"A Very Randy Christmas" EditionPrevious: >>24951364/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQRESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvCPlease limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.(And maybe double-space your WIPs to allow edits if you want 'em.)Simple guides on writing:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFkTheme: https://youtu.be/mawJ-jBxmLM?si=YjMNCWWVnX2vA9LM
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Is becoming friends with an enemy a stupid trope you’re supposed to kill your enemies aren’t you
He didn't say ten negative things for the rest of his life. The pain was faster than life. Is this curbing? Is this dusk? Or some other dream, a neanderthal clambering?
Rare my opening paragraph:>Three dead. No witnesses. The weapon? Another steel tipped needle.
>Main character is just an expy of my waifuWritefags you never told me it was this easy!
>>24964318>poetryKill yourself ;)
>>24964299It's almost end of year now. We need updates on:1. Esthar the twink assassin story2. Liam's bike story3. Nathan's cyperpunk queen story4. Corn Dog Zen 2: the Bihari Son5. The biblical hillbilly moonshine story6. Call of the Collection Agency7. Talking Goat Scooby Doo8. VictoriaWhat else? You can still be dominated and win /lit book of the year.
>>24964299What if she skips this christmas too? I can't stand the possibility rosechuds
>>24964363Should I name my MC Victoria as a joke
>>24964299My roommate is named Randy
>>24964363>5. The biblical hillbilly moonshine storywhat is this
Anyone else making conlangs
>>24964370Joke? Why joke? Victoria is a great name for a MC
Anons, I got two hours of lunch break at work and I wanna use this to work on my writing.Writing on a smartphone sucks, a notebook or tablet might break on the bus and I don't wanna leave them at work and risk getting stolen.What is my best option? I'm thinking about a wireless keyboard.
>>24965120Ever heard of paper
>>24964664I have before.
>>24965120You can get a throwaway tablet or chromebook for like $50.
>>24964363>1. Esthar the twink assassin storyI'm surprised people still remember this story.
Is it true that prose should be written like poetry?
>>24965304No that's gay
>>24965304Not like poetry but it is important to pay attention to number of syllables in a sentence and paragraph and how they flow together. Flow is sort of like rhyming, but with more of an emphasis how the end of word matches with the start of the next.
first chapter of my fantasy novel, please r8/give feedbackhttps://pastebin.com/z1LgxBaD
>>24965376Fell asleep around line 19. It's not what I'd call "gripping"
>>24965380Boring is better than immediately awful, I guess.Did you stop reading at line 19? What would you have liked to see that would have made you keep reading?
I'm trying to examine what makes me most engaged when reading a new work, and I think there is a sense of mystery that few writers really tap into. I'm thinking of Borges or Nabokov and the way I feel when reading their works, the idea of something secret always lurking in the background, language itself working as both obstruction and guide. Most genre work is by definition the opposite. What do you think of the topic?
>>24965492They just drop questions that the reader wants answered. In The Aleph, Borges opens with this:>On the burning February morning Beatriz Viterbo died, after braving an agony that never for a single moment gave way to self-pity or fearImmediately, the reader wants to know who this person is, how she died, and who she is to the narrator. Each subsequent sentence answers part of the previously opened questions, while creating new ones.>genre work is by definition the oppositedumbass pseud
>>24965475A story, mostly. I'm introduced to a dumb guy who picks herbs and is clearly terrible at it. To begin with, what kind of herbs grow in frozen ground? Not fresh, living ones, that's for sure. Also, you usually use the part of the herb that grows above the ground, which involves no digging. And if you had to dig, for whatever reason, you'd use tools, even a dead branch, rather than your bare fingers. Even a bird can do that. See? We're barely two paragraphs in, and I'm already so deep stuck in these dumb, boring, irrelevant details, I can't go on. What I really want to know is, who the fuck is this dude, and why am I supposed to care about him? That's the story. Not haggling over copper.
>>24965508i don't care much for genre distinctions, i read it all, but i am bitter about the practical use of labels because of how beneficial they can be for publishers. "most" being the key word here. most people looking for fantasy or whatever will expect most works to adhere to a kind of formula and apply cliched language in a way that does not require much decoding. this is why i said i see it as the opposite of something like a Borges story.
>>24965607>what kind of herbs grow in frozen ground? Do you think plants migrate south for the winter or something?>Also, you usually use the part of the herb that grows above the groundYou're joking, right?>And if you had to dig, for whatever reason, you'd use tools, even a dead branch, rather than your bare fingers.Have you ever tried to dig in frozen dirt? It's not easy even with a steel shovel, let alone a knife or trowel.>who the fuck is this dude, and why am I supposed to care about himWhat do you want to know about him? What would make (you) care about him, exactly?
>>24965376>xe keeps being a frogniggerWhen will you learn your lesson, germanfag?
>>24965678>he thinks I'm the krautI enjoy frogs. You don't?
>>24965701>both frogniggers>both have an extremely jarring, downright unreadable ESL style>the MCs are called the same>both alchemistYou aren't as slick as you think, kraut
>>24964363Victoria has my vote
Posting last snippet before I start on Act 2. Critique away.
>>24964363>3. Nathan's cyperpunk queen storyDid that ever actually become something? All i read were drafts.
Is it me or is this moving slower than usual did you all die are you dead am I dead
I tried using ChatGPT to help edit my writing. I basically told it to do a line edit to make things more concise and remove filter words. I added the changes that I liked.Surprisingly, when I fed it it through an AI checker it said 18% AI. My original draft and a few different novel pages got 0%. Fully GPT output got 100% as expected. I was using GPTZero. I know detection tools get a bad rep, but I was surprised how well it worked for my tiny test. I don't doubt it gives false positives or there's easy ways to trick but I was really surprised it caught minor editing. Made me rethink using AI even to edit, it must be making my writing more generic, even for simple tasks.
>>24965225There is even fan fiction for it
