of my word. Sadly internet connection fuckery makes it hard to post today though..
>>44354230
>You'd think it would last somewhere in those two.
Agreed. If memory serves /fit/sig is not considered on-topic enough so it gets moved to /adv/, where it dies from a lack of traffic. When I created this general 3+ years ago I spent like an afternoon what to put into the OP, and what you see has remained largely unchanged since. I don't think, had I not given a mission statement and a justification for why I put the general where I put it, that this general would have necessarily been accepted by the staff. I am not sure if that actually worked but we have always been accepted here at least.
The other thing is that we are somewhat coordinated, there are people keeping the thread alive and I serve as a kind of catch-all permanent denizen that tries to help as many people as I can. It's a lot of work, and I know the general has been suffering a bit due to my continued absence but the past few years also have been kinda rough on my end.
>>44353188
Oh Anon, I know I am not too talkative as of recent but I do not think ill of you. It's a difficult thing, maintaining relationships, and I think you reached out to me for advice on it. We can discuss it more if you wanna.
>>44354459
Well, the first question is what could possibly motivate these thoughts. Are you generally lonely/isolated perhaps? Could it be unmet sexual or emotional needs?
>>44355148
>The drawing will be a bit slower because I’m building a new routine there.
Ahh, I get it, I didn't catch that you wanted to draw, too!
>It’s a process of trial and error, you know?
Absolutely.
>>44356391
Hope it went well, Anon!

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>>44358437
>ADHD, anxiety, depression
Ah hell. One thing I could suggest you look into is weighted blankets, I know it helped several people with anxiety before, it might aid you too!
Building habits with ADHD seems to always be a major roadblock, and while we do have ADHD resources to aid that I must admit I never read them myself for a lack of time, I hope to make some time for it next year though.
>>44359411
I've never been a fan of them conceptually either, I think there is a lot of friction in the process compared to old fashioned ways of getting acquainted to people through mutual friends/acquaintances.
>>44363093
Well done doing the laundry, Anon! Had to do it myself too today.
>how do you all deal with the fact that it feels easier to not do anything for yourself and rot away?
Personally I find that on hard days one of the things that seem to help the most is automatism/habit. Things that make you go out of bed without thinking and compel you to do something, ideally pushing you towards something you can appreciate. The more things you can integrate into your day to day you would miss having the easier it gets, in some ways at least. "Hey this is nice, I appreciate having that" can be a powerful thought process.
>>44367057
Oh, looks like you made even more progress since we last talked, congrats! How are you doing besides, emotionally and such everything alright?
>>44368679
Oh, why's that Anon?~

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>>44366208
>>44366220
>>44366225
Welcome back Anon! I don't mind late replies at all. You're the Anon who was getting a bit overwhelmed by all the ideas you're coming up with besides your main project, right? It's been a while but I faintly remember as much!
>The thing with my room is it’s usually dirty is because I stockpile things
You mentioned dishes and the like, do you live in a flat share of some sort, or with family perhaps? I wonder why you keep the dishes in your room specifically! Perhaps you should get a plastic container for them so their dirt is contained to an easily cleaned containment zone.
>the smell lingers on my sheets when i do it.
Stupid question perhaps but do any fluids get on the sheets? If so maybe it would pay off to have a towel by the bed so you don't have to wash your sheets every few days (depending on how often you masturbate of course)
>There is a lot of just stuff on the ground that are just there and I have to clean my closet but I’ve been planning on it since
You might wanna look into "doom piling", it's a keyword for this kinda behavior and there are several ADHD friendly ways to deal with it. HowToADHD and Clutterbug (iirc) have videos on ADHD friendly organizing as well I believe.
>I have earbuds now so I don’t feel so weird because I think I get overstimulated without them.
Oh that's good news! Remind me, did we talk about conditions you (might) have and diagnosis plans if needed?
Also, perhaps get a yoga mat for exercising!
>I haven’t got around to that yearbook
>but I have earphones so I think I can do it bit by bit.
That's good progress in its own right, proud of you, Anon!
>I think he said that I was disgusting.
>still unsure if he even knew or said that about me.
Overhearing such things can be quite haunting especially without the certainty whether what was said was actually directed at us, as awkward as it can be I hope you can clear things up in the future, for closure's sake.
(1/2)

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>>44366208
>>44366220
>>44366225
(2/2)
>I know it sounds ridiculous but that’s what my head keep thinking that he was trying to do that to me.
You're not the only Anon I know who has gone through things like this, having conditions that fuck with our perception of reality are not something that one can just argue their way out of. There is no need to feel ashamed for this, it's not like you chose to experience such a barrage of thoughts.
>I wanted it to be more I know he liked me and I liked him, but I didn’t want that to be us.
Hey, it is awfully difficult to see parents navigate a strained relationship at the best of times, you had additional baggage to deal with. Don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you didn't have many people to ask for advice at the time either.
>because I forgot to put no +18 material on reddit I am not kidding.
I understand, there is no shame in admitting you have a problem keeping those things in check, you had essentially a relapse because of an oversight. It happens, Anon. I am glad your sister's company is helping! I wish you all the best for your efforts to get your driver's license.
Glad to hear you got this much into precure it's great you have things that inspire you like that. It's good for the soul.
As for getting too easily attached to people, this will get easier the more your social needs are met, generally speaking. If you only have one or two people to talk to at most and feel quite lonely then crushes form more quickly. If you are generally emotionally satisfied you will find it easier to pursue crushes without a crushing need to any% into a relationship.

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>>44366343
Heya bunon! Still catching up but to reply to this first.
>My mother and father plan to put our house on the market in 2028.
Oh Christ, at least something resembling concrete info.
>He's been a pig for years, and now he has lost my sympathy.
>I can't let this weigh me down, there's too much at stake get stuck in my head.
I don't wanna armchair diagnose but your father is a delusional, under-medicated paranoiac and that has been self-evident for a long while now from the glimpses I have gathered talking to you. I am sorry for you and your family to have to deal with his volatile bs.
>I know, that's why I can't confirm anything since he's so tight-lipped.
I am afraid he is full of shit. What you should do is talk to your consulate in Australia and ask them for where to find real, credible info. HIS status matters because it can affect YOUR status, after all. If he is a legal citizen then you should gain advantages from that that depend on the jurisdiction of the host country.
>>44368854
>In addition, I've been trying to get some legal advice from a friend in the police.
Definitely curious how that turns out, I didn't catch up with the thread yet but the therapist ghosted you?
>Last Tuesday it got so bad he gave me his favorite line 'Don't lie to me' after I told him exactly what we we're doing with the money in the shared bank account.
Which is absolute insanity in it's own right.
>>44370664
Hm, if you have a habit of overexerting yourself you might wanna try training machines at the gym, at least if your local gym has helpful trainers employed. These things tend to be rigged in such a way that it is more difficult to overdo it (unless you crank up the weights too quickly). Would that be a realistic option? Also, what is your current/target BMI?

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>>44375966
Like I said in >>44416438, I did put in a fair bit of effort into this general from the get-go, which I think is one of the reasons for its longevity. I have no explanation for why /adv/sig is dying so much other than nobody at the helm being invested enough to keep the thread going in perpetuity though. In a sense the whole board can be used the self improvement in the sense that any one question here could spawn a thread there but I do think a bit of the sense of community is lost that way.
>/fitlit/
oh I recall that, it was an april fool's event if memory serves.
>>44382917
There are several things to bear in mind there, the first being the weening off. There is the psychological aspect to it, I can give you a few pointers to it, I can also share some musings of an Anon that once shared their quitting alcohol journey here. But before any of that I need to ask if you know whether you are at risk of things like Delirium tremens. Because you don't wanna accidentally kill yourself by weening off abruptly, and if there is a risk of that sort I would ask whether you wanna do it on your own, or whether you wanna get medical help or some support from friends and loved ones?

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There is a set of replies I am still working on, but I can tell I am too tired to focus properly, so I will take a break for tonight for all our sakes. Hope to get more done tomorrow!

>>44416688
Thank you for all of your hard work.

I hope you get some good rest, wishing you the very best :)

>>44416521
>Definitely curious how that turns out, I didn't catch up with the thread yet but the therapist ghosted you?
They claimed the appointment was never confirmed: even though me and my mother did so a week ago.

Now my mother is scrambling to find me someone, otherwise I'll have to go without a session before I leave.

Very few people follow up with me these days, unfortunately.

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>>44416438
Yeah, I’m drawing comics. I guess I’ve gotten shy talking about that because I’ve gotten terrible at finishing them. I’m trying to change that.

Today I did three 25-minute sessions of finishing a comic on my PC with a drawing tablet. I’m going to try to keep drawing that way, the Pomodoro technique. I’m glad I switched to a PC from an iPad.

I’m also back to reading my comic book hoard. Yesterday I finished the first volume of Billy Bat by Naoki Urasawa, which was very good.

One other new thing I’m trying is taking a ten minute walk after each meal. It’s supposed to be good for your metabolism and digestion.

I made some Spam and egg fried rice last night. The next thing I want to try cooking is a Korean recipe for tuna salad I found.