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>>24793260
I as much as I hate Israel I respect Chabad Lubavitch for being able to force everyone to pay them to read all day. Like unironically jealous of those Talmud reading satans.

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I constantly seek out comfort from my parents while fully knowing that they were the ones that mentally turbofucked me and I will never get any amount of comfort from them.

Why am I so fucking stupid?

>>24792208
so the criminal rapist character did kidnap the daughter main character as I expected but instead of having his way with her, as would happen in real life, he stashed her in the desert and is using her as leverage to get immunity for his past crimes. Phew, saves the purity of the character, thank god, but damn, no hot scene of her gettin' it

How do you do philosophy without feeling like utter shit? Every time i try to look into things like the natural of the mind because muh ai or whatever. I feel like shit, then i constantly worry about everyone else and everything else. Nothing really makes me feel better about existing or not existing. Regardless of the truth, it doesnt change the situation i, and am everyone else is in. Im debating wether to do benzos to cope

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From the angel's trumpet comes the prelude to the doom brought by your own hands

Today's cooking:
Faux-italian experiment #4
Diced two shallots into a bowl, then grated a thumb of ginger and two garlic cloves in with it, then added a teaspoon of lime juice and some honey, stirred, and set aside to marinate a little. Chopped a container of mushrooms into another bowl, added some italian-ish spices and 1/2 cup wine because I had it laying around, set aside. Cooked a package of fettuccine noodles al dente and set aside. Heated oil over high heat, cooked some italian sausage, added mushrooms and simmered til wine reduced by half, added 2tbsp butter, simmered til it formed a bit of a thickened sauce, added the shallot-garlic-ginger mix. Stirred to mix it all up, cooked til I noticed the mushrooms caramelizing on the bottom of the pan. Added the pasta, tossed everything to coat, removed from heat and plated.

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>>24793388
Deep.

Hope is the thing that’s killing me.

I joined the local Isekai Club. We're going to meet every Saturday.

give me one reason i shouldn't 420 blaze it and make shitty chiptunes in furnace rn

I had a dream that I went to church and everyone in church was watching a Dota 2 match on a giant monitor.
I think my interest in Dota 2 is blocking my spiritual growth or something, I guess that's how I'd interpret it. I just fucking love Dota 2 though, I've been playing it for such a long time now

Gonna finally get a haircut tomorrow. Hopefully I get the cute quiet girl and not the talkative butch one.

Okay, this is fuckin' outrageous, the corruption is out of control.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fTv9ThJg6U

impeach NOW

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>>24793260
I haven’t written much since the ai slop era started, and now I’m worried that ai erotica has rotted my brain into not being able to write anymore.
I’m legit afraid that I’ll try to write again and it’ll be full of ‘isms.

>>24793304
It’s a normal impulse. It goes away eventually.
>>24793311
I don’t. It’s a miserable discipline with no answers that just gives me existential despair.

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Its quite ironic that I work with operations involving home loans when I'll never be able to afford one myself.

>>24793260
The light gathers with the light while the shadows envelope everything else. It's a dance more than a war. To understand one is to know the other. If at any point one were to consume the other it would weep like a Caesar over the absolute state of futility.

>>24793443
Are you going to talk about anime or web novels?

My family repeatedly attack me, both subtle and direct, for writing and aspiring to be an author.

>>24793808
Tell them the penis mightier than the sword. Learning how to write is one of the greatest skills in life.

>>24793260
Got The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, and The Secret History for $3 at a garage sale today. The Secret History had a bend in the cover that I've fixed well enough, but it's not the greatest. Still, when comparing it to how much it is on Amazon, I can't complain.

obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously

>>24793812
They'll call bullshit and say writing is mandatory minimum skill for business and worthless unless I personally demonstrate a six figure income from it. In the end everything in this hellhole is weighed in dollars.

>>24793812
lol

>>24793831
I almost exclusively buy used books. It's the way to go.

It's interesting some relationship dynamics between the sexes you never see. One scenario: girl no longer has a place to live, so crashes with the guy she's been seeing -- she continues looking for a new place of her own, while the guy here and there tries to convince her to just move in, but ultimately she moves out anyway, because she needs to be on her own. You would never see this in reverse. Are guys more in a hurry to settle down? Do women in our age value freedom and flexibility above all else? Hmm.

>>24793883
Or maybe guys are quicker to decide a girl might be the one, whereas girls know they have options these days, so don't want to risk settling down too soon, with just the first guy that happened to come along when something better might still be yet to come. That's probably it.

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>>24793260
not feeling too well, not at all. maybe i'll feel better tomorrow, at least on the surface, but i'm overwhelmed by choices / potentialities, tortured by both not actualizing any of them and the idea of actualizing one while sacrificing another (or multiple others). i ought choose one or two, just make a pass / attempt and struggle through... i ought, but will i?

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I had a dream last night that I rode my bicycle to church and went inside and it was full of people sitting quietly and paying attention, and I went and sat down and looked up to the front of the church, and there was a giant monitor of a Dota 2 match that everyone was silently watching.

I guess I've been neglecting my spiritual development by playing too much Dota or something, idk

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It didn't turn out the way you wanted it too

>>24793304
>they were the ones that mentally turbofucked me
It's not healthy to say this to yourself. At some point you have to take responsibility for how you turned out. Not because you are wrong, but because it will benefit you to have a growth oriented mindset.

Y'know, I think if I had gone into any kind of law enforcement, whether it be a cop, detective, FBI, CIA, or other intelligence, I would a) be very good at solving things and b) eventually end up dirty. I have a persistent desire to and undeniable knack for stress testing systems, figure out the loopholes and exploits, and then take advantage myself.

So I guess good thing I didn't else I would have ended up doing some serious harm. Damn, should have become a lawyer though.

>>24793883
A parasitic lifestyle is a diagnostic hallmark of sociopathy and neurological maleness is basically mild sociopathy

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>>24793260
I will start writing erotica to jack off. Porn is getting boring, and most erotic pleasure comes from the imagination anyways.

>>24793919
I do have a growth oriented mindset. I turned out really well and im still making big gains.

I just want a hug from my parents, man.

I wish my relationship with my sister was better because we're pretty distant and I find that sad and lonely. We never see each other outside holiday season visits home and she never contacts me and responds only some of the time when I contact her. However, I am also attracted to her, and I deliberately do not try to specifically do things with her for fear of acting based on that attraction and ruining my current, already distant, relationship with her. As a result we have drifted farther apart over the years, which saddens me, but I haven't tried to reverse the trend.

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Absolutely hyped on coffee at 2:30 am.

>>24794023
>However, I am also attracted to her,
How does this happen? Not grilling you I just can't wrap my head around the process

>>24793754
Yeah, i've met more than one such woman. A lot actually. Once i was seriously completely in love but she turned out to be a gold digging whore. Thats why im philosophising where does that impulse come from cause it doesnt make any sense at all rationally to fall in love with a whore. I didnt know initially she was a whore, mind you. Im not that stupid. She put on an act. I guess its just my inexperience with women. But yeah, life has fucked me over so much i honestly dont know if i can be strong. I sure as shit dont plan on putting on a strong act and fighting with the world for someone who takes it for granted and the moment i have a bad streak leaves me, cause thats what women are like.

>>24793260
The number one advice I have for /lit/bros that cannot get girls is to seriously try your hand at poetry and prose and maybe even published

Not kidding. I've been with 7 chicks and 5 of em were after I shared the link to my poetry/stories in a lit mag

One chick was an absolute retard too but she felt I felt she was smart so she felt great having sex with me. Women are so fkn retarded bros

>>24794115
This only works if youre 23 max

It’s been thirty long years, I’ve been here for nearly twenty! But, it’s finally settled. Now I will enter my weeb era. Yes.

My head kinda hurts from trying to smoke a cig. Probably cause i was sick last couple of days. Perhaps this will be the time i finally quit cigs. Or atleast that i smoke only couple a day

>>24794121
I'm 28
This only works if you have a steady job tho
Most women won't even look at you if you're unemployed. Who knows tho, the right one might see you for your potential and stick with you

my problem is i cannot just have casual sex. after i fuck a chick when i see her posting on social media or whatever pics of doing shit with a her bf or husband or whatever, a normal dude would be like "lol i tapped it" but i get all jealous and upset about it. i just can't a take a "w".

>>24794108
I don't like to speculate on evolution but it makes perfect sense that men would have this quick impulse to lust or "fall in love" because if it was not for that (and not for women's more prudent compulsion to attract men) we would not take much notice of women at all and thus the whole business of procreation would be quite difficult.
>It doesn't make any sense at all rationally to fall in love with a whore.
But man is vain, and nothing strikes his pride more than possessing a woman that is desired by others. Love is an agitation to defend this possession, but also the means by which the woman can dominate the man.
It's not irrationality, but there are trade-offs. Many things in life are like this.

>>24794115
This is my prayer:
If I ever become a writer, do not let my hand write a anything that does not have the quality of a nightmare, and express anything that does not scare the hoes.

one morning i'm going to wake up and rope real quick before i have time to think about it too much. i think that's the way to do it, like stoners who wake and bake, i'm gonna wake and rope, plus might as well go out well rested.

>>24793865
Yeah, a good chunk of the books of my shelf are used. I should check out the used bookstore in the city, haven't been there for a bit, I wonder what new stock they've got in.

>>24794141
indescribably based

>>24794125
Sugoi!

>>24794138
i dont want a woman that is desired by others cause i realize its impossible to keep her in that case. If shes desired by others she is probably provoking that effect and is flirting with others. She wants to see if she's attractive enough for someone to actually just go ahead and take her. So its basically all egotistical and vain reason behind it. Which means you can't keep her, no one can infact. So there's no point in trying to be with her cause those types aren't even capable of settling down.
I don't want a woman who "strikes my pride" I wan't a woman whom i can love and who loves me

Anyone else randomly get desires to pull all-nighters like once a week, maybe every two weeks at most? So annoying. Wish I could just maintain a regular sleep schedule. Instead it's 3:30am and while I'm starting to feel a little bit tired, I know I won't be able to sleep and I'm feeling like making some coffee instead.

>>24794155
The problem is that you are a coomer man, wich is the male equivalent of the whore. You don't want to be loyal to your wife, the concept of loyalty itself escapes your mind. You just want to coom in every other woman, and you think that one woman will just give you that for nothing in exchange. An actually virtuous man would understand that loyal women are rare and that getting one may take years if not decades of hard work. You basically have to proof that you are not a coomer man who would throw himself at the first woman showing the slightest sign of interest, even when he is actually in a relationship. Why don't you embrace your normieness and mindlessly fuck sluts like the pathetic coomer that you are?

i started reading shadow ticket before bed last night and i forgot most of the pages i read except that part about some guy "who could be bought for a song, and it usually wasn't 'puttin on the ritz'" lol no but fr i hate reading before bed cuz if u fall asleep too fast u forgot what it was

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HAPPY 4:20 AM

>>24793994
ok, carry on then

i think the reason i'm always in the mood to rope lately is cuz i now feel this weird ache in my chest basically all the time that's just related to the frustration of living life poorly, like u suddenly have this moment of clarity that u wasted your whole life, and it's like there's really nothing u can do in a few decades left to recover. it's one thing to have mental anguish or depression or whatever, but now i have actual physical feelings from it.

I write like William Faulkner, maybe even slightly better, but nothing I do is gaining any traction. It probably never will. I'm thinking of ending things.. I have my 4 children and 5 grandchildren. I think my job is done here

>>24794257
cardio would help all your problems

>>24794266
i ran 5k last night and felt good but this morning i feel like shit again and it's going to rain all day so i can't run. maybe i had symptomless covid and this is some weird long covid thing? when i think about my lack of love, intimacy, career success, and anything else good, it inflames that feeling tho, so i don't think it's some kind of covid shit. when i think about how i'll never be loved because i can't afford a decent place to live despite having a masters, my frustration just burns.

maybe i should become a gay guy. buttstuff is gross af with women nevermind dudes, but if a cute twink wants to suck it and say he loves me, it could be a better alternative than living alone in a cold world of materialistic uncaring women.

>>24794284
>skips cardio because of rain
Yeah I guess you're lying to yourself about a lot of shit, good luck finding someone else to listen to that

>>24794174
fuck off you retarded nig

>>24794296
sorry running in the rain is ass dude and i just did cardio last night. i'm planning to lift weights today anyways.

how is it u go outside and see fat and/or retarded people with families like how do they pay rent with enough space for that? how do attract a partner when they have literally nothing going for them? i don't get it.

>>24794309
fat/retarded people get together

>>24794365
so if i stop working out and start watching tv i might be able to find love? the fit/intelligent market is way too competitive in the city. you'd think working out every day and having a masters would be enough, but here u need to run a marathon and have an elite phd. then people wonder why the birth rate is ass.

i might legit have long covid or sth, i had a stuffy nose one day and a headache another day and that's it, but assholes at work had it bad, and now i have this weird feeling in my chest, and i can't think for shit. how the FUCK do u calculate willingness-to-pay based on conjoint analysis? man this is pissing me off.

Everything phase I've been in sucks until a few years later and then I'm nostalgic about it.

>>24794380
i can't get nostalgic for anything anymore my whole life sucked and it's not going to get any better this late in the game
>just be a totally different person bro
i would but i don't think that's possible

Imagine dating this bitch blowing up your shit with whining all the time

>>24794384
Maybe I'm just more optimistic. I even miss my lonely gamer NEET days; I had a purpose then, and a couple of online friends who I still think about.

my little cousin is over and he's collected some daisies and put them on the table. on seeing it i've come to realise that i'll never forget that time i was his age and did the same thing with a the girl who lived near me, it was raining heavily and we made a big pile, i was living in germany at the time on a british army base. it seems to always be on the margin of my mind even if i don't specifically think about it for years at a time. see no reason why it'll be gone by the time i'm 80.

you really live your whole life the first eleven or so years, the rest is auxiliary.

>>24794387
>implying any guy would actually be this whiny in real life
every guy learns early in life one must act cocky and overconfident 100% of the time. it's only on sunday morning on the internet that u can admit that life is a shitty chore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1aC4yQvCR0

>>24794393
i can't enjoy those memories anymore cuz if i had been working during that time i'd be loaded with enough dough to buy a really nice place and have mad cash flow from being mid to late career. i wish i could go back to being a gamer dude without a care in the world, but man that was such a stupid way to spend years.

>>24794398
ya, once ur personality patterns get set up, it's just one long boring autopilot

>>24794398
It's the color of the sky. It has to trigger something but I have no idea what that could be and neither does anyone else. Godspeed, anon

I'm so tired, yet have to go back to work tomorrow. If it wasn't for my planned unemployment time after I save enough cash I would literally rather kill myself than work another 40 years. There are people at my work who come there while being sick, and when I ask them why they didn't take sick leave they tell me "what would I do at home?". It's actually terrifying, I'm dealing with masses of flesh and bones, no other thoughts in their mind besides working at their job and working outside their job.
July 2026 will be the moment when I'll leave this place. With my saving prediction I'll have enough to both rest very long and also either find and learn a skill that won't force me to be around other humans, or I'll kill myself once the money will be gone
/blog

There are terrible weapons in heaven

ya

>>24794400
>Implying I wasn't talking about Amber Lynn Reid the cat killer
Lol you might be as self obsessed as her, get help

>>24793260
Make sure I won't be found for at least 30 minutes after I attempt? God fucking damn it. I guess I will have to wait for a day when I am home alone. It's good that I am thinking about this with time, though.

NIИ is the best band of all time

>>24794492
my plan is to go out into this nature preserve area behind my local park. if i go out there at night, some cop will probably be snooping, but i'm thinking maybe like 9am on a workday when yuppie jogger assholes will be at work. i could do it here, i'm alone a lot, but i don't want my roommate to be traumatized later.

>>24794486
i'm just self-conscious about being a whiny bitch because my life sucks and there's not much i can do about it

I remember everything. It's a dreadful, hateful curse. There's got to be something better than all this

>>24794495
Nahh tho his own remixes of his stuff can be really good

>>24794515
nin fans hated it but i kinda liked that how to destory angels or whatever he did with his wife. for me nin is always on the verge of being good but always has cringe elements that ruin it. my favorite nin album is the fragile but that's only because as a double album it almost includes enough good songs for one whole album.

The Philippines seems comfy as fuck, Filipinos seem cool as hell, I'd like to visit, but I don't know what I'd do there.

>>24794519
i live in a city with a big filipino population. they're ok. very catholic.

>>24794503
Who'd think killing oneself would be so hard.

>>24794529
people really hate to see someone escape, probably secretly envious.

>>24794536
By and large, I believe most people like living. Or at least subconsciously wish to remain so.
They would generally assume it is better if others too remain living. Hence suicide prevention.
Cunts.

>>24794525
Is it like that back in the Philippines, though, or is it just a western Filipino thing?

>>24794519
What about it seems comfy? I went there for 2 weeks. It would be great if not for the trash all over. Pollution has really ruined these countries.

>>24794486
>>24794400
>>24794387
Kek

>>24794486
Wait, did she actually kill a cat or is this the Gracie thing again?

>>24794599
She fucked Rarity out into the Wisconsin winter because a death feeder gf wanted her out of the house when she tried to overstay a two week visit. Lost cat=more time with the death feeder gf so Rarity had to go

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>>24794519

The Philippines is a beautifuly shaped country (geographically) that is.

>>24794606
>Lost cat=more time with the death feeder gf so Rarity had to go
:( I hope that relationship works out to its logical conclusion. I thought she actually liked Rarity but yeah she's evil

Every movement you make becomes indelible in the stains of time. It's like a carving. Your carving and it's always permanent. Good luck with living and good luck with dying

>>24794518
Further down the spiral

>>24794492
Don't do it. Your my brother. PLEASE don't. I'm begging you

>>24794618
Lol no they broke up because even with a death feeder she's still an annoying bitch. If you want all the tea check Rachel.Reacts on youtube

I want to take an axe and hack into pieces all of the people responsible for the influx of H1Bs since the 2000s.

>>24794636
>If you want all the tea check
Kek tbph I wish I could remove the lore I already know.

I really love movies. I think it's the greatest artform and human invention.

>>24794639
>axe

tell a lie

>>24794511
Same :(

>>24794704
just did

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just leaving this here, German Raymond Chandler novel with Caroline Vreeland OF big tittie thot on cover

>>24794155
It is good that you know what you want.
Just don't go too far into "all women" thinking even if you have been screwed over. If you believe such tendencies inherently exist in all women, that does not mean that all women embrace and act on them. You admit there are types not capable of settling down, so there must be a type that is (hopefully).
The path to wisdom and virtue is hard for both women and men, and many fall in wickedness or despair. You don't need a "strong act", you need strength of character. The will to keep on trying and begin again when you have suffered. This is the fundamental principle: Never, ever, give up.

you don't make it easy on yourself.

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God made it easy on me

>>24794090
Idk man it just kinda did. We were kind of close as kids but nothing in particular happened to cause this that I can remember. I just noticed I felt that way one day out of the blue, but I was noticing something that was already there for a while. I have another sister but I don't feel anything of the sort for her.

>>24794155
Sorry to say this is insecure teenager talk and you do eventually grow out of it if you spend more time among people

Just realized this young, female character on this TV show I've been watching reminds me exactly of one of my exes. Wish I didn't ruin that.

No gossip.

Every action is immoral, transcendence and movement is immoral but here we are

Posting is a game of wit, insight and math, the lack of which has been noted in these threads.
I am part of an elite order of posters. We have targeted this thread for an organized incursion.

Can websites STOP fuckin' using .webp format for images?? Makes it incompatible for saving and crossposting to 4chan, so I have to take a browser screenshot of the image in order to post it here instead of just copy+pasting the link. So goddamn annoying.

>>24795242
they’ve been making it more and more awkward to just save an img for the last 7 years or so, whenever google got rid of the ‘view image’ button

>>24795265
Right, that too. I've often had to screenshot images directly from the Google search preview because of that very situation.

Men are more likely to fall in love and be open to a long-term commitment when they find the right person. Women, particularly attractive women, know their value and surfeit of options in today's world, so are much more open to keeping things casual and moving on at a moment's notice. No judgments. Lot of broken hearts on the men's side, especially young men.

>>24795242
You can save webp files as pngs. I think. You can also just drag them into GIMP and then export as a png

>>24795308
>You can save webp files as pngs. I think
I'll try next time, thanks.

>You can also just drag them into GIMP and then export as a png
Meh, the screenshotting thing is easier than that. Plus that'd result in two saved files for something I just wanna use for a single post on 4chan and then, most likely, never again.

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Stayed in bed until 15:00 again...then wasted some more time...then finally started homework.
Im so goddamn tired in the morning. Absolutely DEVASTATED and CRUSHED I tell you.

man I miss being NEET

>>24793919
>At some point you have to take responsibility for how you turned out.
I know what you mean but no, he doesn't. We inherit the genetics from our parents and their wealth is tied directly to our chances of success. If you parents are poor and they have bad genes, you should blame your failures on them. You can still have a growth mindset but to blame your life situation on yourself is terrible for self-esteem. Employ the resentment you hold for your parents as a form of motivation to surpass them and if you ever have kids, provide them with the life stolen from you by destiny

>>24795403
>If you parents are poor and they have bad genes, you should blame your failures on them.
That's an awful viewpoint to have. Stewing in your own resentment for things that you couldn't possibly control will slowly wither away your humanity. Consider that there's nothing wrong with insulating yourself from a culture that takes pleasure in humiliating you for not being wealthy or tall and living a life of solitude.

>>24793919
NTA. I've been taking responsibility for 20 years and only recently realized how brutally they mentally turbofucked me and continue to.

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Da hood, it was placid and good
All were soundly tucked in
To Shaniqua, Tyrone said "Would."
The two relented from their fervid stint
Two hours in
Da hood had dat kind of rest.

The moon was an icy shard
--Its pall was bright
The crickets purred more than chirped
T'is this that
I speak of
As I wish you good night.

>>24795466
being an ungrateful son in your teens is bad but halfway forgivable because every (unwholesome) teenager has been thinking that since machiavelli but after that the blame lies solely at your door