Post your own work and critique others.
I once tried to make a couplet of spoonerisms Harder than I thought and flightly soolish.
>>24824368Is this a painting of Vladimir Stroitel? Amazing life story. Since childhood he had a dream to weld his own rocketship using the scrap iron from tank factories near where he grew up. And even though he burst into flames on the launchpad and became a quadruple amputee, he still inspires us.
>>24824368Forgotten god of Roman deadThine dog doth watch in blackest nightThe boatman circles closely henceHis river borders thy domainYour wealth could not suffice to haltThose living souls as hand from gloveFor writing far away they’ve setYour clan apart from theirs above
If there are an infinite number of natural numbers, and an infinite number of fractions in between any two natural numbers, and an infinite number of fractions in between any two of those fractions, and an infinite number of fractions in between any two of those fractions, and an infinite number of fractions in between any two of those fractions, and… then that must mean that there are not only infinite infinities, but an infinite number of those infinities. and an infinite number of those infinities. and an infinite number of those infinities. and an infinite number of those infinities, and… (infinitely times. and that infinitely times. and that infinitely times. and that infinitely times. and that infinitely times. and…) continues forever. and that continues forever. and that continues forever. and that continues forever. and that continues forever. and…..(…)…
>>24824368Revised this "sonnet" I posted in the last thread Rapid, the air’d begun to cool, and quitea sharp drop-off in temperature as well—as breezes do on many an autumn nightwhen April fails in muffling the Sun's fury during his daily tear across the sky. The walls of my new house were thin; the gapbelow the front door wasn't guarded bya thing, and I felt the sting of the East Windrubbing its Ocean-scented unguent over this irritated scab of Earth I live atop, as it seeped in—intenton salving every bit of my living-room.I might've born the chill a bit betterwere I not already down to my undies....and added a few bonus lines. (Basically, the guy is standing in front of the TV in the front room while waiting for his bath to fill, and getting undressed in the interim)I took them off as well, if you don't mind, while I was standing by for my bath-time;my mammalian paraphernalia were stiff enough to fashion diamonds with,whereas the one that turtles1 have went hiding…
Me makey poopy.Big poopy.Wa wa ga ga goo goo
when I heard you speakit brought back all sorts of thingsI’d like to forget
>>248248512deep4me
gungnir savages the creamy pureneedlestrike through threaded fateold prickeye
I hear that sweet old melodyTo others I seem just as jubelIn the backseat of my memoryI only taste salt and gravel From the juden filth in GermanyFirst poem ever I don't even know the rules. I tried to justify using jubel for rhyming purpose (I'm not even German)
>>24824916Trash
>>24824947One man's trash is another man's treasure
Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tongYing tong tiddle-i-poYing tong ying tong ying tong ying tongYing tong tiddle-i-poYing tong ying tong ying tong ying tongYing tong tiddle-i-poYing tong ying tong ying tong ying tongYing tong tiddle-i-po
I am the space you inhabit,the dead leaves you trample uponwhile walking to your faculty.I am that stone that nearly trips you,that fit a decade ago, but nowis just a passing annoyance.i am the still-looking air thatexpands and contracts to yourvoice, like water waves.i am the walls of lecture hallsthat absorb those sounds eternally -though you have left for years.you pay no mind to me,but somehow i know,dead leaves are not dead, but live eternally.
Loyal to my hated masterA wolf made a mouseHe left to the hereafterHis dog now in your houseYou were a diseased drunkI chewed through your chainsYou stumbled, I struckA wolf made king again
I think I saw and feltThe last spark of my youthThe moment I stepped out of theOpera Metro stationIn MadridFor a brief few seconds it flickeredThe smallness of everything on Spanish streetsThe smell of cigarettes smoked indoorsThe tiny elevator, so foreignThe ecstasy of new folds on fresh spiritPure experience before it becomes decrepit memoryI was 21 againWhen I saw cerveceríasClosed for their afternoon siestaIt has been so longI felt the anticipation of a first drinkA flash of my former selfLess jaded, less bitterI was going to be a doctorI had friends againAnd this was before they just became drinking buddiesTrue friendsBy the time I entered the apartment i was me againI sat on the balcony and hoped the feeling would come backA pathetic starving fishermanThrowing his line into the long polluted seaWe can never go back, and even if we couldWe shouldn’twe might get glimpses of how we wereThe glimpse is what’s good for usTo live in it would make us too softI wonder if all memories, good and badAre painted in divine rays of light when looked on from afarA neurobiological trickTo make a sterile hospital deathbedOr a gory end on the steppeA tolerable finaleso long as we can think of youth and homethe last lick of flameBefore the smoke comesBleeding out like a severed arteryI think this may just be what I tell myselfThe times really were that good.
>>24824951Bars
bump
>>24825535Inserting randomLine breaks into banalContent
Loyal to my hated masterA wolf made a mouseHe left to the hereafterHis dog now in your houseYou were a diseased drunkI chewed through your chainsYou stumbled, I struckA wolf made king againIn our youth I looked up to youYou could never dieAs you faded so I grewAs I ate your flesh I criedYou forgot yourself but I rememberEyes of glowing emberSun to my dark DecemberWhen will it be dawn(When will it be dawn)I'm king to a corpse in hellLike a dog I runFrom the darkness that fell When the wolf ate the sunA thousand years passA wolf made a sealWith eyes made of glassAnd no knees to kneelThought I heard your voiceA mirage or a ghostOffering a choiceI ferry for the Lord of hostsYou forgot yourself but I rememberEyes of glowing emberSun to my dark DecemberWhen will it be dawn(When will it be dawn)https://suno.com/song/c4b4fdb2-40f0-4ba0-8240-635a388f627eThe Heruli (warwolves) tribe were mercenaries that served under the Huns, then the Romans, then participated in the fall of western Rome and the kingdom of Lombardy. As a culture they didn't survive there but some returned north to their origins around Denmark where they eventually Christianized under the Roman church.
My fair Pomona owns an apple grove,And from a cord around her throat its keyHangs tempting me.For when we pledged ourselves in mutual love,'That grove,' she said, 'this key of yellowed bone,Be mine alone.'And I, half-dazzled by the winter light,Said—Yes. It seemed so pure and quaint a vow.It's autumn now.And what beyond that gate keeps her all night,How come those rotted apples stain her dress,I cannot guess.
Are you guys able to recite poetry from memory?
>>24829010the two poems i know by heart are Keats's To Autumn and (for some inexplicable reason) Upon the Late Storm, and the Death of the Late Usurper Oliver Cromwel, by Edmund Waller
a pastiche of 18thC pastoral poetry, which i've posted here before but has since been somewhat tweaked:When Applepip, fresh from the hunt, slid downThe smooth green slope which waving poplars crown,And on the dewy grasses draped the deer,She saw Mirtazapine approaching near:A long-forgotten friend! MirtazapineHimself addressed, while she remained unseen:'Three summers now, innumerable nights,Alone I've spurned all pastoral delights,Forsaken groves where shepherdesses danceAnd swains their honour and their virtue chance;So have I hidden on this mountainsideSince cruel Phillillys my suit denied.'Just then, Phillillys, couched within a foldWhere thistles bloomed, and fleecy she-goats strolled,Woke up. Drunk gods their summer sunlight shed;Deep she had slept upon her natural bed;The empty wineskin in her one hand clasped,The other o'er her aching eyes she cast.Why feels she so amiss beneath this vale?Its tufts of thistle and its she-goats pale,The morning sun which gods above provide,Nor pleased her sight, nor eased the dread inside.For she had dreamt (and goatherds trust such signs),As she stepped slowly through those unknown pines,Across her path a mangled goat-corpse lay;A bloody head it raised, and seemed to say:'Goatherd, attend. The primal powers bidThat I inform you what the Fates have hid.See my red fur; my downy throat cut throughWill look like mercy when they're through with you.'
>>24824952What is this about?
>>24829544being ignored by a woman probably
>>24829544being alive on the page, probably
>>24829544NTA but it reminds me of two things I sometimes think:1.) The past and places inaccessible to anyone are indelible in a way beyond us, even without observers.2.) That the world exists "beyond human influence" in this essential way is comforting despite it suggesting an underlying disunity between us and things.Usually it's the night sky and imagining other planets and stars that renders these thoughts in me, though. As a counterpoint to this glad "fullness" and ineradicability of the world independent from us (from "its perspective), I wrote something (bad) last year around this time that seems relevant to this interpretation I made up of that anon's poem:"This green apple's bleeding autumnas teeth strip the departing orchards;accomplice to every ciderhue eating summer green,and kin to what chisels mountains: the gnawing stream.Time would die before the same stealing.Our sentence: never again will things be whole or healing."I didn't figure out how to express my full thoughts and sentiment about the subject in a way I found poetically satisfying.
>>24829010yes.
>>24829010yeah.
slow heat rising from the pavementcouple of stray dogs at the world’s far endsilhouettes walking across the soft summer sunthey vanished into the white blurvoid filled with scant verdant fields gravel roads and abandoned trailer housessound of a sparrows trill, a crickets pulse,time burnt out slowly like embers of a dying flame Years on, I wonder if she’d pause,squint at my voice, my worn out face.She’s married now, kids, they say.the screen door creaked and i started dinner
>>24830263sounds like black metal lyrics
I never wanted things between the two of usto end up like this
Impressively expensive shoesChariots of high reputeThis is not a a boast or ruseI'm going hard on the lute
>>24832289Why would it be a boast or ruse…
>>24832314He is "keeping it real".
>>24832372The line just seems jarringly out of place.
the smell of wet smoke and hot breathbirds that nest on a barren treein the forest the sunset is breakingsoon to be twilightwhere i'm supposed to be.
>>24832289I grant your minstrelsy and pointed shoesMight, for a while, some courtly dames amuse;Perhaps the pages will, with jealous eye,Regard your stylish chariot roll by.But know, O dandy, that a dandy's powerFades like the waning of an evening hour.Your lute-string breaks, the mud your horse enmires,The dame grows bored, and to her bed retires,Black night descends, and now, with sharpened blades, The jealous pages lurk among the shades.Boast all you want; nay, prove your boasts are true;The grave, the patient grave, still waits for you.
>>24833097bathetic
>>24833142
>>24832433You just don't understand rap culture like I do.>>24833142What's your problem?
>>24824851Be careful, Rupi Kapoor will take this and stretch it across 3 separate pages
>>24833676Let me live, man. I was in my feelings. Also, I doubt Rupi is capable of writing anything that long.
>>24833676
e^(pi(i))+1=0I have no idea what it meansYet it is the most profound thing that I have ever seen in my life
>>24833770I get his point, but his satirical poem is actually kind of cool. AnywayMy memories are maladies; I cannot seem to breatheIt's clear that my companion is caught between my teethCompanion? Compost! She's left me here to die!And yet there doesn't seem to be a single way to cry -Well, maybe one;One single salty tear;If I dwell upon the feelings of having had you near, If I turn this shredded mind to make the smoothness of your skin -If I think upon the fact that you are fucking him -Ah, there it is!Could you be happy now?To see me writhe in agony, while you are freshly plowed?And rooted with his seed?Is this what you want from me?Is this why you still call me when your heart starts to bleed?Why is it I still answer?Is this what you mean to me?Ah. But again,It drains away - suddenlyMy well-practiced numbness drives away the pain,And drags it down below to await my touch again,So that I can function.My memories are maladies, but they don't mean much to me.I keep them in a box, a locked box,Far away. So that I can breathe.
Two plus two equals fourI have no idea what it meansMy ex wife is a whoreI know math in my dreams
Have some short garbage.Silver and gold - riches untold!Bring in the men from out of the cold!O, worthy sons, wrapped in your furs,To your militia all else must defer!We go for their women, their houses, their gold,We'll take able bodies - scrubbed and then sold!We'll cut out their bellies to see the sweet steam,We'll cut off their heads and slurp up their dreams!Inshallah!the trees are bleeding againi just wanted to go for a walkbut you're being fresh with me, aren't you?yes, yes, i can hear youno, no, it's not a problem anymorebut thanks for askingyou horrid bitchcall again soon!willing to accept it now that i have no other choice i suppose butwilling to come here every day and talk and let them talk andwilling to drive five miles out of my way every day every day every day andwilling to feel my eyes jiggle in their sockets as they try to get in my head andwilling to hear the same shit again and again and again and againand again andand againwilling to tell everyone that i've done it again, i suppose, butHoney, Daedalus is calling again!He wants to know if you've found the ground yet. Should I tell him you're still falling?
>>24824368no
>>24834415I won't bite.
>>24829010About three or four Larkin poems, yes.
I will never post my own workNor critique othersEven that retarded TurkInstead I hide under my covers
We matched on TinderBut never met.We never talked,But even yetI think of you.You wanna bet?You unmatched meFor no reasonLike an actOf high treason.During Fall,My favorite season.I'll never meet youIn real life.You'll never beMy wetted wife.I hope you're happy now,But I really don't.I said: I do.But you said:I won't.
I did not realize you were thereuntil, say, fifteen minutes passed.and when I did, I looked awayand tried to keep my gaze downcast.and when you spoke, I tried to feigncomposure—what else could I do?I left because I could not stay—it made me sad to look at you.
i wasn't meant for poetryfor the clever casting of wordsbut i did once have an interest -borne mainly from the Greeks -and i began to wonder where, exactly, it came fromi went so far as to go around the world for it - as i am quite a wealthy man -oh, the things i found!from the rainy streets of Rome, which ran black with oil, as though absolving of their sins,to themoonlit hills of Ireland, which glistened with soft, cold dew,to glittering, vibrant orchards, where Bacchanalian fruits practically burst with luscious juice as soon as they grazed my fingers;wasn't thereand i loved, of course, and lost, a number of women,snd thought maybe to find poetry there,for each was a fractal, their complexities ranging, spiralling through an infinitude ofparent-guided childhood bakingsfirst makeup applicationsprevious beaus (each worst than the last) -i kissed their pearl-white fingertips, saw diamonds glitter in their eyes,bade tearful goodwells andthrew the occasional lamp against a bedroom wall...i felt the wrenching pains of their presences and absences;i learned more than i could comfortably relate,and i found a wealth ofhumanitythat still sets me to reflect, on occasion,butno poetryexhausted, i went to talk to the poets, to ask where, exactly, they had got it fromand, i got the same answer from each one;from men much less traveled,and virgins, even,and one even blind,had all pulled it out, like viscera, to smear it on the pagei needed only what i had inside!elated, i tried it myself, but found,to my great dismay,that there was nothing in there at all.
no maybe the weird shit is rushed through mumbled speechjammed in hysterical incomprehension: hermetic jar patched to stop leaking down syndromed over this traffic beyond / keeping it inmerely eavesdropping on podcasters babbleit arrives: digging deep into rabbleto unearth a space shuttleboarding inout the stiff pause.
I go Zizek on this pussy capital reaching anti-socialist depths of aristocratic gnosis un-equalized through coherence disintegration as she smells my pneuma and wants to comprehendeternal means that need no endnow she's a river once it was sandI swim those waters masked like batmancloaked in leather human fleshbeneath — a pulsing fury (fresh)while I compose a poem (hymns)you won't hear 'em elsewhere (like films)saturn day morning deep cartoons[guess which word does rhyme with cartoons?]I do not drive nor have car toolswhat saves the wise, redeems the fools.
>>24824572What was your inspiration?
I paid the ticket at the gate to watch the beetle race.As I entered I could still feel the rain upon my face Climbing stands; within my stomach I ached with anticipation.As the people there began to cheer for the occasion I took my seat and fixed my eyes upon the beetle's shine.Within my eyes: the beetle made me glad that he was mine.Mine alone, the people there could never understand.To have that shining beetle nestled in my shining hand.The rain did cease and as if at once, the sun began to rise.The moment that the light had hit the beetles eyes.He started fast upon his race straight to the finish line.Before my eyes could focus: he had left his smoky trail.His opponent, me alone, inside his smoky gaol.I awoke, slowly, then the sun began to set.The beetle was now gone, I sat alone and wept.In his place was but a stain, a shadow on the ground.A pile of hollow soot; within an ashen mound.To watch the beetle race again, one must pay a toll.To feel his light upon my face I'd give away my soul.I never felt again the way I felt that dayBut when it's dark and I'm alone I watch him run away.The beetle's race it lights me up, when my whole world is dark.Till I weep and lo' I see, alone the Beetle's mark.