>>24696576
yes if you're aromantic

>>24696576
more like is it possible to live a happy life with romantic love particularly of the unrequited variety.
i've never felt so miserable in my life

>>24696605
the only aromantics are successfully repressed and medicated women

>>24696576
Women can't be romantic, so there's not really any point in romance unless you're gay

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>>24696605
what if you're aromatic

I had some very painful and passionate loves (mostly one-sided) 8 years ago and that's enough for me

>>24696605
Aromantic and asexual people are so due to repressed and unaddressed trauma. There's no such thing as an asexual mammal.

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Not yet, but soon. Once the Israeli bio-tech firm 'Pangea Biomed' completes their secret "Smell-X VisionTM" machine, allowing real-time, person-to-person smell transfer between many wet, plump, syrupy vaginas around the world and your own nostrils, then we shall have peace and contentedness, then we have has transcended the need for physical companionship, and finally achieved the ultimate destiny of this dark path of technologi.

If you aren't intelligent enough to see how romance has been weaponized by women and commercialized by corporations then no, you have many years of suffering ahead.

>>24696576
More likely to live an unhappy life with it.

The absence of "romance" is probably one of the core prerequisites of happiness so yeah.

>>24696700

But i don't have a trauma that would've affected my sexuality. It's just i prefer to be alone as it gives me more time for self development.

>>24696669
then you don't care about romantic love and you direct all that unused energy into developping strong friendships, platonic relationships and the search for Beauty.

>>24696700
Not all aroace people have trauma, though some do. Ace people tend to be on a spectrum from sex-positive to sex-negative, sometimes sex-neutral. Only the ones that are extremely sex-negative tend to have traumas but for the others it's just a sexual preference/lack of interest kind of thing.
By the way you can be aromantic but sexual and asexual but romantic.

>>24696762
>>24696702
>>24696667
losers
losers

>>24696576
Life's a lot more meaningful with a weak, hoping, despairing heart. Surprised to hear pussy anons here prefer nothingness to that

>>24696762
Exactly. Women see a romantic guy as weak and will take advantage of him because of it

>>24696762
The prostitute and degrade the most valuable thing in the world precisely because its the most valuable. You are the ultimate cuck if you fall for this while thinking you have somehow overcome the corporations

>>24696864
Genuine question, I can understand being asexual and romantic (because I am) but could you explain how can someone be aromantic and sexual? Isn’t that just those who have casual sex and want to be categorised into a part of the lgbt?

>>24696969
>Isn’t that just those who have casual sex
Being aroace myself I don't have a clue lol. I guess casual sex isn't exclusive with romance ? Like it's just about avoiding commitment and getting attached etc. (I think). But yeah I guess some people enjoy sex and seek it but don't get any pleasure in romantic stuff, though they probably don't know that there is a specific term for that.
>and want to be categorised into a part of the lgbt?
people think being lgbt is the new cool kids club but the reality is that the goal of the lgbt community is to defend it's members and there right to exist in fair conditions. The nice things that come with being part of it are just small compensations for all the shit you get, have gotten and will get in your daily life. I don't think a lot of people identify as aromantic just to go to the cool parties. If it's just that it's not super cool but fine I guess, but if they identify as it and need support for the shit they get then yeah they belong

>>24696969
>>24697278
Do many aro but not ace people even put that label on themselves?

>>24697278
>the goal of the lgbt community is to defend it's members
It's never really just that but also accumulation of power, desire to paint society in their colors, gratify egoistic desires, hound after meaning, those kinds of things.

>>24696605
Imagine the smell.

>>24697278
>they probably don't know that there is a specific term for that.
Yeah, but, like, probably because these terms are just meaningless? I mean, it's not like people have these essences within them and aren't rather products of multiple inderdependent causes. It's probably more like how the greeks saw it and sexuality is just a choice.

>>24696864
Energy? Like, mass? Beauty?

>>24697478
idk, probably not
I don't know any aro/ace people irl anyway
>>24697487
that's what they want you to think but if you went to lgbt gatherings and listened to them (which I did) you'd realize that none of that is true
lgbt people still don't have as much rights as non lgbt people and there existence is still illegal in most countries in the world often faced with death penalties

>>24697495
The point of these categories is that people have a term to qualify an experience and can use that term to find people who have similar experiences and gain a better understanding of what they are facing and how to live with it. Maybe there is a name to something you're struggling with in your daily life and knowing what that name is is the first step into ending the struggle. It's not about finding the universal truth. It's acknowledged that being aro/ace or not might change with time. For some it might have a very concrete cause and can be resolved with a lot of therapy, for others it's not and you just have to live with it and be happy

>>24697495
I'll assume we're talking about straight people here.
The reason why straight people who only want casual sex won't identify with the lgbt community is because men only caring about sex has been normalized for ages, and semi-recently the same started applying to women.
If more of them felt like they fall outside the norms in that extremely crucial part of human experience, more of them would've sought that same type of community.
In fact I'd go further. Homosexuality as just casual sex has been present all througout the world without being a huge issue. It is the desire to have committed romantic relationships openly that has led to the modern lgbt movement.

>>24696576
Happy yes fulfilled probably not

>>24696969
>I can understand being asexual and romantic (because I am)
if you don't mind me asking, could you share more about your experience? are you/were you ever in a relationship? what is it like?

>>24696669
then you need to take a shower

>>24696576
This incel was mad nobody wanted his grapes lmao

>>24698148
No problem, blog incoming.
I had only one relationship which lasted 4-5 months, that was 10 years ago back in high school. At the time I had a very naive conception of a relationship, that being with a boyfriend meant kissing and holding hands, sleeping together meant just cuddling.
In one of his attempts to initiate sex I told him with a straight face that I planned to stay a virgin my whole life, he broke up not long after.

I don’t have any sexual trauma and I don’t mind other people having sex. It’s just that in my case I always felt disgusted by the idea of act and the sight of any sexual organ (male or female) makes me compulsively turn my head away. It’s as if my brain was still one of a child.

After this relationship I tried to fix myself by trying porn and mastubation (which I never did before) but I ended up feeling completely guilty and disgusted so I stopped.

Since then, I understood that any relationship that I might have is bound to break because of my inability to provide sex. It’s perfectly understandable that people want to have sex, and I wouldn’t want to make someone loose their time especially if they want to have kids.
So when there’s a great connexion with a man, there is no point in pursuing anything so I keep everything platonic.

I called myself asexual earlier in my post, I discovered the term not a long time ago and used it for the sake of convenience but I really don’t feel comfortable with it. I don’t want to belong to a community, it’s really not something I’m proud of.
Although I like solitude, I do feel lonely sometimes and wish I could share my life with someone. But it’s okay it doesn’t happen.

yes and the secret ingredient is called drugs

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>>24696576
Women treat you as a cum dispenser. The romancepilled idiots willingly refuse to see this and get taken advantage of. The woman’s weapon is manipulation and the easiest target to manipulate is a gullible hopeless romantic. Do you think the stereotypical drug-dealing thug who beats her while she does his bidding cares about romance? Give me a break.

>>24699512
Thanks for sharing, anon.
While I can understand your discomfort with the term asexual, I feel like maybe you should see it more as a tool. I'm not in your situation, so maybe I'm not really the one to give advice, but I feel like you could try finding an asexual partner online. Ignoring your own need for love is very painful, in my experience, and it leaves a mark on you. You don't need to feel proud about it, but a community that understands you can be helpful.
Wish you all the best.

>>24696576
If you can just make it to age 50, yes.

>>24696618
Wait until you feel limerence while being in a stable, (presumed) happy long-term relationship without any real problems with a different person Questioning your own sanity and self hatred boiling you alive

>>24699851
I'm sorry anon. It's agony. I am in a similar situation minus the "without any real problems" part.

>>24699861
Also sorry for you. How do you cope or try to deal with it?
I mean, for me the rational way in my situation is pretty clear, and it has been the whole time. But I feel like "rational" is somewhat lacking to tackle the issue (sorry Spinoza)

>>24699512
John Ruskin was like this. I've started to believe morality is less about conscious self-control than the kind of sensitivity that effortlessly sets the parameters of behavior. Obviously it seems like this has gone too far in your case. Sex properly understood is the culmination of love and a mysterious and divine act of creation. Of course in the culture, and maybe this is just natural on some level, what I just stated is the transcendental exception, sex is a need that needs providing for. Have you ever had any desire to be a mother?

>>24699851
>Wait until you feel limerence while being in a stable, (presumed) happy long-term relationship
Are you married? "long-term relationship" is a bizarre compromise position. If you really loved her wouldn't you have wanted to get married? Be considerate of her feelings and her own life. Sometimes you have to be cruel to do what's right. Real morals require resolution beyond a wishy washy desire to a have everyone be happy in the short term

of course. more than that, it's even impossible to have a fulfilling romantic life if you're not self-suffisant

>>24696576
I would guess for most people no, but for some, yes. Depends on how happy "happy" is too.

>>24699763 #
Thank you very much for your support anon. It doesn’t help that with the little experience I had and the fact I’m a virgin there is also fear that someone could take advantage of the situation. You’re right in the idea that it’d help to meet people who share the same issue. Still, it’s a difficult matter to talk with people especially when you’re not foot at human contact like me. I need to work on this.

>>24700017 #
I can see how sex can be a beautiful thing when properly done with meaning. But even in a hypothetical perfect relationship my disgust would take over nevertheless.
I do not wish to be a mother, I cannot imagine being pregnant, it fills me with the same type of disgust. It doesn’t feel right because in my mind I feel like a child about some things, it’s as if my brain was underdeveloped.
I do not want to destroy the desire of a man to have a family. They’d be better with a woman who can make them happy in the long run.
John Rukin’s situation is interesting, in my case I wasn’t raised in a very religious environment but I did imagine my ancestors floating as spirits around me when I was a child. I didn’t want to make anything shameful because they would see me and be dissatisfied.

>>24700023
No, we're not married; she doesn't want to marry. I asked her for the first time after being together for 8 years (now it's 16), and she always said it wouldn't be necessary for her. We are together since we are 14, and she shaped the person I am today, guided me through a lot of hardship and made me a better person. Without her I would've an heroed as a teen(at least I think so in retrospective), due to having the first depressive outbreak there .
As I said in the reply to the other anon, there is only the rational to stay with her, especially because I also do love her. That's the part that's torturing me. The correct choice would be to quit being a whiny faggot, but I am what I am

>>24700753
This sounds like a unique situation then. That's pretty normal to feel affection for someone else after so long. Humans aren't necessarily designed to be completely monogamous, at least men aren't. I don't know what you should do, you should probably do nothing and fate will take care of itself, but you have no reason to hate yourself for this.

>>24696576
>is it possible to live a happy life
NO

>>24700418
Honestly, it sounds like you could benefit from psychotherapy, if that's available to you.
You repeatedly mention thinking like a child and also link sex to shame and mention how you didn't want to do anything "shameful" in front of your ancestors.
I don't know if in the end you'll uncover some suppressed sexual desire or understand your asexuality better, but either way it seems like it could help you accept and understand yourself more.
Take care.

>>24700753
>person I am today, guided me through a lot of hardship and made me a better person. Without her I would've an heroed as a teen(at least I think so in retrospective), due to having the first depressive outbreak there .
>As I said in the reply to the other anon, there is only the rational to stay with her, especially because I also do love her. That's the part that's torturing me. The correct choice would be to quit being a whiny faggot, but I am what I am
Are you my twin my oneitis got married to someone else though

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Commit yourself to a higher purpose. Pursue something that is meaningful to you, which can especially be a creative art - writing, sketching, painting, playing an instrument or anything else. Once you have chosen, aim to improvise at it everyday. Once you see yourself making progress, you will gain confidence and that will suffice to give you happiness, despite the lack of romantic love in your life. In addition, you can also befriend people who pursue the same art as you do. Interacting with such people will help you learn and get better at your art.

>>24697492
underrated toast

>>24699512
Post tits or gtfo

Here's my true love tale:

Since senior year high school been with my dream girl. shes got the looks, body, and personality. she cooks cleans and supports me. of course regular sex, not jealous, nor vile. She's not perfect but neither am I. We give each other grace as we have been together for almost 15 yrs. as teens we had hundreds of wild, fun, sexual adventures. 'early adulthood' post college she started changing and went from down to whatever wherever to kind of cold prude and evil, "dont touch me dont breathe by me, dont lean ur hand there, literally walking on eggshells.....her backstory:

she was on the pill as a teen, she blames her hormones & ignorance & willingness to please me as making her be who shes not. Thus, when she came off the pill and starting maturing, sometime then I proposed to her, and at 23 we both married. She changed...like mentioned, no more kissing, holding hands, moaning during the sexs, no quickies, nothing spontaneous, really planned and checkbox sex (like: only touch this, dont do that, move ur hands, hurry up, she needed to be drunk/stoned etc etc) woe is me right? well, ever the mindless idealist, i kept at it, we had A LOT of fights, I never ended it with a you're the worst i hate you, lets end this. I was optimistic (remembering who she was when we first were fukking and that gave me hope to get that REAL wife back.....)

we then started a family.......

And most importantly, discovered therapy, fell for the 'tism/add self diagnosis plague and now many aspects outside my romantic life are on the upswing, look up ROCD. We are still together and guess what, 10 years after her sexxual habits changed, we're having better sex than as teens, trying more positions, twice a week, she's finally taking lead with cowgirl, (where even as teens she would never try), regular Bjs. Full disclosure, she did not work for 4 years after baby was born, (once ur no longer working you realize how much work is literal soul killing) so she had time to settle her mind, research her problems, reflect on her past & has honestly been the leader in our self care recovery.

Its all good man, idk if you can find real happiness without romance, i've felt i've always been very turned on blame it on ancestral lust in my DNA. sex/romance has been a core tenant in my life, since childhood i decided love is the only real thing, so I've spent hours wishing on it, hoping on it, and desiring it. Subconsciously my intentions have been towards it, my desire/obsession.

You'll have a life partner in mind: once you're ready to find one, go with full hearted eagernerss, all your intentions/actions will start leading you to someone like them, (i want a smart girl = hang out a library's go to college lectures etc etc)
also talk to as many people, talk to girls boys babez and find people who can flirt, learn from them and become a romantic bc if you are, then fukken go all in.

>>24700998
Thanks for your understanding anyways.
And I also came to the conclusion to let fate decide. But this feeling of being split is quite taxing. As you can imagine the situation is a little deeper than I described it above, so there is more playing into it than just being in a relationship and having lingering feeling for a second person. A Tibetan basket weaving forum is just not the right place to whine.

I only disagree with your last sentence of not hating myself, but that's a me-problem which I am working on.

>>24701757
Oof. I'd like to consolidate you and tell you all will be good, but that would be a stretch. I can only say it most likely will get better, for what it's worth

>>24696863
Self development feels less real or fundamental to me than sex and love.

>>24701584
Thank you for the advice and for taking the time to read my posts. Much appreciated.

>>24696863
The ironic part is that you need a companion close to you, to figure out what the fields are that you need to improve on. And if you've lived like a recluse, then trust me, there's a lot of communication skills that are invaluable that you likely need to work on. Which you can only do through interacting with people. And communication with your significant other is one of the most difficult things ever, it takes much practice and patience.

>>24702229
Spoken like a giga normie.

>>24701847
i ain’t reading all that
I’m happy for u tho
or sorry that happened

>>24696700
that's like saying there aren't female mammals without a womb, or humans that lack legs. Or to focus on more psychological aspects, people without empathy. It's not like every mammal is perfectly formed.

>>24701847
>she was on the pill as a teen, she blames her hormones & ignorance & willingness to please me as making her be who shes not. Thus, when she came off the pill and starting maturing, sometime then I proposed to her

Women select completely different men when they're on or off the pill.

>>24696700
dudes will call themselves asexual while jacking off 3 times a day

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>>24702055
I either need to steal her back or consider that she's dead.