George RR Martin, his age continues to increase, but what about his girth? Gaining? Losing? Haven’t kept track.

>>24681474
he's lost weight recently, though when you're that old it's not always a good sign

Does George ever remember that he has a pair of functioning balls and that gallantry should be admired rather than condemned?
>>24681482
To be fair, at his weight, having that much weight is as bad a sign as losing so much.
May Allah protect him, for I fear he was not praying as much as he should have been.

>Another interesting thing from the con, at one point in a panel GRRM was commenting that he didn’t like how in a lot of fantasy stories various races are all defined by a single personality (i.e. all orcs are evil, all elves are wise, etc), whereas it would be more realistic for various individuals within a race to have different personalities, viewpoints, etc. Some quick-witted audience member asked him how that idea applied to the Others in his own books, to which he replied, “I’m not gonna answer that.” Food for thought.

So there are ice demons not hell-bent on the destruction of all things warm?

>>24681616
George is a hypocritical hack who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about or what he’s doing

>>24681616
The Others are ice elves who hate humans because they view humans as stupid and evil

>>24681616
The night queen was a good other who just loved human cock and the tales of her and the night king being evil is propaganda

>>24681616
Ice will be the lesser evil compared to Fire. The Others might be a necessary force needed to defeat Euron. Also Jon seems to be the new Night King so maybe he's forced to marry the Other Queen at the end of the series in exchange for them sparing humanity
Fire-associated factions:
>Euron
>Daenerys
>Quaithe
>Melisandre
>Moqorro/Victarion
>Lady Stoneheart
Ice-associated factions:
>Others
>House Stark
>House Reed
>Bloodraven/House Blackwood
>Jon Snow
>Braavosi Conspiracy (Faceless Men, Iron Bank, Petyr Baelish)

what's the real reason grrm is delaying so much?

Walk with me, my sweet summer child, and hear the tale of fat pink masts jutting into sopping wet myrish swamps and black nipples brushing against silk until her cunt became the world while in the privy the princess guzzled arbor gold and shat but the more she drank the more she shat until she was shitting brown water and around her the planks of the ship groaned like a fat man taking a shit while she cursed the gods and nuncle smiled as he broke his fast on black bread, bacon burned black, and mulled wine while capon-grease dribbled down his chin and onto the boiled leather of his jerkin for she was wet with love and did she not know words are wind and dark wings bring dark words and a lannister always pays her debts and mayhaps this is nothing but a mummers farce and useless as nipples on a breastplate and the princess has been fucking lancel and moonboy for all nuncle knows and he is the blood of the dragon for the night is dark and full of terrors but where do whores go and jon snow knows nothing and near enough makes no matter so nuncle smiled and dipped the heel of his bread into clam chowder and prayed for half a hundred more heh har HODOR

GRRM. It rhymes with worm.

Breaking news! After much thought, GRRM has agreed to allow Brandon Sanderson to complete his series! Sanderson has released an excerpt for his newly written chapter of The Winds of Winter! Spoilered below for those who want to experience it when the book is out.


>The Winds of Winter by Brandon Sanderson.

>Samwell I

>Samwell Tarly had heard tell of the clitoris. They were in the books that made him tremble and squeak as a boy, and he had once asked his father Randyll Tarly maladroitly about it.

>"Sam, my boy," said Randyll. "You are asking me questions that man was not meant to contemplate."

>"Oh," said Sam, "That makes me feel very confused."

>"Yes," said Randyll in a voice that suggested he was deep in thought. "There is much about women that are akin to hidden spells in the deep lore you must seek advanced magic of in Dragonstone to understand!"

>"Advanced magic of Dragonstone?" exclaimed Sam excitedly. "That's much more interesting than this clitoris! Can I know more? I feel very interested!"

>But father had sent him to the Wall shortly after. Now Gilly the Wildling stood without her clothes on before him. This made Sam feel uncomfortable and so he told her so.

>"This makes me feel very uncomfortable."

>"Do you not wish to be sexually interested in my naked body?" said Gilly.

>Sam blushed bashfully.

>"I'm sure you have a very.... fine clitoris, Gilly. That makes me feel... heated."

>"They say Jon Snow is the Grand Maester of the Lord's Kiss... would you... maybe... like to...?"

>"This makes me feel scared!" cried Sam. "Do you know the deep magic of Dragonstone, Gilly?"

>Gilly put her clothes back on instantly.

>"This is much more interesting than my clitoris! What are the rules of this magic?"

Is R'hllor a legitimate deity or just a glass candle user trolling the likes of Melisandre?

>>24681616
Enter the grrm carnival of ideas were every possible story idea and element is crammed into a hypothetical book that’ll never release

>>24681826
>"They say Jon Snow is the Grand Maester of the Lord's Kiss
Kek

>>24681776
He hinged his endgame plan on bringing Jon back but then he realised brain transfer to a dog is a retarded excuse for this Gandalf the White shit

>George finishes a Storm of Swords
>Instead of writing Feast he writes "A Wolf Among Lions"
>This book is purely Jaime, Tyrion, and Cercei (Kevan epilogue)
>Adds maybe a few more chapters to what they would already have from Feast and Dance
>This serves to tie loose ends
>Feast takes place after five year time skip
Thoughts?

>>24681903
Oh and Jon, thus the "Wolf" part.

I actually like Feast but Dance was so boring I couldn't finish it.

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>>24681455
> your grace, if I could ask...
> WHAT?
> if I could just...
> I CAN"T HEAR YOU WAY UP HERE!

>>24681620
>>24681843

These guys get it.

>>24681826
At least Sanderson finishes his books.

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Did GRRM really plan to make Bran as much of a creepy autist in the books as he was in the show?

>>24682319
Probably not, they had no idea what to do with him. Just like GRRM.

GRRM at Bubonicon: Winds is 70% done.

Lol he said he was 75% done back in 2022

Fuck this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpqekiY03IQ

>>24682430
Yeah, fuck carmine and fuck preston

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the 75% done figure was already debunked a while ago

https://youtu.be/Yg_a-5Zy58g?si=7MVxg-uTPZfUX3Gb&t=1325

>>24682430
Never seen an author hate his most successful series like GRRM does

>>24681616
George wanted a quick dunk but even the orcs in LOTR had personality traits while being evil. The White Walkers want to kill us...why???

>>24681776
He didn't plan the series fully, and now nothing makes sense.

>>24682559
dream of spring will explain it all :^)

>>24682559
>I'm not gonna answer that (He doesn't know)

GRRM here.

Can you please stop shitting on me?

Thanks.

>>24682319
He's eight and already breaking all the warg taboos without knowing.

>>24682619
No

>>24682619

Can you please finish the books?

>>24682619
I only recognize the title GURM of House Worm, the First of His Name, King of the Cocks and the Cunts and the Capon, Lord of the Brown Water, and Protector of the Fat Pink Mast!"

>>24682319
>>24682738
Odds on him fucking Meera in Hodor’s body?

>>24683181
Winds is taking so long because Gurm has been trying to write a version of this scene that his publisher will accept

>>24683181
>Jojen is missing
>Meera panics and withdraws from Bran, scared and worried
>Bran doesn't know what to do to make her feel better
>"I know! Hodor can hug her like my parents hugged me!" he thinks
>Starts feeling something in his pants
>Fucks her
>Bloodraven throws him a party, as he's now a man

Imagine If Azor Ahai is actually half targ and half summer islander. Part BBC and part BWC. A song of ice and fire.

>>24683374
He's actually a chinaman from Yi Ti

>>24683330
Bloodraven and Bran watching all the rapes in history with a bucket of popcapons

>>24683380
*descended from Yi Ti chinamen

>>24683408
>you were so beautiful in your white wedding dress

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>>24683516

Ser Pounce is Euron is disguise.

Judge my Kingsguard:
Lyn Corbray
Mandon Moore
Gerold "Darkstar" Dayne
Jaime Lannister
Meryn Trant
Robert Strong
Loras Tyrell

I went for a mix of skill, violence and edginess

>>24683668
Pretty fucking good. Although I would add in Selmy. He shits on everyone else there.

>>24682559
>I’m not gonna answer that (He doesn’t want to spoil the mystery)

>>24682430
The worst part is he's probably not lying, like at all, and no the--
that's the second worst part actually, the FIRST worst part that's actually the worst is that it's not at all because of new pages i.e George going "Shit this is going to have to be an additional 1000 pages" it's because EDITING is a huge part of the process.
It would not surprise me if he cut down 15%, and rewrote 10%, because he edits things himself.
This is if we take him at face value of course, if he is not lying because it was already finished, then he actually has the backing for it to make sense in the worst way possible.

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>>24681455
never watched the tv series
about 50 chapters in the first book
and I can almost swear, half of the characters are like pic related

will this fatty ever finish Dunken & Egg? it was far more enjoyable

>>24682430
It is so over...

Theory: Bittersteel was actually unironically telling the truth about everything and Daeron II truly was the illegitimate son of Aemon the Dragonknight.
>Aegon IV, Aemon and Naerys directly mirror Robert Baratheon, Jaime and Cersei.
>Aemon and Naerys is literally an in-universe chivalric love story like Jonquil and Florian the Fool
>Aemon Targaryen, the maester, himself Daeron II’s grandson, even casually entertains the rumours saying Aemon was either his uncle or his father depending on which way you’re inclined - and he says this unironically with zero sarcasm or judgement.
>Aegon IV’s nickname is the unworthy, GRRM has a habit of having unworthy lines like that of Maegor or Aegon II dying out. Aegon IV was unworthy of the line of the kings, is the subtext.
The Blackfyre vs Targaryen struggle is the struggle between the legally legitimate line and the predestined saviour line of the PTWP prophecy. Which is why Bloodraven had to kill all the Blackfyres by any means necessary, he knew the truth.

What if winds comes out and it just sucks?

>>24684193
It probably will suck at this point.

>>24684183
Funny how Jon "nor was he Aemon Targaryen" Snow is such a mirror of Jaime, and Naerys's character description is "Dany but she got religion". Who's Aegon IV of the kids' generation? Not Faegon VI, I'm sure, he isn't gluttonmaxxed

>>24683826
(the mystery is that he doesn't know)

>>24684417
Faegon’s fat bastard harem corruption arc is waiting for him to take the throne. The Illyrio genes and the Aegon IV genes are going to kick in at the same time.

>>24684417
Aegon, Aemon, Naerys
Bran, Jon, Sansa
this is known

>>24684499
Yyrkoon, Elric, Cymoril
it all makes sense

>>24684506
But Jon’s the traditionalist, masculine warrior that’s absolutely chomping at the bit to rule somewhere like Yyrkoon while Bran’s the magically empowered, physically impaired nerd that’s too enlightened to give a fuck about ruling like Elric - and yet is tragically fated to rule anyway.

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>>24684566
That is true, but Yyrkoon is also a sorcerer and the parentages line up better (Bran and Sansa are siblings, Jon is their cousin)
Not to mention the whole "White Wolf" deal

Perhaps the personality mismatch you laid out will be corrected as post-resurrection Jon and post-weirwood networked Bran, making Jon a physically impaired ice zombie resurrected with fire magic, while Bran takes over the bodies of others and manipulates history to become what he never could have been, such as being a strong warrior while taking over Hodor's body

The subversion of expectation will be that in this iteration of Elric's story, Yyrkoon (Bran) will actually gain the Ruby (Iron) throne as Elric (Jon) goes into exile or dies

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>>24684499
>>24684506
>Sansa
>Cymoril

Jonsabros.....not like this....

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which character will become wights in next books?

>>24681915
It has the most fascinating chapters ever like Varamyr's prologue, Bran at CoTF cave and weirwood visions, Roose and Theon and Ramsay, Victarion emerging with the burning hand, some of the most iconic moments like "the North remembers", Cersei walk of shame, Dany at Daznak pit, Jon Snow assassination etc. Aaand then there's the remaining 70% of the book which are so full of pointless lore dumps and wheel-spinning that i'm not even sure why the editors didn't tell Martin that he lost his mind.

>>24684480
Based. Faithcels can cry about it.

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What are George's kinks and political power-fantasties?

>>24684992
His kinks are lactating breasts, cuckoldry, gangbang, rape, big brown nipples, incest, hebephilia, necrophilia, beastiality, redheads, incest, cunnilingus, women dying in childbirth, juices/grease running down chins and moonboy for all I know. His political power-fantasy is an 8 year old running a surveillance state.

>>24685000
>His political power-fantasy is an 8 year old running a surveillance state.
From Big Brother to Little Brother.

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Can I get a good asoiaf audiobook PLEASE
I looked everywhere and all that I got was
>roy dotrice, who makes everyone talk like a pirate
>sharon grunwald, an old hag who can't read for shit
>random newbies with xbox mics on youtube (last seen ahorse/DavidReadsASoIaF included)

The only decent one was Gleb, and that fool only read book 1 until chapter 50 or so, 7 months ago.

famous books get TONS of narrations, but not this?

>>24684992
Step 1: He likes diarrhea a lot.
Step 2: He thinks that monarchy survived for centuries based on luck when if the peasants starve, the king starves soon after, and even post Renaissance societies were not immune to bad harvests. His power fantasy is some sort of enlightened dictator who rules for the people, but he never studied the French Revolution so he doesn't know how it ends for his Robespierre.
Step 3: I think he fucked this one up because he doesn't really have a magic system, it's just kind of whatever's cool at the time.

>>24685028
>Doesn't like Roy Dotrice
Filtered

>>24685028
DavidReadsASOIAF is based and fixed most of his audio problems by ASOS

>>24685028
The spinoffs get quality readings. Harry Lloyd did Dunk & Egg very well, Iain Glen did The Princess and the Queen and I think The Rogue Prince.

>>24684636
> Yyrkoon (Bran) will actually gain the Ruby (Iron) throne as Elric (Jon) goes into exile or dies
Isn’t that exactly what happened? Until yrkoon got cucked by his sister?

>>24685028
They need to hire fucking Andy Serkis, his LOTR readings are fucking GOATed

>>24685073
that puzzled me and annoyed me as much, non of them dared to read asoiaf
>>24685058
>is a filthy american AND make 0 effort
into the dumpster he goes

>>24685118
>music and sound effects in an audiobook
fuck that, Rob Inglis is the only option

>>24684819
Don't worry, Sansa isn't based and will never rule. Arya, on the other hand...

Satin’s fuzzy nuts

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What is this foreshadowing?

>>24685800
a game of thrones, a clash of kings, and a storm of swords are so damn good. I've mentioned it before in these threads, but it's a crying shame what happened to the later books/the series in general. All of the awesome moments just pissed away in pathetic dribble.

>>24685800
That she'll be forced to do things she hates because life is fundamentally unfair.

>>24685865
Everything in the last two books flows from the first three.

Okay what the actual FUCK actually happened to Aerea in Valyria?

>>24685878
a feast for crows and particularly a dance with dragons are gurm at his worst. endless POVs, and largely pointless, meandering plot which is nothing like the first three books.

>>24685883
The stranger smited her

Her, her.
It rhymes with cur.

>>24681776
His "garden variety" writing that he shilled backfired and now we have 2 books of pure bloat where instead of the plot moving forward it meanders while a fuckton of new plotlines and characters get introduced

>>24685670
When i become king I'm going to ban all boywhores.

>>24686277
He could have made this work if he actually gave a shit about his ip and wasn't seduced by wealth and fame and hollywood.

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>>24685000

>>24685175
None of those are in the Serkis readings

>>24685883
There are creatures that can implant or impregnate (not like youre thinking) eggs into organisms for mass reproduction. Like the Parasitic Wasp. Aerea probably got attacked, Balerion fought off whatever did it and wounded it, and when they burst from Aerea like an exploding watermelon they insta-died in the water, and they had tiny hands and faces.

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>>24683668
>Lyn Corbray

is book Tyrion 4chan or reddit?

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I have found a truly silly crossover

>>24681826
for WoT
really the character that brando sando fucked up the most was easily Mat
I don't really blame him, Mat is strongly enough the most military coded of any character in WoT
not in a fighting sense but in that his archetype is only really found in the military
the only person close to Mat I've found in something is Ray from Generation Kill, if that makes any sense

>>24687528
I never understood GRRM’s worldbuilding in Essos
Inland you have all this lush arable land with thousands of years of history and 400 years of freedom from dragonnigger oppression and there’s just… nothing there? It’s not even close to the Dothraki sea so it’s not like horseniggers are a particularly good excuse either - especially when there used to be vast inland polities in Sarnor and Essaria that they destroyed.
What happened to the rest of it?
They AGOT mod for CK2 tries to make sense of this and fill in the blanks and the result is a continent where the Dothraki are never a meaningful threat to anyone west of the Rhoyne, as the only ones that ever show up are stray landless micro stacks.

>>24687546
population densities have always been retarded in this setting
westeros too but even moreso in essos

>>24687505
He’s banned from Reddit tier, somewhere between both erring on the Reddit side.
4chan characters
>Craster
>The Greyjoys
>Darkstar
>Littlefinger
>That Hightower guy that hasn’t left his house in decades
>Jorah Mormont
>Walder Frey
>Ramsay Bolton

>>24687564
idk he DID rape that prostitute
actually that's pretty standard for reddit, redditors act like they are above everything but they still have a shitton of rapey as fuck porn subs

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hi, i wasnt sure if i should posted this here or reddit, but i was the one who confronted martin in the last event at the Q&A ask him about Winds. Everyone booed me, im not proud of it but someone has to do it

>>24687611
you're a faggot you know that right

>>24687611
as the other anon said you are a fag and I hope you change your faggy ways but I do appreciete george heckling and he deserves it so you should feel some pride.

Any further updates on the "who's finishing this when you die" shitshow?

>>24687611
honestly based
fuck the GIDF

>>24687611
Absolutely based and I kneel, but also you will never be a (sorry I forgot which sex you are trying to ape).

>>24681455
So why was the Kingsguard at the TOJ? Surely they should be protecting their king across the narrow sea

>>24687882
Aerys accidentally created a loophole by not knowing Lyanna was pregnant so he neglected to disinherit him the same way he disinherited Aegon and Rhaenys. Therefore Jon Snow was born king.
Or at least that’s probably what Arthur Dayne and Oswell Whent were thinking, likely being as drunk on the prophecy juice as Rhaegar was.

>>24687882
>So why was the Kingsguard at the TOJ?
Rhaegar personally sent them there. When he did so he justified it by the vital importance of le prophecy, but actually dude was just turbosimping Stark puss and in denial about that.

Rhaegar in general appears to be driven by just doing whatever he wants and taking whatever he wants (le dragon) while masterfully rationalizing it for himself with some intergenerational 6D chess bullshit.

>>24687889
The very strange thing is that Gerold Hightower was sent to retrieve Rhaegar and yet he himself was converted to the cause despite being an Aerys loyalist and hailing from a house that's closely tied with the faith which would heavily frown on the whole absconding with Lyanna thing.

>>24687611
Proud of you

>>24687906
>an Aerys loyalist
I have doubts regarding existence of any legitimate Aerys loyalists by that point.

>>24687918
>"When King's Landing fell, Ser Jaime slew your king with a golden sword, and I wondered where you were."

>"Far away," Ser Gerold said, "or Aerys would yet sit the Iron Throne, and our false brother would burn in seven hells."

What did he mean by this?

So Rhaegar thought he was birthing THE prophecy baby when he absconded with Lyanna right?

Cause if he just needed a third kid he could’ve easily chosen some minor noble, or even a fucking whore. What was his thought process?

>>24687937
14yo horsegirl pussy

>>24687929
For once, it is a dream. It is quite unlikely that the real exchange was as poetic as we see it. Secondly, being Rhaegar loyalist does not mean overthrowing Aerys. Rhaegar coup seems to be pure Aerys paranoia, in actuality Rhaegar and his dudes were doing his thing while patiently waiting for Aerys to die in his sleep and just politely recognizing his legitimate authority until then.

>>24687943
This doesn't sound like they were waiting for Aerys to die in his sleep.

>Rhaegar had put his hand on Jaime's shoulder. "When this battle's done I mean to call a council. Changes will be made. I meant to do it long ago, but . . . well, it does no good to speak of roads not taken. We shall talk when I return."

>>24687955
The council was going to be about legalising polygamy

>>24687611
Good job, if George didn't want to get harassed the last few years of his life to finish Winds he should have finished it years ago.
>>24687878
They're a ftm assuming it's really them.

>>24684183
>Daeron II truly was the illegitimate son of Aemon the Dragonknight
Fucking obviously.

>>24685000
I kneel to these trips.

So you think Maegor knew how to please his women? Or did he just plow until he shot blanks? Totally uncaring?

>>24685883
They were either firewyrms or some sort of fucked up biological horror from all the rampant blood magic Valyria practiced.

>>24687611
Fuck George Larp Larp Martin. He fully deserved that treatment.

>>24688079
Couldn’t even get an erection, micropenis energy.
Not like Aegon IV, clearly all his mistresses were willing and eager, massive fat pink mast, pussy farmer. Root of his problem with Naerys was probably that his cock was too big for her.

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>Have 3 smoking hot sisters, any of which he could marry, maybe even all of them if he was feeling brave
>Locked em up
Gayest faggot in Planetos history?

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>>24688216
>Locked em up
dangerously based

>>24688216
He's a faggot Jesus allegory who thankfully died.

The targaryens are stupid and boring.