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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct afaik.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

I may be a spoiled brat. I guess there's worse fates!

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>>44738821
>Do you see it? People hate me for being who I am.
Hm, difficult. If you are who I think you are I did not see the way people approached you here as resentful, unless I missed something. But I don't wanna dismiss you being hurt over things in the slightest. It is just that, very often in life, people can hurt us in ways they never intended. I mean, I can imagine some of my words being too confrontational too, but I never felt like I made you feel disliked in the slightest in spite of my ways.
>>44738810
Heya Navy
>I can start progressing into emergency medical qualifications as an extra skill set to have.
Oh, nifty!
>an emerging goal for me is to just have some kind of way to get into disaster relief/aid work and humanitarian volunteering if the Army falls through in the end.
Oh, that's great news actually! I am glad you have a backup plan like this. I think it's a noble thing to aspire to.
>ah shit I knew I forgot to do something
Never too late!
>>44741556
>Any good resources for nutrition and exercise?
I believe the fit sticky contains basic pointers that cover the basics well, micros, macros, CICO, and beginner friendly routines if memory serves.
>>44743141
>I have been coding since I was 14, have a degree and I'm literally more poor than people who have part time jobs or neetbux, I'll consider just switching my career to this.
That fucking sucks, it sounds like you are being taken advantage of with shit pay, given you say you live in a shithole country I assume that your colleagues all have the same problem, perhaps you know other programmers at other companies too? I am just trying to get a feeling for whether it's just the entire field thanks to your country or your employer specifically.
>>44748153
>I can relate, it is a genuine pain in the ass to do
It is, I am slowly automating the process with bash scripts but I don't wanna break anything so I do things manually for a while to get a feel for it.

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Christ almighty almost posted these in the wrong thread..
>>44741126
>it feels me with utter disgust
Yes, that is the shame aspect of it all, but I mean that is more the part I tried to exclude, I am trying to figure out what drives the impulse because I strongly suspect it's coping with stress. Ultimately what you want to do after all is try to attack the problem at the root, you need something to cope with the stress that is actually good for you, that will reduce cravings, while the other core issue (availability) is likely tied to your bodily needs.
>I have the option to cook, but I probably rather starve myself with water if I find myself too lazy to cook
>if I am at work, a snack is just 1-3 minutes away.
There is a good chance that with actual food at work you might find it a lot easier to resist. If we somehow tackle fullness on the one hand as well as emotional well being on the other then chances are you can shake that habit off a lot more easily. Have you made progress catching yourself in the act, by the way?
>>44750693
>Still I will try to be healthy today.
I am glad you approach things this way, it is very important not to spiral in the face of a setback.
> I don't feel like I deserve it but whatever.
I understand that, you chastise yourself for slipping up (ultimately because you want to be better), but still being kind to yourself in spite of that is good for productivity and as such was the right call. Proud of you!
>>44751624
>Oh also I did my hrt today after not doing it in a while :)
Well done!
>>44756036
Hope you recovered well from the wisdom teeth removal, Panty!
>>44762905
>Using my brain after work is fun sometimes.
100% agreed!

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>>44763679
>i did more selfcare this week than most weeks
>thats good
It is, I'm glad to hear.
>im just waiting now
>idk for what
I do wish you find something worth the wait Anon. You're lonely, aren't you?
>>44777596
>Any tips for socialization in isolated spaces?
Very good question, it depends on the kind of isolated space. For example if you live in the boonies and can't move or travel sufficiently regularly one of the few options is finding people online, as much as it pains me to say.
>>44777448
>I think there are a lot of stickier ones I tend towards I haven't identified
>a lot of feeling like I 'need to do x thing' to feel better, emotional processing stuff
Yeah, things like that are a fucking journey at the best of times. It's difficult and I wholeheartedly encourage to share some of your inner world with people you trust, it helps a great deal to get many perspectives. Having a pro look at you can help too, but remember that it is like with other kinds of doctors: you won't vibe with everyone and some are unhelpful jackasses. As you yourself said:
>I'm also going to try accepting that I need and deserve more support and that trying to be well on my own isn't working that well
This is an important step and I am glad you are taking it!
>I need to be a little more proactive and minded towards practical steps when it comes to building momentum and making progress
A great goal to set, absolutely. I personally try to decompose things into small, actionable, digestible elements.
>I'm going to try something like what >>44727630 recommended
Yes, I think that's a great approach. And remember, you can always lean on people when you find a point of friction you don't yet know how to creatively sidestep!
>I've honestly always been a little at a loss/overwhelmed by how to even be more organised
That is perfectly fine an answer! I only ask because it can downright hurt to hear tried suggestions that didn't hurt ad infinitum.
(1/2)

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>>44777448
(2/2)
>I have managed to do a little organised learning and voice training lately, so that's something.
Yes, that's wonderful news actually! You trying to remove distractions bit by bit is also a good call.
>so I'm trying to keep it more step by step.
Unfathomably important insight, yes. Change needs to be sustainable! It is a bit of advice I have to give incredibly often, it's foundational even. Getting overwhelmed is a disaster scenario. You are doing great!
>>44777925
>maybe I should ask around if it's worth it
A good call I think.
>do you have more ideas in the vein of working with short term memory?
Interstitial journaling comes to mind, an example is shown in this video: https://youtube.com/watch?v=UFidZJhxz84, also check this one out for an alternative approach https://youtube.com/watch?v=5hLnY9L1c-M
>you know? it's very disheartening
I 100% get it, it's why I like offering people with ADHD content from people with it by the way. I want to make you feel less alone in your struggles.
Also, make sure to ping me to talk about your self image next, ok? But I would like to first wrap up the "relationship with others" bit (I have to put that here though else I will forget).
>with being reserved & not having great social skills,
Do you feel it is a matter of trusting others not hurt you in a vulnerable moment?
>I chronically struggle with expressing myself,
Could it be the hard part is articulating your feelings? Picrel comes to mind on this subject for me a lot, I don't know if you find it insightful.
>and with hating myself for how I am around people.
Do you ruminate a lot after talking to people, analyzing things you "might have done wrong"?
>I also don't really have a lot of support or communication in my relationships and I tend to feel like I'm not valuable enough to people to be fully included.
Are there people you feel you could lean on, if you got closer to them?
(1/2 again)

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>>44777925
(2/2)
>making the reason I struggle socially into some really complicated internal reason
A common pitfall, yes. And you are on a limited energy budget, too, which is normal even for NT people when it is about socializing. I burn out quickly talking to too many people I am not super close to, for example.
>>44778211
>any tips for socializing as a grad student.
Sure! What is your work group like, any other grad students or postdocs you'd like to get closer to? Or is it not a very social setting? Does your uni/faculty hold events?
>>44778652
>I'm so gross I've been too depressed to take care of my hygiene
I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time Anon. Remember, any little thing you can do in that state is already a victory, even if it is just brushing your teeth once a day.
>>44780543
>Put on nail polish for the first time in two months.
Glad to hear, Anon! Hope it was a nice change of pace. And yes, trying to fix your sleep hygiene is hard.
>>44782506
>let everything in my garden rot because it rained too often
Sorry to hear Anon, my balcony plants almost all died from mold thanks to the weather, too.

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That is it for tonight. 2:17 today isn't half bad but I doubt I will clock in more than 12 hours of sigging this month. If I manage 15 I would be on par with August, I am already more active than I was July. </report>
>>44783627
Oh I had 4chan troubles recently as well, could it be that they start choking up on Firefox these days?..
>>44792345
Well aren't you cute.
>>44795989
>why should I bother living to my 30s or beyond?
One important reason is that at the age of, say, 25 you spent at least 72% of your life without legal agency. Think about that. Almost three quarters of your life was essentially determined by your parents at that age. You barely started living by 30.
>>44800213
>it's my final year grad too so we're all a bit more stressed about it because unemployment is getting more real very soon.
No wonder, yeah. Tell me, do you wish to keep in touch with some of them? Now would be a great time to get their contacts yet if you haven't. Especially when your waging era starts (and theirs) chances are you'll have a very busy year or two and it will keep you sane being able to talk to like minded people more. You can also, depending on your field, hope that a place that employs a lot of people from [your field] will have some tolerable people too, but I am not one for mixing work and private life more than necessary. Since it's the final year you probs don't have much time meeting people outside of uni so you probably want to try and cling to some people there if you can help it, it greatly helped my mental keeping in touch with some.
>>44804577
>there are milestones that other people easily hit a decade ago that I am still struggling to make,
Oh I fully understand. Be it an environment that slowed you down, executive function problems, or sometimes just rotten fucking luck it is easy to feel like you have an unbearable amount of catching up to do I wager. Tell me, what milestones in particular do you have in mind? What makes you feel overwhelmed, if anything?

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>>44835269
>Hope you recovered well from the wisdom teeth removal, Panty!
Thanks! So far so good. I followed the instructions from the dentist pretty closely, and the places where my wisdom teeth used to be are only a little tender now.

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Turned 26 today, decided to not go out and do alot of thinking, bought myself some drinks and gonna play Super Metroid

u guys think siganon is ok

>>44836099
Oh nice, have a good one! It at least sounds like a relaxing evening, all that self-care stuff and shit.

>>44835330
>could it be that they start choking up on Firefox these days?..
Seems like it

refuelled my zippo after ages. cig time :3
have a fun weekend /sig/ ly all ⊂((・▽・))⊃

>>44835269
alright let's see what goon thread siganons up to

Good night

>>44838464
'tank yuu

pg7

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>>44834226
First day of training is tomorrow.

Wishing you all the best, I am going to sleep now.
Take care and be safe.

pg8 paw :3

>>44841068
cute

i hope to one day be self improving..... i wish i could dress in cute clothes ....

p9

>>44834226
im scared of going outside by myself but i ate at a breakfast place near my grocery store today!! the guy there was rlly lovely and nice, he made me eggs n toast with roasted tomato's, there's another place right in front of my apartment that i think ill go to tomorrow! it's a bit expensive though... but it'll be worth it!!

i ran out of hrt and ive been avoiding getting new pills (pharmacy literally just down the street its such a nothing problem), but im gonna go do it rn!!! im all hyped up raaaaaaaaaaa

pg7 paw :3

i can't tell what i need. i keep trying to do a dopamine detox, but not i'm feeling guilty for doing anything that isn't staring at a wall.

Good night

>>44848671
night

goodnight/sig/

Called in sick, cooked some food (as far as you can call heating up frozen food in a pan "cooking"), washed up right after, did one load of laundry, cleaned the toilet and sink and vacuumed the hallway and living room.
My own room is still a fucking mess, but at least I did a lot today.
How ever the hell I managed to do all that.

Also started writing a reply to the chain of walls, might be done with that this weekend.

How did dysphoria manifest for those of you who took longer to realize?

I realized I was gay as a kid, but it really wasn't until a year ago I began to question my gender. I'm not in any great distress when it comes to this issue as far as I can tell, but I find that some of my issues of self esteem and body image which do cause me great distress can be traced back by this desire to become more feminine. I also experience this odd longing in regards to those people I meet whom I want to emulate. I think to myself, "Why can't I be more like them?" Not infrequently are they women or demonstrating a more traditionally feminine trait. Socially, I also feel like the gender roles seem a bit more inline with who I am. I have read about HRT, a lot of the changes oddly appeal to me. On top of this, I do have some history trying to explore my feminine side that was largely shut out because of other reasons that are too long to go into. My issue is that my analysis of this feels all too clinical and sterile. I'm not sure if I'm simply looking into this too much?

Whenever I have thought about the possibility of transition in the past it all feels like too much hassle. It sounds so taxing mentally, physically, and socially. At the same time, the thought enters my head more than I'd like to admit. I used to think I was comfortable with my gender, but now I'm reexamining it and I've come to the conclusion I never quite felt like I fit. Part of me also feels that I don't want to waste the rest of my life living as somebody I'm not. I feel some discomfort around this subject, because I have never really had many female friends or role models. That 'world' feels almost alien to me. But part of me also thinks, "it can't be that different, right?" We're all human, after all. Then the other side of me says that to reduce us to simply "human" is perhaps discounting the difference in experience which exists.

Thank you for reading my boring blogpost.

>>44834226
First day of retail training went okay.
Two more days this week, 6 hours each.

Hopefully I can get the 20 hours worth of work I am hoping for but I will be happy with the base 12 hours.
The pay per hour should be good ($24 to $29 maybe?).

I plan to save up for the next 3 months, just to see how much I can invest it into my skills.
I want to practice programming daily but I will settle for using Fridays and Saturdays for that.

>>44843576
they are arent they

>>44849590
i realised at 20

i always had bad body image/self esteem which i put down to being fat and unpopular as a kid. it was normal to me so i didn't realise until later how disproportionate those feelings were for me, i didn't have an explanation for why i felt so gross/wrong and if i'd thought more about it i probably would have just taken the blame and thought 'i'm too sensitive' or something.

longing was a big emotion that led me to realising. my egg cracked when i let myself take tiny steps to see where those emotions led me. i didn't ask myself the big question 'am i trans' but i realised i liked referring to myself as 'she' in my own head, i wanted to try being more feminine, etc.

a sense of longing and wanting to emulate others, or through emulation imagine a future for myself, is really core to my feeling of transness. i couldn't imagine a future nor anyone i wanted to be like when i was stuck thinking of myself as a man. 'identity' gets thrown around a lot but my sense of identification with women - wanting to be like them, wanting to grow into an old woman, wanting to experience the same roles they got to - really helped me understand i was trans. it was hard to square logically with what i understood about life living as a boy/man but maybe that's why it helped. it wasn't a logical thing at all and i just happened to be in the right mental space to see that clearly and accept it. i wanted a life as a woman, i looked up to it, and i didn't care what happened to me at all in my life as a man, and the contrast felt clear.

it is really hard and taxing, and yes different but the same. 'femininity' is not that magical and exotic, we're just human, but being able to be yourself and stop suppressing things can feel magical, and otoh your new position in life much lower on the totem pole can be hard to wrap your head around. the world you have to navigate as a woman is kind of alien

i dont really know what to advise but maybe explore 1 thing at a time

page sevening

pg7 paw :3

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Tomorrow.

>>44853537
Thank you.

p6
goodluck ladies

Hi
First time posting on /lgbt/.
Been feeling distraught over my gender and feelings for a friend of mine. Dispite that, I'd like to feel joy.
https://youtu.be/4Df5V40-VYI

>>44855639
welcome

>>44856655
Thanks. Any tips for newcomers?

pg8

Good night

I tried to play piano very, very, very shittily for 30 minutes or so today.

>>44858467
Better than nothing.

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I gotta get on hrt finally, i guess that's a goal.

I'm on my parent's medical plan. i'm not too worried about getting a prescription cuz im in tranada, what i am worried about is my parents knowing about it.

is it possible that they can be notified through their insurance, would paying out of pocket avoid this? would my family doctor have to know and then somehow mention it?

just trying to cover all the angles here

>>44856802
For now, just be polite.

>>44859386
I try.
>>44858467
Its a start, would you continue?
>>44858990
Can't give advice on this, but I wish you well on your journey of transition.
>>44855639
Think i'll tell my friend about this dilemma. Don't really have any other options. Meet this person in the summer, yet I'd like to spend an eternity with them.

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Don't know why I'm posting in here of all places but fuck it, here we go.

I have hEDS, I've had it my whole life, and within the last couple of years, I guess I've accrued enough damage that it's becoming difficult to get around without hurting. I went to the zoo yesterday and managed to walk for about an hour and a half before every joint in my body from my lower back down to my toes started hurting. Ended up needing a wheelchair and it was embarrassing. Right now I'm laying on like three heating pads to try and get the pain under control.

I don't like it. Like it wasn't that long ago that I was fine. It all just happened so fast and now, like... I don't even know if I can work anymore.

I'm... I guess I'm depressed about this.

What should I do, anons?

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I feel like I could fix my life if I had someone to come home to every night who would give me a hug and a pat on the head and tell me I'm doing a good job and I'm loved. But I'll never find that unless I fix myself. But I can't fix myself when every day is just an endless lonely grind with no light at the end of the tunnel.

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>>44860161
I understand this feeling. I felt that way for a long time as well. I was in a few relationships that I hoped would make me feel ready to transform myself the way you’re wanting.

Eventually, I started taking care of myself while I was single, and I’m glad I did. At this point, I don’t think anybody else can want for you what you want for yourself better than you can.

From my perspective, what’s really stopping you is the idea that taking care of yourself and pursuing your personal development won’t get any easier on its own, and that’s making you afraid to start. For me, it’s been like a snowball effect. Doing small tasks has energized me and made me feel ready to tackle bigger ones.

You don’t have to believe me or follow my advice mind you, I’m just offering it on the off chance it helps.

im tired

pg7 paw :3
>>44861085
unrelated and nta. i was at this merch/figurines store in the city and spotted the new panty merch, that reminded me of you!

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Alright, let's get going..
Lot's of munged links because of the word filter..
>>44754347
>44779545
>44789770
>44796777
I'm keeping an eye on your posts as I am catching up, please tell me if I forget to respond to something.
>It's so tiresome to think about all the wasted energy spent on the drama.
I fully understand how that feels. I am often thankful for my poor memory.
>I got a job at the local grocery store.
Oh that would be great news! I hope nothing bad happened since that post, as I'm still catching up.
>>44798478
>Yes.
Is he the type who is shit at teaching yet will be personally offended when you decline/look for help elsewhere? Why must he do this to himself *and* you?
>I am so done with him.
>I refuse to spend my 30s answering to someone else
EXTREMELY valid.
>>44798675
>44805362
>For now, I will turn to my grandfather and some very close friends for guidance on moving forward in my life.
That sounds great actually, do keep me posted on that front!
>I appreciate that now more than ever, things have been getting very heavy lately here.
Things are tough out there, and you're in a difficult position. You are fighting tooth and nail, and it seems like you're finally catching a bit of a break!
>>44823680
>My birthday is almost here
Oh shit, when is it/was it?
I hope your first week at work is pleasant so far.

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gonna write up one or two more..
>>44800531
>>44800868
>Viewed a flat today which I intend to sign on, quite pricy but also extremely nice desu.
Hope it went well!
>Oh heavens no
That's just genuinely offensive, I'm honestly at a loss for words. I do find your generally altruistic mindset very sweet by the way, I mean why the hell did I want to be in academia? I did not care as much about the freedom as I cared about teaching people with genuine interest (which is antithetical to school to me).
>Unrel but just to give PIH credit, while quite slow to get a prescription all their staff have been lovely
That's a real relief to hear at least.
>We hired a guy on ~£7k more than me P/A who decided to repeatedly get high on shift
Jesus Christ that is GRIM compared to the rest you mentioned, and definitely use this to negotiate. What kind of zero communication policy does your management have that these people repeatedly get in? Or do they defer hiring completely to inept HR Karens? This would be comical if it didn't affect you like this.
>Started BBlarping again, only casually
Oh, so like airsoft stuff? Cool! Is it indoorsy or outdoors?
>I will just have to actually budget.
I've started budgeting myself recently, I balanced my books of the last 2+ years in around a month, it's a good habit to have. If your bank allows export to CSV format, I highly recommend making use of that.
>into getting a little into some tabletop stuff
I mean you're in Warhammer country, after all!
>Never apologise for your rambles
I'll try to remember that, thank you..
>It is kind of wild to see how different I am from when I first posted in here back in like mid-late 2023 when I actually was trying to join the Navy.
I know, right! You've got a lot to be proud of.
>>44813427
>I got nothing to show for myself.
I am still glad you posted an update, what would you like to accomplish?
Short term, for example.
>>44820289
>Did 8 miles on the treadmill for a total of 13 today
Awesome, well done Anon!

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>>44816490
>The isolation is crushing.
>I just can't find the courage to do things alone. I'll update again if anything changes.
We're rooting for you, Anon. getting out of the isolation hole is hard, especially depending on your personal circumstances and history. If there is anything you'd like a fresh perspective on, we can try.
>>44824820
>I keep fucking up even when told wgat and how to correct myself
Hm, sounds like executive function issues, is it a recent development?
>>44827100
>I appreciate the reminder.
Hah, you're welcome! I thought of it since I actually missed out on preordering the Helltaker plushies, but I was lucky enough to get one later on! Whatever you pick, feel free to share a picture if you feel like it. Glad you are making progress with your sleep hygiene as well.
>>44830496
>I hate myself so goddamn much.
What do you hate about yourself?
>>44831593
>Is that why I have constant headaches and can't stop crying?
Actually there is a high chance those two are connected yeah.

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Caught up with last thread, at least. Goodnight for now.
>>44831067
>I feel bad.
Physically, emotionally?
>>44832099
>i have no friends nobody understands me and im close to roping.
>my panic attacks have returned and they make me feel like im dying im going insane
I am sorry to hear things have gotten this bad again, you must be very isolated and feeling very fragile right now. I know this isn't the fastest gen but if you want you can get some feelings off your chest and afterwards we can try to discuss how to try and help you recover a little.
>>44834613
Certainly.
>>44835460
That's great news, chances are then it's gonna be fully healed very soon!
>>44836099
Happy birthday, Anon. Glad to hear you're treated yourself.

pg8 paw :3

I don't wanna die as this person.

I wish I could turn back time.

is joing the discord server worth it?

Jerking it off? It depends on if it's in the mood or not

>>44834226
Does anybody have some advice for dealing with anxiety and depression?

Its gotten really bad lately, I can't sleep properly anymore.

My mind won't let me sleep.
I constantly hate on myself for not being better off and I keep punishing myself mentally without actually doing anything to be better or healthier.

I also have a bad habit of chasing dopamine as much a spossible
And I cant take it anymore.

I'm tired of living like a lunatic, I want to live a good life but I can't do that being crazy and broke.

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I dont wanna die as this flat blob that i am now, i have been trying my best to be a good person and to improve myself socially but i just cant stand how i look phisically, for some reason is hard as fuck for me to actually get on a diet and i have been starting to take hormones a week ago and it feels so bad, i feel like i am doing a disfavor to both cis and trans women just by calling myself trans, i dont know where all this hopelessness comes from i just wish i could change it by knowing how the fuck do i commit into looking better and being helathier, i dont wanna doomer for ever, i dont wanna hate myself forever, i wanna have trans friends and cis friends and hang out with them and be a normal person, but it just seems so hard for some reason

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Got so desperate for any kind of validation that I went back on Grindr in the first time in forever. I'm thinking at least some of my persistent distress is just the feeling of being really lonely all the time, even beyond the dysphoria. It's just the dysphoria makes it hard to seek out any kind of connection with people or hell even just a hookup because my body repulses me that much. Even when people are nice to me, it always feels like I'm waiting for the penny to drop or to become the butt of a joke

Haven't really improved this week, and I'll be stuck on shift for 5 days (12 hours each but I've done 2 14-hour shifts inside the last 2 weeks) and I really don't think I'm mentally able to handle it.
>>44863104
>Hope it went well!
Currently waiting on referencing then hopefully moving in late October.
>That's a real relief to hear at least.
I mean it's something, unfortunately GHC (who I'll be swapping to) unironically want to try and use monotherapy with pills on me so I'll be back to DIY with the vague feigning of an actual prescription to compensate, really I should figure out how to fraud my e levels for bloodwork before then but alas.
>Or do they defer hiring completely to inept HR Karens?
Funnily enough, no, but HR are the reason he hasn't been fired yet. We had another guy (not an engineer) who was on bail for assault (while he was off his head on LSD) have his locker searched by police this week, and they found a load of drugs, so that was good.
>Is it indoorsy or outdoors?
Depends on field, mostly just playing in some dump wasteland atm.

And I'm having to rearrange my first aid course because they cancelled it earlier in the week so that's great ;-;.
Honestly, it sucks that I can point to stuff I've achieved, but I'm still pretty miserable.

Good night

I'm making chicken vindaloo right now. Hopefully I'll either play some piano later or get a good nights rest. I haven't really cooked much in close to a year, so this is a really big step. I hope everyone had a good day/night

I don't wanna be alone no more

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>>44835269
>>it feels me with utter disgust
>Yes, that is the shame aspect of it all, but I mean that is more the part I tried to exclude, I am trying to figure out what drives the impulse because I strongly suspect it's coping with stress. Ultimately what you want to do after all is try to attack the problem at the root, you need something to cope with the stress that is actually good for you, that will reduce cravings, while the other core issue (availability) is likely tied to your bodily needs.
I dont know, if there's not much work stress I barely spend anything but if there's a triggering event, I would just go blow my budget until end of work, I hate this yet usually when this happens I am also trying to suppress crying at the same time.
I almost cried today because the phrase "gilded cage" keeps flashing into my mind and threw my mood off for the entire day. I hate this. no one will congratulate me for sleeping late and waking up before dawn to advance my agenda albeit at a glacial pace
>>I have the option to cook, but I probably rather starve myself with water if I find myself too lazy to cook
>>if I am at work, a snack is just 1-3 minutes away.
>There is a good chance that with actual food at work you might find it a lot easier to resist. If we somehow tackle fullness on the one hand as well as emotional well being on the other then chances are you can shake that habit off a lot more easily. Have you made progress catching yourself in the act, by the way?
I am trying but it is not yielding any good results.
Took 3 hours just to post this because I have to cycle IPs to get a good one because email verification keeps saying Invalid/Expired link

seriously how do i start waking up early in the morning? I cant keep falling asleep at like 1-2am and the promptly sleep for 12 hours
how do i make myself wake up SUPER early?

>>44834226
2nd day of training at the grocery store went okay, I had to manage a few panic attacks however so I need to be more careful.

3rd day of training is tomorrow, hopefully I can adapt faster and work on myself during my off hours.

I'm not doing very well mentally but I will do what I can.

Update

Told my friend. They are not upset but did not know how to process this information. We haven't talked much since then.

My mental state is deteriorating faster then ever before. The anguish is unbearable. Feel like i'm going to die.

Never ment for this to happen, just wanted to be a friend.

Im sorry
I love you very much Kaz

>>44860119
Best Option would be to seek medical help. Explain your conditon to them and share your concern of it getting worse. Easier said then done, especially if you lack insurance. That said, its best to receive help before it gets worse.
>>44861085
Really resonate with this perspective. Thank you Panty-anon.
>>44865263
Nor would I want that to occur.
>>44866845
Empathize with you. As said in my previous post, mine has been going downhill. Recently haven't even been able to sleep well myself.

Would recommend to attempt viewing your situation at a different angle. Mentally and physically.
>Mentally
Recall interest/experiences that brought joy.
What's something that you looking forward to?
Think of those who love you, they would want to see you happier.
>Physically
Instead of caving into unhealthy habits, try something new, something you've been putting off that you've been meaning to try (i.e. artistically creative activities)
If that is currently too difficult for you, simply taking the time to be out of the house might help. A walk in the park, Explore a different area of your town/city.

The small things can make a difference.

For sleep? only thing I can really recommend is melatonin, that and spending time away from electronics before bed (if your able to resist that urge)
>>44863224
Your posts make me happy. May I ask how long have you been posting on /sig/?

>>44866568
Was actually the anon that made this question. Sent a request but then withdrew. Not sure if joining would realistically be the best option right now, since I truly feel unwell. But I'd like to, one day.

Just listened to Aeroplane over the sea for the first time. Not bad.
https://youtu.be/hy0B4uBZaOs?si=1xxNbRRpmGAHGTJR

i hate knowing how replaceable i am. i have nothing to offer. i'm a blank slate of a human marked with incidents from the past. i'm nothing but an amalgamation of everyone i've met. i have nothing worth staying for.

>>44835330
i have a couple friends i stay in touch with and so far it feels like i would probably be staying in touch with them for a while.
i would love to cling onto the few relations i have but i feel bad and seem clingy if i reach out to them over and over. ty for the advice i appreciate it siganon <3

as always ly all /sig/mas <3 sending virtual hugs ⊂((・▽・))⊃

>>44870055
>>44866845
Two things that helped me massively is sleeping with plushies (also good if you're dealing with loneliness) and a noise box.

pg7

I hope you all are okay.

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I listed a few more things on eBay yesterday, and sold one already. So far I’ve already earned $40 toward that $250 goal.

I ironed my cloth napkins and washed some dishes earlier today. I also called my psychiatrist’s office and I think I finally got a refill on my stimulants after being out for a couple of extra days.

My mom offered to buy me some new clothes next month. She said, “You’ve earned it.”
I keep putting off buying new clothes because I’m still losing weight, but I need to do it. I also might try altering some of the clothes that have gotten too big.

>>44870523
I have a body pillow in a fuzzy pillow case.

One piece of advice I’ve learned from sleeping without a prescription sleep aid this month: Worrying about how you need to fall asleep does not help you sleep. Just in case anybody else needed a reminder.

Also, if something you want to remember or check is on your mind, just getting up and doing it down can help you relax, but clearing your mind is also a skill you can practice.

Also, check the temperature in your room. Cooler temperatures make you sleepy because the body conserves warmth when we sleep. I sleep with a fan for this reason. I also have a mattress cover that’s supposed to cool it by circulating air better.

>>44870055
> Really resonate with this perspective. Thank you Panty-anon.
Thanks, always glad to help.

Unsure of what to do at this moment.
Long-story-short I’ve fluked about four weeks of a fifteen week semester at community college, mostly due to being too self conscious to attend two of my classes (both of them art classes).
Dropped out of one class (calculus) under the reccommendation of my professor, since I was struggling with the basic algebra that we were going over at the start. Tried to enroll in a simpler algebra or pre-calc class but couldn’t due to admin stuff (could still have enrolled in an audited class but it’s too late). I’ve been doing practically nothing this whole semester because of it, calculus was one of my requirements for transfer and the rest were out of an interest in pursuing art as a major. I dunno what to do with myself at this point. I thought to take things into my own hands and just drop the remaining classes outright to focus on self-educating myself toward the major I’m on, and have been making more progess in. But I also feel as though that’s more an excuse to run away from having to meet any sort of external expectations set before me and recede into myself more (it wouldn’t be the first time).
I have a job and thought to take on more hours in the interim, but I still have a good amount of money from when I was only working and not in school. I also hate my job at this point, but that’s another beast entirely.

pg6 paw :3

>>44873592
Good on you for persisting anyway, despite all the difficulties.

>>44834226
I came here some time not long ago asking about this, but now I really want to know if there is any good place to anonymously talk about the whole "nonbinary" thing. I would love to learn more and talk with actual enbies with their experience. It could be here on 4chan, it could be on some other place, I just want a good place to talk about this that doesn't leave much of a digital footprint.

Goodnight /sig/

how much should i pay for laser hair reduction for my face and neck?

>>44874776
ehy not just make a thread?

55 lbs down

>>44875221
cool

Good night