I don't think I have dysphoria. I am Amab but sometime want to be a woman. How do I know if I have dysphoria
if it hurts
>>44764306No that's just the depression
>>44764306It's on and off. Most of the time I just feel indifferent to my body but sometimes I feel really bad about it but mostly I'm fine ig, its not debilitating
>>44764320I don't have depression so that good. At least I don't think I have depression
>>44764237For me it's weird. On one hand, I love fucking girls and guys (only topping), while on the other, I sometimes wish I looked like senna from league of legends (im black). I dont hate being male, the aging around the face does suck though. Wish I could afford therapy to talk to someone about this. Or I've just been watching too much porn. Who knows...
>>44764237Can relate. A lot of the time I hear trans folk talk about their dysphoria like it's fucking apocalyptic, and I just don't feel it on that level. Still tho, I feel indifferent at most to being a guy, sometimes sad. I do think I would have preferred to be a woman if given the choice but idk if that's really dysphoria or just AGP.
>>44764974>I do think I would have preferred to be a woman if given the choice but idk if that's really dysphoria or just AGP.This pretty much. I'm bi but if I were also a bottom, I'd probably just be a hrt femboy. Unironically the only this stopping me really.
>>44764805Personally I'm more of a bottom. I'm pretty sure I get meta attraction from men topping me. As for watching too much porn, Blanchard on Graham linehams podcast said that porn may be the thing that makes you realise your trans but it doesn't cause being trans>>44764974I think I can pretty confidently say that I would have preferred being born a woman. Generally I just feel indifferent and kinda disassociate myself from my body but whenever I think about being trans the realisation hits and I become mega conscious about my body and just feel like shit. Long term transitioning might help but in the short term do I want to feel depressed everyday? Or would I rather just bury it all.
Like as you said other trans people describe dysphoria as some terrible day to day crushing feeling but realistically I would probs be fine suppressing any feelings I have without Kms or anything
>>44764237literally any amab can be convinced he has dysphoria. Even chads are being convinced they have dysphoria
cis men actively enjoy being men, 'indifferent at best' isn't how you're supposed to feel about your gender. i'm not telling all y'all to troon out, but do try doing some gender exploration & therapy and see if you can find joy somewhere, let that be your guide (sorry, very gay advice)
>>44766130>t. Anon from >>44764805What's the difference between enjoying being a man and being indifferent to it? Genuinely. And in regards to exploring gender, how would I go about doing that?
>>44764457>It's on and offso it does. transition. it will only get worss
>worssFUCK ME
>>44766130>’indifferent at best' isn't how you're supposed to feel about your genderthis is just blatantly wrong
>>44766788on it, chief. sub or dom?
>>44764805just start hrt. you're only delaying the inevitable
>>44766805>indifferentis a normal way to feel about your gender>indifferent at bestisn't>>44766820bullet
>>44764974>like it's fucking apocalypticactively trying to transition brings it starkly into focus, which makes it a lot more painful in the short term
>>44764974>>44765108>I would transition but I'm worried it's agpliterally whyagp is a product of real dysphorianame one cis man with agp
>>44765299>>44765318>t. John
>>44766062Are you telling me I don't?>>44766753I've begun to get to that conclusion>>44766130Yeah ig. I want to explore my gender. I want to be a woman but i feel disgusted in myself whenever I humour that possibility >>44766868Whenever I think about transitioning I become extremely critical of myself and start hating everything. Part of the indifference I have to my body is honestly semi-consciously built up by trying to avoid reckoning with my body.>>44766887Idk, I just feel like it's a fetish or something and I end up feeling terrible. It's funny considering I don't even think about sexual stuff much but rather just want to be a woman in non sexual ways. Despite that it still feels like I'm some kind of moided deviant fetishist
>>44767088I dont want to be a John :(
>>44764237One sign that was like really crystal clear to me was like imagine you adopt a child in the future and you have to call yourself 'dad' around it. Some of its first words are calling you 'dada' That triggers like such a massive amount of disgust in me while the inverted scenario feels neutral or even comforting
>>44764237Desiring the charecteristics of the other sex is dysphoria. . . Sorry to break it to you
>>44767333Is it? Idk I feel like there is an acceptable amount of wanting to be the opposite gender before you're trans >>44767294That helps a bit. I would definitely prefer being called mom but like with everything my feelings on it are quite mild. Like sure i would prefer it but i can also feign indifference atp, if you know what I mean?
>>44764237Its a redflag if its bad enough to ask trannies about it
>>44767280you're on the right track to be
>>44767262you are trans. go to hrtgen and get on diy now
>>44767376YOU ARE TRANSOUAREATRANNY
>>44766788>FUCK MEI dont wanna
>>44766833But the thought of being fucked by a man is disgusting. The thought of being a lesbian is also disgusting. Plus I don't want to be a rapist
>>44767758then be volcel forever. the alternative is worse
>>44764805Of all the characters to get gender envy from, her, really? Even just talking about black women I can think of so many better picks
>>44768463Not a lot of cool black women out there anon>>44767893>then be volcel forever. the alternative is worseWhat's a volcel?
>>44768799voluntary celibate
I have come to the conclusion that I am probs trans
>>44764320actually, all mental disorders are just depression in disguise! have you tried touching grass and going to the gym?if i could press a button to erase you from this world without a trace i wouldn't because that would be too painless!>>44766130this is horseshit lol
>>44764306how much tho?
>>44767376The acceptable amount is the point where you would prefer to have feamle charecteristics to the male ones you have right now
>>44766788gladly
>>44764237I wanted to be trans found out later my dad used me as a flesh toy when i was knocked out on ghb at 11 to 14 and molseted me at 6 what where you and he used my cock and back as cigarette ash tray thought i was a girl for a while got flash backs from my ass bleeding from fucking my didlo too hard and now i wanna write a manifesto and commit christchurch
>>44772522any
>>44772522enough to impede your life. like when i was in high school i would sometimes see my classmates just like. being female. and i would feel incredibly jealous and frustrated and i would loathe myself for being male and it would be in the middle of a lecture and i would just not be able to focus at all and i would break all my pencils
>>44776020a lot of us don't have it that bad though (or at least don't let the feelings impede our performance that much) and transition is still necessary
I find it odd how fast my dysphoria went from manifesting solely as a fetish to revealing itself in other ways. Now I am hyper aware of every single little thing that reminds me that I'm not a woman. Body hair growing back so fast even though you shaved it 12 hours ago? Not a woman. Seeing what women wear and thinking how stupid I would look in those outfits? Not a woman. Having exclusively male coded interests? Well, women can participate in those, but they usually don't. Women who don't know me taking justified precautions around me in public?They do it because I am a man, and I don't even appear threatening. I'm just autistic and I hate conflict. Literally EVERYTHING about my body? Man man man.I remember thinking about being a woman even before I hit puberty. Once I did, I definitely got a gender transformation/bodyswap fetish. When some anons on another board say they would use a woman's body as their pleasure toy, I said I would fully immerse myself in her personality, hobbies, occupation(s), maintain and cultivate her interpersonal relationships, and see what kind of struggles she goes through. They called me a tranny for saying all that, so I guess maybe I am?I can't believe this is happening to me. I used to be a gooner supreme. Now at most I masturbate twice a week. Fetish/porn can only serve you for so long. It also doesn't help that I'm a failed male, so the idea of being a woman sounds very appealing to me.
>>44778074it's over get on diy now
>>44778297I maybe would have by now but executive dysfunction is killing me from the inside out.
>>44778366do one a day. then you'll have done seven things in a week, which is better than having done zero things. and pursue medication for it
>>44778402I really appreciate your concern. However, I would like to get my own place, a better paying/less painful job, and a few other things before I start with hormones. But even doing those things feels painfully impossible to me.
>>44778414why? it's extremely easy to hide at first
>people born in 2009 can post here next yeargrim
>>44764237the definitive wall is when u take e imo, if u feel entirely utterly repulsed then maybe dont but if ur doing it in the first place chances r ur a tranny whos just psyching herself 2 seem like she doesnt have dysphoria
>>44778414Ill start hormones if u do
Has ANYBODY had a year that went well for them and stands out as "my year fr"?
>>44764237If it hurts it is dysphoria.
>>44783277How do I know if it hurts?
>>44783338This desu
>>44764237Pro tip for the next time you start a bait thread - normal people do not use terms like 'Amab', they're normal-ass people. Only freaks and weirdos otherize themselves.
>>44783369This isn't bait, I am 100% serious. Ig you can consider me not normal but this doesn't somehow make this thread bait>>44783368I wrote desu not desu idk why it posted like that
>>44783383Oh you can't say t b h????
>>44781722no one here is the type of person to remember a year by all the things that went right in it
>>44783338>>44783368if you keep thinking about it
>>44766788lmao get rekt
how come transman can detransition so easily? what's their secret ?
>>44784155At this point I don't know whether dysphoria or estrogen is hurting me more
>>44769458Congrats anon
>>44786009guessing dysphoria cause why would estrogen be hurting you?
>>44786586>cause why would estrogen be hurting you?Because it's more likely of me to be cis and thus estrogen probably is giving me reverse dysphoria
>>44786614that's not how probability works dumbass. it's more likely that a random person picked out of the entire world's population will be cis. it's more likely that a random person picked out of all the people who often want to be the opposite sex will not be cis.
>>44786770I believe I was wrong about wanting to be a woman. Thought it would make life bearable and it did the exact opposite
>>44786811how so
>>44787146I saw how trans women who stopped repping finally realized themselves through hard work and perseverance, and I thought I could do the same. My mistake was believing I was anything but a man. I can't even actually want to be a woman as trans women do
>>44787231>I feel depressed and hopeless so I'm not translol
>>44787304Did you skip over my last two sentences?
>>44787316I don't see how the last two sentences deviate from the first sentence they're just depression lol
>>44787345I wouldn't be depressed if I never would've attempted the impossible by transitioning as a cis man. I fail at my goal to transition precisely because I must be cis and my lack of self acceptance is the reason I'm depressed.
>>44787377no you would definitely still be depressed if not moreso because at least now you're not masculinizing still
>>44787454Wouldn't masculinization only make me happier because I'm cis? Wouldn't I feel more like myself if I didn't try to someone who I'm not? I haven't and can't even come out to anyone about doing any of this because I know I'd just be lying to them if I told them that I'm somehow a "woman"
>>44787480you're not cisyou're just depressedyou can be trans and unmotivated to transitionit's a thing
>>44787544You're ignoring the most obvious sign that I'm cis. I don't want to be a woman. I can't want to be a woman. I'll only become more and more repulsed by myself and my actions if I actually allow myself to "transition". I can't even enjoy any of the effects of estrogen. In fact, everything has only gone downhill since I started. Even the most depressed trans person wouldn't desperately try to detrans
>>44787595>most reverse tocd shit I ever read in my lifeI'm sure you'll be fine. how do you like the changes so far?
>>44787618I hate everything. Because I am cis. I can't enjoy it even if I wanted to. If I would've locked in, I probably would be passing to cissoids by now, but I don't even want to touch makeup or try any feminine clothes. They all make me feel even more disgusting. Having softer skin and small boobs is pointless if you're a man. All I'm doing is hiding myself even more now, both from myself and others.
>>44787650you're making it impossible to determine if you're actually cis or trans and that makes me think you're trans because no one's ashamed of being cis. I guess this is just something you still haven't learned to accept. give it time. maybe talk to someone about it, idk. I'm sure you'll be fine, I mean>If I would've locked in, I probably would be passing to cissoids by nowis cause for hope if nothing else
>>44787943All I know is that I am a man and that I hate myself, which in turns makes me hate being a man too, despite being wired for it. I am just running away from myself.>is cause for hope if nothing elsedoesn't mean I won't be a hon
>>44788052if you pass you are by definition not a hon
also why do you hate yourself if not because you are a man
also I need to sleep immediately my eyelids are pallbearers
>>44788059you can look like a hon an still fool cissoids. They're not especially smart (I'm proof).>>44788067because I am a parasite and a liar. I never had any issues with being a man until I started to hate myself for who I was being. I became ungrateful with what I had, because I was foolish and believed that I could run from myself, instead of owning up to my mistakes and growing as a person.>>44788091good night and sleep tight. If the thread is still somehow up when you wake up, I'd be curious to know your reply again
>>44764237That's dysphoria
>>44769458based
>>44788451>I pass to cissoids but I look like a hon to myselfevery passing/cishonpassing tranny says this you're not special>because I am a parasite and a liar. I never had any issues with being a man until I started to hate myself for who I was being. I became ungrateful with what I had, because I was foolish and believed that I could run from myself, instead of owning up to my mistakes and growing as a personyou can still grow as a person lol nothing's stopping you. if you genuinely would be fine as a cis man go for it, but I highly doubt you actually would be
>>44788451are you op
>>44769458Nevermind, I'm not>>44792395No that wasn't me
>>44794012>I am disgusting because I am a man and a hon!!>I'm cislmao
>>44788451post litter
>>44794560I think you're mixing up me with another poster although tbf I also feel pretty disgusted with my body and me generally
>>44794606I'd still put money on you being trans
>>44794730Why?
>>44792361>every passing/cishonpassing tranny says this you're not special I'm not passing at all right now though. Still look like a man and I've done nothing about it except complain.>you can still grow as a person lol nothing's stopping you. if you genuinely would be fine as a cis man go for it, but I highly doubt you actually would beYou're right, but if I'm actually cis then all of this is a hindrance to me. I had a pretty rough time yesterday and my worst days are always those in which I fully believe I'm a cis man. Thank you for being so sensible yesterday.>>44792395no>>44794595no
been having thoughts abt starting hrt recently
>>44794740>>44769458
>>44795223no worries. just take it one step at a time>>44795271do it
>>44795626nvm, this thread reminded me why I'll never be trans >>44796174
>>44764306What if I don't feel anything?
>>44796635>mdd person transitions>still mddsuch things happen, not everything has to do with estrogen lolol
seriously though what about that says "you'll never be trans". complete nothingburger
>>44795331I was wrong and desperate. It's better for me to not be trans
>>44796768it's not your choice, you either need to transition or you don't. and it sounds like you need to
>>44796782I don't want to ruin my life and career just to play dress up
>>44796746it reminded me that it's impossible for me to imagine ever managing to self actualize and improve my life if I keep transitioning. It feels inevitable for me to end like the op of the other thread, if not worse. More precisely, it reminds me that I don't and definitely won't ever be able to see myse as a woman which will make transition a burden instead of freeing myself of one
>>44796991>playing dress up is when important medical treatment>>44796998well, maybe you can. obviously I can't promise you that but many people do get better from what you're going through. and if it is doable, don't you want to end up a person you're actually capable of liking instead of one that repulses you?
>>44796674well if you don't feel anything then your apathy could be masking tranny symptoms but also statistically it is way more likely that you're not a tranny imo
>>44797102>and if it is doable, don't you want to end up a person you're actually capable of liking instead of one that repulses you?I do, if it is doable. That feels less and less like a possibility though because I'm just growing increasingly disgusted and repulsed by myself.The effects are exactly how I expected them to be. It's just that I don't feel like I'm supposed to have any of them>important medical treatment all of this is just a flight of fancy that started in my 20s and I flew too close to the sun
>>44797102Important medical treatment which will fuck up my life and make me completely isolated from anyone else
>>44797394>statistically it is way more likely that you're not a trannyno, statistically it is way more likely that someone having repeated thoughts that they may be a tranny is in fact a tranny
>>44797509important treatment nonetheless. and you don't have to tell anyone
>>44797451>don't feel like I'm supposed to have any of themwdym by thisalso I gotta sleep
>>44797587I still feel like I'm supposed to be a man and having soft skin and small breasts didn't change this feeling at all. I can't help but hide them all as much as I can, especially around women
>>44797620>feel like I'm supposed to be a managain, according to what. your instincts? your shame? god?>I can't help but hide them all as much as I can, especially around womensame tbhon
>>44797647>again, according to what. your instincts? your shame? god? I'm assuming my instincts. I do feel shame, but I doubt shame alone could make me feel this way. After all, I can easily imagine trans women being ashamed about their transition but they're still trans. Definitely not god though.Good night btw
>>44797707idk, I'll leave you with this, to I guess try to divorce the question of transition from the idea of 'yourself'.what does the person you wouldn't hate being look like? purely in terms of the body (so no social considerations at all) what would you choose to have been born as if you could do it all over?
>>44797570Sooner or later I won't be able to hide it, and I would have to tell others if I ever wanted to be in a relationship or anything like that. I don't want to cast my myself into a life of celibacy and isolation, atp I'd rather live like this now and Kms if it gets too bad
>>44797809This was the thought experiment that got me to start hrt in the first place because that person would never be a man. That unfortunately doesn't change the fact that I believe myself to have the inner workings of a man
>>44797940I did hrt with this mindset too. I think ive found that i desperately wish i had the mind of a woman, but dont. Im not jealous of women, im jealous of trans women that overcome their male nature and becoming some more, or never had that nature in the first place. After years of trying, that never happened, and hrt was a last ditch effort. Im still someone that watched porn, and that irreversibly changed the way i think. The only thing waiting for me in transition is to become a weird pervert that wanted to enter womens spaces to feel less ashamed.
>>44798136I feel the exact same and it makes me want to kms. I really don't know what to do anymore
>>44798284Its a pretty boring conclusion. I dont wanna kms but god damn its unsatisfying. If i could guarantee that i wasnt late enough to change my brain chemistry by taking HRT, i think i would stay on it, but i stayed in denial until the end of college so i might be fucked.
>>44798420Actually fuck this. I'll change my nature, or ill fuck up my life. This time ill own it. Death to my enemies, woe be all who stand in my way. Ill kill u ;p RAHH
>>44798420>Its a pretty boring conclusion.It is, and that only makes me more jaded. Unfortunately I couldn't change my nature and hrt only made it impossible to ignore that I have a male mind
>>44797559How do I know whether that's truly the case for me?
>>44797559I dont care about statistics. Joy will be found in taking ownership of ones life, not doing what you think you should. Even if its likely im trans, the choice will always be mine. I want some of the things that come with womanhood but when I try to be myself, i realize i vibe with guys more. I wanted to be socialized to be more of a woman when i was younger but chickened out and now im someone thats more comfy as a guy. No amount of wanting to be a woman seems to offset that fact.
