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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct afaik.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

Welcome back, everybody.

i'm looking for a friend who is striving to make their own life and/or those of others better at any cost.
my discord is ambrosiawarmth -- come say hi

>>44488475
yay, new /sig/! ^_^ love u guys

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>>44488475
nobody taught me how to use emacs :(

bump, more tomorrow

>>44472222
>worth trying to get help
Yeah, but it's all just so many things to take into account and deal with. Gets me overwhelmed.
My hope is that things at least start getting a bit better (and maybe lastingly improve) when I get on meds.
Insurance is independent of work here.
>expand upon not really wanting to involve friends
In general, I don't like asking for help with things, even in a professional context.
Other people have their own problems, their own lives, so I don't want to "force" others to do something for someone like me. Someone who has difficulty replying to simple texts by people that apparently are my friends within a month.
Further, the really deep conversations are almost exclusively reserved for the anonymity of this site.
As for my family, they don't know anything about what's on my mind. They didn't care when I was just a kid, so any interaction with them just feels hypocritical or like an act.
>sh
Any sh behavior is bad and has some root cause, yeah, but until now, I haven't been able to identify any specific thing that makes me have that behavior. Could be undiagnosed stuff, as I don't have any intention of punishment. It's just a very strong burst of... rage? Desperation? I can't really pinpoint it... and I may lose control for a split second.
>food
It's not just being low energy and not having time, sadly. I live in a shared flat (have been for over ten years, never had my own place) and by now I absolutely loathe running into others when I can't really stand it at the moment.
But food is so expensive now too, so there's even less incentive to cook.
Perhaps if I lived alone, I would cook more and spend less time just sitting in front of my computer when at home but that's not really affordable right now and I'd have to clean up the absolute mess that is my room and do a bunch of other shit.

Over all, trying to fix my life seems like a huge clusterfuck puzzle of circular dependencies and I'm not able to solve it.

>>44488482
I joined the server they're not approving my admission

>>44492725
>>44488475
and the
>GOTT
Leadership in leaders. Good leaders are very very rare and most (middle) managers suck at leadership.
The way it manifests is when a good leader understands and brings out the best in their subordinates, knows how to use them to their full potential and makes them able to overcome the toughest challenges for the good of the group/team/etc., while handing out appropriate punishment or reward.
And holy shit does my bussy get wet for good leaders. (ot: MLW could park my ass on a mountain top all day and I'd happily crawl 2 km back to main, wagging my imaginary tail all the while, just to hear a "good boy" for hitting my shots.)

Leaders lead by example, but even when I'm absolutely not a leader in any way, I can be a good example to other people in how I treat other people.

pg7

I miss when things were fun.

Good night

>>44495263
Rest well.

I posted this in ventgen but it probably works well here too as, really I don't like it, I want to know how to fix it if anyone has any idea.
>>44494877
>>44494928
I want to know how to properly, see people.

>>44489991
and I love you, random Anon

pg8

so wait, is Helltaker our mascot?

>>44496736
To be more precise, it’s a character Siganon likes and attaches pictures of to most of his posts, but I’d say that’s plenty to make the character /sig/nificant to the thread overall

>>44472363
>So much on your plate..I wish both of you well
Thank you very much, Siganon.
I appreciate it a lot :)

At least my mother has her living rights sorted out as far as I know.
And she says she's working on a way to make money.

That's our two main goals: a stable place to live and income that doesn't come from my father.
Now, I need to get myself a good online job so I can start stacking cash and making plans.

>Sounds like a smart move
Yes, it is a very sound way to ensure that travel and opportunities will come easier.
Unfortunately, it relys on my father's help.

>With him? Yeah I get it
Hard to say.
But they are more aware of our father's many dimensions now, so I don't buy that they would want to stay with our dad, especially where he has to live.

>Or.. in general?
Also hard to say, I should probably ask them at some point.
They have a place they want to go to with their partner but no clear plan yet.

>Hahaha...that unlocked core memories
Sorry you had to deal with that, Siganon.
It's awful.

>Fuck family drama
Agreed.
Literally the most obnoxious thing to let your life be governed by.
Not that I have a choice in my external stressers.

>>44494926
Me too.

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Another life update and replies coming as soon as I can.

>>44495475
this genuinely sounds like autsim to me

>>44488948
Good to be back.

>>44497763
>That is worrisome
Incredibly so, I will explain more after some sleep.

>>44498810
that's it? no surely there's more to it right? I was told so many times I'm high functioning, that it doesn't impact me that badly. I don't want to believe my biggest flaw connecting with people is just some uncurable defect. Please god.

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>>44499866
Your problem is that you’ve been getting bad advice about autism from people who aren’t autistic.

It’s a lot easier to live your best life as an autistic person if you put time into understanding what it means to be autistic in general and in your particular case. You’re better off being mindful of your differences, your strengths, and actively managing your limitations.

Pretending not to be autistic is going to burn you out sooner or later, and sometimes it’s better to be honest than act the way you think you’re supposed to. You have actual emotions, and holding them in all the time is bad for you. It also keeps you from connecting with people more authentically and only building phony relationships where you go through the motions is also bad for your mental health. It’s like paying with exact change in Monopoly money. Going through the motions can’t meet your actual needs.

You don’t have to tell everybody you’re autistic, but you definitely need to accept that you are, and understand that it’s not being some kind of feral idiot. It’s just being mindful of how you think, and trying to actually understand things instead of just pretending you do, or hating yourself and feeling stupid for learning differently.

Imagine you were driving a car and couldn’t tell when a traffic light was red, green or yellow. It wouldn’t help to just guess and say, “I’ve got to keep trying! This is the only way I’ll learn!”

>>44500181
I don't really understand how to not get caught up in pretending I know, it feels better to delude myself into thinking I can help at all, I'm so tired of being unable to help anyone with this stuff. Its killing me
In general, I don't really get this message, so what do I do then? Just somehow drop all my mental barriers at once to "stop pretending" when I don't even know the first step to accomplish that?

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I definitely won't manage to catch up today. But I will make 6 posts worth of progress.
Almost caught up with last thread then at least.. almost.
>>44470112
>She said that 'disability pension' could be on the table, to support me until I can manage a career for myself in Australia.
Fingers crossed, bun!
>I'm worried that getting labled, will make it so that my word counts for less in a courtroom now.
Hm, I am not a lawyer, but I would not expect someone as seemingly impulsive and short sighted as him to plan something so elaborate.
>I have to get independent, fast.
I understand the level of urgency you feel, but in spite of what I said I strongly urge you not to rush things, either. Stressing yourself now for something that will take months (because it has to) is not good for you.
>>44470333
>i love you
You're sweet, Anon.. is there anything I can help you with? What's on your mind?
>>44471262
>I feel gross.
Is it the weather or something more general?
>>44492738
>I joined the server they're not approving my admission
Oh? I am not active over there but I absolutely can talk to people there and see what's up, if you would like me to. You don't have to drop your name ITT but if you remember the time and day you joined I can pinpoint who you are on the other side.

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>>44475144
../.----./-- ..../.-/.--./.--./-.-- -/--- ...././.-../.--. ../-. .-/-./-.-- .--/.-/-.-- .. -.-./.-/-./--..-- .. .-../../-.-/. -/--- -/..../../-./-.- ---/..-. ../- .-/... --./../...-/../-./--. -.../.-/-.-./-.- -/--- .- .--./.-../.-/-.-./. -/..../.-/- -.../.-./---/..-/--./..../- --/. .- .-../---/- ---/..-. ..../.-/.--./.--./../-././.../... ---/...-/./.-. -/..../. -.--/./.-/.-./.../.-.-.-/.-.-.- ..
-..././.-../.././...-/. -/..../. .-../.-/.../- -/../--/. .. ..../.-/...-/. .../././-. .../---/--/./---/-./. ..-/.../. --/---/.-./.../. ../-/- ../... .- ...-/./.-./-.--/--..-- ...-/./.-./-.-- .-../---/-./--. -/../--/. .-/--./---/.-.-.- ..../.-/...-/. .--/. --/./- -..././..-./---/.-././..--.. .. ..../---/.--./. -.--/---/..- .-/.-./. -../---/../-./--. .--/./.-../.-.. -.--/---/..-/.-./..././.-../..-./--..-- .-././--/./--/-..././.-. .. .-/-- --./.-../.-/-.. -/--- .--./..-/- .../---/--/. ---/..-. --/-.-- ./..-./..-./---/.-./- ../-./-/--- -.--/---/..- .-/... .--/./.-../.-..!
>>44475400
>As much as I hate to admit it, the whole manmode/boymode/not socially transitioning thing is now really getting to me.
No wonder, it definitely fucks with your self perception
>I can't see visible swelling but imo it doesn't look aggressive enough currently
Out of curiosity since I don't have a mental image of it, how much of your face needs to heal up after the treatment? Like, there must have been incisions etc.. maybe I should look at examples online to have a better mental image.
>I'm just letting the idk, BDDemons out a bit too much.
I am glad you speak your mind like that so openly with us, it might do you incredibly well to have people to talk to about this irl too, who can actually look at you from all angles and give you an honest take from someone that you trust.
>Bleh, rambling at 1:30am because I'm trying to keep my head in check
And as you know, I do not mind at all.

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>>44473658
>Thanks for replying!
A pleasure, I try to respond to as many people as I can.
>I'm around my mid 20s.
The good news is I had peers and colleagues that were anywhere from 30-40, while it isn't a large chunk of students at least at the faculties I have seen they haven't been particularly isolated.
>I'm living on campus because the rent situation in the area is dire so I figure I should try to connect with people there?
Absolutely, and it shouldn't be creepy at all. People from different years should talk to each other a fair bit too for a variety of reasons in a uni setting, for example I had some courses as a Master student from the Ba pool of another faculty, and we had large events where the whole faculty came together. I noticed that the latter is not a universal thing, academia seems less gregarious in the US compared to southern and central Europe, at least.
>So I'd like to think I do a good job at making people feel less lonely.
Perfect! It is extremely valuable to make and maintain friendships at that stage of your life, any person that actually is as picky as you fear (worrying about age gaps between grown ass adults) will come to regret it later in life. You have a mind, you have a perspective, you are there to learn and experience and grow, you can bring valuable things to the table, I am sure of it. And I hope getting to know more people (even if some may reject you) will teach you that. Feeling it and hearing it are not the same after all.
>>44477756
I am sure your wife doesn't think you are wretched at the very least! My love always corrects me when I speak ill of myself, it helps a lot actually.
>>44477918
>Thank you Siganon.
Always.
>>44480234
>I don't wanna live like this anymore.
What set of circumstances are you dealing with, Anon?

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>>44477926
>Anyone LGBT in the military?
Hm, the closest we have to someone like that is Navy, who is a regular here.
>So what do I do, just go with poli sci and hopefully get lucky?
Hm, if they explicitly look for STEM people that might backfire..
>Also is anyone here /fit/?
A couple of people I'd say, we have the occasional regular posting physique updates, but it's not every thread. Still, people do cheer you on when you post things like progress charts and such.
>My run times are going down but I wonder if it’ll be enough.
>Other than that just trying to read more and get decent enough grades.
Wishing you all the best on those fronts, by the way!
>>44478969
>This is the video I got this recipe from, I think I’ve posted it before:
Ohh, that "sando" style of sandwich, right, I think you have!
I'd really like to make a tuna steak sorta sandwich sometime. If you like toasted sandwiches you might also like croque monsieur though. It is a ham and cheese sandwich which is topped with a bechamel or mornay sauce and gratinated with more cheese. More of a knife and fork ordeal though, as a consequence, so it almost isn't a sandwich.
>>44478999
>>44479387
>How does one even find the will to get better? I feel like I've utterly fucked up my life to the point where it's all pointless.
>I'm just so sick of everything and now my uncontrolled alcoholism has led to me being broke and stuck in withdrawal.
Depending on how bad your withdrawal is make sure to call emergency services, DT is life threatening. I am sure you had your reasons to turn to booze, it is a difficult situation to get out of, and I don't know if you have the time or energy right now to talk about it in detail, I 100% understand if you are right now more concerned with survival. Still, wanna tell me more about your circumstances, maybe? Finding meaning/the will to get better is super personal a thing I find. You seem to feel stuck and hopeless, what kind of thoughts are those that sap you of will?

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>>44478371
>>44479368
>>44480049
>Can you explain a bit more, please?
Very situational, broad advice. But my main point perhaps is that in matters where you can't really get caught it is likely best to go with what he wants to hear (opinions, for example, just nodding along best you can). Try making him feel like you are "on his side" as much as circumstances allow without him spinning some great betrayal narrative at the smallest inconvenience. It's a tightrope and you shouldn't waste too much time thinking about this, it is more a matter of
>I still feel helpless in most social situations.
What aspect of them? Hm, well, autism diagnosis is a subject that came up earlier, did you ever look at the experiences of others on the spectrum?
>Yeah, that's hard to come by though.
It is. The question is if planning for others is something that comes naturally to you. If it is you could provide that for others, which is a very attractive trait. But if it costs you a lot of mental energy it would be unsustainable.
>You don't know how much this means to me.
I can't truly know yeah but I feel appreciated, know that much!
>senpai
oh god the word filter..
>This might explain why my self-esteem is so low
Being constantly scolded like a child even in adulthood does a number on one's self esteem. You are more capable than you think, bun.
>>44479006
>>44490344
>can you teach me emacs,,, ><
Hm, I'm afraid that would not be something I could easily do in this format, but what I always liked about Emacs is that it is very explorable and well documented. Is there a particular use case you are interested in?

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>>44481189
I get it, differences in socialization on top of a physical distance that is currently unfeasible to overcome, a match made in hell.
>I am the type of person who would take the logical choice to escape to a country that dignifies people like me.
Frankly a very natural decision to make yes, 100%. I get that people want to make their community better but, at the same time, for that to hold any value one needs to feel SOME sense of belonging. Not much room for solidarity if you are a foreigner in your own country.
>yeah I will review some of those later on, do you have books kinda resource?
Not for studying specifically, but I do have book about coping with ADHD in general, the adult adhd toolkit and how to keep house while drowning come to mind. While the shadow libs are currently largely offline the ISBNs and everything are in the resource paste bin above, so you can find them easily in one of your choosing (see https://open-slum.org/).
>to have labour appreciated, to have happiness more than a myth... to be able to wear clothes I want i wish I am so pissed off this
>it mostly happens when I don't use a container fast enough
Ah, I get that. Depending on the climate and the type of container bugs are a concern. Having some slightly pricier air-tight ones for stuff like rice and pasta pays off in the long run, and having them see through helps make sure there is nothing wrong with them.
>>44481296
Ah, that sort of situation. Difficult. Where are you at, transition wise? It sounds like you are unhappy with your circumstances and seeing people better off in aspects makes you miserable.

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Enough for tonight, I'm afraid.
>>44481750
>Last posted 3 months ago or something.
Welcome back! I am glad you reached an important milestone in your studies. Taking care of a family pet can be a small job in its own right and I hope you can get the independence you seek sooner rather than later. I understand how self neglect from being overwhelmed feels, and I am sorry there are little to no people you would feel safe being out to around you. You mentioned school but I assume the place you graduated wasn't the kind of friendly, gregarious and open minded academic circles I had the luxury of encountering. It's a tough position to be in, and it sucks that something as ultimately trifling as ones sexuality can cripple one socially.
>To all the other anons struggling, we will get through.
A sweet sentiment, and I hope you know I wish you nothing but the very best too!
>>44482568
Chronic conditions are something very emotionally and physically eroding to deal with
>how fucked up our college is I never got to teach as a Grad teacher
That is actually horrendous, not from an employment pov but because it's such a valuable experience. Sorry to hear your college is poorly managed like this, students cannot know these things in advance.
>I either have to basically restart Grad school somewhere else or suck it up and get my degree at my current college.
I think if you already are in grad school it might be best to just finish it.
>I'm just really lonely.
Keeping in touch with friends at that stage in life is goddamn hard. Do you know their schedules? Would they be willing to hang out more if someone in the group did the organizing, and would you have the energy for it?
>>44496736
Hm, I would say Helltaker is of significance to me personally, and I like to select images from a pool of themes I curate, Yume Nikki and moth girls are other such examples.

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>>44501033
.. .----. ...- . / .-.. ..- .-. -.- . -.. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / - .... . ... . / .--. .-.. .- -.-. . ... / ..-. --- .-. / .- / .-.. --- -. --. / - .. -- . / -... ..- - / .-- . / .... .- ...- . / -. --- - / -- . - / -... . ..-. --- .-. . --..-- / .. .----. -- / -.. --- .. -. --. / ..-. .. -. . --..-- / .. -. / ..-. .- -.-. - / .. .----. -- / ..-. .. .-.. .-.. . -.. / .-- .. - .... / .-.. --- ...- . .-.-.- / .- / --. .-. .- - .. - ..- -.. . / ... --- / -.. . . .--. / .. - / .... ..- .-. - ... .-.-.- / -.- . . .--. / -.. --- .. -. --. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. --. .- -. --- -. .-.-.-

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Goodnight.
>>44501069
>>44482568
Botched the reply, my bad.
Chronic conditions are something very emotionally and physically eroding to deal with, you are far from alone in this. We had several chronic illness people post here over the years and I hope you at the very least have people around you with kindness and understanding. It can be an alienating feeling at times from what I have seen.
>>44501110
../-. -/..../.-/- -.-./.-/.../. ../- ../... .- .--./.-.././.-/.../..-/.-./. -/--- --/././- -.--/---/..-/--..-- --/---/.-./.../. .-/-./---/-.! .. .--/../.-../.-.. -../--- --/-.-- -..././.../- -/--- -../--- .--/..../.-/- .. -.-./.-/-. ..-./---/.-. -.--/./.-/.-./... -/--- -.-./---/--/./--..-- -.--/---/..- ..../.-/...-/. --/-.-- .--/---/.-./-..!

I am a disgusting piece of shit I've been transitioning for 4 years and I still look like a man

I've been hangover from funny party pills that deplete neurotransmitters for 2 days I want to kill myself when does the hangover stop? I never did drugs before trooning out I'm retarded

>>44500998
What I’m describing to you is called “autistic unmasking,” and it is a process. It’s something you’d be learning about, practicing, that would lead to gradual lifestyle changes. It’s not something I’m expecting you to just start doing that can be done perfectly right away. I’m just saying look into this.

I felt a lot of what you’re feeling. Not wanting to be different, feeling helpless, broken. But I did get to a point where I felt capable and confident again.

One thing I recommend you do is find out if you’ve been diagnosed with autism. If you’ve been told you’re “high functioning,” it’s possible you were and your family just didn’t think it was a big deal.

If you haven’t, get evaluated for autism. An official diagnosis can make it easier for you to access resources, and it will help you understand your traits and needs in more detail.

I recommend the book Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, and the YouTube channel Sol Smith. He’s made a ton of videos explaining what I’m talking about in more.

Thanks for hearing me out, even if you didn’t entirely get it. I hope I could leave you with something constructive and actionable.

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>>44501042
I’ve heard of croque monsieur. Doesn’t sound bad. I might give it a try sometime. Today I made more tuna salad sandos. This time I buttered and fried both sides of the toast. I’m still perfecting my fried buttered toast, but I’m making progress. I love the way that when you’re cooking, you can keep learning how to do simple things better.

My next cooking project is going to be making pizza, using this video:

https://youtu.be/S382FeuCimE?si=qT2-i3zR6NCj995y

I just bought a kind of pan he recommends.

I’m still working on making comics. Today I’ve been writing a new script for an old story idea.

And I brushed my red and black wig some today.

>>44501494
I guess I don't have much of a choice but to research this... Thanks. I'm really scared though, I've been bashing my head into a wall metaphorically over just how I don't... Get people for so long. I really hope it isn't just, fucked.

Anyone got experience strength training on E having never lifted before? I'd like to get stronger and ideally get some visible muscles but I know I'm obviously at a disadvantage


Also i assume there's no way to juice without remasculinising

I wonder if everyone is this scared of life.

I’m finally going to turn over a new leaf and fix all my problems starting tomorrow :^)

>>44502801
sweet

>>44502290
Sorta but steroids always been an anabolic/androgenic ratio dance. There are options for women but of course when you try to avoid androgenic effects, you kinda restrict your options. The options still quite a lot compared to natty though.
https://reddit.com/r/steroids/wiki/women
https://reddit.com/r/steroidsxx

pg7

Good night

>>44497763
>>44472363
>That's a shame, mostly because of the ridiculous time pressure
Yes, its a ton of pressure.

If I take too long to decide, I will have to go with my dad to that small town, and then give him three months to prove that things will be different for me and him.

I have been feeding my family information about where I am and where I will be for most of the week, I will make sure to communicate more this time.
I will make sure they have all the necessary addresses and points of contact. The will know where to find me easily.

If it's not better this time, then I will organize with my mother and grandfather on a date and time for me to be sent home.
I'm using three months because of my dad's rough work schedule.

>You don't have to make up your mind, honestly
I don't think I can.

>The day will come where it simply won't matter, and you have so much emotionally draining shit on your plate there is no need to fuss about having a clear cut picture of him you can express in simple terms
For the time being, I will be weary of him for the most part and try to co-habitate.

He does want me to succeed in life and make money, so I will use that as a buffer for our relationship.

>To belong, right?
That as well, I feel very much out of place here despite how nice people are.

But honestly, I miss my family so very much.
It's painful to be away like this. AGAIN.

>>44501048
>Very situational, broad advice
>But my main point perhaps is that in matters where you can't really get caught it is likely best to go with what he wants to hear (opinions, for example, just nodding along best you can)
Okay, that makes sense.

I did that for the most part back in 2025 so that should be practical enough to do.

>Try making him feel like you are "on his side" as much as circumstances allow without him spinning some great betrayal narrative at the smallest inconvenience
Okay, I can try to appease him for the most part.
He's already 'won' pretty much but I will do my best to not antagonize him further.

I really hope he's being honest when he says he wants to 'be a better father' to me
But if that's not the case then I'll just leave Australia for a second time.
Maybe I can join my sibling over abroad instead, after I am done researching that country.

>It's a tightrope and you shouldn't waste too much time thinking about this, it is more a matter of
More a matter of?

pg6

I don't want to do anything today!!!

>>44507427
Then rest, eat properly, get hydrated and get 8 hours of proper sleep.

pg7

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>>44502221
It’s not fucked. It’ll be much easier to actually connect and communicate with other people if you pay attention to how your mind actually works.

Also, it’s hard for all kinds of people to connect with other people for all kinds of reasons. Some of the most respected writers of the 20th century wrote about how hard and complicated it is to truly understand other people and be understood in turn. Pop musicians are still making music for normies about that struggle. And just because something is difficult or complicated doesn’t mean it can’t be done. People have accomplished all kinds of difficult, complicated stuff. Cathedrals, space travel, the very internet we’re currently using to communicate.

Don’t convince yourself that your problem is something that only autistic people could possibly have, or that you could never accomplish something difficult, or that you’d be happier giving up. Thug it out queen

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how come sig anon didnt tell me anal feels good... too bad its too icky

>>44508781
trolled

p8

>>44501055
>but I do have book about coping with ADHD in general
is it on the OP's pastebin? chances are I already glanced on it.
>Ah, I get that. Depending on the climate and the type of container bugs are a concern
no no no it's just I don't like see stuff go unused, it's a mental problem.
>Where are you at, transition wise? It sounds like you are unhappy with your circumstances and seeing people better off in aspects makes you miserable.
I might be longer on HRT than 90% of the board user yet I am still stuck at pretty much perma-manmoding and have done nothing but HRT and voice training, in fact someone made a DIY open-source galvanic electrolysis machine recently and I am pretty sure I probably will get that machine made first before I even get to present.
https://github.com/zoemaestra/hair-electrolysis-machine-usb-c

Hi, i'm new here. trying to get back on track after years of pure bedrot...
today, i took a shower, made a regular schedule, and listed down what i need/want to get done.
hoping that maybe by sharing this stuff, i wont fall back into rot as easily

>>44508613
I really like birds, I think what I want to accomplish is supporting them locally. Being a full fledged falconer for birds of prey would be a long time dream come true honestly

pg7

>>44508781
huh?

>>44513243
I like bottoming. but the part where you have to clean is gross!

I honestly dont think it’s worth trying to improve my life. My body is so unbelievably dogshit and I have nothing going for me. The only thing I need to improve at is extracting as much dopamine as I can from junk food, buying shit, and jerking off

>>44507427
I made so much soup

Good night

>>44513563
Night

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More replies and updates much later tonight, hopefully.

I hope you all are doing okay, wishing you all the best.

pg7

>>44488475
What do I do about my shitty selfconfidence?

>>44515276
where are you

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Got some posts queued up!
>>44482737
>>44482760
>>44482794
>>44482823
>>44482897
Welcome back, Anon! As always, thanks for sharing photos!
>Now that was written x month ago
Hm, I understand! I read all of it, thought about different elements a fair bit, ubt will try to keep it short since your life is currently occupied with other matters! I am very glad to hear you are enrolling and wish you nothing but the very best. One of the key points I was meaning to make is tied to
>All those people don't appreciate that sort of thing
you do need academically minded people. You say the math bores you, I get that, but I think you NEED to find people from an academic environment. Make the most of your time there.
>I hate the people.
I think rural areas and small town living would be the death of you, generally.
>i had some epiphanies which are helping me cope.
I hope to hear more about it sometime.
>so that great blogpost will be another month I suppose....
I look forward to it.
>BTW laundry detergent is embedding your clothes with microplastics in order to make the fragrances stick.
It is generally a good idea to get simple detergent and be mindful of what is in them. Most modern detergents have enzymes that are too aggressive for silk and the like, I hope to eventually have the time to look more into it, moving every few years doesn't leave much room to research these things properly.
>pounds upon pounds of chanterelles.
Ohh, lucky! They are amazing fresh, with butter.
>going back to the bay is the path to waging slaving.
I get it, the question also arises where you really wish to settle down. I don't think you want to live in the boonies, for cultural reasons alone.
>And my boyfriend isn't one of those people who see the beauty of the vision,
>It would probably be problematic if he could too.
In what way?
>normies ping each other with small talk and if I'm too autistic to pong back, it'll never go further than that.
Hm.. if you want we can talk about this sometime!

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>>44487838
>>44487887
>44497763
>She needs all the aid/help she can get.
>The quality of relationship material back home is garbage.
What an absolute shit show. I wish I had something productive to say but god.
>It's part of why I prefer to fly solo.
I don't blame ya, but hey if you find someone down under..? Would be a lucky break!
I hope you make it, I wish you all the best, bun.
>At least my mother has her living rights sorted out as far as I know.
>And she says she's working on a way to make money.
Good news, at least!
>Also hard to say, I should probably ask them at some point.
Probably for the best, just to avoid them agitating your dad and causing you trouble.
>Sorry you had to deal with that, Siganon.
It sucked, granted, but it does allow me to empathize quite easily on that front!
>>44488224
>damn, things sure are going
And at a breakneck pace I feel.
>>44499018
Seconded!
>>44502611
What is it specifically that scares you?

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>>44492725
>>44492909
>Yeah, but it's all just so many things to take into account and deal with.
>Gets me overwhelmed.
This is very NT advice for me to give but when I get overwhelmed like that I try to make a list of the things that need doing. It won't help directly, but with it I could try and help you disentangle things a little because the awful thing about it is that, when we try to keep it all in active memory, it is always everything at once. It is so much more freeing even for NTs to be able to "safely forget" the vast majority of medium term problems, in the sense that remembering is externalized.
>My hope is that things at least start getting a bit better (and maybe lastingly improve) when I get on meds.
>Insurance is independent of work here.
Thank fuck, that makes things much easier.
>In general, I don't like asking for help with things, even in a professional context.
>Someone who has difficulty replying to simple texts by people that apparently are my friends within a month.
On the one hand I absolutely get it, you don't wanna burden anybody. On the other, if you catch yourself thinking of these things too transactionally it is important to remind yourself that people also have the need to be needed! I am sure you also like to be there for people you care for to the extent you have the time and energy for. It is important the people themselves get a say in how much time they are willing to invest into you, doing too much preemptively for them can deprive them in the long run.
>Further, the really deep conversations are almost exclusively reserved for the anonymity of this site.
That is a shame, I would love for you to have people to confide in. Hell, some people I met on this site I now know IRL, and vice versa (some people I met irl lurked or posted on 4chan).
>family
I understand, not the supportive kind. Unfortunately the norm, and not just on this board.
(1/2)

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>>44492725
>>44492909
(2/2)
>It's just a very strong burst of... rage?
I know the term is usually used pejoratively on this site but it might be ADHD meltdowns. These things can happen from overstimulation and are basically a result from your brain soaking in stress hormones. In that case the issue is a lack of grounding and excessive stress, which seems to fit perfectly.
>It's not just being low energy and not having time, sadly.
I understand, you are generally overwhelmed and the stress of keeping up social
>But food is so expensive now too, so there's even less incentive to cook.
Meal prep usually is still very economical, but requires some initial investment. It would also mean you only have to dedicate yourself to the task of cooking in moderate "bursts", which to my understanding works well with ADHD in the sense that it is much much easier for you to do things "right now" when you think of them rather than to some planned schedule.
The question is if you have the fridge space for it, and would be fine eating the same meal 3-4 times..
As for cleaning, 90% of my chores are impulse driven which to my understanding is very adhd friendly, if you want I can tell you how I do it.
>Good leaders are very very rare and most (middle) managers suck at leadership.
I agree. Personally, I find one of the most valuable things in managers that is usually overlooked is .. delegation. So much business brained crap is about micro management and very obviously geared towards treating people under you as expendable, interchangeable automata with no capacity of independent judgment.
>I can be a good example to other people in how I treat other people.
A beautiful outlook, Anon! Yes, this is perfect.
>>44501204
I sadly can't help much on the hrt front but assuming you checked your levels, is it more physical aspects, I assume you still manmode because you fear getting clocked? What are the things that you would like to change about your looks?

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Alright, I need a break. Made good progress at least but still have a bit to go tomorrow..
>>44501659
>I love the way that when you’re cooking, you can keep learning how to do simple things better.
Agreed, to me it is a form of creative expression. Hope you post pics of your pizza once you made one you're happy with! I would like to make a pan pizza again, come to think of it..
>>44502290
Not personally but if it's about general strength training, afaik at least, you can basically work with cis f parameters and advice!
>>44502801
Wanna start with a list of things you would like to change, to make it less daunting?
>>44505411
>44505774
>He does want me to succeed in life and make money, so I will use that as a buffer for our relationship.
Good call.
>That as well, I feel very much out of place here despite how nice people are.
I hope you find your place sooner than you dare to hope, bun.
>I did that for the most part back in 2025 so that should be practical enough to do.
Then you are already well equipped.
>More a matter of?
Ah crap, that part got mangled, thanks for pointing it out! It's more a matter of remaining vigilant around him. With people like that it's sometimes easy to forget that they aren't .. for the lack of a better way to express it, people you can be yourself around. I have family members like that, myself. It is an ordeal, and for that something that fundamentally cannot be sustained in perpetuity.
>>44507427
>I don't want to do anything today!!!
Rest is an integral part of productivity. Of course, there is a difference between rest and rotting, and if you ever feel like you did the latter, we can try find ways to avoid it in the future.

i tried to do a workout today, and tried to voice train a few times
cant even do a single pushup.
no matter how many times i do the drills my voice just sounds the same.
i'll keep trying but it feels like im missing something everyone else has to start with

live
LOL
love

>>44517406
here

Good night

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>>44488475
It’s funny
I have completely given up on life
Im not in danger no
I just let things happen and play games
No talents
No gender(infertility is Poggers)
No career or future
No education or skills
Just as questionable fool all around
Avoiding pain by doing nothing
God I hate my self my body and my brain
Triple whammy
I’d be in vent thread but I just want someone to listen instead ya know?
I am just so tired. I should switch jobs again and honmode
Ok bye, here sexy robot
Ui wish I was less male

its crazy how easy it is to live a bad life

>>44522288
it sure is

I was playing LoL with a guy from my job and we were getting pegged by smurfs so when our team started a surrender I voted yes.
The vote was 4/1 and we lost, he voted no and got mad at me. I told him this is a videogame and I play to have fun, the game was not fun and nobody else wanted to play.
He actually got angry and said that if I wanted to play for fun I should play a different game.
I don't know man, he's emerald with that mindset and I'm diamond as a mostly rotating game modes player, but maybe he has a point.

I just so fucking tired of living like this.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Nothing I do changes anything.

pg6

>>44520569
lmao indeed

why is everything so shit all the time

bump

>>44526489
where are you

I have to put an end towards my constant consuption of sugary drinks and ready-to-eat foods but it is my way to cope with stress. Its bad for both my health and wallet
My trigger is when you commute then there's a bodega offering ready eat meals and then poof goes my money. I can cook but idk what to do with the drink part

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>>44488475
>cooked for myself
>baked a cake for my mom
>fixing up car
>worked out
>paid bills
>emptied whole medicine cabinet in my mouth to put me to sleep
>not tired & depressed
>complaining on 4chin
I hope you all win this week though

>>44527870
Try caffeine powders and healthy rated juices, then slowly put less and less caffeine powder in your juice.

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>what did you do for yourself this week
I asked around about keeping up the bird feed in my garden, I'm finally trying to get a doctor's appointment for my legs, finishing my autism assessment soon.
I found a course I want to enroll too one day, a level 3 in birds of prey studies
i want to do this, i want to so badly, i just need to now fix the issues plaguing me from being active in general irl. its a massive undertaking and will take a while, I know I'll fall back into bedrot despair sometimes, but I want to see my dreams of bonding with such majestic creatures of nature through

>>44528179
I hope it works out and your dreams come true. I really want to get into botany, ive had such an obsession with agriculture and pretty flowers growing up I would kill to have a career in it.

pg5

life is a mess

Good night

>>44529126
night

>>44524569
life is unfair?

I love twinks.

pg7

>>44488475
I just wish I had the balls to fucking **** myself.

After all the people in my life that make things so shit die from living, I just wanna hand over a fat pile a cash to the people I love, then I wanna go away.

Sweet, sweet fucking oblivion.

I really hope there isn't a Hell, or even a Heaven for that matter.

Being conscious gives me a headache.

p10!

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Updates tomorrow. Thank you for your patience!

for the first time since i started hrt, like 7 years ago, i went outside without a coat.
i've occasionally been read as female, but i nowhere near pass.
and it's weird, because nothing happened. i mean, no one laughed or stared. i didn't even feel very anxious about it.

>>44537285
congratulations

I got to be tuff, this world is so rough
I got to be tuff, got got got to be tuff

dad caught me before i could snip a tiny bit of my ballsack off to prove i am trans. now he is super mad and sad. i transheart doing this

>>44537962
this is not the first time I've done this either which is why he is concerned. i was too thats why i didnt do it before he caught me. going to a mental hospital is not fun and so is blood leaking everywhere. also rn i am 100% faketrans sinxe i did not do this

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>>44518426
hit me with your all, its better for me. comprehension is fast, composition less so.

pg7

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i hate feeling isolated and lonely but i cant be friends with any one...

Good night

Man, life is pretty exhausting.

>>44472211
>Do you have a pw manager?
Uh, sorta. I use the Google Password manager.

>I personally like KeePassXC
I see, I will see when I can download or otherwise set it up it up on both of my laptops.
I really should get a better laptop one day though.

>It allows you to store pw, username, notes, the URL(s) that are allowed to access that login information, and displays accounts with favicons
That sounds awesome.

>You can also sort them in folders and tag them independently. It also offers much better encryption than Firefox itself
Okay, that sounds like a godsend.
That would really simplify things for me.

>Glad you had some good news too though!
Yeah, small blessings and all that.

pg7

>>44488475
Mini update:
>Father's operation went okay, recovering for now then we leave next week Wednesday or Thursday or Friday...depends really
>My next health appointment is next week Monday
>Likely won't have any WiFi for three weeks while we are in that town settling in due to scheduling and recovery, that's what my father says
>I have decided to stay with my father for the next three months at least
>If I don't have a job or any prospects ready by then, I will simply ask my mother and grandfather to help me get home as soon as possible
>I am focusing on online work anyway

Also, unfortunately:
>My adopted sibling has been apparently 'working' with my dad
>They were feeding him Information while they were living back home in South Africa, likely false information so they could get money or support in return
>Seems like my dad has eyes and ears everywhere, again
It just never ends.
There's no point in making a relationship with him, he's not gonna change.

There's a lot more to be said an replied to thsi thread but I have to pace myself.

pg7

>>44539411
Why is that, Anon?

>>44542685
cuz people r evil duh and interacting with evil leads to you becoming a sinner

i miss having people to talk to, but i'm afraid i'm just not capable of that anymore. making any sort of connection always requires having other connections already, friends are no different. how can i make friends when everyone already has people they'd rather go to? i'll be alone forever no matter how much i try

>>44542766
being alone is good it spares you from exhaustion and scaredness

>>44542691
most are just meh, really

just try to find one or two that don't bother or threaten you for now

>>44543203
>for now

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Will reply more tomorrow, too tired.

Goodnight.

>>44543697
Sorry, that was me.
I gotta remember next time.

>>44543697
cutie patootie bunny!!! boogiest baba ever!!!!!! shhogiest shagga doogiest dagga bnuuuyyy

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>>44542685
I'm bad at coping with social anxiety of course and it just gets worse after every avoidant moment

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Just started working on /sig/. No promises how much I will manage today but let's see.
>>44508781
Well, as a top it's not something that comes to mind to me, kek
>too bad its too icky
Increase your dietary fiber. In a healthy, well-maintained gut biome stool doesn't linger past the sigmoid.
>>44511324
Oh, I didn't realize both of these were you!
>is it on the OP's pastebin? chances are I already glanced on it.
Yes, those exactly. Not quite what you were looking for, perhaps?
>no no no it's just I don't like see stuff go unused, it's a mental problem.
Ohh, I get it now, my bad.
>DIY open-source galvanic electrolysis
That's simultaneously very cool yet also worrying for safety reasons.
>>44511749
Welcome, Anon!
>Hi, i'm new here. trying to get back on track after years of pure bedrot...
>today, i took a shower, made a regular schedule, and listed down what i need/want to get done.
Very good start, and yes, feel free to use this thread for accountability. I tend to reply to people within a week, so whenever you make a post to commit to something, should I not overlook it for some reason, I will reply and check up on you.
>>44513476
>My body is so unbelievably dogshit and I have nothing going for me.
In what way, are you a tranner who doesn't believe they will pass or is it more about being attractive/fit/healthy?
>extracting as much dopamine as I can
Technically we can help with that in a way (for example avoiding depression which would be a massive debuff on any of those little joys).

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>>44516084
>What do I do about my shitty selfconfidence?
An excellent question with very long winded answers, but there is a very, very important hack that you will need to know as a base model of explanation for anything: mental pathways can be trained like muscles. In other words if you find yourself automatically dismissing praise or caught up repeatedly thinking about how you suck, these things become easier to fall into the more you do them. The opposite is true too, fortunately. The more you resist them, or divert them, the more naturally it comes to you to do that.
If you were raised in an environment where you were made to feel ashamed or incompetent you will have a garbo confidence from the get-go, and you will need to unlearn a lot of things. If there are concrete things that make you feel insecure, it would be a good call if we talked about them!
>>44519717
>i'll keep trying but it feels like im missing something everyone else has to start with
Unlikely but do you happen to have someone to voice train with?
>cant even do a single pushup.
Hm, what is the rest of your workout like?
>>44521933
>I’d be in vent thread but I just want someone to listen instead ya know?
I understand. It's fine, Anon.
>I am just so tired. I should switch jobs again and honmode
If I understand you correctly you are currently manmoding? That must be hell from what I gather.. it's no wonder you are so drained.
>>44522288
It is, often even through no fault of our own.
>>44522748
Eh, it's less a matter of right and wrong and more a matter of compatibility between people, it's likely best to play other things with him if these kinda things are sacred to him. I think it's nice you spent time with him, do you enjoy his company or was it social obligation?

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>>44524569
Wanna talk about it, Anon?
>>44527870
Hm, stupid question but do you pay with card or cash? If you could make it a habit to pay at that place in cash you could keep a weekly/monthly budget in your wallet for it. Other than that, I assume you eat because you are hungry on your way to or from work. Meal prep would help in that case.
>>44528124
Well done overall, Anon! My week is going alright after the mess that was the last. Bit worried about the pills thing you mentioned though, I assume you were exaggerating?
>>44528179
>I'm finally trying to get a doctor's appointment for my legs, finishing my autism assessment soon.
Glad to hear, wishing you all the best!
>its a massive undertaking and will take a while, I know I'll fall back into bedrot despair sometimes, but I want to see my dreams of bonding with such majestic creatures of nature through
You are clawing your way out of a pit, by the looks of it. I don't know your exact circumstances but I hope you know I (and surely many other anons reading along) am rooting for you.
>>44532590
>After all the people in my life that make things so shit die from living, I just wanna hand over a fat pile a cash to the people I love, then I wanna go away.
It sounds like you have more or less given up on escaping a shit set of circumstances, but have people you deeply care for. Wanna tell me about them? A little about your own circumstances too, maybe?

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>>44528256
That sounds really cool too, Anon! I like the genetics autism aspect of it, but also very much appreciate just the sheer diversity of plants.
>>44537285
>for the first time since i started hrt, like 7 years ago, i went outside without a coat.
>i've occasionally been read as female, but i nowhere near pass.
>and it's weird, because nothing happened. i mean, no one laughed or stared. i didn't even feel very anxious about it.
>>44537962
What makes you compelled to try and prove it?
>>44538257
Well, how do you generally feel about small talk, does it exhaust you? Is it something else that makes it difficult? You say you're too autistic but I would love to hear your own internal reasoning.
>>44539963
Oh right the thing is that I have not much experience syncing it but most cloud based pw managers (lastpass and the like) have occasional data breaches because it's not exactly securely done. KPXC is just a single file you can copy over from one machine to another if you don't wanna rely on anything else.
>Okay, that sounds like a godsend.
Might be very useful keeping things away from snooping relatives, too.

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That's it for today.
>>44540696
>Likely won't have any WiFi for three weeks while we are in that town settling in due to scheduling and recovery, that's what my father says
I hope you have decent enough mobile data or enough media to keep you sane bun.. if you are suddenly AWOL I know why, thanks for the heads up.
>likely false information so they could get money or support in return
>It just never ends.
Fucking ew.
>There's no point in making a relationship with him, he's not gonna change.
Nope but you can squeeze him for what it is worth in your own right. Fuck him.
>>44542766
>how can i make friends when everyone already has people they'd rather go to? i'll be alone forever no matter how much i try
The moment people reach 30 a lot of people are very interested in not dying alone, and all their friends are busy or moved or estranged. Trust me there are countless people to whom you'd be a godsend.
>>44544223
>I'm bad at coping with social anxiety of course and it just gets worse after every avoidant moment
A vicious cycle sort of situation. Do you often fear that people you haven't talked to in a while want nothing to do with you anymore?

Where is the best place to move on the west coast for a 6ft tall perma manmoder ogre? I want to set a goal for myself to move out within two years

I bring home around 4k a month after taxes

pg9

dont stop believing

>>44536894
Thank you for all the effort.

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Hi /sig/, Panty here. Today I made more tuna salad and roasted some bell peppers and zucchini for a stir fry with tofu and a spicy mango sauce. I still get this satisfaction from going to the grocery store filling my cart with fresh produce, knowing I’m actually going to cook it and eat it.

The exercise routine I’ve been doing is starting to get easier. I’m sweating a lot less, and I’ll be ready to do something more intense soon.

I’m just out here still chipping away at my goals — working on art projects I want to finish, reading the books I want to read, decluttering my space. It feels good.

pg8

>>44548192
Looks nice.

Good night
I'm such a reader

>>44549745
That's a good quality to have.

>>44545663
>That's it for today.
you did a good job anone

>>44545663
Thank you again for all of your effort.

We truly appreciate what you do.

pg8

>>44543705
indeed

>>44545526
lol why'd you quote me

>>44518436
>>44518440
Gimme a bit more time for a proper reply. I couldn't formulate more than two sentences, because I've been feeling like absolute shit these past few days and might have some (more, how can there be even more ;_;) medical issues brewing.

p8

>>44554805
wher are you

>>44556362
right there

>>44544223
>>44544934
>Oh, I didn't realize both of these were you!
Which ones?
>>44544934
>>is it on the OP's pastebin? chances are I already glanced on it.
>Yes, those exactly. Not quite what you were looking for, perhaps?
not that problem exactly, I have glanced on it but havent put the time to consume it
>>44544934
>>DIY open-source galvanic electrolysis
>That's simultaneously very cool yet also worrying for safety reasons.
I have been HRTrepping for too long to see people attempting stupid shit.>>44545324
>Hm, stupid question but do you pay with card or cash?
I pay with cash every time
>If you could make it a habit to pay at that place in cash you could keep a weekly/monthly budget in your wallet for it.
desu I usually set a budget of $x and just blow twice or triple of it to stress cope.
I dont think i would do fare well if I were addicted to menthol cigarettes or vapes, those things are pure evil incarnate, but thats because I crave strong tastes, thats why I am addicted to very sweet energy drinks.
>Other than that, I assume you eat because you are hungry on your way to or from work. Meal prep would help in that case
I can meal prep but IDK what to do with water/drinks.
Also if you know how to flavor oatmeals to taste very savory/umami please do, recently i got a big bottle of Chinese black vinegar and I almost gave myself a heartburn because that bottle is gone under a week because I keep sipping outta it because of the addictive sour/umami punch.
WHEN i was small I kept stealing bits of MSG powder

>>44557694
Oh god I relapsed again literally 5 seconds after I downed a can of energy drink I cannot remember the taste of the actual reason why I spent money to buy that
Fuck my addict mindset
I THINK If i live in utah I will fall dead by 35 out of Type 2 diabetes because Utah's Dirty/Mormon/Swig soda epidemic

>>44548192
cool

gay

Good night

i got a LOT on my mind today

>>44561099
me too

who's looking forward to anything anymore?

>>44562413
The only thing(s) I really look forward to is not having to suffer anymore.
And my weekly dose of E.

>>44540696
>My adopted sibling has been apparently 'working' with my dad

On top of all of that, it turns out they managed to get my father to house them with his own family now.

This was after they had a mental fit and HURT my mother and my sibling.
My sibling has bruises across the chest, my mother is dealing with 'stroke-like' symptoms.
Disgusting fucking behavior from them, I am not going to forgive this ever.

Updates and replies will come tomorrow hopefully.

I hope you all are doing okay.

Goodnight.

>>44545173
It’s not just the manmoding that kills Me it’s everything else too
Being closeted sucks
No progress in my transition for over a year. I just keep depressing myself and then morning comes and have to redo it all over again
I forget to take showers
I forget my medication
I tried all the tricks, reminders, using someone else to remind me it’s just…Im either a very high maintenance person or just someone who never changes. In. A different moided I’d be a perma neet on neetbux rn. But that isnt my life
Ah well complained enough. Just need to do things right? Wish it was as easy.
Stay safe folks

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Trying to calm down for bed, too much on my mind.

I need to get my shit together by the end of August and make a plan to get us out of this nightmare of a life.

I can't spend another year living like a bum.
I fucking refuse.

>>44544223
Jesus, same.

>>44545663
>Do you often fear that people you haven't talked to in a while want nothing to do with you anymore?
yes and its impossible for me to get close to new people hehe

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^_^ I got my HRT prescription through today, so I can finally go back to messing around with the Army.
>>44501033
>how much of your face needs to heal up after the treatment?
It depends person to person a bit, but honestly it's mostly swelling. I recovered very quickly, which worries me because (even though it's not really how things work) it makes me think the work done wasn't as aggressive as I wanted. Tracheal shave scar (small incision in the neck) and frontoplasty scar (which is basically ear to ear along the hairline) are the only ones that are really visible (I have a rhino scar as well, but that's pretty much gone now, beyond a bit of redness). The other thing is you tend to get numbness in the face from loss of nerve endings (which may or may not regrow) so like I bumped my head at work yesterday and didn't get any pain which is ~interesting~.
>it might do you incredibly well to have people to talk to about this irl too
Its kind of difficult; the work NB described my results as "subtle but effective" which is hard for me to gauge but other coworkers as best as I can tell haven't even noticed a difference, my laser tech said she could tell I looked different but didn't clock I was trans until I kinda told her because I couldn't be bothered to make up a reason for why I had my trach shaved.
>>44477926
I don't know anything about the US joining process (or the culture, really), but in the UK case, next to no one would care if you were bisexual, like I am openly bi (not ~that~ openly trans ), and it's easier to just own it.
I'm not crazy fit, but I can run a 21:30 3-mile, sub-13 2-mile, etc.; did the whole messing around with the Royal Marines bit, so my phys isn't dire. In the UK at least the officer route on entry is a weird one, I've been asked if I wanted to do it with both the Marines and Army, but I turned them down both times. Most people I've met who tried/were trying to go that route were politics/international relations/etc types

palms are sweaty

p7

pg7

>>44343323
thanks for the input and sorry for the slow reply!! i took some time to actively talk to my friends about it and turns out it's exactly what you predicted. the only reason they joke about me being queer is because i have a couple "non cis straight male" hobbies. but they don't mean it fr, it's just a meme.
thank you for the help <3

goodluck

trying to improve myself and i think i just made shif worse or at least harder for myself for now

im an idiot, i took like 225mg estrodiol injection, 200mg prog anal, 100mg prog oral, and 30mg pio

im in insanely intense pain. i thought it would help somehow to increase it all after how much growth pain id had lately, but all it did was make me extremely sleepy and insanely hungry. ive had roughly 6,000-7,000 kcal today thanks to olive oil and high kcal dense foods.

i think its helping but god this feels agonizing. im just torturing my body to achieve what puberty failed to on its own and no one around me can understand or relate despite being nonbinary and genderqueer because they all dont take hrt.

sigh

Good night

Passing along another writing challenge on /lit/ to anyone feeling creative: >>>/lit/25480729

>>44572497
sweet

>>44545663
>I hope you have decent enough mobile data or enough media to keep you sane bun..
That reminds me, I have to use my data sparingly and start downloading while I have wi-fi to chip into here.

Hopefully my dad can send some extra cash my way for data too, since it is pay as I go for now.

>if you are suddenly AWOL I know why, thanks for the heads up
Hopefully it won't come to that.

My mother thought ahead and has been helping me keep my non-australian phone running with data too.
We tested it today, it worked but we will keep making sure it is functional constantly.

>Fucking ew.
The amount of people that get away with bothering/hurting us is ridiculous.

I am genuinely done turning the other cheek now, we just have to start cutting people out as much as we can and get out of this situation.

>Nope but you can squeeze him for what it is worth in your own right
I won't be greedy I promise.

>Fuck him
After everything that he's done, let happen and let other people do?
I have to agree.

I don't want him to suffer, I really don't as I am not a sadist like a lot of people we deal with.
I will play nice as much as possible.

But my sympathy for him is spent, I'm done worrying about him when all does is whatever he wants to do anyhow.

>>44545526
>Might be very useful keeping things away from snooping relatives, too
It absolutely would yes.

Reminds me why I finally have passwords set up on all my devices now.

>My dad once used my phone to look at my mother's Facebook account in 2025, during the start of the drama since she blocked him
I was able to notice this because he 'closed' the app but left it open in the background, on her fb page.

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More updates and replies as soon as I can.

Wishing you all the best.

*paws at you* pg7
*paws at you* pg7
*paws at you* pg7

>>44575730
mrrrp
>>44571483
>i took like 225mg estrodiol injection
Girlypop is that EEn or EUn or? (I assume you mean 2x25mg injections because 225mg would be insane). Also just be careful with pio (I'm not saying dont use it to be clear; I have like 100 15mg pills in my sock drawer, but it's not something we have nearly as much info on as HRT). If you're directly experiencing pain from taking it I would really advise you don't take it.
Unrel, why take prog both rectally and orally? is there any benefit to doing so?

>>44571483
uhhh are you okay

>>44575730
pg5

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Hi /sig/, Panty here. I just made a batch of veggie stir fry with tofu in a spicy marinade and a mango sauce made with mango chunks and Lao Gan Ma. My pic also shows one of the tuna salad sandwiches I made earlier this week.

My uncle needed to get rid of a mini freezer, and since he knew my mom and I were thinking about getting one, he gave his to us. This means that I can store more frozen meals and ingredients, and do more cooking in advance.

I also did some vacuuming and laundry over the last couple of days, I listed a couple more collectibles on eBay, and I’m still working on my comics a little bit every day.

theres only one person who sees you at your best, worst and everything inbetween and stays around. at your most radiant and disgusting. its you, so you should love yourself because you will always have yourself. hopefully i can learn that lesson myself, but everyone should love themselves, its the least thanks we can give ourselves for staying so long.

>>44580460
looking good

Good night

okay night

goodnight /sig/

Does anybody have advice on how to have more success with online/remote work?

Any niche sites I can focus on?

>>44545526
>Oh right the thing is that I have not much experience syncing it but most cloud based pw managers (lastpass and the like) have occasional data breaches because it's not exactly securely done
Okay, I follow what you are saying.
I'll just be very careful in the future.

>KPXC is just a single file you can copy over from one machine to another if you don't wanna rely on anything else
Oh I see now.
That makes sense, sounds a lot easier to hand logistically.

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i cant tell if im infatuated with someone or really friends... now we are no longer friends...

>>44582365
heads up if you are going to store passkeys, third party password manager will only work with android 14 and above, android 9-13 can only work with google password manager

>>44488475
How hard is it to learn a new language?

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I will give a proper update tomorrow rather, since I will be having one last medical appointment tomorrow as well.

>>44584220
>third party password manager will only work with android 14 and above
>android 9-13 can only work with google password manager
Understood, thank you very much for the fair warning.
I will keep it in mind.

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>>44584763
It depends on what language you’re learning and what languages you already know. For example, “romance languages” like Spanish, Italian and French developed from Latin and have a lot in common with each other. So if you already know a language that uses the alphabet, you’ve got a head start there.

The challenge ramps up as you go from English or a Latin-based language to something like Russian or German, which use the alphabet but also have unique phonetic symbols. Then it gets harder still if you choose a language with an entirely different writing system like Hindi or Arabic.

A Chinese language would be a major challenge if you’re used to speaking a Latin-derived and alphabet based language, since there are unique and complex writing systems as well as additional vowel sounds used. But I understand that Japanese and Korean are more similar to Mandarin/Cantonese than European languages but are simpler. I’ve heard Korea’s writing system hangul was specifically designed to be simpler for the purposes of improving literacy.

Learning any new language as an adult is also not a binary process of done or not done. Your ability to understand others and communicate ramps up gradually, but any amount of learning will be useful in some way. I only know a handful of words and symbols in a few languages, but it helps me understand things I otherwise wouldn’t.

>>44586526
I should probably add, if anyone is studying English as a second language, English can be tricky because the way English words are spelled and pronounced is not consistent due to incorporating influences from multiple other languages and cultures over time.

The comedian Gallagher did an entire bit about the arbitrary ways common English words are spelled and pronounced:

https://youtu.be/ObkJNstaog8?si=Gtwt0pf465XKaoSj

>>44585681
oh one final thing, at the moment, only Bitwarden can export your Google Password Manager passkeys but I don't know how to convert it to something KeepassDX can use, something called FIDO CXF (Credential Exchange Protocol) or something and I can't find a mention keepass supporting it.
https://bitwarden.com/blog/security-vendors-join-forces-to-make-passkeys-more-portable-for-everyone/

I love you

>>44588735
Hello?

I hate nausea.

>>44588735
love you too

>>44584763
what country are you from? if you're america, ASL is pretty quick to pick up from lifeprint.com and it's really fun!

Good night

Kill yourself, failed experiment. You thought you could be a person? Let alone whatever retarded gender you think you are? Nah kid, death for us all around. Death in the shadows. Death on the corner. Death slowly but surely creeping out from under your furniture. Feel the hatred seeping out of the walls and into your mind. Fuck you. I will give 3 billion dollars to anyone who can kill me, make my head explode. Be a hero, exterminate a fucked up tranny.

>>44591331
you dont have 3 billion dollars, nor would that be heroic.

>>44588735
y-you too 0///0

I wished I owned a house.

>>44588735
why??

>>44592025
That's gonna be much harder from now on.

>>44593246
yeah...

>>44587843
Awesome, thank you for the guidance.
I appreciate it a lot.

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how some of you post your vent/hate/horny post

>>44595358
well I am saying this because I had a predicament where I would end up with my passkeys essentially "trapped" if I don't have an android 14 device, which is more expensive than an old phone

pg6 paw :3

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Updates tomorrow, thank you for your patience

>>44598693
Thank you for all of your efforts.

>>44597062
thanks kitty

i hate sand

Good night

>>44601854
night

Small Update for now, Part 1:

Positives
>Dad is stable now, his medical operations have gone well enough
>Recovery is going well
>Dad has mentioned that we may get WiFi earlier, either this Thursday or next week Thursday
>Worst comes to worse, we will wait another three weeks for the WiFi, if there is any delay
>Communication from Australian phone and old phone is reliable for now
>My medical results came back: nothing to report, no underlying medical issues then
>My mother and Sibling are recovering from the incident well enough
That's all I can think of right now.

pg8

>>44488475
anyone have any tips for learning to socialize? I can do alright at work because I’ve known everyone there for years but I’m scared to talk to anyone at school

>>44603100
Negatives
>Father has to return to hospital to have a stint removed for a second time
>His health is very much up in the air with all his problems considered
>My Mother and Sibling are still physically recovering from what my adopted sibling did (bruises on my Sibling and 'stroke-like' symptoms for my Mother)
>Father's new gf is nice enough but has encouraged him to sell the he house back home, which is major problem since my family back home don't any other place to stay
>I pray to God my Mother's living rights are still legitimate
>My Father is considering selling the car back home as well, to upgrade his own transportation
>My Father has been snippy with me regarding a lot of small things, as per how he was back in 2025
>Mother and Sibling are exhausting themselves trying to make money selling clothes

No matter what, I gotta start making real money so I can help my family get away from this lifestyle.

I done with sick and endless drama.

pg9

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Best of luck, everyone.

>>44607705
bunnies are sooo cute

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Not dead. But goddamn...
>>44545733
>I bring home around 4k a month after taxes
I wish I could help with local specifics like that, though I have been to the west coast for a while the place I have been to were stupidly expensive. You definitely should reach out to other tranners in that area, I can ask around on the unofficial server if you'd like.
>>44548192
Glad to hear things are going well for you, Panty! I've decided to add a new cook book to the /sig/ resources: https://traumbooks.itch.io/the-sad-bastard-cookbook, it is basically a realistic depression cooking guide with extremely beginner friendly recipes. I have heard of it before but it completely slipped my mind until today. I should probably make a dedicated post for it later. I also still need to update the markdown.. a whole lot. For now I just made minor changes.
>>44550513
>>44550485
Thanks you two for your kind words. It's not always easy but I am happy to do it.
>>44552979
Because I foolishly mangled the reply to you, sorry about that. I tend to copy the whole post in quote format as a place holder when I make these but in your case I forgot to fill in what I was meaning to say: I'm happy for you, Anon! Overcoming those inhibitions isn't easy, and I am glad it paid off. I hope you make plenty more positive/neutral experiences like that going forward.

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>>44553272
Take all the time you need Anon. I am not going anywhere, and when you reply at your own pace, I will happily respond to you. Remember, I do this because I enjoy spending time with all of you. It will be alright.
>>44557694
>Which ones?
From that post I inferred that >>44481189 and >>44481296 were both you!
>not that problem exactly, I have glanced on it but havent put the time to consume it
Ah, very fair!
>I pay with cash every time
>desu I usually set a budget of $x and just blow twice or triple of it to stress cope.
Hm, the question is do you notice when you blow the budget and then end up going over it because the urge is too great, or do you not notice because you lose track? Depending on that I would either lean more towards recommending you coping mechanisms or making it easier for you to keep an eye on your budget. Assuming it is coping mechanisms for now, the first thing to come to mind is a substitute action. Having a drink with you to swig is a good option for that, perhaps.
>I can meal prep but IDK what to do with water/drinks.
Get a good water bottle, a steel one if you are sensitive to plasticky flavors leeching into the drink, but hell, even a regular water bottle from a dispenser would do for now. If you like carbonated drinks, and if your work env allows, you could get a soda stream or off brand equivalent to turn tap water bubbly. Flavors and the light that are light on calories are doable too, though the carbonation already adds acidity.
>Also if you know how to flavor oatmeals to taste very savory/umami please do
Hm, oat meal specifically? For that you would proceed as you would for risotto, that is you use a stock or broth base and add it to the oats, adding either a bit of fat in the form of butter or oil and then adding flavorings such as mushrooms, cheese, onions etc at different stages of the cooking process. I found a couple recipes online after a quick search that confirm my intuition.
(1/2)

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>>44557694
(2/2)
Umami ingredients to fortify a stock are plentiful, for asian styles you could go for miso, onions sauce, dashi or sea weeds like konbu (which you discard at the end like bay leaf) or dried mushrooms, for western variants you have Worcestershire sauce, marmite, tomato paste, ... it depends on the amount of fridge and freezer space you got, making your own stock borders on a hobby but soup is a great option to take to work, as it is easy on the stomach, filling and flavorful.
>WHEN i was small I kept stealing bits of MSG powder
I had the same tick with regular salt.
>>44558253
Especially in the beginning the hard part will be to learn to catch yourself in the act, I believe. Breaking the auto pilot, if you will.
>>44562413
>>44563421
Hm, could it be both of you feel deprived of things to enjoy, or is it more that the joy is sucked out of all the things you used to like?
>>44564009
>Disgusting fucking behavior from them, I am not going to forgive this ever.
Christ almighty, what the fuck.. what kind of fit was it? Is there a serious risk of them, how to put this delicately.. losing control?
>>44565376
>Being closeted sucks
It is, and it could be that being closeted for so long and the depression that comes with it actively affects your executive function. That makes everything even harder, and I think it is only fair to cut yourself plenty of slack because of it. You have tried a lot, as you said, nothing stuck thus far. The question is whether pro help is realistic for you.

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Taking a break, perhaps more tomorrow, or later.
>>44565642
Godspeed, bun.
>>44566595
>yes and its impossible for me to get close to new people hehe
Let's take a step back. Do you ever confirm that people you lost contact with don't want to spend time with you anymore? Chances are they would be more than happy to reconnect.
>>44567485
>^_^ I got my HRT prescription through today, so I can finally go back to messing around with the Army.
Congrats, Navy!
>NB described my results as "subtle but effective"
That def sounds like good, it's peculiar that your other coworkers don't even pay enough attention to notice you had a surgery, but I wager that this means they simply don't pay attention to details enough to begin with.
>my laser tech [..] didn't clock I was trans
Not sure how to take the second one (as in did they assume you were cisf until that point?), but I get that it's not easy, people you are comfortably being out to IRL don't grow on trees.
>>44570584
>i took some time to actively talk to my friends about it and turns out it's exactly what you predicted.
I'm elated to hear, and you're more than welcome! It is always a bit spooky to "confront" people about such things, but more often than not it pays off. Sometimes discomfort points towards things we have no experience with rather than danger, which can make it a counter-intuitive compass towards progress. Personally I always feel safer asking others for reassurance in such moments, too, by the way. I know firsthand that it feels different to be told something "you already know", so never shy away from reaching out!

>>44607890
Thank you for your work
Please always take care of yourself first siganon

I broke up
I feel nothing cause I knew it was coming
Oh well
Still sucks
But I’m fine

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>>44607870
That cookbook looks interesting. I’ll have to check out some of those recipes. Obviously, I’ve got the energy to do a more involved recipe now and then, but a quick and easy recipe doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

I’ve earned almost $200 this month selling collectibles I don’t want to keep. It’s mostly about decluttering and getting niche items to new owners who are likely to appreciate them, but obviously having a little extra scratch helps too.

I finished reading pic related last night. It’s the 40th graphic novel / comic book trade paperback I’ve read this year. It’s a bunch of “what if” stories from the 1960s. Typical stuff from that time. Loved the art, the writing was bad in an interesting way.

I also vacuumed my bedroom and washed my bedsheets. My challenge to /sig/: Change your bedsheets if you haven’t in the last couple of weeks.

>>44608108
im sorry about that

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What do you guys do when the hunger pain is unbearable?

For reference I'm a fatty and I want to lose weight. I understand the basics of a calorie deficit. And I've even lost around 20 pounds this year. Only problem is the hunger pain is unbearable, especially towards the end of the day when I really start to crave food. I've tried zero sugar jello, and diet soda kinda helps, but it's never enough.

Any advice would be helpful, thanks.

>>44609499
High fiber and protein meals help you feel full for longer. Fiber supplement pills might help. Plain or lightly seasoned popcorn is a snack that you can munch on a lot with little caloric intake.

>>44609665
Thanks for the fiber advice. I already have a 100 calorie granola bar that I snack on sometimes, and I eat fruits and also sugar free pudding, and Greek yogurt. But even then I still struggle with hunger pain. I think my problem is that in my childhood my parents didn't teach me about basic nutrition. So instead of eating things like chicken and fruits, I ate a lot of frozen pizzas and bagel bites when I was younger. I believe I can change eventually but it may take time

I'll look into more foods with high protein and fiber. Never been a popcorn fan.

>>44609740
More fiber is generally a good idea no matter who you are. Most people aren't getting enough.

Im working out at the park now. I want to get strong with a feminine body. The hardest part was running on the sand pit and i tired out much too quickly
>>44608108
I hope the open future brings you hope
>>44608574
>Loved the art, the writing was bad in an interesting way.
Lol, good review
>>44609499
Decaf coffee has been my go to diet food forever.

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i wish i could be friendly

>>44610630
Neat tech.

Good night
Almost forgot to read tonight

I hate being crippled by anxiety all the time.

Out with my ex
Still old friends
Sharing everything

>>44607870
>Thanks you two for your kind words
>It's not always easy but I am happy to do it
We all appreciate it a great deal, thank you for everything.

>>44607886
>Christ almighty, what the fuck..what kind of fit was it?
My adopted sibling has had freakouts before but this is the first I have heard of it getting that physical with other people involved.

They even got mad and 'confessed' to spying on us, on the behalf of my Father.
>When he was pressed over the phone, he denied using them that way and blamed my family back home for 'getting the idea into your own heads' or something

I am paraphrasing a little, since it is so hard to keep track of all this madness.

>Is there a serious risk of them, how to put this delicately..losing control?
I don't really know what you mean but they seem to be fine for the moment. No noticeable risk of a freakout again.

They are living with my father's family at the moment, something I found out without them telling me.
I should probably talk about my Father's family at some point.

I am tired, I must rest now.

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Goodnight for now, everyone.

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>>44609848
>Lol, good review
Thanks. I say “interestingly bad” because for all the things I didn’t like about the writing, they came up with stuff I never would have thought of, like mermaids flying through space in a water vortex. It might not make the most sense, but it’s creative, and I think that should count for something.

>>44610630
Cool.

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Hi all sh anon here, it's been a while since I've posted or come on this board but I wanted to share that I've officially made it past 2 years sh free. I also wanted to share that I've finally been on estrogen consistently again and quit drinking. Lifes still had a lot of really awful moments this year but I'm getting through them still. Mostly just wanted to pop in to say thank you to anyone who showed me support here and to say to anyone struggling it does get better even if it doesn't feel like it ever will in the moment.

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work is kicking my ass today, it's almost 21 and I am still running scripts remotely from home to get shit done. God damn it all.

>>44615931
hugs :(

Hope you're ready for the absolute wall. And I hope this splits properly.
>>44518436
(1/2)
Been trying to make writing things down automatic in general, but I'm still slacking a lot. Especially on the deeper thoughts side.
Another issue is remembering to check my notes. Tried to write stuff down on my phone so I could add reminders, but it's so... unhandy to write stuff down there.
>too transactionally
Maybe because I don't see any likable qualities in myself (yet) and I'm pretty much always in a position of being the one getting stuff, getting help (offers), getting contacted.
Guess I'm a very passive "friend," so I get conscious about balance between giving and taking in relationships. Being poor only worsens this, because it's direct monetary value I'm getting without bringing (or being able to bring) in much in return myself. Perhaps because I'm reluctant in giving advice on many topics "normal" people have to deal with. Maybe it could not even be needed or wanted.
Further, I'm fairly anxious about letting people get close to me, while at the same time I don't have much of an issue talking about heavier (mostly mental health) topics if I get into a conversation somehow.
Most of the time I don't seem to consciously understand how people work, so I'm more of a half-assed attempt at copying a social human being. Not sure if it's from neglect, self-imposed isolation during my teenage years, (undiagnosed) autism or (half-diagnosed, but never really treated) (c)PTSD from DV. Or "just" being very shy and introverted in (semi-) intimate or somewhat close relation-/friendships.
Also RSD as a general symptom, as well as being a HSP are something that's a possibility, but self-worth issues definitely play a part in it too.
One other thing I observed is how I seem to keep falling into (or be stuck in) the secondary emotional network, feeling like I never really grew up (mentally) after my first attempt.

>>44518436
(2/2)
>be there for people you care for
On the off chance I actually get asked or it's simple stuff like helping with moving or something. If it's more difficult things, or if something is at stake, I don't wanna ruin things for someone and be responsible for it. A lot of the time I even like helping people and be kind, but these are things where I have a 99.9% chance to not fuck up in any way (yet I still do sometimes and think about it for years to come).
>people to confide in
Same as above-ish. I do have some friends I can, for example, talk about death, suicide and mental health issues. Maybe because I've been dealing with it since my childhood (first and only attempt was before I was ten and, for example my father mock-strangled himself when my parents were fighting). It wasn't always like this for me, especially with - and due to - my family but I definitely lost all fear of death and don't see suicide as something bad. (Which may be very awkward irl at times due to how dark my humor and sarcasm can be thanks to this.)
>not the supportive kind
I think they may be supportive, just our history doesn't allow me to accept this or be open (for example nobody I know knows I'm on HRT and the absolute last ones to get to know would be my family).
Especiall with my mom it feels like an act, like she didn't accidentally dropped me as a toddler, like she wasn't "able to deal with how I was [as a child]," like she (and my father too) didn't use me as a playball in their divorce war.
It just icks me how super hypocritical they appear - goes not only for my family, but so so many people.

>>44518440
(1/2)
>might be ADHD meltdowns
Possibly even AuDHD. Not even using skills seems to really help, because it's so sudden - or it's the wrong skills. Reminder to myself: I need to pay more attention to the buildup and remind myself of skills.
Sometimes it almost feels like I have BPD in addition.
I did learn to just avoid frustrating things as much as possible and as soon as I feel rage building up to avoid sh behavior before I started my first round of DBT.
>food
I do get the drive to cook something occasionally, but it's mostly late in the night and our stove seems to be a bit weak. It's old and a bit damaged even.
There is some fridge space, but I may be very autistic or sensitive about food and it possibly being rotten. It seems I experience senses in a fairly different way than "normal" people - I think the most insane example (and 4chan is the only place that knows about this) is how I had an actual orgasm at the crescendo of a prog rock song, no other stimulation. But I'm rambling again.
No issues with eating the same thing for a few days in a row, because that's pretty much what I've been doing since the start of the year - gray bread with a slice of cheese and sausage. Gets bland, yeah, but at some point I either have to force myself to eat something or I actually get hungry.
>cleaning
Same issue as with cooking, just the mental impact is bigger, because it's ever present and I can't just buy a microwave cleanup at the store like I can buy meals.
Typical ADHD behavior: once I may have visitors, I actually clean up instead of just thinking about it and (fig.) beating myself up over it. Mostly just a bit so it's not completely fucked, as I procrastinate and run out of time.
But any input is welcome~
I also "lose" a fuckton of time (and energy/dopamine) to stimulation seeking behavior, being pretty much addicted to anything (and my interests keep shifting) that gets me into flow.
In general, it may be a good idea to refresh my DBT/CBT knowledge.

>>44518440
(2/2)
>leadership
Currently fighting for being treated like the other employees (who have more leeway, better pay and better general conditions for some reason), but nothing really came of it and I don't expect this to change.
If only I had a leader who treats me like a human (despite being a bit different), can make things stimulating and knows how to apply my skill set so things are good for them, me and the company. One can only hope this is different in other places.
Maybe it's just an unattainable idea of a near-perfect leader (based on, in part, military leadership and books like Leadership Strategy and Tactics), but in person I have never witnessed any manager figuratively fight on the frontlines for a day or pick up casings at the end of the day.
>Yes, this is perfect.
Haha, thanks again! While I dislike most of mankind and think they're just working on their own demise at this time, I don't have to be an asshole to others because of it (especially being a metalhead - I never got to know kindness and compassion in any way like in that "community" - 4chan can be surprisingly great with these things too, as seen with you and many others), because maybe something will change towards a balance between warrior kings and royal advisors. Maybe some day people will start listening to what the more quiet people have to say.
And thanks (again?) for what you do!

>>44607886
>feel deprived of things to enjoy
Both at times, but I seem to have difficulty realizing/identifying what I'm feeling, especially positive emotions. Weed helps with that a bit, but I don't think I wanna be stoned all the time.
Might be alexithymia, might be anhedonia, but I didn't really get the chance to have these looked at in detail. The causes may be many, as outlined in these posts.

pg10

I miss sleep

>>44620518
Me too.

Good night

>>44621799
night

pg7

I think it's time to stop post-poning it and just get some mental help.

I have a lotta shit to work through but I can't deal with my messes alone for another ten years.

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good luck

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>>44616061
Much appreciated, Anon.. I look forward to having the energy to post again. I hope you all know that I appreciate you too.

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>>44626920
Take care and best of luck, Siganon.

goodluck everybody

minor life updates, new semester started back to the uni grind. got interesting courses this sem so pretty excited for that! job search has been kicking my ass but fortunately new grad roles are starting to open up for the next recruiting cycle ^-^ started actually hanging out and making plans with friends so there's some progress on the socializing part. i no longer freeze up when i get into an unexpected social interactions. i can at the very least have a short conversation.

as always love you all /sig/mas <3 sending virtual hugs (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

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Hi /sig/! Here’s my latest batch of sandos. Tuna salad and egg salad with homemade coleslaw.

I also shipped an eBay sale today and did a little work on comics I want to draw.

I ordered some scrapbooking tools, and cardstock pages with a clear plastic cover that you can seal things onto. I’m going to put ticket stubs and old drawings onto them to protect and preserve them better.

It’s been a gradual process of organizing my sentimental detritus, making it easier to get to and take up less space.

>>44628606
damn that looks good

>>44625542
thanks

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I'm so fucking scared. (of girlmoding and stuff)

Good night

>>44630629
night