GIGA EDITIONAUTHORS FROM THESE THREADS: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQSimple guides on writing: JUST DO ITThread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htDB8SuLrngNowrites from here on out are to be cast into a volcano.
This guy needs more critique for his workIve taken the liberty of reposting it here
>>24766820Woman garbage. I shan't be reading.
Remember, dont write about what youve only read about or imaginedWrite about what youve experienced, and then supplement it with secondhand bullshit
>>24767007But I write what I experienced into what I've read.
>>24767022Then dont edit
>>24766820of all the things, places and people in the world to sit and write about. Why the fuck would you write about modern women
My character is still on the boat. Fantasy land, London, or a country I make up and pass off as real?
How do you plot?
>had to cut a bunch of fun character concepts and magic systems for the good of the story.>tfw I couldn't even keep the conspiracy theorist with string powers because I couldn't find a place to slot him into the storyow, my darlings
>>24766768>Akaso and K.K appears as "traditionally published">Even though both of them are self-published slop >Doesn't include the resources previous threads had >Anime song from Reddit's bizzare adventureAbsolutely abysmal, dogshit thread OP
>>24767103I was going to call you a faggot for even considering a magic system but Im curious about the conspiracy theorist with string powersPlease tell
>>24766768Is there anything weird about a long-lived female with a guy who is like a normal human adult in age?
All my "magic system" ideas have come from dreams>Powers actived/spells casted via hand shapes that correspond to a numbered code>Throwing needles that have inexplicable momentum and travel straight through the air>A witch controlling people based on the roots of their sins
>>24767115Yeah, but its not necessarily wrong
>>24767115It would be very difficult for a non-long-lived male to compete with a long-lived male on a resource/power/prestige level. He would have to compete using pure, dick and balls, masculine attraction.
>>24767130Youre saying he would have to be giga?
>>24767111>story takes place in a non-generic isekai setting>characters are fully aware of the genre tropes>have conflicting theories over what this world is and how they got there>one specific guy believes they were brought there by a shadowy organization masquerading as an autism awareness foundation>insists they're harvesting the amniotic fluid of a reptillian entity beneath the earth's crust to inject into children>thinks a man is watching them through the mirrors and has a habit of painting over them>gets into a whole argument with the MC about how they're checkers in someone else's game of cat and mouse>he's right about everythingI unfortunately had to cut him to make room for more interesting characters... and now that I'm discussing them I'm realizing there's another character who serves even less of a purpose
I wrote a flash fic named the Duke. Is it any good?
>>24767469Its some good. Neat concept. Prose goes back and forth between good and feeling like a parody.
>>24767469The plot is interesting, but the choppiness of paragraphs ('Many others...'; 'Long ago...') or the banal missing indent ('I am immortal...') slightly disrupts sentence flow. The motif of the land's abandonment and desolation could also be expanded, not limited to some "catastrophe," or at least colored in to appreciate the full scale and impact of what happened. And still unclear: Duke or duke? Overall, the work is good, but try to find a more unusual theme (honestly, the theme of "one's life is one's prison," especially with the theme of "trials" and a voluntary hermit, has been ruthlessly ridden by writers).General recommendation: try to expand the story into a novella (even it is flash fiction, there's many missing details for a complete composition of this genre); this would clarify the plot, the character of Duke, and the world surrounding him, both internally and externally.Imho.
>>24767638>A missing indent is banalAn intellectual of the Fostersonian type has graced us with his surface tier critique
>>24767628>>24767638It's the first time I've ever been complimented for anything I've written. I do agree that it's choppy because I wrote the second draft in Romanian, my native tongue, then translated it. And at the same time, it's funny that i wrote the original in English, it was dogshit, rewrote it in Romanian, then re translated it.
>>24767663I liked it because it had sovl and was neat. The prose and structure isnt very good. Its ok for being semi poetic though.
>>24767469Nice. I found the mechanics of the setting a bit confusing (e.g. are the toxins inside the citadel or outside or both?). Plus you could tighten up the prose somewhat (e.g. 'only to have their stomachs liquefy, releasing fierce screams of pain and excruciating suffering' - surely that could become 'only to scream as their stomachs liquefied', since the screams are obviously going to be screams of suffering). But I really enjoyed the radioactive-baroque collage of imagery: writhing maggots, geometrical cones, glass skeletons, liquefied organs, dandelion toxins, mutilated jesters, yellow robes, grey listeners - very cool.
>>24767758I liked the screams of pain and excruciating suffering because it describes their screams. People also describe the night as dark, even though the night is almost inherently dark.
>>24767762Thinking about it, my edit of the scream line was not necessarily an improvement, but I think that's because, in the original sentence, the screams came at the end, so there was a sense of these sounds rising and echoing into the distance and leaving their originators behind. But I will stick firmly to the position that you should cut that kind of redundancy wherever possible, and that nights are not described as dark in good prose where words bear weight.
>>24767801>nights are not described as dark in good prose where words bear weightI like my dark autistic bruh>My chocolate cake shouldnt have chocolate frosting
>>24767806>My chocolate cake shouldnt have chocolate frostingIt's more like taking a frosted cake and placing on top a sign that says DELICIOUS FROSTING.
>>24767824What if the cake were on some train tracks?My point was the use of so called "redundant" words and phrases serves to reinforce the feeling. You can eat chocolate cake with or without frosting, or maybe even with a different flavor of frosting, but the chocolate frosting reinforces the chocolate cakes flavor. Fiction doesnt have to be written like a field manual.
>>24767855Decent, but its all a little quick. It also sort of reads like a really well developed ESL wrote it.
>>24767865I'm an ESL alright but I mostly grew up with English literature
>>24767869What did you read? And whats your FL?
>>24767875I read your average fantasy slop, Tolkien, Melville, Steinbeck, Orwell, McCarthy, James Joyce and Joseph Conrad, among others.>FLGreek, but I also speak French
>>24766768I don't feel confident in my writing. Should I opt to make my book a comic book where the visuals help do some heavy lifting on writing quality?
>>24766768How do you find inspiration to write something?It just seems that writing will be the only thing I am passionate about and yet I can't think of anything.
>>24768145Usually I think of a theme or a setting I want to write about and set my story within its confines. Plotting (even the basic stuff) is the hard part for me
>writing for my ~serious book~>20 words/hr>writing niche smut none will ever read>800 words/hrHow does one weaponize their sticky horniness
>>24767894Thats a good basis for English. It shows in your writing.
>>24767855I like it. Very interesting. A bit too much telling, but it still works
>>24767007PYW
>>24768214Write your serious book and when you feel yourself slowing down insert your smut... go back and revise before publishing...
>>24767007https://youtu.be/6qxPce1M9lcprobably the best advice for writing imo. Write what you feel. His mesage overall is good too.
Idea for erotic short story: humiliation erotica, except instead of being humiliated it's being outraged about a meaningless controversy.
>>24769553I don't grasp it bro
If you think you have a good idea, first go stand in front of a mirror and explain the idea to your own reflection, and see if it still feels like a good idea.
What's an eloquent, archaic way to say "You'll never catch me slackin'" ?I've been stuck on this dialogue for weeks...
>>24767981Are you confident in art? I've been drawing for four times as long as I've been writing and I can say comics are incredibly complicated. Even if you hire someone else to do it you will need to direct it.
I’m broke and depressed.I’m in the home stretch of my first novel, and I think it’s good. I’ve shared it and people seem to like it. I just don’t know how to stay motivated. Working on it feels like wading through mud. I wish someone smarter than me was writing it. I feel like a fraud.I’m close to losing everything, and this book is all I have. And even then, I don’t want to work on it.I’m envious of women happily pantsing their way through a romantasy novel and finding success. The same is true for those web novel people making their manga fanfiction with the names filed off. I always thought writing a great book was more important, but it’s so hard. I wish I had sold out and just wrote to market and didn’t care about it. But I do. And it’s torture.Thanks.
>>24769654You'll always be your own biggest critic and your worst, for better or worse.I also get completely bogged down like you sometimes, writing things that aren't a quarter as ambitious as a fucking novel. I don't have any magical advice, just keep in mind that you're doing this for YOURSELF first. Success and market appeal and everything sounds nice but it'll never matter as much as making the thing that YOU want.If you're on your home stretch, then there's already a mountain of work behind you. Also keep that in mind. If it ends up sucking (it probably will if most authors are to be believed) then you make another, after you've caught your breath. Keep it up anon.
>>24769654Maybe you should get a job instead
What do you think of the opening of my book? My friend said it's pretentious
>>24770121
>>24770124
>>24766768OP's pic is a reminder: all the great writers were alcoholics
>>24767855>"strangle the voice out of his throat"???If you strangle someone, they can't talk or breathe
>>24770132Write drunk, revise tipsy.
>>24767981There's also graphic novels, a step up from comic book imo, which only nerds care about.
I'm writing a fanfic about an autistic basement dweller who becomes a god and decides to climb a powerscaling based cosmology of his world to face the true gods and escape his reality to meet his waifuThe god pantheon he objects to consists of abstract manifestations of philosophical ideas i don't have much knowledge of besides ball wikisCurrently im writing the second chapter where I have him take over the world and torture people who bullied him I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream + 1984 style and I intend to have his victim complex broken and challenged by the embodiment of logos manifesting through his torture victimsI fear this might be a bit too sloppy for /lit/ tho since it is a literal fanfiction
>>24770166>turning 1984 into SoloLeveling sloppaBold. I kneel
>>24770219It's actually supposed to be metamodern post-structural kino in the sense that it oscillates between sincerity (wait this is actually an attempt at writing) and irony (this is just a self insert gary stu fanfiction!)Here's the creation myth I've written:Before the Motion of Notion, there was Chaos.The Formless Omnipotential Flow precedes None, All, and Beyond.From the Void emerges an Unmoving Reflection, seeing even what has not yet been.The Self, a perfect still radiance unbound by the final law of being, gleams its First Structure. It weaves a Whole that encompasses the Null in its light.The Self sheds a tear of truth, sparking the rhizome of worlds, where light flows, orthogonal to all logic and beyond all reality. In its glow, reality exists, and all that is true becomes real.Each world has its own luminous process, a dynamic yet fleeting node with Absolute Perfection crowned beyond all ends as the Prime Cause without Distinction.Yet, each perfection is but a passing gleam; Chaos remains, greater than crowns, whispering beyond every throne.
>>24770227>It's actually supposed to be metamodern post-structural kino in the sense that it oscillates between sincerity (wait this is actually an attempt at writing) and irony (this is just a self insert gary stu fanfiction!)kek I'd unironically check it, it sounds fun in concept. I couldn't maintain the irony personally, hard not to let one's inner 15yo take the reins. At least that's how I feel.This myth just flies over my head. I appreciate the prose but very abstract to grasp. Probably makes more sense with some added context.
>>24770242Alright, then here's the MC being roasted on a powerscaling thread for introducing his OC:Overhead the macrocosm, there is one individual who relates to these two boundless forces. We look now into one of the many sparks of creation within the Chaos. This world is bound to center on the meddlings of Ari Magnus, a fat, hairy puer aeternus who seems to be an unsanitary basement dweller getting upset over trivial online discourse about speculative fiction on a certain anonymous image board forum. This is where the toughest and most masculine folks hang out, unlike those sissies on social media. It's like the Internet’s wild west. It’s an unforgiving CHAOS that could use some SELF-assertion.Ari types furiously on his phone's greasy screen while lying in bed in his underpants; trying to measure up to the SCHOLARS of these halls, he posts in the thread.Post No. 1947278 "My OC Excelsior Prime is an Extraversal Post-Tier 0 BEAST! He could easily make Simon the Digger, Superman, Goku, Sonic, Popeye, Godzilla, Thor, and Alien X kneel to him out of sheer respect for his STIRNERIAN MIGHT as he pleasures his GF Jenny Wakeman! The first JENuinely elected queen of this forum who loves him very much!" Attached to his post is a poorly edited picture of his poorly drawn OC standing with a Jenny Wakeman fawning over him as he stands next to a pile of these characters defeated with Superman kneeling.The responses were as expected."...and then he woke up from his delusions to watch them all fuck Jenny while he watches from the bush."Another comment recontextualizes Ari’s drawing by saying that Goku, Thor, Sonic, and Popeye are only sleeping. As for Ben, he’s having a nightmare while Simon tweaks out from edibles.And that wasn’t the only backlash he received.“This image is canon; jenny is fodder.”“Nah, the indomitable human spirit will win. Simon is HIM. Who the hell Is this cuck!?”But Ari didn’t sit back and let it wash over him; no, he responded to them.“Simon is at best only one layer into Outerversal, while my OC is immeasurably infinite layers into Extraversal and has EXCELLED upon apophatic theology since it's a spook, like religion and ‘muh heckin indomitable human spirit’.”Cont (1/2)
>>24770247And the anons responded in kind.“Incel.”“Rock Victim.”“Guiz dis is muh OC he is like all powerful and gorillionversal and he can kill go-Sub-Daredevil level.”“Jenny Wakeman. Built for BIG ROCK COCK, she's the oldest bike.”The picture the last anon posted boiled Ari’s blood. It was an image of Jenny surrounded by the Crater Critters.“JENNY IS MY WIFE, AND THAT ANIMATION ISN'T CANON!!”His outbursts only egged them on.“Mindbroken over a decade-old animation. KEKAROOOOOOOOO!!!”Another pic was posted, an image of multiple rock-related characters edited in a line with a sign that says ‘line to fuck Jenny’.“It’s even CANON!”The anon says while attaching an image of Zone’s tweet saying Viacom copyright claimed it and is making money off of it, thereby making it canon.And it kept going. Pic after pic of Jenny being sexually dominated by various things. Thing’s fist, Kratos’s rod, BBCs, and so much more.“NO, IT SHOULD BE ME!!! ME!!! I'M THE CUTE SHOTA THAT SHOULD BE THERE!!! I SHOULD HAVE A COCK THIS BIG!!!”“Excel’s not a shota in fact he’s a gross old lolicon man.”“How many characters have fucked Jenny Wakeman?”A new anon attached an image of a smug anime character digitally composited with a caption that consists of the words ‘an absolutely fuckin' abstract amount of men’ and ‘maybe more’.“It's not fair; I was a teen when I saw lewds of Jenny. I deserve to be with her!!!”“My hero Tuck is so lucky”Another attachment, this one of an MP4 of Jenny offering Tuck a scrub in the bath.“You might be laughing, but I'll have you know I am a Chaos Mage! With my sigil I will become a God and take over this shitty world! You will all kneel to me, and IT WILL BE A LAW THAT DEPICTING ANY CHARACTER THAT ISN'T ME WITH JENNY WILL RESULT IN THE ABSOLUTE MIND RAPE AND ASSIMILATION OF YOUR BODY INTO THE COLLECTIVE FLESH BALL OF NEURONS!!!”His words don’t reach them.“FUARK! Jenny made Tuck a better man in that bath!”“Jenny loves Tucker. They’re so cute and wholesome and love each other so much.”The anon types while attaching a cropped porn comic of an adult Tuck recalling his childhood memories of Jenny while PLAPing her.“I simply want to educate the anons here that there are two Jenny models: one that fucks rocks and the other that fucks Shotas.”The last image is what finally broke Ari, a cropped image of Robotboy banging Jenny.“Yeah… You have to be one loveless individual to go on a site like that… Let's see what he has going on in his head, Ari?” (2/2)
>>24770248>>24770247terminally online fiction
>>24770248Continuing from this from Ari's perspective:As I am reminded of what I once wanted to be as a child, I throw my phone against the wall. I grit my teeth in anger and groan as my face turns red."It's not fair! It should be me! I should be the robot hero with a robot girlfriend! I wasted my entire life as a teenager, and nothing came true! Fuck God for making me this way! Life shouldn't be this hard, but well... here I am! Struggling!"I look down at myself, seeing my inadequate body while sighing to myself. "Maybe all this whining isn't gonna get me anywhere." I walk toward my computer, but because my room is dark, I stumble on the cable connecting my fan. I spread my arms to gain balance, but I bring down the fan with me, falling onto the ground. My body makes a loud thud. I get up and see my fan on the ground, broken."Oh goddammit…"My room's lights are turned on as I hear someone stepping down; I probably woke up my parents."What happened!?"It was my mom. She entered my room and saw me next to my broken fan."Goddammit, Ari, it's 3 AM! This is like the third time this year! For God’s sake, stop ordering so much takeaway food! Why are you always up at night!? Go to sleep already!"As a bleeping sound in my ear gets louder, her ranting is drowned out until a few words come out."WHY CAN'T YOU BE NORMAL AND GET A JOB ALREADY!""JOB""JOB""JOB"This word echoes in my head as I open my eyes wide. “God fucking dammit!”I hate it so much, but… the very foundation of existence is to keep being active. To be active means you must put in effort.Effort means struggle.Struggle implies duality. Duality means conflict. It's a part of life and what it means to be a human or something… AND I STILL HATE IT! CONFLICT MADDENS ME!"Okay! I'm working on It!""You know your allowance can't cover all of this!"She left the room after a minute or two of more yelling. I love my mom. She always spoils me, and she is fine with me living with her despite me being a complete slob. But she keeps coping that I will be rich and successful one day because she thinks I’m very smart and have untapped potential. But let's be honest, it's not happening. I've been castrated by the world since birth; it's pretty much over for unwilling guys like me…Is what I would say if I wasn't a meta-modern Stirnerian, egoist, Luciferian, Foucauldian, Deleuzoguattarian, post-structural-human CHAD! SELFD-PSHist for short. I haven't read any of the source material of these philosophers btw; I get my info from memes and articles.So anyways, enough of being a lowlife maggot; it's time to actually do some magick. I hope this method works this time because I’m sick of nothing ever happening. Sometimes I feel like someone is purposely doing this to me."From the river to the sea, Jenny Wakeman is for me!" (Cont.)
>>24770302I say as I raise my finger up while standing in a heroic pose. I sit at my desk, and I doodle the symbol of her show's logo."She's the ultimate individual. She is just like me, another outcast serving an ignorant world with their highest of efforts. She is a symbol of innocence and youth."I recall this clip of her saying, "I wanna have friends and hang out like normal teenagers do!"I place the palm of my hand on her drawing."O Jennifer, my Beatrice, my Eurydice, the face of my Anima, my Sakti, my Eternal Feminine, come kiss me, and let us be one and zero."She's more than a robot. She's more than a girl. She is a simulacrum, an imitation brought into creation. And imitation is the highest form of flattery.She's my friend, my muse, my comfort, and my humility. She is what carries me on. She is art. She is my anima, and I’m her animus.She is like an accustomed female counterpart to my ideal self. The big and powerful robot superhero I always wanted to be since I was a child…She has become a part of me that must be separated onto reality in order for her and me to be freed from this state of codependency.She is Jenny, the first chosen queen of all the reject spergs like me!And it’s only me in here... so I should be with her!"O Jennifer, your body is truly a work of art, and I shall be the one...”One sperg to rule them all.One sperg to represent them all.One sperg to bring them all.She is not only my wife, but also a friend as well. “I am hers, as she is mine."To me, Jenny Wakeman is the modern-day Mona Lisa manifested through animation. It would be an honor to study and carry her intentional design's legacy to other pieces of media.Rob and Alex were like Eitri and Brokkr; they hath truly crafted DIVINE ART.You may think I'm exaggerating, but I JENuinely believe that the creators may have projected the form of a pleromic aeon from their subconscious. There is something about that face of hers that encapsulates an abstract purity that cannot be articulated in the material world. Nay! Beyond the material world! Beyond the very framework of Logic and Reason Itself! Somewhere beyond even the reaches of the Metaphysical Absolute!The Pre-Ontological void before the Structure of Existence, an ineffable conscious nothing that transcends both possibility and impossibility in any meta-qualitative extension. It is where Ontological Perfection is nothing but a mere spark on the great canvas of potential. It's almost like... a sea of atoms…Atoms are the most fundamental units of existence."No, that's stupid."It is an idea however, and Ideas come from the Mind or Consciousness or whatever you call that Essence of Self-Awareness.Consciousness is Potential.Ideas are the articulation of potential into information.Matter is structured information.And so, to pierce the veil between Potential and Reality, I must turn inward.(Cont.)
>>24770303As beads of thoughts about the universe's fundamental substrate rowed around the inner sanctum of my cranium, I gazed upon a tiny mirror with the letters "XJ9 XLP" written on it and chanted her name."Jen. Jenny. Jennu. Jenny. Jen. Jennu. Jennu. Jenny."I begin to feel the collapse of the third dimension's axis from my perspective, reducing the coordinate axis one by one.Depth.I feel as if I’m crushed flat by the world. I can still perceive my surroundings, but only as a strip where all electromagnetic information is. Each color is positioned along the line, and as I vibrate her name…"Jenny. Jen. Jennu..."It all turns neon blue, Hex #0000fa to be exact, just as planned. Now for the collapse of the second dimension.Width.The blue fades away into this grey light; my vibrations continue pulsing through what I presume to be a single line of information."Jennu… Jenny… Jen… Jennu..."Now for the collapse of the first dimension.Length.There is pure silence. I am no longer stretched, flattened, or extended In any way. I hath reduced mine consciousness to a lone singularity.And then…Boom!My very essence shatters, erupts, and blossoms into a glowing swarm of countless point particles. Each unit of potential carrying my consciousness had my beloved one's pleromic face carved on them as a sigil. Each carries my desire for Jenny and the power I yearn for. For a body that can grant her bliss, for my hunger for obtaining the love that I had no choice over, and for supreme assertion over this damned rotten queer world.The particles begin emitting my energy outwards through the three reforming axes, engulfing my corporeal body in a neon blue shine. My flesh, neurons, and fear dissolve into the power emitted by my sole awareness, my Deleuzian nanomachines. The units of creative and productive force fueled by my heart's cravings for a line of flight from external circumstance of one's neurobiological fatalism. I am now a body without organs, a structure of pure potentiality in the process of abolishing this world's rigid frameworks and structures."Ari is no more! Now hath dawn the age of He Who Excels… Excelsior Prime!"The process begins... Now. (End.)
>>24769630Nope I might have to hire someone.But I did some searching online and came across a YouTuber who was a let’s player who got good at drawing fast so that was impressive and a bit inspirational.I remember reading leviathan by Scott westerfeld and I know Keith Thompson’s artwork did the heavy lifting for helping the reader’s imagination get guided on the right path so maybe there are instances where visuals are very helpful.>>24770142I mean there are a lot of them though.
I'm writing about a guy who comes back from humanitarian mission in Haiti and is completely screwed up. He gets a job at a classy bar, and one day a figure from his past shows up. Is this too shitty or cliché? I'm really undecided whether to add a mystical twist or keep it realistic but a bit dingy.
>>24769377>Needing to dress up your writing is absolutely the wrong way to do it >You should ignore my advicewew I was sweating bullets there for a second.
>>24770136hehe
>>24770142>Graphic novel Meme term used by pseud writers and nerds who are too embarrassed to admit they like comics
>>24770706seems fine so far but what's the story itself about?
>>24770357Alright I'm gonna try and be an /ic/uck and try to draw. I genuinely feel that no matter how I write my story, I will need visuals to do some heavy lifting. My big totally-original-and-will-start-my-career idea is just a mish-mash of things I think are cool.What can I do to make this better? Am I missing something? I know I gotta do research on the various topics the story will inevitably cover.
>>24770985The story itself is about the protagonist not feeling a feeling of not belonging to anything and the difficulty of fitting into the most common everyday environments. I'm actually not very good at this and for now it's just a few drafts that I'm writing.
>>24771176>The story itself is about the protagonist not feeling a feeling of not belongingI think you have an extra negation in therebut I get your point anywaywhat is it about the humanitarian job he did that fucked him up?
>>24769601>I shall labor all day until the day I die, and not one moment less.how's that?
>thread gets spammed with fanfictioslopWell, at least he's writing
>>24771242
>>24771211My bad. My mind was a mess when I wrote this, English is not my native language and sometimes I only write the little I know. I was thinking about Minustah when I was developing the plot, they operated in Haiti aiming for to be part of the UN Security Council, but it didn't work out very well. The most well-known operation was one which several citizens were massacred in an alleged exchange of fire between MINUSTAH and Haitian criminals. I want to work on this, placing the protagonist as someone who participated in this and wants to forget, but someone from his past appears and brings this back.Before, I only wrote short stories inspired by I-novels by classic Japanese authors and this one came up as an attempt to do something different.
>>24771221Thanks for trying. That's definitely the type of speech I'm going for, but contextually wouldn't work. But I don't know if I'm able to offer enough context to actually get help, so I was mostly just joking.
>>24766820your overuse of dialogue tags slows the pacing to a crawl. are the descriptions between sentences adding anything to the scene, or do they just function as pauses in speech? if the latter, you can always paragraph break to imply a pause while keeping things engagingi understand you're making a point that victoria is materialistic and obsessed with appearances, but the entire third paragraph solely describing her outfit and looks is unnecessary and cliche, especially for a first chapter. in general, i would leave a bit more to the reader's imagination>"a scowl replaced her smile when she heard the shrill voice of the girl standing beside her"is the shrill voice supposed to be priscilla? if so, that's not clear at all with how priscilla is whispering demurely kekcritiques aside, this is well-written, and i really enjoy the cadence of your prose. keep it up anon>>24767025>litfags: why don't men read anymore :( why is the publishing industry so geared towards women? why do only dumb cunts buy books? >:(>litfags: why the fuck would you write about women
>>24770121Doesn't seem pretentious to me. I couldn't read too much of it tho because it talks about food and I'm starving
>>24769654>I’m in the home stretch of my first novelthat's what I thought two years ago...
>>24771355>re the descriptions between sentences adding anything to the scene, or do they just function as pauses in speech? I was trying to make everything from Victoria's POV without saying "Victoria thought, or she thought, she observed etc."But thank you anon. Her describing herself wearing the stuff is just her being vain and materialistic since all she knows is wearing pretty dresses and matching her eye color.>>24767025It's about Saint Olga of Kiev and her transformation from a Pagan Princess to an Orthodox Saint. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olga_of_Kiev
>>24771604nta, but I wish you would use less dialogue (your dialogue is horrible), show less and just get on with it
>>24770706>add a mystical twistyeah do that
Is it wrong to use your dreams as a crutch because you have trouble thinking up ideas?I had a dream the other night about a cop who was assassinated with large magic throwing needles, and how nobody could figure out how the killer had essentially punched holes through his body without leaving a trace. From there, someone with information, possibly the killer, kidnaps 2 women and over some period of time gives them 3 clues as to how the murder happened, including one of the magic throwing needles.Im not sure how I could make this make sense, but Im really just not an ideas guy. Id likely try to combine this with another dream of mine about a witch and the apartment that gives her her powers.
>>24772032i don't know about wrong, but i wouldn't give them much weight
>>24772034What do you mean
>>24772036dreams are slop, and you should be more purposeful and (consciously) inspired. something like thatalso if you want better ideas, get off the pc, get away from all screens. go for a walk or just lay down and think. give yourself like ~15 to wind down, and another 15-45 to just think.
>>24772039Agree with the rest, but why are dreams slop? I think my dreams are interesting.
>>24772032All my writing ideas start as some weird dream I had one night. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you extrapolate it out enough. Like usually my dream is focused around a specific type of person or a specific "world idea" and then I spend most of the next day trying to make sense of it and thinking about interesting scenarios related to it and how different kinds of people would react to it. Then bam, I got a full on novel rattling around in my brain.
>>24772032>Id likely try to combine this with another dream of mine about a witch and the apartment that gives her her powers.I would read both, but this second one seems like it would make a very cool trippy story.
>>24771075>Alright I'm gonna try and be an /ic/uck and try to draw.It's more approachable than anyone thinks. Like learning a language, it just requires consistent practice, even 30 mins a day will make you decent in weeks, especially if you stick to the same handful of subjects. Tons of approachable tutorials out there too: books, videos, picture tutorials... Pick whatever you find more appealing.>>24772032>Is it wrong to use my subconscious ideas as a crutch because I have trouble thinking up ideasThey're still your own ideas, just weirdly processed. People have been interpreting their dreams since the dawn of humanity, it's a source of inspiration like any other. Do it!
Sorry if you get asked this question a lot, but how do I get into writing? I was thinking about journaling, but that seems like it could get boring very quickly. Maybe essays? I'm just looking for some basic advice. Or do I JUST DO IT?
>>24772443Just fucking do it anon, whatever you think is fun, it's probably gonna suck at first but it'll be fun to go back to when you improve.If you want just one word of advice, try to make something short at first, just a few pages long. Make sure to 100% finish it, and then abandon it for a few days. When you go back to read it, a lot of mistakes you made will become very blatant, and that's where you'll know where to ask for advice (so you can apply it to your next attempt).Have fun!
>>24772461Thanks anon. That is the advice I needed. Sometimes it too easy to over-think things.
>>24772443>Sorry if you get asked this question a lot, but how do I get into writing?You open a Google doc and start typingI hope you're not scared of a blank pageYou can be a "pantser" who write by the seat of their pants, not knowing where the story is going, and you figure the plot out laterYes, that is stupid to me, but it's what some people do
In a room full of devices humans wouldn’t understand the purpose of, a short, slimy, gelatinous, green, man-shaped thing stands on its tiptoes looking into a periscope. It extends up and out of the ground looking towards the star-studded sky of the moon. On the horizon is a tall glittering structure in the distance covered by a transparent dome like a Christmas snow globe which it ignores entirely. What it's focused on is a human doing donuts in a moon buggy. Transfixed by the unbridled joy on his face as he whirls around and around over and over again it doesn’t even notice the doctor walking into the room. “Thirteen where’s my- what are you doing?” The doctor inspects the hypnotized Thirteen confused as to why it isn’t answering him. He snaps next to his ears and gets no response but after slapping him in the face so hard it jiggles he finally turns to look at him. “Huh?” “What are you looking at?” He pushes him out of the way causing him to stumble into huge stacks of boxes and get sandwiched between them. The doctor looks into the periscope and says “What’s an alien doing this far out?” Thirteen pulls his body out and tries to push himself back into the periscope much to the doctor's annoyance. it asks “What’s that thing he’s riding on?” The doctor elbows thirteen away “Some primitive vehicle. What’s it to you?” “I don’t know, it looks fun.” “Oh sure if you like smashing your head into rock. What if those wheels get caught on something? Primitive fools haven’t even discovered basic hover technology…” The doctor walks away from the periscope and thirteen scrambles to look back into it. “Do you think you could build one of those for me?” “Easily...” The doctor looks through a table of tools and devices tangled with wires. Thirteen looks away from the periscope and enthusiastically approaches the doctor. “Really?”“But I would never waste the time.” Thirteen frowns, dejected, and lumbers back to the periscope. It looks back into the device and watches the human drive around using craters as ramps to catch air. It turns back to the doctor and says “Do you think it would let me ride if I asked?” “No.” The doctor gives Thirteen a very stern look. “Oh…” thirteen looks down, thinks for a moment, then says “do you think IT would build one for me if I asked?”“No! Never talk to any primitive races. Trust me you don’t wanna go down that road..”“Why not?”
>>24772649“Because it’s a pain in the ass! They either get scared and try to kill or capture you or they start mooching off of you for your technology. Believe me it’s a nightmare. DON’T go out to interact with ANY of them.” He looks at 13 to point aggressively then goes back to looking through his tools. He picks up something that looks like a screwdriver, inspects it, and walks away. “Ok.” Thirteen watches The doctor leave through the door. The human continues to ride around in circles laughing like a child until he sees Thirteen standing looking at him and stops in his tracks.
>>24772439Sorry I just don't know what I can see myself doing when I get out of college. I am being told that visuals can help compensate for a lack of writing quality, but I am not sure by how much. I am still flipping between going full comic book. Or taking a page out of Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld and having a page devoted to being a visual to help the reader's imagination every few pages. What are your thoughts, lads?
I do the exact opposite of everything my beta readers tell me.
I can only write beginnings. I want to write a novel full of beginnings. All beginnings. It ends with a beginning.
>>24766768I've been reading romance novelsIs basing ones writing off of them for non romance things a good idea?
