"Ratboy Genius" editionPrevious: >>24892833/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQRESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvCPlease limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.(And maybe double-space your WIPs to allow edits if you want 'em.)Simple guides on writing:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk Thread theme: https://youtu.be/IFfLCuHSZ-U
>121,000 out of 300,000 ishGod, these last few days have not been great for me. Hopefully, a bit of coffee will help. Coffee or a nap
NTR stories are great
How long should my 1st draft chapters be? Just the barest bones of the story? What do we think?
>>24907549We think this question is stupid and you're retarded for asking it
>>24907554Great, let's just sit in silence as usual then. Gee, I wonder why no one comes here anymore.
>>24907568Don't come back.
>>24907568What exactly do you want us to say?1000000 words?10 words?1 word?Seriously, what kind of stupid question is "how long should my chapters be on my first draft?"How the FUCK would or should we know. Your chapters are as long as YOU want it you dumb fuck. Go write something instead of asking retarded jeet questions.
>>24907218Why they made LJK pronounce historic with some weird New England accent
>>24907571>>24907573Post writing
>>24907624I'm Victoria anon. You've read my story and offered no constructive feedback besides>woman>she>herwhat use are you?
>>24907624I am also the Victora anon.
I like to write.
>>24907637>>24907648how are you victoria anon? I'm victoria anon.
>>24907654he said victora
>>24907657my mistake.
>>24907239Update:>123,000I know no one responds to these, but it keeps me honest. Kind of like Strava kudos
>>24907573how long were the chapters on your first draft
Thoughts on my poem?
England is becoming kind of dystopic and I'm getting a little worried that by writing is going to get me into trouble as it's quite controversial. What should I do? Is there even a move for me?
Writing and drawing a short story. I feel the introduction is more or less done.
>>24907817Ai
>>24907694Doesn't matter.
Why is /wg/ so proud of kicking out the /wng/ people aren’t they better writers because they actually write?
>>24907239If it’s just genre slop anyway you should not have wasted any words.
>>24907654I am victronia anon.
>>24907855/wg/ is a containment board filled with idiots that don't write. /wng/ are better writers. The sole writer here is Victoriaanon and she doesn't even write as well as the LITrpg writers in /wng/
>>24907865But /wng/ is full of idiots, too.
>>>24905986Thanks for the suggestions, but what does "Tom" mean that isnt tied to names? Had to look up "Derrick">>24907000The point is kind of that it doesnt seem obvious what theyre doing at first (both to the readers and people IRL) and that theyre european(-inspired)
>>24907901A tom is a male of certain animals like cats
>>24907218
>>24907865I've seen some pretty good things out of /wg/. I have never seen anything good out of /wng/. This is presumably because web novels are poisoned by Chinese slop. There is also a distinctly social element to /wng/ that you do not see elsewhere. A sort of Red Queen running in place that dictates that they start engagements to no end, and raid other threads to no end.At the root of it of course is the simple and undeniable fact that while /wg/ may well host authors who for reasons of anonymity do not want to publish large segments of their work or identify themselves, /wng/ has every incentive to actively show their work--and yet they don't. Web Novelists are the lowest dogs in the entire genre of writing, they have no shame and thus they ought to have no restraints--yet they clearly do.
>>24907549>Just the barest bones of the storyit's a good idea to get the whole story out, so i would say yes if you can. but in reality you will tend to write whatever you are compelled to write in the moment and it may meander so you just go with it
>>24908023Excellent dialogue
>>24907571>>24907573Trogs.>>24907549I've begun to consider recently that shorter chapters will encourage readers to keep reading. One because short chapters will make them feel smart for reading up to the next one in quick time. Two, if you use chapter titles, you can drop a fresh hook to retain interest and push them to go ahead and read one more. All my personal take. That said, 2,000 words/5 pages might be a sweet spot? If you're cooking, do what you feel is right, but consider what I said to keep readers hooked.
Offering my critique services for a fee. I will critique your outline, your plot, your prose, your characters, your dialog, your first chapter, whatever it is you're unsure of. I will observe your intent, tell you what works, what doesnt, and suggest edits, and even suggest similar books that may help you with your tone and style.
>>24908031I've noticed this also. I've started just writing something along the lines of HE SAYS HE DOESN'T LIKE THE CHEESE. in red caps if I get stuck. I think this is kind of working. The downside is that my chapters are now about 400-600 words long, which is a bit of a concern.>>24908077Yeah I kind of agree with ONE, because Les Misérables has really short chapters and you do kind of fly through it. I've never done chapter titles because in my first book I did them like the Vulgate cycle and the editor humiliated me for it :/ I'll maybe give it a go. 2000s sounds like a good angle, I think that's pretty typical. I've never really found much of a need to go beyond that. Okay I'll add titles. I suppose my real problem is kind of that it's getting very complicated and I'm a bit paralysed by needing to add in x and hint at y and remember to mention b while doing blah and blah and it's just tricky. I need to get a finished copy cemented so I can pretty up the mess.
>>24908099Why should I pay you? I have no way to gauge the quality of your critique.
>>24908077It doesn't matter how short you make your chapters. If your shit is dull your reader will get bored
>>24908124fuck you my shit isn't dull
>>24908127Post it then
>>24908127Then why attempt to trick the reader into thinking that by keeping your chapters short?
>>24908077the downside of short chapters is that you will have more chapts. when someone looks at a TOC it can be ovewhelming and also suggest that the story is longer than it actually is. as a reader, i woud ideally like to see something like 10 chapts listed in a TOC, not 30 or 50.
>>24908202Would it be evil to create an initial ToC that provides the page numbers for the "books." As in there might Book I, Book II, ect. Then, at each book, introduce a sub-ToC that tells you the chapter pages. Too autistic?
why not make a table of contents that only lists your Books
>Have an idea for a portal fantasy>Sit on it for a while as I work on other projects>Isekai becomes popular>If I finish it now then I'm a faggot slop merchant who writes isekaiWhat do
>>24908328>slopyou didn't use AI though
>>24908338All AI is slop but not all slop is AI
When I write, it feels more like I'm observing someone more skillful than me do the writing. When I reread my writing, sometimes I will go "wow, that is such a clever way to phrase it, who wrote this?" before being reminded it was not-me. It is entertaining to read my writing but sucks some of the joy out of the act, knowing that I cannot take credit for my own work.
>>24908272i think what's better is that you divide the TOC up into books and restart the chapt count for each book. so there is no chapt 30. instead it's Book 3, chapt 10.
>>24908027lol we hate the dude trying to start thread wars too, honestly i thought that guy was the /wg/ troll (since the /wg/ troll has self admitted to taking on different personalities to bait people for fun, and he haunted /wg/ for years before we made our own thread)>ought to have no restraints--yet they clearly do.the anons that don't associate with 4chan do it so trolls don't follow them. we have actual audiences and public reputations to damage. honestly i would've thought /wg/ers would be the ones to have nothing to lose and always post work (most /wg/ers don't have readers and based on what they write never will, let's be real here)
what gives ratboy genius man his shameless creativity and drive? usually that is reserved for the retarded and the insane
Do any popular authors actually feel bad for writing uncreative crowdpleasers that appeal to the lowest common denominator? Once in a while I think about giving it a shot and inevitably failing. >It's actually a talent in itself to write like that!Either way no one should be proud to have it.
>>24908444doesn't matter, you'll still fail
>>24908444this post reeks of cope
>story is a man trying his best to save his wife from vandals>Finds her>But she has lost to the cock and now refuses to leave the daily gangbangs>Hero leaves in victory for finding his wife but changed, just as the hero's journey dictates
>>24908444Conan Doyle with Holmes kind of. He said he would feel like a failure if after his death the only thing people remember him for were those novels
what makes people publish on predatory platforms like webnovel when they could be doing self-publishing instead
>>24908122Well I cant post any critiques I've done, because that would be a breach of trust with the author. Basically what I do is point out good prose and strong moments when I see them. Some manuscrips have none, some have one, some have one on nearly every page. If something sounds clunky I'll break down why it didnt work. I'll point out cliches like "shouted at the top of his lungs" and suggest a rewrite. I'll point out when I feel details are missing, when characters disappear or the setting is a void. I'll point out strange tone shifts, tense shifts, and character inconsistencies. I mark up manuscripts pretty extensively. What I wont do is try to change your story into something it's not. If you're writing some grimdark edgelord fantasy, I'm not going to tell you to tone down on the blood. If you're writing a cozy slice of life, I'm not going to tell you to kill off characters. If you're writing something fantastic, I'm not going to complain about lack of realism. That's what a lot of bad critics do. They ignore the purpose of the story and try to turn it into something else. I cant guarentee you'll like my critique, but I can guarantee it'll be better than whatever dumb AI you're using for critique.
>>24908531>get stabbed to death by tranniesThis is my fetish
>>24908977We do all that for free here
>>24908977>My critique is good and worth however much I'm charging for it >source: dude trust meI don't trust you.
>>24908943The predatory platforms will make your numbers go higher, giving you the illusion readers are finding your work without you having to market.
I hate that whenever I revise it turns into a total rewrite it means I wasted time writing it before and I’m probably just wasting time rewriting it now because I’ll just rewrite again the next time I attempt to revise I should KMS
>>24909298It's all part of the path to the finished work
>>24909298I also hate how, if I go to work, I'll probably have to go there again tomorrow, and it feels like a waste of time because I might have to go there the day after that too
>>24909344>why should I wash myself if I'll just have to wash myself again?
>>24908977But I like cliches
>>24907859125,000, and it isn't. I've posted some excerpts here before and people seemed to like it methinks. It's more like notes from underground or something, Faust or so on.
>>24909298I hate how when I drink water, my body pisses it out, and has the gall to stilll want more. Day in and day out, like a big baby.
>>24909344>>24909978>>24909428These analogies are retarded. You’re retarded. Retards.
>>24910191Not as retarded as the "I wasted my time because I had to rewrite" anon
Is it okay to post my Victoria story here?
>>24910493You'll have to compete with mine
>>24910411Fuck you bitch if I was a good writer I would have gotten it right the first time
>>24910493and mine.
>>24910524You'd have to be not just good but a perfect writer for that and nobody's perfect.
These goddamn bots/wannabe scammers on goodreads keep giving my book fake 5-star reviews
>>24910680Good. It boosts your book to the front page
>>24910682I'm not talking about a webnovel platform. Only way you're making it to Goodreads front page is buying an ad.
>>24910493It has to be the BBC chapter
>>24907218Can I get critique on one of my latest chapters? I'm almost done with this novella
>>24911151there's not enough context here to make much sense of it. the language itself seems somewhat archaic (or British?) and it would be difficult for most readers to figure out what's going on. it's a bit too compliciated in my opinion, but i am just a dumb american
>>24911217NO YOU ARE WRONGThe language is beautiful and all the moving parts are absolutely elegant. The writing entices the reader to deliberate and contemplate. Is there really a novella's worth of this prose? If I cannot buy his book, I at least want to suck >>24911151 's dick!
Yesterday, I got my first story acceptance and I was a little underwhelmed as it was a lesser known and niche literary journal. (Here's my post about that.)Just now, another one of my stories (that I consider to be my best), got accepted at Chicago Quarterly review which is one of the best literary magazines. I am so unbelievably hyped. It's 4 am in my country, and I can't even share this with my family and friends. It feels like I'll burst with happiness. I just wanted to share this with you all.The writing advice on this general has definitely been a major factor in improving my writing. Thank you all so much.
Fuck, this is what real writing is...
>>24911223I'm on the Chicago Review team and I know who you are. We're canceling your contract for being a fucked up 4chan user.
>>24911305I wonder if their story is any good
>>24911306Of course it is. It's Chicago Quarterly Review!
What do you guys think about the kind of plagiarism where, say, you're reading a book and a line really sticks out to you, then in your own writing you reuse parts of the line (most likely with minor to major alterations to better fit context)? Off the cuff this may seem like an obvious bad thing to do, but I've been reading annotated copies of various classics, and it always sticks out to me when the person doing the annotation manages to notice that a certain line or pseudo-quotation (aka something not cited, but presented as a notable quotation within the canon of the work) is actually from another work. Unsurprisingly, the most common from old literature is people riffing on particular turns of phrase within the Bible, but as far as I remember Herman Melville also just had a penchant for incorporating lines from various old literature into his work in subtle ways that would not have stood out to me much if I was not attempting to be a writer.My point obviously is therefore that many greats in history, and respectable people, engaged in what might be called a "respectable" brand of plagiarism where one identifies strong ideas in works and repeat them in small moderation. I've never heard of anyone cancelling Melville or anyone over this, though admittedly this is something hard to notice - for example, right now, I'm considering a line from an utterly obscure sci-fi book I read in my youth. It's a perfect fit for something I'm going for. If I was Melville, I would be putting it into Moby Dick. And I doubt that anyone would ever noticed, either in the past or not. But the weird part is that in 2025, it is technically much easier to find this kind of thing (I guess which is why the 2000 era people annotating Moby Dick can find so many). So it feels kind of to me like an ancient practice that good authors employed in their great works is likely going to become increasingly taboo, and I was wondering if anyone here had thought about that or noticed it like me. Obviously, nobody in the whole world is ever going to give a shit about me or my writing, so I'm not asking this as if I'm one such great, or even that I would 'get caught' for doing this kind of thing. It's merely an interesting middle ground.
>>24911417Good artists borrow great artists steal
>>24910660Not with that attitude.
Hello, /wg/: First time caller, long time listener, etc.I'd like to share a short story (16 pgs.) I wrote some years ago for grad school. I recently revisited it and made some minor edits, though it definitely needs further attention.The main influence — which will be stupidly obvious to all who know — is Gene Wolfe's BotNS. But the story itself is a reimagining of Plato's Symposium; the thematic question is: "What is the origin of beauty?"It's been 5+ years since I've been on /lit/. [Jesus, where does the time go...?] Of course, I'd like to hear your opinions and critiques, but I'd also like to hear from all the uncs and nephews about how things have been going.Please be gentle with me! (read: Please walk me home gently!)https://archive.org/details/symposium-yes-homo-edition
>>24911417I share your interest in this topic. Unless you lift quite a lot, I think the consensus is that such reuse falls comfortably under "homage." When the DUNC movies came out, there was a revitalized campaign to drag Herbert for his repetition of certain phrases/images from "The Sabres of Paradise" (a history on the 19th-century Caucasian War; picrel). As far as I can recall, this campaign went effectively nowhere since most agreed it was fair use.Weirdly enough, >>24911433's use was the first time I felt I neared understanding of that trite old chestnut. As far as appeals to authority on matters of literary style, there's hardly anyone more authoritative than Melville. IIRC, I also read an annotated version of Don Quixote that tracked how often he borrowed or reinterpreted phrases from contemporary chivalric novels — one can say that it was obviously to lampoon them, but Cervantes' use of these works was far more subtle than straightforward parody.Regarding how abidance might change in the digital age, I personally don't care much about it. I'd argue any author who is truly passionate about his work seeks only to be judged sub specie aeternitatis; since this practice has such precedence among the greats, it is acceptable on those grounds. [Plus: no press is bad press!]
>>24911417>>24912169And when I said "picrel," I obviously meant to forget the image...
>>24911417it's not plagiarism if it's an allusion. that its, it's MEANT to be identified as the work of another author (and the allusion is supposed to make sense because of the context). if you are trying to pass it off as your own, hoping nobody notices, then it is plagiarism pure and simple.
>>24912175These are all examples of plagiarism
>>24911217>But I am just a dumb AmerimuttOpinion disregarded.
Do these mean the same thing? Or is the latter incorrect?>Caroline wasted no time in tackling her new responsibilities.>Caroline wasted no time tackling her new responsibilities.It kind of sounds like tackling the responsibilities are a waste of time.
Do you want to start small but do not know where to send? Send to a genre magazine or a literary journal.LITERARY FICTION>HEAT Magazinehttps://giramondopublishing.com/heat/contact/>Pays much more than genre magazines.>Overlandhttps://overland.org.au/submit/'>Pays well for fiction and essays – $550; poems – $170>Ploughshareshttps://pshares.org/submit/journal/>Ploughshares pays $45 per printed page, with a minimum payment of $90 and a maximum of $450 per author for general submissions>New Yorkerhttps://www.newyorker.com/about/contact>estimates suggest it pays around $7,500 for a short storyPOETRY>32 Poemshttps://32poems.com/submission-guidelines/>$25 per poem>Oxford Poetryhttps://www.oxfordpoetry.com/Submit.html>Poetry Magazinehttps://poetry.submittable.com/submitSCIENCE FICTION>Clarkesworldhttps://clarkesworldmagazine.com/submissions/>1000-22000 words, no exceptions>12c (USD) per word. No horror but dark SF/F permitted.>Asimov'shttps://www.asimovs.com/contact-us/writers-guidelines>Up to 7500 words, at 10c per word (USD)>Fantasy & Science Fictionhttps://www.sfsite.com/fsf/glines.htm>Up to 25,000 words in length. 8-12 c (USD) per word. You must read a sample of the magazine before sending.>Interzone Digitalhttps://interzone.digital/submissions/>Maximum of 5000 words. 1.5c (EURO) per word. Double-spaced and emailed.FANTASY>Beneath Ceaseless Skieshttps://www.beneath-ceaseless-skies.com/submissions/>Up to 15,000 words, 8c per word (USD)>Provides feedback on rejectionsHORROR>The Dark Magazinehttps://www.thedarkmagazine.com/submission-guidelines/>We pay 5 cents/word for original fiction up to 6,000 words...>Deadlandshttps://psychopomp.com/the-deadlands-guidelines/>The Deadlands seeks stories about death... they pay pro rates, at 10¢/word for original fiction.>Nightmare Magazinehttp://www.nightmare-magazine.com/submission-guidelines/>Dark fiction, from psychological horror to traditional supernatural tales. A top-tier pro-rate market.>Pay: $0.08 (USD) per word for original fiction.>Apex Magazinehttps://test.apex-magazine.com/submissions/>Payment for original fiction is $.08 per word up to 7,500 words. Minimum of $50.
>>24912175>>24912169Very based, this is in fact exactly what I'm talking about.Some of those come off as excessive and lacking in artistry, but I think it is a sign of a great writer to notice solid turns of phrase and keep them alive. This image will be pretty useful for me. It's notable that Frank Herbert is a widely successful author and even with these claims about it's not like the average person is disputing Dune's greatness on its own. Even here we see a layman just shrugging it off as plagiarism, despite its success as a writing technique. That said, taking so much from ONE book may be a bit excessive? My mental image of this concept is kind of like someone reading 1,000 books, and taking 1 great line from each. Rather than being really inspired by one book and just mining it for quotes.
>>24913204The impression I get is that the first means Caroline did her new work quickly, and the second is more like she quickly got started.
>>24913411>start small>try The New Yorker
>>24907239YOU PERFORM IN SPÍTE OF THE SUBSTANCES NOT THANKS TO THEMAlso, writing's a work of the long breath. If there's 5 years between novels it's fine. More than that is certified lazy. Quicker than 1 month is rare.
>>24911433No, you retard, we are all just humans and our fulfilled experiences are basically the same, that's why everything seems alike
>>24911222Correct
>>24908374Wear a dreamcatcher as a necklace you'll get there
>>24913620My wife — who is the love of my life — once wrote a piece that made an editor from the New Yorker cry. She called him a pussy (to his face). You just have to appeal to their estrogenic selves.
>>24913620It's more so getting into the habit of writing and sending off a story every week or two.
>>24913748Thanks chat
Tempted to just give up and write schlock like everyone else. I can't escape the feeling that I could make more money by doing what's easy. Pls halp
>>24913900I wrote part of a webnovel as a joke but realised you just write to the crowd. It's not even for money. It's for clicks. Fuck that. Just be true to yourself.
>>24913900Write slop but have a deep subtle meaning behind it. >>24913900
>>24913748You wife is a bitch dude
>>24913492> did her new work quicklyWell that's a third potential meaning
I'm thinking on writing a smaller piece which I intend to use as the foundation for a larger work. It'll be a largely separate story that I mainly intend to use as practice to flush out certain concepts and elements of the world before I start on the primary story. Has anyone else attempted this?And as an aside how do you prefer shifting POVs be done? I've considered both first-person and third-person narration for it and generally lean more towards the latter as it wouldn't require having to state whose POV it is for a new section.
>>24911417I pretty much lifted whole entire excerpts from Iliad. Nobody so much as cared.
>>24914416>And as an aside how do you prefer shifting POVs be done?I'm trying a strategy where I keep strictly explicitly one pov, and after i finish the entire thing I'll see if make sense to consider fleshing out any other character's narrative. I think it's good to finish one character narrative—like the protag and the fundamental story—first, then once the ink's dry on 'the end', you can use your newfound building blocks to fit in any other narrative pov you think will fit the overall narrative. You could also make a spin-off with other povs too, or something like patreon chapters.
>>24914246The guy absolutely had it coming, as he helped to desecrate a literary institution that 99% of /lit/izens would defend. But yes, she can be all "no pickles" to strangers.
>>24913748yo my wifethe love of my lifeonce wrote a piecethat made an ny editor cryshe called him a pussy to his facesomething something something based
>>24914543I don't like her. It's her or us
>>24914552Anon-kun... mōshiwake arimasen... I made a promise before God.
>>24914562God called her a cunt and said you could do better, I heard Him
>>24914599Bro, God is straight-up lying to you
>>24914617Blasphemy
It's easy to be non-emotional. Simply be locked up in solitary confinement with little food or water under horrible conditions for some lengthy period of time, and you will likely never be particularly emotional again. Your social abilities will be starved, your brain will be morphed, and you will have experienced such sharp agony that the idea of any kind of writing engendering an emotional reaction would be laughable.Yet, this is not praiseworthy. A placid uncaring is the mark of nature, where lions shed no tears for deer. Emotions are something humans have cultivated carefully and preciously over our years. They are something of a miracle. No other creature on earth will shed tears over writing, or even have the capacity to shed tears at all. Therefore, it is not admirable to mock those who cry over pieces of writing. It may be that the writing itself is garbage. It may be that only a shallow idiot would cry over it. Yet, the fact that tears have been shed at all is a humbling reminder of our species. And those who would mock it are more animals than men.
Pretty short first draft. Eh, let me know what you think if you like. https://rentry.co/kbgfngb5
Editing my novel and it made me cry today
how do you guys find covers for your books?
>>24914914Just ask AI to generate something for you. Hell, just ask AI to generate the whole book for you.
>>24914887I can see why you're Steadman-posting, even if I haven't read much HST. It's a very good draft.Tbh, its length is what kept me reading: Though the first paragraph is immediately conversational and engaging, I likely would have lost interest (if it were a longer piece) somewhere around the middle of the second paragraph.That would be my loss, however, since I really like what you did at the end of that paragraph — "And then even when he did think about something [...] it didn't matter." I thought it was a clever bit of circumlocution that led to some nice, juicy ambiguity. In fact, there are many excellent turns of phrase throughout. Still, there's little substance that would entice me to read an extended version of this draft unless there was more development; just reading some guy's heartbreak-induced suffering is not compelling in itself, even though the narrator is. Even so, you might disregard this opinion as a matter of taste (which it is), as I'm not that big on drug literature like HST and Burroughs.>>24914899Submit that excerpt to the New Yorker, then
>>24895970Is there a source for this quote? I absolutely love it.
>>24914927Wow thank you for the thoughtful analysis. I typically hate drug literature as well, and the story by and large is without it. I was just feeling a little bold with this piece, so I posted it. I agree with you on all points, to be honest and want to keep it nice and short. Drugs are kind of a dead horse to beat imo. I'm glad you liked the circumlocution, because I spent a long time umming and ahhing about it.
>>24897820Not by a long shot.https://slate.com/culture/2024/04/book-sales-publishing-industry-statistics-substack-penguin-lawsuit.html
>>24914927>submit to the New YorkerI'd be much more inclined to if they had the courtesy to send rejection slips. Silent rejection is just rude
I just wrote 722 words in a hour while edging.
>>24908027I would never post anything approaching identifiable here. Being a "4chan writer" is a death sentence.
>>24914914alibaba just released a new image generator that's supposed to be da bomb. something like z-image or something. give it a try
>>24914914>>24914922I do use AI now. In part because of its limitations and in part to avoid a successful copyright suit, it's done in a way that requires substantial editing to justify it being an original work. I have an eye for design though and experience with the tools to accomplish that. I wish it weren't, but working with artists is a fucking miserable waste of time, especially if you aren't clueless.
>>24907721How she reacts to it depends on whether you're handsome or not.
>>24907877Yes, but the /wng/ idiots write. The people here just write pretentious crap like "The suits are dead. They died a white starch death. They bled blue and red and stripes of pin and tartan. It actually used to mean something, the colour of your neck tie, your professional noose. Debates were had on this matter. Articles written on the choice of shade. The daring choice! The Choice That Asked A Question! The tie that ended it all! Or the shirt, yes, the shirt and the colour thereof, and its lineage from Greek weavers to James Bond to JFK, which, from the assassination of course, harkens back to the collision of those two primary colours of Great Nations and Standard Vision: red and blue – the mixture, distilled, the blood red and the royal blue is one and the same. Royal Blue Blooded, their veins betray their caste under transcluent skin we could all see through yet did nothing, for so long, until it was announced: The suits are dead – though they look like their standing. They’ve been ironed well by the woman who looks after their kids."
>>24910680I wish someone would do that with my utterly dead books.
>>24908099No, you'll just outsource the work to ChatGPT and then try to charge for it.>>24908977>claims to qualify to be an editor>can't even spell "guarantee" consistently in a single sentence
>>24914899Post some?
>>24915104wrong. we write about Victoria getting blacked and jeeted.
>>24914934Victoriaanon
How's my prose?
>>24907865but there's multiple victoraanons amogus....
>>24907855A common misconception. /wg/ writes, it's just half of us are too cowardly and pathetic to share our work
Guys, I'm running out of ideas. I can't write anymore. What should I do?
>>24915727Start writing character vignettes and see what stories they want to tell.
>>24915370$20 and I'll tell you in depth.
I have been reading segments of Dexter to help my first person writing. I realize i was too rushed and frantic with my writing before. any suggestions for better first person writing?
I want to write a children's book"Bob's Super Fun Friday Night" or somethingBob (11) and his brother Billy (8) have a fun day going to school and then going home. Bob and Billy share a bed because they are brothers and best friends. Bob helps his brother brush his teeth get dressed and they talk about how they like to play the game "don't wake the giant" in the morning. They go to school without breakfast because they are running late, but eat apples as they walk to the bus. They like to pretend that going to school is an adventure. they like to take "shortcuts" that make it take longer, but are funafter school, they go to the swimming pool. They sure do love the pool, they stay for hours every night, so they have to walk home under streetlights. Hey, pizza for dinner tonight, then they play on their PlayStation in their underwear. Well Billy plays and bob watches. what a fun day this has been!And the pictures only show the area around the characters, what they are doing, the rest is a white void. THE TWISTIt comes with a second version, where the empty space is filled in. Bob and Billy share a bed because the window is broken, and it's so cold. The giant is their father, passed out on the couch surrounded by beer bottles. The apples are taken from a tree in someone's yard. It's a long walk to the bus, through a dangerous neighborhood. the shortcuts are to avoid dangerous dogs and people.The swimming pool is free for students, and it's the only way they can shower. They stay late at night because they need to wait for their parents to be gone. The pizza is frozen pizza Bob microwaves and puts in a pizza box. The freezer has pizza and vodka, the fridge is just beer. The PlayStation is hidden under their bed, and they only have one controller, that's why Bob just watches his brother play. They have to hide it under their bed when they are done or it will disappear. They only have one school uniform, so have to take it off and hang it up so it doesn't get too dirty. It's the same story, but with context that changes the whole meaning of the book.
>>24915694when i shared my work you guys told me to kms and it took me a month to recover
>>24915849You're not supposed to recover from killing yourself, that would defeat the point
>>24915851it's not my fault the rope broke
>>24915869Yeah, it is.
>>24915874it was made in china, ok?
>>24915848Then write it. Ideas are cheap
>>24915849That's pathetic, coward
>>24915727Leave the house, live life, come back, and write about it.
What should be the minimum level requirement for Priestess Lily to cast the spell liberate mentes vestras against necromancer darque’s undead horde? Also would a 50% or 75% mana cost be more appropriate? I mean, this is the finale of the Ivirica Cycle, after all!
>>24916355Game dev?
>>24916370I’d guess litrpg. He should ask this question in /wng/.
>not part of a story just an exercise>let me know what you thinkHow's things he said smiling ear to ear.Oooh not too bad, how's yourself?I'm having a great day, just found out I can come back for an audition.An audition? What kind of audition would you be gettin?For a film, not a big part or anything, but more than tree #3Haha, so you reckon you'll get it or what?I might, I mean there were a hundred or more auditioning for the part and i got through so there should be decent chance.Well that's good, will I be seeing you on the telly or will you have me spend my drinking money on a ticket?Haha if I get the role I'll pay for your ticket.I'll hold you to that.As the bus pulled in Gerald said goodbye and walked on.Liam got on, his smile ever so wide as he greeted the bus driver and paid for the fare.
>>24916448just noticed I messed up some punctiation, please dont be a cunt about it.
>>249157271. Drink2. Deprive yourself of sleep3. Walk out to a quiet bench or part of town or the woods and just smoke a cigarette or something4. Listen to music5. Watch a movie you love or even one you loved as a kid, might bring up some emotion thst can trigger your mind to understand your character more6. write jibberish for a bit and try and see if it fits the character and then write some more jibberish, bs conversations he/she would have and so on.7. Write literally what you see and feel: 'I am sitting here in my cold garage, cheeks rosey and fingers numbing'8. Jerk off, changes your hormone balance or something.9. Drink coffee, same deal as alcohol and jerking off10. Walk around the blockI do all of these, not in order.
>>24908374Honestly? Read Keats. You're not alone in feeling that you are but a vessel for the muses.
>>24915727Poems, remind yourself how satisfying sentences can be... individualee
Some good excerpts so far, but where's the swistusion?
>>24916355Sounds like a worldbuilding question. >>24868365
Realistically what are the drawbacks of uploading my manuscript to chatgpt or something for feedback/spellcheck? I hardly think it's going to steal my shit wholesale, and if I get published, it will be scanned anyway.
>>24916707There are no drawbacks and it's apparently decent for spellcheck, it's just pretty much always giving you feedbacks that amount to "This is great! Your writing style is really unique and interesting! Here are the ways to make it just a tiny bit better!", which is not very useful.
Woke up in a deep sweat. Thinking of Victoria anon. Remembering that Victoria anon asked for advice. Remembering that Victoria told the soldiers of her castle that she is "of the fairer sex", and thinking that a women would never say that, and it reeks being written by a 4chud. Must help Victoria anon. My eyes are burning.
Reading bad writing motivates me to write better :)
>Wanted to summarize my plot in one page to check if it makes sense>It's already 2 and a half page long and I'm only 60% doneWelp
>>24916998What is your retarded ass talking about? While it's true the phrase is typically used by males, that doesn't make it inaccurate to the period
>>24916998She manipulates men into doing what she wants. And the best way to do it? >I am a weak woman, fight for me you stupid apes.And 9/10 men will white knight for their queen.
>>24916998You can save his soul, anon. God be with u.
I think I tore my dick from writing too hard yesterday...
>>24916998>>24917085>>24917092>>24917099>my story became a meme;_;
>>24917477Not really. But even if it had become a meme, it's on people's minds. And I'm serious about the 'fairer sex' line, I dont think it sits right. Anyway, post more Victoria soon nigger.
https://appalachian-spring-a-declaration-of-post-american-autonomy.tiiny.site/In September I had a manic episode and wrote this in five days with little editing.Read it if you want. I'm good now, kinda just want to write an absurdist epic and disconnect from political writing.
Literally us
>>24917562I'll make you cringe more as she girlbosses her way to victory.>>24917099it's honestly a somewhat religious story.
>>24917736
>>24917720>financially successful Couldn't be any of us
>>24917755because you refuse to write shitty romance slop for idiots I am a successful author of internal educational media for children
>>24917739
>>24915848Solid story idea. I recommend changing the PlayStation to a Nintendo DS or Game Boy Color (which isn't rechargeable unfortunately), or some other portable gaming device that doesn't need a TV. This also allows you to hide it somewhere more creative than under a bed.Two boys sharing one uniform is conspicuous. Shouldn't it be okay for them to each have his own? I see you're trying to have it symbolize the boys trying to protect their purity/cleanliness. Maybe they have a good luck charm from someone that was really nice to them (neighbor/social worker/teacher/friend/dead relative) and instead of keeping it from getting dirty (which doesn't make sense since it would get dirty from the outside, not at home), they clean it carefully and regularly. You could make it so Billy's POV is shown first. Billy is happy because Bob works so hard trying to reframe everything positively and hiding the truth from Billy. Then when you switch to Bob's POV, you see that Bob is miserable and his only solace is his brother's happiness. It's a great idea and honestly, with only minor revising, it would be ready as a microfiction story. If you're willing to stick it through, it would be even cooler as a children's book. Good luck.
>>24916448Dialogue flows nicely and naturally, like how you'd talk in real life. Just tell chatgpt to put in the quotation marks and punctuation.
>>24915848An idea: you could have the boys take good care of the Game Boy itself. Limiting the time they spend on it because batteries are hard to come by. They would spend maybe 15 minutes on it to spark their imagination and then they spend the rest of the time role-playing.
>>24917782Wont chatgpt mess with the text?
>>24917792If you scream at it, it'll leave your text alone.Please add quotation marks to the below text. DO NOT DO ANYTHING ELSE. DO NOT CHANGE THE TEXT AT ALL. I REPEAT: ONLY ADD QUOTATION MARKS.
>>24917792As a reader, I prefer this style of dialogue. It might not be the most concise it can be, but that can be overlooked if I can read through it easily. It takes maybe 15 seconds of my time to get through something like this, whereas a description with big words would be more of an investment of my time and effort.
>>24917792And as I've mentioned before, you should pick and choose the grammar corrections chatpgt suggests. So, put chatgpt in a window to the left and your story in ms word/google docs/whatever to the right, then go through each fix chatgpt suggests and if you understand the fix and agree with it, manually make it in the right window.
>>24915848It's neat but it's not a children's book. Not sure what category it would go under. I would say it's a viable (adult) short story.
>>24917774>Two boys sharing one uniform is conspicuousi mean they only have one each. >>24917786>>24917774it doesn't switch to a different point of view, the words stay the same, but the pictures fill out, the white spaces get filled in and recontextualize the whole thing. so the pictures are suspiciously placed on the page. Think a double page spread and the only image is the boys opening the box and eating pizza on the far right.Then the adult version of the book shows the steps of bob taking a pizza out of the freezer and cooking it like a comic.Bob himself doesn't realize that this way of life isn't ok. The tragedy of the story is that for both of these boys, this is just how life is. Children don't know if their living situation is bad, it's the only life they have ever known. Describing this day to an adult would sound like a great day, video games, pizza for dinner, swimming after schoolA portable game system would be too easy to hide, and would allow them to use it in their room. think of how often alcoholics would take their kids stuff and sell it. >>24917818the point is that you would get two books. one for the kids, one for the adults
>>24917855>would be too easy to hideMy line of reasoning is that the kids do not want their parents to find their gaming device. So they choose a portable one that is easier to hide, thus making it less likely for their alcoholic parents to find the device and sell it.
>>24917796>>24917809>>24917815Thanks, will remember that.Also you guys got advice or know what beginners might mess up when writing a story?I find it difficult to connect everything and that tends to frustrate me and stop me from writing or even knowing what to write.
>>24915848Sorry, I don't think I emphasized this enough. It's a great story. Simple in delivery but full of detail, true to life, and can be read multiple ways. You should be proud of yourself.
>>24917720>Winds of WacoI need to get outside more
>>24916479Don't forget the mighty poop break.
>>24917720I would lawyer tf outta her butthole
>>24915848The concept is nice, if not original. I think it would be much trickier — and thus more satisfying — if you could pull it off subtly, in just one book. To have such a terrible truth gnaw at the edges of a (seemingly simple) children's book would require a great deal of artistry, IMHO.
>>24917736>>24917739>>24917757Jesus Christ, it really is a girlboss story. Why would you do this? >"Women are the only beings men listen to"This line is cringe, and aside from obviously not being true, it gives the impression that this is your personal belief and it's leaking into your story, or that's what normies will think anyway.
>>24918429I will sell my soul to get traditionally published. Can't do much about it either. It's historically accurate. She is literally a girl boss.
>>24918606Historically
>>24918689The name change from Jen to Victoria makes it flow so much better. Jen is too abrupt and short, while Victoria's three syllables has her name roll off the tongue. Great change
>>24907732>Is there even a move for me?Are you serious about this, about moving away from the country, or is this some passing whim that you're not actually willing to put any effort into?I will share what I know if you know this is something you actually want, but it's crazy how many people online muse about immigrating but aren't willing to put the slightest amount of effort in to actually do it.
I have a scene where my character is eating dinner in a manor house, with posh hosts, and she needs to make several etiquette mistakes that strike a balance between seeming arcane (so the reader can identify with the character not knowing those rules) and seeming like they have some basis that actually makes a difference rather than being completely arbitrary (so that when the hosts correct her mistakes, they don't seem entirely pedantic, but I do understand that to many people they will seem pedantic no matter what.)Any suggestions? I'm looking for maybe 3-5 mistakes she could make.
>>24908202Does anyone rate book length like that? I always just look at page count. Chapter count would be crazy.
>>24918722I'm changing every single character's name to Victoria. Only brainlets will call it confusing
Hmm.. think I will also write a story now. Maybe a hardened detective with a dead wife and a passion for justice. And he's named Victoria.
My current problem. I have a bunch of interesting points and conversations, but nothing is actually happening between them. It's just mildly interesting and witty conversations floating in a stagnant sea of prose.
>>24918841Why would a man be named Victoria?
>>24918783>the hosts correct her mistakesand why would they do this?
>>24919367What does that matter in relation to the question?
Victoria is everywhere!!! The show is pretty good too.
What the fuck happened to this general since the summer? Almost no excerpts are getting posted at all, and the ones that do get one or two bits of crit. And now this Victoria shit? Haven't even seen crab anon in a while. Man, maybe everyone just moved on. Stranger in a strange town.
>>24919448Go critique Victoria
>>24919448We stan Victoria anon!!
I will be renaming Sinner's Descent to Victoria's Victoria. Every name, not just of people, but also of things, will be changed to Victoria. In fact, every single word will be replaced by "Victoria" making the novella nothing but the word "Victoria" repeated over and over again 20,000 times. I am also taking steps to legally change my full name to V. V. Victoria. Guess what the Vs stand for.
How does one answer narrow college application questions without sounding like AI?
>>24919448I think it happens in all generals eventually. Big and retarded personalities realise there is a place they can shit up and make their little dopamine farm, and all the people who actually want to contribute something leave.
>>24919448>that filename It got infested by ESLs like (You)
If you could see me nowIf you could see howI spend all my daysHow I while them awayOh, If you could see me now!
>>24919554You're supposed to be using AI to fill those out now. It was probably written with AI, hence why it's making you feel like you have to answer like an AI.
>>24919448Most posters here don't want criticism, they want affirmation. There's no sense in giving them critique or advice.
>>24919503vagina
How do you make a story bleak without making it so bleak readers stop caring?
>>24916921It is really good for spell check and grammar. I've also tried it to rate my prose against "professional writers" and it can give me a rating out of 10. The style suggestions it provides are subjective so I don't actually recommend writers to follow it blindly, but it's interesting getting instant feedback based on its datasets.
>>24919942well presumably you're writing it because you're interested in something more than just describing bleak things. e.g. you're interested in how people narrate the bleak things that are happening to them, or how they care about the bleak things that have befallen other people they meet, or how they strive to escape from the bleakness. and if you're interested in those things then chances are the reader will be interested in them too.
>>24919811Then why come here at all if that's the case? Pretty bleak
>>24919811>>24920129Most people won't effort post to criticize in the first place
>>24920129Habit, more than anything. A touch of naïve, unrealistic hope that it can be turned around.>>24920243And most that do are garbage and won't listen to criticism anyway.
By all means criticize the chapter without using misogynist language or intent. You guys can't do it. There's plenty of mistakes in the piece. >>24917736>>24917739>>24917757
>>24919832Correct. I am become that which I eat
>>24920558I would've if you'd taken the time to follow the rules in the OP and merged that excerpt into one image.
>>24919811the issue is that the criticism is so consistently shit. once in a blue moon people do come here seriously wanting feedback and get either no response, or 1-3 retarded responses and never come back
>>24920689NTA, but have fun.
>>24920963Now you've spammed the thread with four posts I won't read. You should've waited until the next thread to try again.
>>24919811I want criticism and you people have been awfully quiet about giving it because there isn't enough to make fun of due to my having long ago put my 10K hours in.
>>24920558>without using misogynist language or intent.okay: it's cringe
>Been writing this book>130,000 words in>Realise I've just written A Clockwork OrangeFuck my life
>>24921029>intenttry again
>>24921117It doesn't matter. Something something good artists borrow great artists steal. How many times has 1984 or Lord of the Rings been written?
>>24921121The prerequisite was "without using misogynist language or intent", which I interpret as misogynist describing both language and intent. "Cringe" is not inherently misogynist, though admittedly there is a strong correlation, there was none implied here.The other interpretation would be that you ask for critique without intent, which is absurd, and can not logically be true, because by giving critique there would be intent to do so.So it seems you are almost implying that any form of criticism is misogynistic, which is extra cringe; and misogynistic of itself, since it assumes that women are exempt from criticism and should be judged differently from the rest of humanity.That gives us three options: A. you need to learn to express yourself more accurately, because the current phrase doesn't match your expectationsB. you are a cringe misogynist, which is paradoxical because that would make you based and cringeC. you are an absurdist and you expect critique without intent, as if it was spontaneously pulled from the ether
>>24921171so are you going to critique the actual piece?
>>24921201yeah, it's cringe
>>24921202Can you elaborate?
>>24921206yeah, it's cringe and gay.
>>24921206you admitted that this piece of work is garbage because it can't be criticized without seeing it for what it is: femboss slop
happy to say nanowrimo is over. I got about 40k ish words this month on my bakugo fanfiction slop, feeling pretty good about most of it. I took a day away from writing yesterday to celebrate and will likely wrap up the remaining 10k words this coming week. It's been a good time making the explosion boy suffer.Did you guys do nano this month?
>>24921221you're hypered focused on "femboss" that you have a fishbowl view of said piece. She's not even a femboss, except you insist she is because she orders someone that's a MAN around. Holy shit, it's as if you never had a girlfriend, wife, mother, or even a female friend in you life. And people will listen to queens. 4chan is notorious with misogyny and even the word "she" gets faggots here triggered. You just admitted you can't find anything wrong with the piece besides it being a "female MC".
>>24921240>fetch me your king>she sat high on her horse*vomits in misogyny*your work reads as a lesbian power trip designed to emasculate men and spout misandry.it's garbageit's just as garbage as a gay man coming up with imaginary situations to throw dirt on women and making his mc a flawless righteous hero of lady-bashingexcept that would at least be funny
>>24921252Yep, you can't do it except spew hatred of women and proven my assessment of you based on the few posts you posted. Your last point about "except that would be funny" proves it. You can't help yourself. You need to see "Misandry and Misogyny" in everything and cannot critically assess a piece without trying to see gender nonsense. You're as bad as Reddits nonsense about "feelings and triggerwarnings".
>>24921272I bet if you read Anna Karenina, you're going to say it's shit because it's "KEK SHIT!"
>>24921272It's obviously misandrist ragebait drivel, written with that intent. In that sense you have succeeded exceptionally, but as literature it has no value.
>>24921252You could have said, the story made no sense because why would she announce she's helping Marcellus and immediately change to betraying him. Why does she have a Latin name in a world of Nords? Why would dying for a wife and child be better than dying for a nation? Why doesn't anyone recognize her hypocrisy with having these men die for her cause instead of Marcellus? Why would a bunch of random peasants trust someone that has allegiance to the "romans", their perceived enemies?There's billions of things you can criticize, but you went STRAIGHT for woman hating.
>>24921283Narcissisms is not a good look. You can't control what criticism you'll receive. Maybe write something more worthwhile if you want to be taken serious as an author.Though I suspect you won't have any issues finding a market for the garbage you create in today's day and age. You wont find it here.Deal with it. Your stoic femboss heroin would have surely moved on by now to more important endeavors, right? Or would she not have rested until she marched into the headquarters of the evil menmongrels and castrated every single critic?Is that why you're here, on your crusade against manhood? Do you have no value as a woman on your own?
>>24921283I don't hate women, I hate what you wrotedon't conflate these things silly woman
>>24921283All these points stem from the fact that at its core this was not written as a serious work of fiction but as someone obsessed with feminism. This was conjured up out of (incompetent female) hatred and anger so it's bound to have mistakes. So by calling out the main problem, namely that it's femboss drivel, we tackle all the resulting inconsistencies and the poor writing. You would impress me with well-written misandrist femboss literature but I doubt it exists. In any case, this isn't it.
Nothing in the tank today.
>>24921322>All these points stem from the fact that at its core this was not written as a serious work of fiction but as someone obsessed with feminism.Why do you assume things that you know nothing about? Again, your fishbowl lens of "misogyny" is seriously affecting your ability to critically assess a piece of work.
>>24921336I don't even hate your takes, I find it sad that a "general" that is supposed to help each other with storytelling, is just bitching about /pol/ and /r9k/ nonsense. /wng/ even has better critiques than the supposed "literary" movement here.
>>24921336Ah yes, the old "you're not competent enough for your opinion" cope. You just assumed I hate women, because I didn't like your work, which you know nothing about. Hypocrite much?
>>24907549I have a rule for my first drafts now which is "it doesn't matter if it's shit, it just needs to get done" since I have a big issue with going hard for a few weeks before not writing a single word for months. I can fix and add and reiterate during editing but if I don't have anything written I can't do that. It sucks that the majority of what I pump out at first isn't near the quality I'd like it to be but at least it exists on paper and I can go back any time and bring it up to whatever quality I desire.
>>24921336Your logic-filter of "I can write anything because I invalidate any criticism as misogyny" is seriously affecting your creative abilities.
>>24920558By dedicating a lot of time and effort to portray soldiers on a war torn battlefield as uncivilized barbarians it calls into question the motives of the author. Left and right lie scattered mangled corpses, and amidst the scenery the beaten survivors gather for a much needed meal. How dare they forget their table manners.What manners?They have just seen their comrades slaughtered and commited heinous acts on their enemies. They have done and seen things they will not speak of if they return home, because they will never be the same. Some of them have given up hope to ever see home again, some may not remember what home feels like.They had to sacrifice their humanity for a greater goal, because nobody else would stand up for them, and there they are being filthy unkempt men. How dare they.In terms of storytelling this is disgraceful and offensive to the reader. From this dynamic the intentions of the author appear very insincere and driven by not-so-covert gender ideology.
>>24921342No I assume you hate women because you literally posted the following words and phrases>lesbian power trip>emasculate men and spout misandry>cringe and gay.>stoic femboss heroin >evil menmongrels and castrated every single critic?I posted this story and different parts of the story numerous of times and every single time, you just post>WOMEN!!!!!What am I supposed to assume besides you hate women so much you can't even stand them in fiction. It's complete nonsense.>>24921368I've written about men before and male MCs. This is seriously your own internal issues you need to fix.
>>24921335I did a lot of editing today. I should be writing
>>24921387LOL you didn't even read the piece. Everything you literally criticized is addressed and told to the reader and catered to your very criticisms. The scene is literally a queen coming into a war torn camp, feeding them, ignoring their mockery, giving them an alternative to return home, and give them a life outside of battle. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Holy shit, you really just read>SHEand began to hate it.
>>24921388>>24921401I would be a misogynist if all women were such cunts.
>>24921401Nothing of what I addressed had to do with women or men but with poor narration. You're absolutely obsessed with gender. You chose to put emphasis on gender in the work you shared. Can't blame your reader to notice it.
>>24921416You couldn't have noticed any of the storytelling, if you didn't read it.
>>24917757>She glared down upon him with utter contempt and disgust.Unfortunately this sentence reads as the most honest and direct voice of the author, and perfectly captures the entire passage into a single sentence.
>>24921406>cuntmaybe you need to be better and see women as people, not holes, cunts, mouths, breeding factories, punching bags, sandwich makers, housekeepers, and masturbatory material.and maybe, finally, you'll have someone like you for who you are.
>>24921445why wouldn't a woman view a weak man with utter contempt and disgust when she's been surrounded and raised by strong men?
>>24907218If I want to try and publish my writings anywhere, to build any sort of fanbase for an eventual mystical goal of achieving "monetary success" with my writing... Am I better off trying to submit stories to magazines or journals? or trying to pitch manuscripts in the traditional sense? Or does it make more sense to self publish and maybe even go the route of web serialization on all the different websites that exist today?
>>24921444The main point of this criticism: >>24921387>>24921387>By dedicating a lot of time and effort to portray soldiers on a war torn battlefield as uncivilized barbarians it calls into question the motives of the author. Left and right lie scattered mangled corpses, and amidst the scenery the beaten survivors gather for a much needed meal. How dare they forget their table manners.>What manners?>They have just seen their comrades slaughtered and commited heinous acts on their enemies. They have done and seen things they will not speak of if they return home, because they will never be the same. Some of them have given up hope to ever see home again, some may not remember what home feels like.>They had to sacrifice their humanity for a greater goal, because nobody else would stand up for them, and there they are being filthy unkempt men. How dare they.Refers to the scene in the first image, specifically the sentence> Customs and manners were as forgotten as the cleanliness of their clothes.And has nothing to do with gender but everything with how out of place that sentence feels when you just described the horrors these people find themselves in. Of course they are not going to be well mannered, so why mention it? It's a poor choice if you ask me. I see no added value to the plot of portraying warriors in their own camp as unmannered, it's self-evident. Or is there a necessary purpose in the story to emphasize their uncleanliness? From this excerpt I can't infer it. Is it just because they're the villains? Then this narrative is childish. I could argue that war might instill more humanity and kindness among soldiers than you would think, especially after an intense battle. And unmannered according to who? Even a queen competent to enter a battlefield should understand the conditions of war and the effect it has on soldiers. This sentence seems like the voice of the author coming through for no apparent valid reason. No misogyny intended.
>>24921483>And has nothing to do with gender but everything with how out of place that sentence feels when you just described the horrors these people find themselves in. Of course they are not going to be well mannered, so why mention it? It's a poor choice if you ask me. I see no added value to the plot of portraying warriors in their own camp as unmannered, it's self-evident. Or is there a necessary purpose in the story to emphasize their uncleanliness? From this excerpt I can't infer it. Is it just because they're the villains? Then this narrative is childish. I could argue that war might instill more humanity and kindness among soldiers than you would think, especially after an intense battle.>And unmannered according to who? Even a queen competent to enter a battlefield should understand the conditions of war and the effect it has on soldiers. This sentence seems like the voice of the author coming through for no apparent valid reason.>No misogyny intended.That's a fair criticism. More of you need to be like this anon. Was it that hard?
>>24921456I see cunts as cunts if they're being cuntsYou need to fix your mind if you think that means I think all women are cunts and the other thing you said about women (holes, cunts, mouths, breeding factories, punching bags, sandwich makers, housekeepers, and masturbatory material).Why do you reduce women to those things?
>>24921490>Was it that hard?No because I already said it, but apparently it was hard for you to read because I had to say it twice before you abandoned your misogyny shtick. For your own good, "your highness", get off your high horse.
Do you discuss screenwriting in these threads?
>>24921456Firstly, who says I'm not a woman and secondly why does this matter so much to you
>>24921490>That's a fair criticismCool, now address it. Prove me wrong that you wrote that piece with nothing but contempt against men in your heart.
Gonna write something where parts of Florida become an Indigenous American ethnostate. Floridians without tribal roots are smushed into ghettos and subjected to genocide. While non-tribal Floridians fight for their freedom, "Florida man" becomes synonymous with "terrorist." Supporting Floridians, even just verbally, becomes illegal in some countries. How should it end?
>>24921502I wish. I love screenwriting
>>24921490Less of you need to be like you.
>>24921527Oh okThere's occasionally a screenwriting general on /tv/, but that board is too spammy for it to last. Guess I'll just go back to writing.
>>24921536Or you could write later. I just made one >>>/tv/216332738
>>24921554I'm technically supposed to be working right now...
>>24921503>who says I'm not a womanThere are no women on 4chan tranny
>>24921556In that case you should take a nap
>>24921503>who says I'm not a woman The tits you haven't posted. GTFO
>>24921509>Prove me wrong that you wrote that piece with nothing but contempt against men in your heart.I cannot because I never wrote a piece with nothing but contempt against men in my heart. I don't hate men.
>>24921569too caffeinated for that, unfortunately
>>24921497you didn't say shit. and i take back my "praise of your criticism" because after rereading your criticism, you were "looking" for an example of trying to sound smart, when everything you said was addressed. You could infer whose perspective it was, since even the earlier paragraphs has it written from Victoria's POV. You could have said >that paragraph needs to be more clear that it is from the MC's point of view, but instead, you glossed over it and did not make any serious attempt at trying to understand the piece. Especially when everything you mention had been addressed in the narrative and directly answered your criticisms if you took even an additional minute to read it.>Why mention it?Because it's from a queen's point of view, why wouldn't she take notice of it?>because they're villains?why would a queen march into a villain's camp and declare things? That's a terrible question to ask.And since the entire scene is literally her offering these battle hardened miserable men a different cause to fight for, I can only conclude you didn't even bother reading it except skim a few sentences and try to find "fault" rather than addressing actual fault.
>>24920558It seems that you want to take on a story that challenges classical, traditional gender roles, and this is a formidable challenge because it challenges our own conventions, understandings and feelings. I think it's important, for the sake of the story's integrity, to remain a neutral voice as an author in the unfolding events. Now, if it is your intention to purely take out some of your personal grudges and insert yourself as the queen to vindicate women, you can ignore this advise, because then you're free to make your writing as therapeutic as you like. However, in that case I don't think it's proper etiquette to expect others to treat the product as a serious literary work.If you want to work on making it more accessible to a broader audience without mistaking it for a hate piece, I would suggest that you try to make yourself "blind" to gender of the characters, even if their gender is thematically or plotwise relevant. I assume it is somewhat relevant because you didn't just pick a queen by accident, but that makes this project all the more challenging and thus rewarding.This would filter some of your own feelings and biases you may not be acutely aware of from spilling into what strictly needs to be said to progress the story. It may also be less frustrating to you because a clear felt division between your voice and the story can give you a better grasp on both these elements and a better understanding of the reader's experience and any feedback you may receive.It can be as simple as just mentally referring to soldiers as "soldiers" instead of "men" and "the royal" instead of queen as you write. That leaves the whole "focus on gender" out of the process, assuming that wasn't your intention.I had to read it like that to better understand the story in order to criticize it, and by doing so, the seemingly misandrist narrative became less grating, as it allowed me better to differentiate between narration and plot.
>>24921609Yeah you're a cunt
How come you won't attack my novella with half the vitriol you do the Victorianon?
>>24920243I used to effort post criticism, and people either just tried to start a fight or ignored it.Maybe you think my criticism was just bad, which is fair enough as you haven't seen it, but I saw pretty much anyone who gave criticism get that kind of response.
Realising that there's probably too many depressing scenes in my book and I ought to break them up with some quips or something.
>>24921609>and i take backTypical woman, can't rely on her own words, in the next five minutes you will feel differently and say something entirely differentWill you take this into account when portraying queen Victoria as well? The effects of the female nature on her position as commander? That would make for a realistic approach, and an interesting story. How a queen struggles with her innate feminine tendencies while trying to lead men to their deaths.
>>24921121Oh I see. What a great way to avoid taking any flak so you can feel good about your writing.
>>24921626>>24921626if you consider men and women as specific terms the need to change everything to gender neutral hurts the narrative. This piece is highly focused on gender, since it does use a lot of gendered language (Valkyrie, Queen, Woman, etc,) it becomes far more necessary than using gendered neutral words. It's also clearly a historical piece, so having neutral terminology caters to modern sensibilities, but I think it makes the writing weaker. Gender specific terms provides strong contrast and must be clearly emphasized since it defies normal gender roles. The issue is assuming men=women, and our current plague of women killing thousands of men without effort. Any woman that actually enters such a scene isn't going to go around beating men up. Which lends itself to what can a girl do on a battlefield. In this scenario, as a queen, she won't grab a sword and start besting every soldier there. She'll use her "royal authority". Sitting proud and tall from her horse, have her soldiers guard her, she'll have edicts. Even her response to rally soldiers is purely emotional with the emphasis on life and family rather than a more male minded logical reasoning which would be for glory and valor, two things women don't understand. The narrative has her commit perfidy. If you're looking for girlboss nonsense, you're going to get it no matter what someone writes.Of course there's always going to be that one joker "Why aren't there women in a 10th century medieval army? Use something neutral like "soldiers" instead of MEN!"
>>24921643because you're a male writer, thus have merit. we only shit on female writers who shouldn't be writing in the first place.
>>24921675>what can a girl do on a battlefield.have sex with all the men there. that's their only use
>>24921675I might not have expressed myself clearly. My suggestion is not that the text should refrain from "gendered language", less to to appeal to "modern sensibilities". I was rather trying to give you practical advice to mute your own personal voice in the story, even if you're unaware of it happening. I gave this advice because there is a strong suggestion, by the tone of narration, that the author is compelled to certain feelings against men. If that's not intentional you still somehow raised that impression on me. If you fear you might have unintentionally mixed your personal attitude into the narration, my suggestion was for you to fix that by mentally erasing the notion of the gender of the characters, to dampen what reflects your personal feelings, which have no place in this scene.I can say that especially because you refer to "gender specific terms" as defiant of "normal" gender roles, while any deviation of men/women by definition is abnormal, and so is the equalization thereof. This is what I mean with mixing up your own convictions and feelings into a story that has nothing to do with you.You should practice on not doing that, as an author, and that's not an ideological statement, but genuine advice on how you can grow in your creative pursuits and engagement with your audience. If you want your audience to reflect and agree with your sensibilities, then ignore my advice and carry on writing inaccurate postmodern drivel designed to affirm postmodern ideas and virtue signal.If you want to be a serious writer, you start practicing taking yourself out of your pages and unlearning to be offended at criticism and attacking anyone who dares criticize you.This advice can help you in general in life, but I guess a woman has no business caring about accountability, integrity and reason and I am wasting my time being cynical.
>>24921717if suspicion is risen from you believing it is the author's own beliefs is in the narrative, then obviously I need to have better syntax. I can assure you I am not self-inserting myself, but trying to be in the mindset of the character, despite, what you as the reader feels. >If you want to be a serious writer, you start practicing taking yourself out of your pages and unlearning to be offended at criticism and attacking anyone who dares criticize you.It's fine to criticize, but there needs to be far more substance to a criticism than pointless misogyny and being offended by the word "she", which many anons have a poor habit of.
>>24921735>I guess a woman has no business caring about accountability, integrity and reason and I am wasting my time being cynical.sentences like this are of no help and solidifies the mindset plaguing this board. Its feels similar to that of that one man that got BTFO by a woman and his only response is >YOu're too stupid to understand
>>24921696But that doesn't make any sense. I'm not male or female. I'm an X - Prefer not to answer.
>>24921740>the mindset plaguing this boardIt's unfiltered men, unconditioned by "modern sensibilities", saying what they think. Your hatred of the male perspective, by calling it a plague, is currently plaguing this board, as well as your writing. I took the patience and effort to explain a thing or two, and you took great insult, proving yourself as an exemplary member of the female mindset, taking every opportunity to insult men you could, as you did in your writing, while dodging any criticism.If you weren't as hateful, you would have never come up with that story.
>>24921758>It's unfiltered men, unconditioned by "modern sensibilities", saying what they think. it is not. If you think this, you cannot even see your own biases and self-indulgent attitude. Your idea that misogyny is the norm and "unconditioned" is very very unhealthy. It's sad you can't even recognize your own fault from this. It's okay, time will heal you and cure you of your intense hatred of women. You are far more hateful of women for whatever reason and traumatized by women, than I or my work is of hating men. Get yourself some therapy if you really believe this. Your mind is sick.
>>24921772You said I was misogynist for calling your work "cringe". That says everything about your warped judgement. Furthermore, you're grasping at straws, and failing to do so.
>>24921779nope it's more telling to me of your warped and wickedness because the only thing you were able to say in the first place is "cringe" all because it's about a woman. You didn't mention any of the narrative or anything else before. YOu just wrote "Cringe". That is the most telling to me of the sickness that possesses you. There's no grasping at straws here, you can't even let go of your hatred of women so much you literally just revolved your entire worldview and mindset that you are in good company here to say we (4chan) is the thoughts of "unfiltered men". You literally cannot separate the thoughts on this mongolian basket weaving forum from real life.
>>24921799>all because it's about a woman.See, that's what you made up all by yourself. It's primarily cringe because of the tone and narration and the interactions between the people and how your portray them. I don't even care that there's a woman involved. You could have written an interaction between Cleopatra and some slaves and made it cringe, while she is not cringe herself. It's your writing, not the subject.I can disseminate it into thirty thousand words and make it a peer reviewed paper, but one word suffices. It's conclusively cringe. There is also evidently something wrong with you, but I don't even care about that.You wrote cringe.
I keep telling you shutins that you need to leave your room and live life if you want to come up with something interesting, but you won't listen to me. I ran across a passage in the foreword to "King Solomon's Mines" by H. Rider Haggard that echoes that sentiment.>The poet and scholar Andrew Lang (1844-1912) in the Saturday Review praised Haggard’s “very remarkable and uncommon powers of invention and the gift of ‘vision’.” Lang separated Haggard from the “hack book-makers for boys” who wrote books based on other books they had read, instead of real-life experience.Haggard lived and worked in the part of Africa that would eventually become South Africa and Botswana, then came home to England to write about it.
>>24921877I need a job that doesn't make me feel miserable every minute I'm there
>>24921897Why do you think he felt miserable the whole time? He was there for six years, then went back.
>>24921920Fetishizing misery is so pathetic. I'm in the David Lynch camp
>>24922019Why do you insist that Haggard suffered while in Africa? This is some weird myopia on your part.
>>24922028I'm just blogposting anon calm down
>>24922033Fine, don't take it seriously. But you'll continue to write boring crap that doesn't engage your reader. Nothing beats living life for generating interesting content.
>>24922069>>24922069>>24922069
>>24921842>nothing but "cringe"now i understand why you are the way you are and why you use that specific word. The issue isn't even the writing anymore, the writing is irrelevant, it's bad, but the real issue is you're terminally online. You need to get out more. https://nypost.com/2025/05/12/lifestyle/gen-z-terrified-of-being-cringe-is-why-so-many-are-single-experts/https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/15/learning/does-the-fear-of-being-cringe-ever-hold-you-back.html
>>24922076>The issue isn't even the writingYes it is. I am talking about your writing. That's what we're criticizing here. And it's cringe. Weirdo.
>>24921465Nobody reads magazines or journals. The only reason to submit to those publications is for "street cred." But the joke is that they're so wrought with nepotism they no longer offer real credibility. They merely serve as a sort of initiation ritual for the politically unwell, like jerking off in a coffin to join the Skull and Bones. There are lots of ways to gain an audience but submitting to places like The New Yorker, which hasnt published a single white man since 1981, is not the way to do it.
>>24920558I'll critique it for $20.
