Helltaker Anniversary Editionprevious: >>44657335Goal of the thread: Go into yourself for a few minutes, try to shut out all distractions. Calm down and try to articulate how you feel. Speak from the heart.Daily goals can be repeated. Remember to keep score, it can only go up!>What is this thread for?Getting better is hard, and sucks. A lot. It does not get easier doing it alone.Share resources and experiences with combating depression, anxiety, personal issues, achieving or maintaining a healthy weight, etc.>Why is this thread /lgbt/?Struggles with mental and physical health are an indisputable part of /lgbt/ life, be it from dysphoria, social pressure, heartbreak, or just unfortunate lifestyle choices.>Notes to consider:Please be civil. Shame is your greatest enemy in fighting urges of self abuse (be it sh, drugs, or just self deprecation). Relapsing into bad and unhealthy habits is to be expected, the goal is to increase the average amount of time it takes between relapses. Any improvement is a victory no matter how small. Your worth and right to get better are non-negotiable. And most importantly:WE ARE NOT THERAPISTS, WE DON'T REPLACE MEDICATION>Note on adviceGeneric advice won't necessarily help you in particular, but for those it does it is an essential foundation to build future progress on, not a miracle cure. Do not underestimate the effects subtle changes to your lifestyle can have. Try first, keep us posted on your progress, build from there.We are *always* short on self help resources, so if anything was useful to you, let us know!NOTE: This general is slow moving, so sometimes people reply to you cross-thread! Be on the lookout!Since the OP is getting too long I moved all resources into their own post, see below!## RESOURCE LINKS:Resource link paste: https://rentry.co/sig-resources-2025-07General advice from Anons: https://rentry.co/sig-tips-2024-04Posts from other sites (markdown format): https://rentry.co/sig-posts-2024-04
Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!- prepare 1 load of laundry- do 1 load of laundry- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish- eat a meal- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes- make your bed- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)- do the dishes for 3 minutes- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)- Open your window for 10-20 minutes- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)- take out the trash- drink a glass of water- put one item of trash in the bin- reach out to an online contact (perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:IRC: presently defunct afaik.Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2
Didn't mean to post tonight but it can't be fucking helped.I have some posts done anyway, migt as well.
>>44617033>>44617045>>44617052>>44617067Finally got to reply, let's get started..>Hope you're ready for the absolute wall.I absolutely am!>Been trying to make writing things down automatic in generalSo far so good, as for deeper thoughts, a lot of it from where I stand is a matter of challenging oneself not being an on/off switch. Make sure to probe yourself, be wary of comfort zones, but don't be too harsh on yourself for needing time to articulate the hard things either. If you can squeeze out things you weren't able to before, little by little, it will become easier over time anyway. Once you feel stuck however you might wanna get fresh perspectives if you can help it.>Tried to write stuff down on my phone so I could add reminders, but it's so... unhandyI get it, perhaps write it down elsewhere that is easily accessible (perhaps your main computer, or a notebook) and only keep a reference to jot down on the phone? Like "check p7, top half".>I get conscious about balance between giving and taking in relationships.Hm, especially with the material side of things in mind, the fact that you do not mind talking about things of deeper emotional significance is a valuable thing that not everyone has the energy for. That is often worth more than material things, at least past a certain point in one's life (assuming the luxury of a steady income and stable circumstances).>Maybe it could not even be needed or wanted.This is something that it not always healthy to speculate about, and ties into knowing how people work. People are, in a way, all rulers of their own little domain. Sometimes it is not for you to decide if something is worth their time, and that also means offering things they may decline. Even if you worry they might only humor you for the sake of people pleasing, that is something they need to figure out themselves, not you! You are not a burden for feeling out boundaries.(1/4)
>>44617033>>44617045>>44617052>>44617067(2/4)>Most of the time I don't seem to consciously understand how people workYou should definitely at no point feel obligated to read minds. However, especially with things like autism being an option looking into diagnoses might be worthwhile just to be sure you have access to the right tools to make things easier for you.>I seem to keep falling into the secondary emotional networkHm, I don't think I fully grasp what you mean with the secondary emotional network bit. Could you elaborate? Also, you mentioned HSP, I don't think I heard of it before, what is it exactly?>I don't wanna ruin things for someone and be responsible for it.I feel like a lot of people with executive issues know your pain. They want to be there for their loved ones, but if a week can pass in the blink of an eye and you realize the time critical thing your friend needed help with already passed.>nobody I know knows I'm on HRTOh, that is important: you aren't out to anybody in your friend group? Maybe you need to remind me of some context, would there be any risk of you outing yourself to people IRL leading to your family knowing? What is your living situation like? Also, as for your family, given what you said I would file them under "not supportive", and that is on them for acting the way they do.> I need to pay more attention to the buildup and remind myself of skills.Very important, yes! Also if tism IS in the mix: remember that there is a major sensory aspect to that. Overstimulation can be a serious concern and would massively affect your mood.>I do get the drive to cook something occasionally, but it's mostly late in the night and our stove seems to be a bit weak. It's old and a bit damaged even.Hm, would there be a risk of waking/bothering people? Cause in general night time is actually a great time for meal prep in my experience, as long as it doesn't fuck your sleep schedule.
>>44617033>>44617045>>44617052>>44617067(3/4)>I had an actual orgasm at the crescendo of a prog rock songNot gonna lie that is kinda awesome. If you are sensitive to particular sensations I am sure this will affect the kinda smells/textures/tastes you can and cannot stomach, right? Worry about food spoilage can be addressed reasonably with good food containers, I personally like glass tupperware because while it is heavy it doesn't stain at all (the lids might but depending on the kind those are replaceable).>gray bread with a slice of cheese and sausage.Personally I am a fan of stuff like that for supper in particular, though in my case it's almost exclusively cheeses, hah>No issues with eating the same thingThat is great for meal prep at the very least! Should we maybe think about recipes you could try that are realistic for your circumstances?>cleaningOne thing which might help you a lot (it helped me and even though I am not diagnosed I do know by now I have a bit of executive troubles too) is to approach cleaning from a very different angle. I call my method the "dynamic equilibrium" because chemistry inspired me to try it. You set yourself easy to follow rules that assure you are continuously cleaning (on average) more things in a day than you make dirty. Example, after I cook I don't have the energy to do all the dishes (pots, pans, etc). What I do is that I live with not doing it immediately and instead, every time I enter the kitchen, clean 1 item, or 1 more item than I need. Need a glass? Clean two forks. Need a plate? Clean one and perhaps the pot while I'm at it. This way dirty dishes will still add up, but they will diminish *at a greater rate* than they can pile. The same principle keeps surfaces free of clutter etc. It works for anything that gets worse in very small increments.
>>44617033>>44617045>>44617052>>44617067(4/4)>I also "lose" a fuckton of time (and energy/dopamine) to stimulation seeking behaviorHm, don't have anything too useful for your specific case there sadly, I'd urge you to look into AuDHD sorta resources like the ones we have for that.>Currently fighting for being treated like the other employeesIt sucks that you are being treated poorly at work, especially since it's likely a lot of office politics bs in your way. And yes this is a failure of leadership.>but in person I have never witnessed any manager figuratively fight on the frontlinesAcademia has those dynamics, it strongly depends on the group and culture. I have seen professors basically treating their researchers like cubicle wagies and their science suffered for it. I have seen some take a more anarchic approach where the advisor is also doing ground level work and it actually led to flawless communication. While I get frequently frustrated with the world, I have mellowed out quite a bit since I hit 30 I feel. I just try to be the change more and disengage with things I cannot change quicker.>And thanks (again?) for what you do!I'm happy to.>Both at times, but I seem to have difficulty realizing/identifying what I'm feelingAh, articulating things. Journaling can help, but in general it is a thing you simply gotta train. The more you try and articulate emotions, especially complicated ones, even employing flowery language when needed, will enrich your self perception. A mental muscle to train.>>44639279>Made food... worked out... cleaned dishes... I just need to read nowWell done, Anon!
That's it for tonight. I will reply to more posts from the last two threads (>>44657335 and >>44488475) tomorrow.Also, >>44669352 I will get around to your posts in the coming days as well. But please, do remember to keep things civil, we all mean well, I promise.Goodnight.
pg7 paw :3
>>44673226kitty!!
>>44672119goal of the thread: idk........ im already dead .... me who i am existing in my body that is not mine...
>>44668486I have a job 'interview' of some kind tomorrow.So, I am in a rush to get to sleep soon, sorry.Hopefully job opportunities will be more definite at the end of this week.>>44653349 #>Always:)>That's a relief>What I meant earlier was more or less if they pose a risk to themselves and others >(which may require psychiatric intervention and proper treatment)I don't think so, they are living with my Father's family right now, so I don't think we can reach them right now.I do receive messages from them, they appear to be stable right now.I will stay observant.>if we are talking about full on psychosis for exampleI don't believe so, it seemed more like a fit of rage.The info I received of this outburst was very shocking but not psychosis related.They were very rude, targeted and deceitful at times.No further outbursts or conflicts yet, thankfully.>Perhaps, glad you rest!I will get into that topic throughout the next week maybe.I should probably mention it to my new counselor as well.>I appreciate you keeping us postedIt's all good, this is very good for me I think.Being able to talk about these things openly.
Good night
>>44672228I've been misunderstood, strawmanned, and had my supposed character and intellect insulted. Here is your case study.I've been thinking about the cultural difference of academia. I think what you meant is different from what that word represents on this side of the ocean. And how there was a crab in a bucket and there was a seagull.
>>44666818Reporting in from last thread at 4:00 in the morning i.e tomorrow from when I'd intended to make my first report.Spent most of the day staring at screens including browsing 4chan. Cleaned my room then dirtied it up again (my room's a complete mess). Didn't attend classes today cause I got self conscious and I was already arriving late. Had a more coherent way of communicating this but I think I'm too sleep deprived to go into it now, maybe... tomorrow...Will now go to sleep and likely sleep through most of the early morning until I awake in midday. Good night(?)
any of you know if cbd+cbg helps relief severe nerve pain?
>>44675902night good gosh I am tired
>>44677223Can't hurt to try it for a bit, right?I don't want to make any hyperbolic claims about what marijuana is good for, but I think it is underutilized for general pain management. CBT has some applications for inflammation, which can be potentially helpful for your use case, but nerve pain is a bit tricky. I don't have any chronic pain issues, but I am a bit older and I find getting high as balls once a month is a decent reset for my joints because it totally numbs any pain I have and let's me sleep for 16 hours. Speaking of tricky nerve pain, where do you specifically have nerve pain? When did it arise? Have you been to a physiotherapist that specializes in that pain type (do you have money for that?)
>>44672173>>44672187>>44672192>>44672220Won't get to replying until this weekend at least.Too much stuff going on right now, but I read it already.Thanks :)
Good news and bad news. The bad news is, I ran out of the medication I take to help me sleep yesterday, and I didn’t sleep at all last night. I had a virtual appointment today to get a refill, but this morning the doctor moved that appointment to tomorrow. At least the longer I go without a good night’s sleep, the easier it’ll be to get one. The good news is, I listed a bunch more collectibles on eBay, and emptied another box in my closet. The hard thing for me is deciding to part with anything. But I figure any geegaw of mind that’s sat in a closet for two years is something I can live without, and anything I can sell before I move again will be one less thing to pack. (I’m not planning moving soon, but I’m not expecting to spend the rest of my life in this house my mom is renting.) And a little extra scratch would be nice; I want to buy a scanner and digitize some of my old drawings.
pg7
>>44672119How to sleep better and look less old?
3 posts tonight. With that I have finally caught up with the thread before last thread..>>44635517>I want a planner/pomodoro app that lets me like, define one-off tasks>and also recurring tasks (clear trash from desk, recurring every other day),>click-and-drag it onto a basic calendar,>and then let me easily shuffle them around to fit them in.That's how I ended up using Emacs for so much (this is not a recommendation, but hear me out), adding GUI adds like 10k lines of spaghet so having a simple UI that I can tweak as I please and program inside of is a real boon. I think, unless you need it on mobile, you might get away with splitting your problem in two halves: a calendar program where you can shuffle the things around (thunderbird is a semi adequate choice in my limited experience) and that saves the calendar to a file in a readable format (.ical or something), and then a second program that can do the pomodoro heavy lifting reading the calendar entries.>>44641763>I will start posting daily i think as a journaling bit(sorry for the spam that will become but i hope it in the spirit and confines of the threads/general)Do go ahead! I'm rooting for you, Anon. It's not spam at all! You can also ping the OP if you wanna.>>44643419>I have crippling ADHD and can't stop doing shit to avoid starting tasksADHD is a mess to navigate at the best of times and one of the things that you will have to cope with a lot is urgency. To my limited understanding ADHD brains are very "now or never", so stuff like pomodoro can help you pace yourself (a break NOW, break over NOW, over and over), for example. I think one of the channels for ADHD I linked in the resources (HowToADHD) has a video on this.>>44648701>hit 83.5 kg last weigh in. so close to the next milestone 80 :3Awesome, well done Anon!>>44651197>I need to cleanChecking in on you, how did it go?
>>44642102Hi, bun! Thank you for keeping us posted, for now I am just keeping an eye on your updated but not adding much. Let me know if there is anything you need. You are doing great.>>44658324>I didnt post yeday was too drunk>guess the experiment failedListen to me Anon, absolutes are your enemy at the beginning! Try to manage as often as you can this week, if you manage 1 or 2 times a week this week you can work your way up. That is how habits are formed! Humans are persistence predators, do not forget that.>>44651822>always because the urge is too great?Oh I mean, in the moment! That is when do you catch yourself, the first and most important step in this I would say is to "catch yourself in the act". That is the most time critical step after all. It is okay if you are still at a stage where you can't stop overspending anyway but not doing it on autopilot is a milestone in and of itself. Perhaps this seems trivial to you since you already reached it though, just making sure. Second, you are doing it to cope, right? You will need coping mechanisms to deal with your feelings and life in general, we might wanna dwell on this together as well if you wanna.>I think I will lean to flavoring specifically. carbonation costs way too much.Very fair. If I remember correctly the initial expense is like.. 50-70 bucks, and refills cost another 30-40 bucks per 60L (allegedly, I never checked) of carbonated water.>i've got a steel drink can maybe I should try bringing stock to stave off hunger.Sounds like a plan, you can also make stuff like egg drop soup since it doesn't get soggy unlike noodles.
>>44653247>They just believed I was a cis man.Ah, god damn it, genuinely didn't occur to me.>I'll have been sat applied to them, putting my life on hold, for over 2 years.That fucking sucks, Navy. You know, you following a career path that resits your effort as you try to pull all the stops to see things through reminds me a lot of my academic pursuits up to now. I understand that you feel distraught, though I would love to hear how your thoughts have changed after a bit of time to recover, if they have.>>44657261>I'm struggling with seeming to pass less than other people who've been on HRT as long as I have.>I'm not sure if the way I feel about this is relatable to anyoneMaybe it is not my turn to speak on this since I can only give second hand accounts but you seem far from alone in this. You are fighting an uphill battle valiantly, and your story mirrors that of other people that have posted here.>I have a lot of different goals to somehow make time for so I think I need to experiment with how to coordinate thatYou picked out very good goals by the way, definitely speak up if there is anything in particular you'd like some input on, okay?>>44658364>I guess after age 25, things really are just...over.In what way, Anon?>t. 34>>44659762Heya Panty!>I don’t know what the fuck is going on. I have some guesses, but that’s beside the point.Oh yes, that is dementia is like. I am no expert but they don't experience the present anymore, not in the same way you and I do. He's effectively talking to you from 10 years ago, maybe more. Other variations include them confusing a child for their dead parent at that age and similar such things. Hallucinations are in the mix too as far as I know, essentially their minds superimposing your past self onto you. I think it will be valuable to read up on how to talk to them about people that have died, because ultimately, the perspectives and tips you will find there will likely be the most helpful to you.
>>44681093>How to sleep betterHere are some quick and dirty basics. I don’t know what you’re doing already or having trouble with, but feel free to get specific about your issues if you want more specific advice. >How to look less oldTwo obvious things I can suggest are drinking more water and avoiding sun exposure. >>44681125I actually knew most of that, but I never thought of it that way before. That does really help. It also explains why he deadnamed me a couple of times recently.
arf
>>44679544yayyyy i hope to one day praise your art
>>44682258good job puppy!!
>>44683464bwarf?
Good nightI fancy to say that I've become something of a reader these past few months
>>44684481That's awesome, Anon.
>>44679544I gotta start saving some money myself.
GodI love twinks
>>44685815Don't we all?
>>44681115>>44681118Posting againMissed therapy today and just wasted my time on video games all alone againWork time nowI’ll try to at least do self care tonightPosting tmr nowIwnbaw and thats okAcceptance
>>44678935And at least I got a lot of stuff done at work this week already, gonna do more stuff tomorrow and then treat myself to something this weekend. Don't know what yet, but I'm going to.
Some Venting:>Father lied about being pushed to Australia due to my Mother (somehow), it was always a plan for him>My Mother sent out a missing person's report for my adopted sibling before they left, my Father lied about not knowing where they were, him and his family>Father gave money to adopted sibling, in envelopes during the time he was back home with us, possibly as a bribe>My adopted sibling lied about being the only one to help around the house back home>Adopted sibling has apparently assaulted my Mother TWICE without me being present>Father has been threatening to cut off my bio sibling financially, well after he spent time and money upgrading his new girlfriend's house>Father will be taking off from work for a week, so communicating will be awkward for a while>Father wants to take me from driving lessons, which have always been miserable in the past because he is quick to anger and annoyanceThere is more to say but I will pace myself for now.