why do people write? Can I write for fun even if it's bad?

>>24951381
Maybe

Do you ever think the greater populous of the population or the other way around will ever come around to the recognise to the virtues or vice-virtues of the strokevictimcore type of style of form of writing of prose or rime or nonrime or the other one or what have you? Will you?

>>24951381
No you're only allowed to write in the hopes of making money

last night I got existential and lowkey scared as fuck, so I busted open a google doc and banged out a nice short story draft I'm now very excited about. it mixes Russian folklore with the aftermath of the recent Balkan wars.

>tfw you repurpose history books into fiction

>>24951408
Most comprehensible poster on /wg/

>>24951381

Just write and you'll (hopefully) get better. If you wrote something one month ago and you still think it's perfectly fine, then it probably means you haven't grown as a writer.

I started writing when I was 29. I'm 30 now and I wish I got started way earlier. Fucking jealous of people who've been at it for years or decades. At least having been a pretty big reader helped me close some skill gaps.

bros... i had an actual reader of my stories, a cute chick that actually read through entire pages and responded in detail. i thought i won the jackpot, but then she drops a nuke on my head, telling me she's getting married soon and that she's feeling worse because of winter. haven't heard from her since. a lil before she went all depressed on me, she fuckin told me that if i see the world the way i write, that since it matches her so perfectly, "then verbal communication is pointless, i’m serious. we’ll communicate via cryptic messages in dreams" - direct quote from her message to me

AHHHHHHHHHH fuck you what are you scared you're gonna cheat with me before your wedding so you go cold turkey?

>>24950842
:D

How often do you come up with something, and think
>oh shit i need to go back and lay the groundwork for this somehow
and then go back and add some shit earlier, and then realize it doesn't read natural at all, so you spend like 3 weeks just editing that?

>>24951422
Well?

Is my Victoria story good enough to get some agent's attention?

>>24951585
No. Nobody wants to read your Victoria slop. Stop fucking posting about it. It's fucking shit.

>historical war fiction where the tanks, aircraft, subs ect. bleed human blood
Immersing, or would it take you out the story?

>>24951651
are they organic synths ala HL2 striders, gunships?

>>24951569
I got a bunch of drafts where I laid down the groundwork and abandoned em for now. But I can come back at any point, when inspiration strikes, and get to work.

As for whether it reads natural or not... I guess there's not much you can do beside hope for the salvation of a click/inspiration helping you untangle or smooth out the awkwardness.

>>24951665
No. They're functionally the same as their real life WW1 and WW2 counterparts. Identical too. Identical hulls, identical radial and rotary engines, identical control schemes, identical models, identical nations. Identical everything. The only significant difference is that they're fueled by blood instead of oil.

>>24951684
Sounds alright to me. Reminds me a lil of one of Death Stranding's trailers where tanks were oozing oil or squid ink. As long as the worldbuilding and reasoning around it is tight, I see no reason for it being an issue.

>>24951585
>he thinks quality writing is what agents are looking for
Biggest mistake in the biz. They're looking for marketable people, ideally those who already have a mass audience.

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Any of you guys remember this book? My teachers loved to assign it

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give me your thoughts, friends.

>>24951779
Awesome, immersive, amazing flow, a great passage to a fantasy novel. A bit of head hopping and strange wording like Earthly and Titan (they're on Earth? And have an ancient Greek mythology?)

>>24951795
In regards to head hopping, in such scenes when many characters are present and there's usually action and movement through and through, I like to use a more "cinematic" approach to scene building. I still do try to avoid describing things that the POV (in this case, Sarlesh) wouldn't be aware of. I am wary of adding too many internal thoughts or even describing him observing things as I feel that harms the flow of the scene.

ChatGPT gave me a good idea and I revised it:
The vending machine accepted the one dollar, three dimes, and a nickel. The selection "C4" registered on the digital display and a upbeat chirp confirmed the transaction. A hum from the motor for 1.7 seconds, then it seized. There was no thunking sound. The plastic-wrapped sandwich remained stuck in a coil, face tilted at a mocking 20 degree angle. The digital display flashed, "Purchase accepted. Have a nice day!" The refund button did nothing.

Original version:
The coin was accepted at 11:43 a.m. The selection button, 'C-4,' registered on the digital display. The motor turned for 1.7 seconds, then seized. The item, a plastic-wrapped sandwich, remained visible behind the glass but did not drop. The machine accepted a total of $2.50. No refund mechanism was activated. The transaction was complete.

>>24951817
You're writing a book not a movie. And movies use cuts to show POV and who's speaking. You don't need internal thoughts or observing things. Head hopping means you're switching pov

Sharlesh glared him down....
Then it goes
His soldiers formed....

We went from Sharlesh doing things to the soldiers doing things. This is head hopping. Stick to Sharleshs pov

>Sharlesh found himself surrounded by the Commander's soldiers.
That's the sentence you should use. If you want more without Sharlesh verb, try
>Sharlesh looked to his left then to his right. Every soldier under the Commander's command blurred together like a solid wall, except the exposed face were sharper than the fangs of the Great Snake.

That way we're still grounded in the MCs pov but still can describe the solders surrounding him

>>24951420
are you our balkanon?

>>24951709
unfortunately this is true. it's a popularity contest. first thing they do is look you up on social media to see if you have any friends and who they are

>>24951779
No. Learn how to format first, friend.

>>24951779
Another head hop
>Sharlesh donned his mask
>Several armed bravos broke from the crowd

>>24951869
>>24951901
That's not head-hopping. Don't listen to this idiot.

>>24951779
>"My brother, I am glad to see you safe and sound"
Add a period. Or an exclamation point. Whatever you intend. And fix the formatting as other anons are mentioning.
Otherwise, nice characterization and worldbuilding! Bravo indeed!

>>24951901
>>24951902
Sarlesh sees the commander, that's fine. Is it implied that he's also seeing the army, or does that need to be more explicit? I'm not the writer, just curious

>>24951779
you're formatting it like a web novel when anons want you to format it like either a manuscript or a book

What should my protagonist do next?

>>24951976
somebody fires a gun

Happy Chanukkah!

>>24951984
Heard your mum died in the holli. How much quid for that autobiography? Yeh the bear an eagle one innit.

>>24951984
חנוכה שמח!

>>24951997
No I came to /lit/ looking for a recommendation thread and noticed the menorah OP. I never posted here before.

>>24952005
Get out while you still can

>>24951981
Anti-Chekhov's Gun, the ultimate technique, few have mastered it

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story
A story about the emotional despair when a boy realizes shagginess doesn't translate once you hit the big leagues. Also, how competition can ruin something even as trivial and inconsequential as shagginess.

>>24951984
Now say Merry Christmas you piece of shit.

>>24952100
if you say that you end up in a vat of poop for eternity

>>24951420
nah but I'm a big balkanology enjoyer. fascinating real life lore.

Robert Hayden's "From Yugoslavia to the Western Balkans - Studies of a European Disunion, 1991-2011" is fucking fascinating