Anonymous
G&S Pastiche B. on true story(...) 10/30/25(Thu)03:47:08 No.24840832

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G&S Pastiche B. on true story Anonymous 10/30/25(Thu)03:47:08 No.24840832

To the tune of ‘A Magnet Hung in a Hardware Shop’ from Gilbert and Sullivan’s comic opera ‘Patience’.

Based on a true story.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WInHlBYqPUM

https://www.gsarchive.net/patience/webop/pat13.html

(Grosvenor)
A tradcath hung in a church youth group,
And all around was a loving troop
Of hopeful and wishful, would-be wives,
Offering love for all their lives;
But for average the tradcath felt no whim,
Though he charmed th’ average, they charmed not him;
From hopefuls and wishful wives he’d run,
For he'd set his love on a potential nun!

(Maidens)
A potential nun!
(Grosvenor)
A potential nun!
His most dogmatic,
Nearly schismatic
Fancy took this run —
"If it’s not sinful
And thinking not wishful,
Why not a potential nun?"
(Maidens)
His most dogmatic,
Nearly schismatic
Fancy took this run —
"If it’s not sinful
And thinking not wishful,
Why not a potential nun?"

(Grosvenor)
And girly girls expressed surprise,
The gamer girls had met their demise,
The trads said "it’s over", no doubt,
The nerdy girls voiced themselves "left out",
The sporty girls boiled with rage, 'tis said,
While ev'ry girl went off her head,
And with much rage all their mouths began to foam,
Till the group time was up and they drove home.

(Maidens)
And they drove home?
(Grosvenor)
And they drove home!
His most dogmatic,
Nearly schismatic
Fancy took this run —
"If it’s not sinful
And thinking not wishful,
Why not a potential nun?"

(Maidens)
While this dogmatic,
Operatic
Lover he lived to learn,
By no endeavour
Can this man ever
Attract that potential nun!

(Grosvenor)
By no endeavour
Can this man ever
Attract that potential nun!