>and nobody will convince me otherwise"I opened the notebook in which I had intended to write the first sentence of my work on Mendelssohn Bartholdy and immediately saw that it was the wrong notebook, that it was a notebook full of repulsive scribbles from years ago, repulsive thoughts, repulsive calculations, repulsive lists of repulsive things, and I closed it again at once, slammed it shut, threw it across the room where it hit the concrete wall and fell to the floor, and I thought that this notebook was my whole life, that every notebook I have ever owned was the wrong notebook, that every sentence I have ever written was the wrong sentence, that every thought I have ever had was the wrong thought, that I myself am the wrong person, the wrong brother, the wrong scholar, the wrong human being, and that the only right thing is the concrete wall, the only right thing is to stare at the concrete wall until it crushes me, until it corrects me out of existence, until there is nothing left but the wall and the wrongness that deserves it..."
>muh wingback chair
>>24835299He looks like a member of the Psychedelic Furs
oh my god, he's proto-mccarthy
>>24835303>Woodcutter is his second best"As I sat in the wing chair pretending to listen to the Auersbergers and their guests, these people who had always struck me as the most repulsive and at the same time the most ordinary people in Vienna, people who had always been a torture to me and whom I had always avoided whenever possible, people who had suddenly invited me to this so-called artistic dinner after more than twenty years, people whom I had always detested and who now, as I sat in the wing chair, suddenly seemed to me more detestable than ever, more ordinary and more repulsive than ever, I suddenly thought that this whole evening was nothing but a trap, that the Auersbergers had invited me only in order to humiliate me, to destroy me once and for all, to finish me off, and that everything that was now happening in the music room was aimed at me, at my destruction, at my annihilation..."
>Controversy extended beyond his death when it was revealed that his will sought to prohibit the publication or performance of his works in Austria for 70 years. kek
>>24835316Because Austria had become a shithole >I wonder what he'd do if he saw the state of his country today kek
Diet Céline from Temu.
If you haven't already read Gathering Evidence, his memoir. Its extremely good and shows you where some of his particular hatreds come from, especially the sections on his education in Salzburg during the war.I've read all his novels but none of his plays, anyone find them worthwhile?
I remembered Hoeller's invitation to me and left the hospital as quickly as possible though actually still a sick man, I went to the Aurach valley, into Hoeller's house, into Hoeller's garret, my mind set on putting Roithamer's literary remains in order, now, as a form of convalescence, to do again what I had always done when in the grip of a fatal illness, to leave the hospital against doctors' orders and repossess my life by taking up my occupation, and I thought, standing beside the door, that my decision to leave had been equally correct in the case of this pneumonia. It had always been the right moment to leave the hospital against doctors' orders and cope with such a fatal illness myself. There had been no indication at all, when he left England, that he would never come back to England, I thought, as I brushed my jacket and hung it in the closet, of course I had expected him back shortly after his sister's funeral for which he had gone to Altensam, I can still hear him saying, I shall stay only the shortest possible time, what is there now to keep me there, in Altensam, in Upper Austria, in Austria, beyond the necessary minimum, the shortest possible time, one or two days in his opinion, which he did not even intend to spend in Altensam but in Hoeller's house on the Aurach, he had gone to Austria already intending to spend only the inescapable minimum of time in Altensam, to stay the night in Hoeller's house and in Hoeller's garret, there being now, after his sister's death, no further reason to stay in Altensam, though there is no way to avoid talking over the problems inescapably arising from the death and the funeral of my sister, so I must go to Altensam, but again and again: only the absolute minimum of time necessary, for now, after the death of his beloved sister, there was virtually nothing left to tie him to Altensam, with the death of my sister, he said, my relationship to Altensam has come to an end. Altensam is nothing more than past history, now, in future there will be no reason for me to set foot in the place, and he was thinking of selling Altensam, an extremely valuable property because of its fertile meadow- and farmlands in particular, and because of its easy access, Altensam, isolated as it was, did have the advantage of good roads, and this combination of remoteness and privacy on the one hand, with easy access on the other hand, guaranteed a high price for it, and now after his sister's death Roithamer was thinking of selling Altensam, he even had an idea of what he wanted to do with the money realized from the sale, an idea characteristic of him, which was to hand over the entire sum to his ex-convicts, without bothering at first to go into details, at one point he had even thought of giving them Altensam as a refuge after their release from prison.
>Bernhard was controversial in Austria for his public polemics against what he saw as his homeland's post-war cultural pretensions, antisemitism, provincialism, and denial of its Nazi past.I am uninterested.
>>24836624>tfw no Höller friend in whose garret you can convalesce whenever you need and listen to the noise of the river
